This can be read as a prequel to The Culmination. If you've read that, you should know which couple this is referring to. Fair warning: this will mostly be angst and smut. Fem-slash smut. So if you don't care for it, don't read it. If you do read it, please review!

Chapter one: Questionable motives

You can plan your life to the second but that doesn't mean it's going to cooperate.

Dorothy Anne Sanders had always known she was different from your average teenager. For one, she'd been doing high school level physics and math by the time she was ten. She'd calculated the speed and position of an asteroid and preventing it from hitting Earth at age 8, for crying out loud. For another, she absolutely loved to read. Her backpack was so full of books for her own research pursuits that there was hardly room for her notebooks. If she really had to give another reason, it would be that she found the company of most other people intolerable. Sure she had her friends, mostly just the few from Ms. Frizzle's class back in the day and a few tolerable minds on the engineering and astronomy teams but for the most part, Dorothy Anne, or DA, as those few friends called her, kept to herself.

DA knew many things: she knew the circumference of the Earth and all other planets in the solar system. She knew the distance to Proxima Centauri (4.243 light years) and its classification (red dwarf). She knew a hundred reaction mechanisms for organic molecules and over two hundred more for inorganic ones.

But she had never guessed the truth about her sexuality. Not until Keesha Franklin's sophomore year spring party when Keesha's grandmother had gone out of town and the budding young actress had thrown a party to celebrate. The night had been loud and crowded, even with all of the smart (or just the lucky) couples sneaking away to the more private rooms in the house. DA had not been one of the ones in those couples. She had been standing by herself off to the side of the grinding dancers, cursing the pounding base, nursing an ice water and wondering why she had even bothered to come. She hated parties, even those thrown by her best friends. When the beer came out, the IQ of and ability to relate to everyone in the room (regardless of their relation) to her dropped to intolerable levels. DA supposed that if she ever got as drunk as some of the other party goers she might've had a different opinion. But she had plans. And she wasn't going to let one night of beer pong, poor decisions, and a boy with a little too touchy hands ruin her shot at the Nobel Prize.

But she wasn't drunk for what happened that night, so she remembered it with painful clarity. Wanda had stumbled up to her, drunk out of her skull. DA tried to make herself less visible. When Wanda got smashed, she was known to do some stupid things; however, her precautions didn't help. Wanda saw her anyway.

"Hey… have you seen Arnold..?" Wanda shouted over the pulsing music, her speech slurred slightly.

DA shook her head. The last time she had seen him, he'd been headed upstairs with Wanda leading him. That had been nearly an hour ago. She'd been trying not to think about what the two of them might have been doing up there. "Nope, I thought he was with you." She told Wanda, placing her water down on the table beside her.

Wanda nodded enthusiastically. "He was…! He was! We were just upstairs… you know… oops!" Another intoxicated party-goer stumbled past, knocking Wanda off balance. Wanda stumbled and grabbed blindly for support as DA quickly leaned in to catch her. Wanda's hand ended up grasping DA's breast while DA's hands found her shoulders.

DA froze, half supporting Wanda under the arms. "Ummm…" DA wasn't sure how to react. Wanda was obviously drunk and the gesture had been an accident but all the same, no one had ever touched her there except her doctor when he'd been checking for breast cancer. Before she could say anything however, Wanda's lips were on hers. The kiss was short but deep and also DA's first. She could taste the alcohol on Wanda's breath but in that moment it didn't gross her out like it should have. She had ceased to think, which should have terrified her. Wanda's lips were so soft, so strong… she started to lean in, her lips parted…

Wanda broke the kiss suddenly. DA wanted more. But Wanda had wandered off, mumbling about finding Arnold by the time DA's brain got around to thinking again.

After a few minutes of stunned blinking, DA had stumbled over to Phoebe, who was sitting on the couch swishing the beer in her cup around in circles.

"Hey Feebs." Phoebe had looked up, startled out of her thoughts.

"Oh… Hey." She had greeted DA flatly as she plopped down next to Phoebe on the couch. She kept obsessively twisting the cup in her wrist, watching the liquid swirl in her cup.

"Wanda just kissed me." DA said frankly. She knew she wouldn't have to worry about Phoebe telling anyone. Phoebe was the most discrete of all of them.

Phoebe looked at her, the cup becoming still in her grip.

"Really? On the…?"

DA just nodded.

Phoebe sat back. "Well… okay then." She glanced sideways at DA. "… are you…?"

DA had visibly jumped. "What? No! It was just Wanda being drunk-Wanda." She laughed. "You know how her judgment goes from awful to truly terrible when she gets smashed. She probably thought I was Arnold."

Phoebe's expression darkened. "Yeah… I bet she did." She went back to swirling her drink. "Is she a good kisser?" She asked casually.

DA shrugged. "What makes a good kisser?"

Phoebe shook her head. "I don't know… How did it make you feel?" She asked DA while staring into her cup.

