Warnings: Language, Character Death, Graphic Violence, Disturbing Images, Some Sexual Situations etc…

Characters: All TMNT characters, no official pairings. Some Monsters/Characters from Silent Hill maybe used. I will note the ones I have created and the ones I have used from the Games/Movies. The Turtles are in their early 20's, if I had to choose a particular timeline I'd say the 2k3 verse mixed in with the movies, because to me the 2k3 verse they appeared to be older than 15. But I may use elements of ALL the verses.

Brief Summary: After a tragic loss Donatello finds himself transported into the world of Silent Hill where he must face his own personal demons in a hellish world and try to find his way back to his family.

Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership to anything TMNT or to Silent Hill and its worlds. They belong to their respective owners and I make no money from this. I am merely a girl who loves and is inspired by both fandoms which without their creators this story would not exist. I am borrowing the characters to tell my own tale for entertainment purposes.

A/N: This is the first fan fiction I have ever written. Please be kind. I do welcome tips and constructive criticism and yes I am terrible at spelling and grammar but I have tried to be a good girl. At times some of the characters may appear to be OOC, that is because they will be in an AU and trust me if you were transported to Silent Hill you probably wouldn't act normally after a while yourself. Having a bit of knowledge of the Silent Hill games/movies does help but I do not think it is needed.

Prologue

"Mother is God in the eyes of a child"

-Cybil Benett, Silent Hill the Motion Picture

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6 months...

It all started and ended in 6 months.

Splinter…

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-6 months ago-

It all started when my brothers and I noticed he became ill one night. Claiming he had terrible stomach pains and nausea. At first I chalked it up to a bad flu or perhaps something was off with the sushi he ate earlier that day for lunch. Splinter reassured us that he was fine and that some tea would help soothe his upset stomach. Leo made sure Sensei was comfortable and gave him some pills for the nausea. Feeling satisfied that father would be fine I said goodnight to my brothers and went to bed.

A week later Splinter was still having problems and I finally convinced him to come to the lab so I could take a look at him. He kept insisting he was fine and it was nothing but a stomach bug or a mild cold. Something told me it was more than that, not with the way his symptoms persisted with so far no sign of improvement. I checked him over and everything appeared to be fine on the surface but I wouldn't know for sure unless I did a scope so I could possibly see what was going on with his stomach. In recent years I had modified and developed more medical equipment just for these situations. I just didn't think I'd need to use this particular device so soon though. Once I had Sensei under sedation which was necessary in order to perform a scope I had expected at the very worst to find an ulcer perhaps maybe even some inflammation.

What I found was…

What?! No...

It was a tumor.

Upon further examination I found that the tumor was centered in the duodenum which is in the small intestine. It was a rare and very hard to treat type of Cancer even with the best medical equipment available. I felt completely numb.

Cancer…

How am I going to tell my brothers? What am I going to say to father?

Finishing the examination, I let Sensei sleep off the effects of the medication while I sat beside him and waited for him to wake up. I must have fallen asleep because I awoke to a hand on my mine squeezing it softly. Blinking a few times I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes with my other hand and looked over to see Sensei awake and smiling at me. How am I going to tell him? however before I could father spoke.

"Donatello, my son, look at me."

I raised my head to look at him and saw….acceptance?

"I know it is more than a simple stomach bug isn't it Donatello?"

All I could do was nod my head. I was secretly grateful I didn't have to tell him outright because I didn't think I was capable of articulating the words. It hurt too much.

"How long my son?"

I swallowed hard and tried to speak but the words wouldn't come out, clearing my throat I tried again.

"…I…I..don't know for sure father but if I have to estimate I would say 6 months to a year .…"

He nodded and once again took my hand, all I could do was pull him into a hug and I clung to him as long as I could. He didn't ask for the details, father knew it was bad and it was final. No details and explanation were necessary.

My father was dying and there was nothing I could do about it. At least I could help make his final days more comfortable. I left Sensei to rest and went to go talk to my brothers. This was a task I was not looking forward to. I knew this would be hard for them, hell it was hard for me to accept and I was supposed to be the logical one. I vowed to stay strong and positive both for my father and my brothers.

