Between Chōji's almost insatiable appetite for cooked meat and Jiraiya's uncanny ability to always be hungry when Naruto was buying, lunch was a very interesting affair.

But Naruto found himself liking the kids. Shikamaru was smart. Dangerously smart and, despite his extremely lazy attitude, most of the things he did showed that. From the way his eyes would wander and scan whatever had managed to get his attention to the way he would pretend to sleep and yet absorb every piece of information available (a very handy shinobi skill, actually). For somebody as observant as Naruto it was easy to notice. And one had to be observant to survive two decades with Jiraiya.

Chōji was a nice kid, if eternally hungry. As understandable as it was, his family jutsu requiring it, perhaps they could work on turning the fat into actual muscle. And he did have a pretty big heart.

As for Ino, she was a riot. Sure, she was a massive fangirl, but not the biggest of their class if what Naruto heard was correct. There were some mutterings about a loud pinkette (which was apparently the girl's natural hair color) Naruto was not looking forward to meeting. But the girl on his team had some real potential, being a Yamanaka with powerful mind jutsu and a body inherited from centuries of shinobi ancestors. Now if he could only get her to stop dieting and eat the damn protein in front of her. This would require some help.

"Sensei, do you have something to write on? And with?"

"That's a stupid question to ask a writer." Jiraiya fished them out from one of his many pockets.

"You write, Jiraiya-Sama?" Ino asked, looking up from her salad. "What?"

"Why just the greatest piece of literature you will ever see."

"Mostly porn." Naruto shrugged. "There was this one book that was good, but after that it was mostly porn. Well written porn, though."

"Thanks a lot kid." Jiraiya deadpanned, once again cut off mid-speech.

"You're welcome Sensei." Naruto smiled at the man before starting to write on the scroll he was given.

"Oh, is it time for your weekly letter already?" Jiraiya raised an eyebrow, getting the attention of the three genin.

"Yup." Naruto was utterly unperturbed by his teacher's sarcasm. "Why, did you want to say something?"

"Yeah, tell her that I can't wait to get a chance to grab her-"

"So that's a 'hi', then?"

"Yeah, sure." Jiraiya shrugged.

"What are you two talking about?" Ino's gossip-sense had been tingling the entire conversation.

"Oh the brat's just writing a letter for his girlfriend."

"And what exactly on his girlfriend do you want to grab?"

"No, not her. But her teacher's an old friend of mine and she has huge-"

"-drinking problems." Naruto butted in not looking up from his writing.

"That is not what I wanted to say."

"I know Sensei, but there are children present and I'm trying to censor you. Honestly, I don't think it's working all that well." Jiraiya just grinned and patted Naruto on the shoulder. "There, done." He tapped the side of his head. "Yo, Kichi, get down here."

It was then that, to the utter surprise of his students a small orange toad wearing a blue west jumped down from within Naruto's hair and rubbed its eyes. Chōji's eyes comically widened, Shikamaru just stared at the thing before sighing, but Ino's reaction was a little bit more explosive.

"GAH!" She shrieked, jumping back over the bench she was sitting on and hiding behind it. Her little mockingbird shot up from its own part of the salad, disturbed by her new friend's sudden disappearance.

"Morning, Aniki. What'd ya need? Oh, hey, food." The small toad grabbed a piece of meat with its tongue. "What's up with her?"

"The hell?" Chōji muttered to himself.

"Troublesome. A summon." Shikamaru sighed.

"F-F-FROG!" Ino shrieked again.

"Excuse me?" From the toad's look you'd think she just insisted its parents had never married. "I will have you know missy that I am a toad." It jumped on the bench in front of the girl, ignoring her half-step back. "Repeat after me now: toad. T-O-A-D."

"Kichi, knock it off." Naruto furled the scroll. "You're starting to sound like Pa." The orange toad looked at him for a few moment before face palming.

"Dammit, not again. So who're the brats?"

"These are Ino, Shikamaru and Chōji, my new team. Team, meet a member of the Toad Clan of Myōbokuzan, and my personal summon and best friend, Gamakichi, son of the Toad Boss Gamabunta."

"And next in line after the old man retires." The toad pointed at himself with a proud smirk. "Nice to meetcha. Anyway, did ya need something?"

"Right. I need you to take this very special, super important, high-class and top-secret scroll." He handed Gamakichi said scroll. The toad looked at the name on the front and sweat dropped.

"Y'know, you could just tell me it's a letter for your girlfriend. Really, I wouldn't mind."

"Sorry." Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I just didn't want you to feel like a glorified messenger between the two of us."

"So you thought you'd lie to me instead?"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Which is why you should think these things through. Really Aniki. Oh, hey Jiraiya, didn't see you there." And with that the toad poofed off, leaving Jiraiya behind to grumble about ungrateful brats.

"I swear, you two are exactly the same."