DA had considered the question. She hadn't been too sure what she was feeling. She didn't know how to describe what was happening to her. Her heart wasn't racing but it felt… lighter, yes lighter was a good way to describe it. And her head still felt terrifyingly empty, like she had just consumed a huge glass of beer. Her fingers were tingling but that could've been from anything.

"I don't know…" She had told Phoebe. "but like I said, it was just Wanda being a drunk idiot."

At that moment, Wanda and Arnold had stumbled past the doorway, clinging to each other and giggling. Phoebe had stiffened when she saw this and excused herself with a hurried, muttered apology. DA had seen her making out with Ralphie Tennelli later on that night after Wanda and Arnold had left in Arnold's car.

She hung around the party later than she should have that night, the memory of lips on hers bubbling to the front of her mind despite the music pounding ceaselessly in her head.

From that day onward, DA decided she was better off not getting involved in romantic relationships and buried whatever feelings she'd experienced from that night deep down. Wanda and Arnold had become official after that night and were now known as one of those perpetual couples that not even the trials and raging hormones of high school could separate. DA accepted them, the same way she accepted Phoebe and Ralphie doing their odd on-again, off-again thing that no one really understood. She retreated to her books and studied hard, determined to let nothing distract her. That was at least until her and Carlos gave it a try in their junior year. But from their first kiss onward, DA knew it wasn't going to work. He was nothing like Wanda. He was hard and pushy and held on way too long. She didn't let him even get that far: as soon as his hands travelled below her waist, her entire body would clench up and she'd have to push him away and breathe deeply to calm herself down.

But she still didn't strip away the possibility. They tried but even she could tell it was going nowhere, painfully slowly. Maybe Carlos and her were too much like siblings for a relationship to have any real heat. She ended it after four months, a nice healthy break-up that hurt neither of them. But all the same, DA didn't date anyone else for the remainder of her time in high school. She instead focused on her studies and as a result got a full merit ride to the school of her choice: Harvard.

So it was in college when DA finally drew her conclusion about herself.

By some cruel twist of fate, she ended up as freshman roommates with none other than Janet Perlstein. Apparently, her family had enough money and the right connections to get their daughter into Harvard's prelaw program on a fast track to Harvard Law. The room selection however, was up to chance. And that chance somehow spit out the only two girls from Walkerville as the residents of room 2341.

The two were nowhere near ideal roommates: DA liked to wake up early and Janet only ever came back to the room long after midnight. They argued over everything and just generally pissed the hell out of each other. DA would have gone to the housing office to request a change but that would require meeting someone new and adjusting to their lifestyles none of which she really wanted to do when time was better spent studying. But she didn't because of what happened towards the end of their second month as roommates.

Janet came back to the room rather early (for her at least) one night and shut the door rather sharply. "Dorothy Anne, would you do something for me?" She asked as she kicked off her shoes.

DA looked up, only half paying attention while running calculations for her latest project on binary star system cycles. "Ummm…. Sure Janet, what is it?"

Janet's hands grabbed DA's face and next second, her tongue was probing DA's mouth.

"mmphh! Janet… Janet! What the hell are you doing?!" DA pulled away, ignoring the heat that had suddenly seemed to appear between her stomach and legs. She knew Janet was straight, she was painfully aware of it. Many nights she had been kicked out of the room because Janet had come back earlier than her with her latest hook-up. DA had heard some things she'd never wanted to hear. Ever. So DA had taken to working in their room instead of in the library. Janet got the hint and visited her boyfriends' rooms instead. So now all DA had to deal with was Janet stumbling in either really, REALLY late or really, REALLY early smelling of cologne and dirty gym socks (Janet liked her men tall, athletic and muscular).

"Oh relax DA, I'm just experimenting." Janet drawled. She lowered her head again. "Try to keep quiet and not squirm." Her tongue entered DA's mouth again, aggressively probing. Janet bit DA's lower lip and pressed her body closer.

"Janet… Janet, no." DA pushed Janet off of her but didn't let go. Her whole body seemed to be blushing. "I… I can't do this…"

Janet chuckled "Can't you? It's not like there's anyone else." She moved closer to DA again and placed her hands possessively on DA's shoulders. "I know honey. I know why you never hang out at the parties, why you never flirt with the guys, why you never want to talk about boys or sex."

DA raised an eyebrow in question. Janet smiled at her, her expression sickly sweet.

"You're a lesbian."

DA felt the blush shoot through her. "What? No! No. No I'm not!" She wasn't, she couldn't be…

Janet smirked. "Dorothy Anne. There's no point hiding it." She chided her. "I won't tell anyone… so long as you give me what I want."

DA had a sudden desire to run and hide in the closet, something that definitely would not help given the current topic of conversation. "What you want?" She asked, hating where this conversation was going. "What's that?"

Janet slowly but firmly slid her hand around the back of DA's neck and drew her closer. "You know, for someone so smart you sure are slow to take a hint." She lowered her mouth again but DA reacted faster this time.

