A/N: I'm so tired of uninspired writing. Put some damn effort into your writing you lazy bastards!

Disclaimer: I own One Piece about as much as I'm sleeping with Mila Kunis. That is, not at all. Q_Q

My name is Axel Awesome McChiseledAbs, and I was sitting in my kitchen making a sandwich. It was the most amazing sandwich ever made. It had turkey, salami, ham, Swiss and American cheeses, lettuce, tomato, spicy mustard, and a few potato chips between two thick slices of buttered Texas toast. Then, right before I took my first bite, there was an explosion from the living room! I ran in to see what was going on, and to my surprise the television had exploded into a giant, glowing dimensional gateway.

I was about to call the cops when I decided, "Fuck physics," and jumped into the floating impossibility. Landing on the other side, I crashed tumultuously because my story will be good if I use big words. When I looked around, I immediately realized that I was in One Piece because it's my favorite show ever. How lucky can you get, right? So, I walked less than three feet and bumped into Luffy. He was cool, and we were immediately friends and he asked me to join his crew because I have so many skills that are readily transferable to this particular situation.

Luffy took me back to meet the crew where everyone else accepted me as one of them almost instantly, except of course Nami who was madly in love with me, even though neither of us knew it yet. I spent the day teaching Usopp how to be a better sharpshooter, working with Franky on the Sunny, and scratching Chopper's belly. Zoro wanted to have a sword fight, but knew that he wasn't strong enough to challenge me. When night came, there was a big fight between our crew and some unknown, completely uninteresting pirate crew whose captain had somehow magically found a Devil Fruit that counteracted Luffy's abilities perfectly. Since the rest of the crew was pretty much useless, I got up and beat the entire enemy crew. Then, the captain grabbed Nami and tried to run away so I saved her with my new Devil Fruit ability to control existence that I had just gotten by complete chance. I snapped my fingers and the enemy captain no longer existed.

From then on I was Nami's lover until I had to go back to my own world.

"No Axel," Nami said, crying. "Don't go. I love you too much!" We both knew that I had to though, so we made out one last time, and I left by some means that I forgot to explain. Then, when I got home, I still had my Devil Fruit power.

The End.