Someone had to keep a level head if we were going to get through this. It wouldn't be easy and I hoped that this would make us come together as a family.

I was wrong.

During the final few months we watched Splinter deteriorate before our eyes. He lost so much weight that it caused him to look like a skeleton because he was unable to keep food down .He suffered from bouts of irritability which would cause him to lash out harshly unexpectedly, which he would later apologize for. I understood that it was due to the constant pain he endured which is understandable but it was hard to deal with. He constantly slept and when he was awake he couldn't stay awake for long. We all took turns taking care of him.

The first month or so after I had diagnosed Sensei was deceptive because he appeared to be getting better. Well as much as you can with Cancer like his. I had looked into Holistic medicine at the insistence of Leo. He had apparently taken upon himself to look up alternate ways of battling cancer since we had no access to a Cancer Treatment facility to even TRY chemotherapy or radiation.

I couldn't blame him, so we tried everything that we could get our hands on. Pills, diet, even as far as a Rife machine. Which I think STILL is total bogus however despite my skepticism I was so desperate to see anything work I would try it no matter how ridiculous it seemed.

A month before his death Splinter became jaundice which is a sign of liver failure. It was hard to tell at first due to father's fur but one afternoon Mikey had been making some tea for Sensei to have while he watched his stories. Mikey was handing him his cup and caught a glimpse of the palm of father's hand. It wasn't the normal pinkish colour, it was yellowy orange. I heard him call me to take a look and I confirmed it.

I let out a heavy sigh; it wouldn't be much longer now. I had to tell the guys and prepare them for the worst hoping it was make the situation easier for them when the time came. What a stupid notion that was.

I took them each aside and told them the news about Splinter individually. Leo just nodded and walked solemnly toward the Dojo and I could tell he was fighting back tears even with his back to me by the way his hands trembled. Raph reacted in the manner I had expected. After throwing one of his Sais into the wall upstairs next to his room he flipped up the wall grabbing it on his way and slammed his door. It was Mikey's reaction that surprised and scared me, causing my stomach to clench even harder than it already was. He just stood there, facing the living room with his back to me. I could see his hands clenching the back of the couch tightly with his head down. I approached him slowly.

"Mikey…" I put my hand on his shoulder and was taken aback when he shrugged it off violently. He turned to me and when I saw the expression on his face I felt something I never dreamt I'd feel when I looked at Mikey.

Fear

In that moment I was afraid of my brother. My sweet fun loving younger brother was looking at me like I was a monster. Before I could ask him what was wrong he cut me off.

"DON'T. TOUCH. ME."

"Mikey!?...w…what?" came my startled reply. He then began to advance on me, forcing me backward into a wall. I flinched as he suddenly punched the brick wall beside my head.

"M…Mikey? What is going on? "

"YOU!" he screamed into my face. "Why haven't YOU done anything to help him Donnie?"

His normally baby blue eyes appeared red and full of anguish and fear. I had never in all these years seen Mikey like this before. He was the one that always kept things light in the mist of bad times. Something I counted on and took for granted. I didn't know what to say. I was frozen.

Without warning he dropped to his knees, his face in his hands and his shoulders began to shake.

In a small quiet voice I heard my brother whisper to me "Why Donnie? Why does it have to be HIM?"

His voice cracking near the end of his sentence almost made me lose it right there with him. All the emotional barriers I've put up these past months threating to break all because I couldn't bare the sight of my "the glass is always full" brother reaching his breaking point. I heard Mikey sniff and saw that he was crying quietly. I pulled him into a hug and begun to rock him in my arms both for his comfort and mine. I just let him cry. He could do that for me. I couldn't afford to lose it now. I could feel my family slowly breaking apart with the stress and I was determined to keep it together. Mikey looked at me and his eyes were no longer red with anger but with grief.