"Eh? Sorry Sensei."

"Bah, forget it."

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Meanwhile in a large town in Kaminari no Kuni a woman with short black hair dressed in a black kimono was folding clothes in a hotel room and putting them into a pair of sealing scrolls.

"Need to be ready in case the collectors come again." She muttered to herself. "Or if Tsunade-Sama needs to skip town. Again." She sighed, looking longingly out the window and in a general south-easterly direction.

She was knocked out of her thoughts by the signature poof of a summon appearing.

"Hey Shizune." The toad raised a webbed hand in greeting. "Got a letter for ya here."

"Ah, Gamakichi. Thank you." She smiled at the summon and took the scroll.

My Dearest Shizune,

I hope this letter finds you well, and that Tsunade isn't harassing you too much.

I really miss you. Sensei and I just got to Konoha yesterday, and I'm already saddled with a team. But they're an interesting bunch of kids, I have to admit. I have a Nara, an Akimichi and a Yamanaka, so teamwork at least won't be a problem. Now I just need to whip them into shape.

I could actually use your help with that. The Yamanaka, a girl named Ino, is a pretty big fangirl. Now apparently the object of her desires is the class heartthrob, and the last Uchiha in the village. She seems to think that dieting will help draw his attention to her. Honestly I'm drawing a blank here. I have no idea how to break her out of the ridiculous habit. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Since I have a team now I'm not sure I'll be able to get out of the village in time to see you on your birthday. I'm really sorry about that. I'll be sure to send you an extra gift to try and at least make up for it a little.

I know it's only been a few weeks since we've last seen each other but I miss you a lot already. My parents left me this giant house, and even with Sensei there it's still too empty. And every night I go to sleep I wish you were there. Sure, it's only been one night, but that only means I have a perfect record.

Yours,

Naruto

P.S. Sensei wants to say hi to Tsunade. You and I both know what that means but since she's probably reading this over your shoulder I'm gonna refrain from writing it. I happen to like my head exactly where it is, thank you very much.

P.P.S. He misses her. Even if he won't actually ever admit it like a normal person.

Shizune sighed in happiness at the letter, completely ignoring her teacher who had come in around half and was just now finishing it up.

"You two are ridiculous, you know?" Tsunade looked at her blushing student. "Like a couple of lovesick teenagers."

"You can tell me that when you can stop imagining your man yourself, Tsunade-Sama."

"Yeah, right. I have better things to do." The older blonde woman dismissed her student's claims.

"Tsunade-Sama…" Shizune sighed. There were many things she wanted to say to her teacher, but she thought better of it. Those kinds of discussions never ended well, and Tsunade didn't smell nearly enough of alcohol for Shizune to be able to handle it. "Would you like to say something back?"

"Yeah, tell the brat he's a cheater and to slap the pervert for me."

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Dear Naruto,

Thank you for the letter. I too agree that it hasn't been that long but I always look forward to hearing from you, even if it's just words on paper.

It's nice to know that you've already gotten a team. I know being a teacher was always one of your life goals. It's good to hear that they have promise. Maybe you can teach them to take better care of you than you do of yourself. It would certainly make me worry a bit less.

As for your female student, the only thing I have to help you short of actually talking to the girl myself is to explain to her exactly, and in great detail, what dieting does to her body. And if that doesn't scare her straight try telling her that her little Uchiha is attracted to strength, not scrawniness. Which is probably true, now that I think about it.

Please don't worry about my birthday. I realize that there are times when things that are unavoidable get in the way of your plans. I would of course very much like to see you, but just knowing that you're thinking about me is enough. You don't need to send an extra present. Even though I know that you'll ignore that and just send one anyway.

I am really sorry I couldn't be with you now. I know being in the house that belonged to your parents, seeing the room they prepared for you, can't be easy. I wish I could be there. I really do. I would like nothing more than to settle down with you and be done with all this travelling and running away from creditors. But I cannot abandon my Sensei any more than you could yours. Maybe, hopefully, in a few years we could be together.

With Love,

Shizune

P.S. Tsunade-Sama says that 'you're a cheater and to slap the pervert', but I know you won't so just say hi back.

P.P.S. She misses him too. She just won't admit it to herself, let alone out loud.

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I'm not one for romance in real life, even though I tend to like some of it in stories I read and write. But I hope I'm doing ok with this one.

Also, and this has been bugging me for a while, I tend to hate how Jiraiya is portrayed in some stories. Like he's nothing more than a perverted idiot or screw up. He was one of my favorite characters, a lot of fun but so dangerous that two Akatsuki members (and one of them with that eye) would rather run away then face him with two children holding him back, one of which was already unconscious. But some authors seem to forget that. So I hope to portray him in a much more positive light, with his perversion (which honestly is a vital part of his character) as more of a side note. Something that's there but not in your face, so to speak.