"Janet… Janet no… I…I'm not gay… I'm…"

Janet rolled her eyes. "Are you telling me… you don't want this?" Janet asked, cupping one of DA's breasts through her shirt. DA involuntarily gasped. Janet moved close again, a triumphant smile on her lips. "Or would you rather I start telling people your little secret?" She asked in a husky whisper. DA trembled but whether from fear or desire she couldn't tell. "All I want is sex, honey." Janet said. "No messy relationship, no dates, no missed anniversaries. Just someone to finish when Jeremy doesn't." She started to pick at the ties in DA's hair, pulling her ponytails free and tangling her fingers in DA's long hair. DA was caught, she couldn't move. She knew Janet knew she was stuck. Janet was toying with her like a cat playing with a trapped mouse. She certainly didn't want Janet spreading that rumor even if it was true. She'd never really considered that as the possibility for her lack of interest in dating. She'd always attributed it to being too busy or just not liking any of the options put in front of her. Frat boys weren't much better than high school boys. But girls?

For some reason, she thought of the night at Keesha's party where she and Wanda had kissed. That had been good right? Enjoyable, despite the circumstances. Kissing Carlos had certainly been nice but was it that? DA really didn't know. Was she gay? She had no problem with homosexuality but the thought that she herself might be…

While DA had been musing, Janet had positioned herself on top of DA, kissing her neck and chin repeatedly. DA jumped as Janet tried to capture her lips again.

"But… but… can't you get that from Jeremy?" She asked awkwardly around Janet's mouth and tongue. "Or from…? From…?" She was forgetting the names of Janet's friends.

Janet stopped kissing her and looked up. "Chuck?" She supplied. "Sure I could. But where's the fun?" She shifted her position, straddling DA's hips. "All guys think about are their dicks. They just fuck and run." She stared hungrily into DA's eyes. "I hear it's different with a woman, they understand each other. They know what the other wants." She slid her hand under DA's shirt and fondled her breast through her bra. DA froze as heat shot to her chest and face, making it hard to breathe. "Oh, you're blushing." Janet observed as she moved her hands up DA's chest to rest hotly on her shoulders. "Don't tell me I'm your first?"

Janet climbed off of DA and took her hands in her own, pulling her up out of her desk chair. They stood together in the center of the room, DA breathing hard, Janet looking impatient.

"Take command." Janet instructed as if this were obvious. "Kiss me."

DA balked slightly and Janet's grip on her hands tightened threateningly. "Do it!" She said, eyes flashing.

Her heart racing, DA slowly leaned in and pressed her lips against Janet's. Janet's lips immediately parted and she let out a deep, throaty moan. DA pulled back.

"Oh just relax and kiss me." Janet said with an annoyed sigh, pulling her close and wrapping her arms around her waist, constricting them together. DA hesitantly kissed her again, pushing her tongue into Janet's mouth this time. She jumped as Janet squeezed her ass but was wrapped too close around Janet for it to break their kiss.

They fell backwards onto Janet's bed, Janet landing on top of DA, pinning her down. Not that it mattered; DA was finding it rather hard to think, let alone move.

Janet moved slowly over her, kissing her cheek, her neck, her collar, the expanse of fabric covering her breast. With her head positioned between DA's breasts, she looked up at her.

"Undress me." Janet commanded. The past few minutes seemed to have finally found the off switch in DA's brain. She didn't think as she sat up and pulled Janet's shirt off over her head. Her fingers fumbled with the button and zipper on Janet's pants and she pulled them off Janet's hips. Janet stood up to kick her pants off and pull her panties down. She let DA struggle with her bra for a moment before reaching down to help her. Fully naked, Janet stretched out on the bed next to DA.

"You should be on top." She scolded her. Slowly, she slid her naked form under DA, arching her back and wrapping one arm around DA's neck. DA straddled Janet, still wearing all her clothes. She didn't know what to do. Should she undress too? Did Janet just want her to do it or did she expect her to touch her first?

Janet broke DA's worrying by grabbing her hands and pulling them down to her breasts.

"Touch me." Then she lay back and closed her eyes.

DA ran her hands over Janet's breasts, eliciting several moans. Following Janet's squirming, DA let her hands trace down over Janet's stomach and come to rest on her hips.

Janet's eyes flew open and she grabbed DA's right hand and pulled it down between her legs. "Get your fingers down there and get to work." She told DA. Then she lay back again and spread her legs wide.

Her hand already in way too deep, DA felt her way around, unsure of where to focus. Janet was already pretty wet, from time spent alone with Jeremy she had no doubt. DA knew a lot about anatomy. But apparently research was no substitute for experience when it came to sex. She touched a few places, her fingers fumbling and hesitating.

Beginning to get impatient, Janet leaned up and roughly kissed DA again.

"Come on DA. Let's have some fun."

It was only once Janet was fast asleep in her own bed later that night that the enormity of what had just happened hit DA hard. She buried her face in her hands and turned into her pillow. Tears pricked her eyes. She had just lost her virginity. To Janet.