"I…*sniff* I'm sorry Donnie….its not your fault this is happening. I guess I was just fooling myself that maybe Sensei was getting better and I wanted to believe in that so much that your sudden news was hard to take." Wiping his eyes he stood up and held his hand out towards me, I gladly took it. He continued. "I know there is nothing that can be done, I think I've known that for a while but preferred to live in denial because it's easier than dealing with the truth. I can't do that anymore. I see that now"

Sighing I gave my baby brother another quick hug. "Go to bed Mikey, it's been a particularly rough day and we all need some rest." For the first time in weeks I saw a spark of my old bro back as he gave me a genuine smile that reached his eyes. I turned to retire to bed myself when I was stopped by his voice.

"Ummm… hey Donnie?"

"Yeah bro?" turning towards him again with a light smile. He took a step forward tilting his head to the side with a small grin on his face.

"Goodnight Don"

"Goodnight Mikey"

He didn't know it but Mike was my rock during times of stress. Smiling to myself I walked slowly towards my room feeling for the first time a little better. It wouldn't last. It wasn't meant to last.

I just didn't know it would be one of the last times I would see my baby brother smile at me and the last time I would feel as though we were still a family and not strangers going through the motions of life.

A month later, one morning I got up, made some coffee and sat there for about 10 minutes. Savoring the hot liquid in my hands, it was the only time of the day nowadays where I could pretend everything was right with the world and just zone out for a while. Finishing my cup I got up to do my morning ritual of checking up on Sensei in his room to see if he needed anything. Most likely he wouldn't be up anyway, he was now so bad off that even though he could hear and was aware of everything going on around him he could only respond by hand gestures and the slight nod.

Seeing him like this was hard on me and all my brothers but I think it was the hardest for Raph. Despite his initial reaction Mikey appeared to return to his regular self and tried to keep a happy face for father's sake. Raph was unable to contain his emotions at the best of times; however I had noticed he had begun to distance himself from Sensei. This was also noticed by Leo and while I was afraid he'd lecture Raph about how he should spend the time he had left with father, I was happy to see him leave the matter alone. Everyone grieves in their own way and I was thankful Leo could recognize that this was Raph's way of coping with his feelings and the situation even if it was hard to watch.

I imagined it wasn't easy for father to see as well but now was not the time to start a fight. Sensei also understood this, as I discovered one night when he asked to speak to me alone, I told him he should rest and save his strength and refrain from talking too much but he had something important to say.

It would be the last conversation I had with my father and he seemed to know this.

"Donatello my son, please come sit with me. Would you…" He didn't have to finish his sentence I knew he wanted me to light some of his incense for him. Lavender was his favorite and it seemed to bring him comfort. I sat down by his bed and took his hand, nervous for what he was about to tell me.

"I know you carry strong feelings of guilt Donatello. They have begun to weight down your spirit and you feel as though you have failed me. You have been put into a situation I had never wished for you to face at such an early age." He began to cough violently and I helped him sit up as he took a small sip of tea, the only thing he could still get down into his stomach without vomiting it up immediately afterwards.

He continued. "Because of your medical knowledge you have been forced with the task of doctor and have remained focused and strong during these difficult months and have not been able to start the grieving process with your brothers like you should. I regret this…."

I could feel my eyes begin to tear up; I looked away and squeezed my eyes shut. I had to do this for father I could not break down now.

"Even now my son you refuse to let your emotions out because you feel you must be strong for me and for your brothers. I want to thank you on their behalf and myself. You are strong my son, without you I do not think your brothers could have dealt with this situation as well as they have."

"Dealt with the situation well? Father what about Raph? he barely speaks to you or looks at you. I understand but don't you think…."

Sensei cut me off.

"Your brother is very sensitive Donatello. He may try to hide it behind his temper but it is merely a way of defending his heart. Deep down Raphael is a fragile soul and is hurt easily as you well know. He will take my passing the hardest and I am afraid of what he may do afterward."

Splinter paused to take another sip of tea and cleared his throat; he then appeared to be at war with what he wanted to say next. It was rare that I saw my father so unsure about what he wanted to say and it was unnerving.

"My son I must yet ask another difficult task of you"

He set down his tea cup and took my hands in his.

"I ask that after I leave this world that you try to keep yourself and your brothers together as a family and a team. When one is hurting the rest hurt along with him. You four must stick together. I fear that after what transpires that my sons will slowly begin to recede within themselves and grow apart. This must not happen."

I sighed heavily and hung my head and tried to process what father was trying to tell me, I couldn't lie and say I didn't fear the same as he did. I too have had the thought cross my mind as to what would happen to me and my bothers after Splinter was gone. However I couldn't understand why Sensei would ask me to try to keep the family together. After all Leo was the leader, "Splinter Junior" as Raph would say and I would have to agree with Raph on that one. Leo was for the most part, unless it came to dealing with Raph, the calm, collected one. Sure I was the logical thinker but Leo was better suited in my eyes to be the one who could keep us going after father was gone. I decided to voice my concern.

"Father, not that I won't try to do my best but wouldn't Leo be a better choice for this task? He is the leader of the team…"

I trailed off after hearing a soft sigh escape Sensei's lips. He opened his mouth to reply but instead another coughing fit overtook him and this time it was more violent then the previous one. This time I saw blood on the palm of his hand and once again I had to fight to keep it together. I poured some more tea into his cup and let him attempt to soothe his poor throat in order to let him continue. He was exhausted by merely conversing with me and I tried to tell him we should take a break and that he should get some rest but he refused.

"Donatello… do you know why you were chosen to keep your brothers together during the period where Leonardo was sent away? I chose you and not your brother Raphael because deep down you are STRONG and you are a leader in your own right. Please do not look at me like that my son. I know you do not believe in it yourself but I can see it in you. Do not mistake my words and think that I do not believe that your brother Raphael could not be leader, far from it and I have told him this. He also displays many of the attributes of a great leader as well. But you Donatello I feel are far more ready for the tasks then you give yourself credit for. Please remember this."

He paused again to lean back into the pillow on his bed.

"It is true Leonardo is the leader and I not wish that to change, however I sense he may fall into a state of self seclusion after I am gone. Leonardo is strong, a great leader however much like your brother Raphael he is prone to deal with his emotions much like Raphael. I ask you Donatello because you have shown that you can keep a level head in times of distress. I merely ask that you aid Leonardo with your brothers after I am gone. He will need you more than he knows. "

I took all of Sensei's words in. I still felt very inadequate and unsure but I had failed in keeping my father from befalling the fate that has struck him. The least I could do now was not fail him in his final wish. This I vowed silently to myself. I could do this right? I had to. Sensei and my bothers were depending on me. Father spoke again. "Now enough of this talk my son. I love you and your brothers very much and I could not be more proud of all of you and what you have become as individuals and ninjas. That is something I want you all to remember, now I do think I need to rest as you suggested earlier my son."

I nodded in agreement and helped Sensei get comfortable. He squeezed my hand again and smiled at me and it was a bright genuine smile that made my heart tighten for I have missed it so much in these past months. I hugged him gently and bid him goodnight.

"Goodnight father, I will see you tomorrow" He nodded and once again smiled at me. I walked back to my room slowly reflecting on what was said between us. It appeared that my brothers had gone to bed and for that I was grateful. I didn't have the energy to face them right now and explain what was going through my mind. I fell into a fitful sleep.

When I awoke the next morning I did my usual routine of coffee and walked to Splinters room to check on him. As I got closer to his room I felt my heart drop with a feeling of dread. Slowly I slid open the doors to his room and looked in. He was sleeping….

No. wait. I focused on his breathing to find that I couldn't see his chest rise and fall like it should. I felt my eyes water as I slid down to the floor silently in a daze. I knew this day was coming but it didn't make it any easier. I knew tears were falling down my cheeks but I couldn't feel them. I was numb.

Father was gone.

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A/N: Well that is the first chapter and the set up for the craziness that is about to plague poor Donnie. Sorry to be depressing but it is needed .Much of me is in Donatello in this chapter; my father died of duodenum cancer 8 years ago at the age of 46. I basically took my experience with it and tried to portray it through Donatello and Splinter as best I could. Thanks to my peeps at the turtle forum for inspiring me to write! I found that I rather enjoyed it much to my surprise, even if this particular chapter was at times hard to relive a few personal things but hey, they do say write what you know! Thanks again!