So this turned out considerably longer than I intended. At first I just wanted to write a plotless bit of smut where River was a stripper and gives the Doctor a sexy lap dance. But then suddenly a wild plot appeared, with fluff and feels and everything. No one's more surprised than me.

As I write this, on my internetless laptop in my house in the Dark Ages, I have only just watched The Name Of The Doctor (although I finished writing this fic about two days before, so obviously it has nothing to do with anything since it's basically an AU). Having no Twitter or Tumblr to hand, I am in desperate need to vent some of my fangirl feelings in whichever way I can because oh. My. GOD. So bear with me for just a second...

OH MY GOD SERIOUSLY MOFFAT I AM DROWNING IN ALL MY RIVER SONG FEELS FORGET ALL THE CLIFFHANGERS AND CONFUSION THANKS TO RIVER AND THE DOCTOR I MAY NEVER STOP CRYING SERIOUSLY I CANNOT EVEN I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO EVEN EVER AGAIN JUST LEAVE ME HERE TO DIE I SWEAR THIS FUCKING FANDOM WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME GETTING STABBED IN THE HEART WOULD HURT LESS THAN THAT FUCKING EPISODE OH MY GOD I AM 5000% DONE I HAVE NOT BEEN IN THIS FANDOM LONG ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT STEVEN MOFFAT NEEDS TO GO SIT IN THE CORNER AND THINK ABOUT WHAT HE HAS DONE TO ME BECAUSE THIS IS NOT OKAY I CANNOT FUCKING EVEN RIGHT NOW.

...aah, I feel better. Anyway chuck some reviews at me. They are always much appreciated.

And I swear to you all, dearest Humble Readers, with one hand on my heart and the other on River Song's diary, I do not own a thing.

Lost and Found

The Doctor parked the TARDIS in a secluded alleyway, just beside the building's staff entrance and an overflowing skip. He had been searching for so long, refusing to give up hope even when success seemed impossible, but he never would have imagined in a million years that his search would bring him to a place that was so... unseemly. He had travelled across all of time and space, and yet it had brought him here; to a filthy alleyway in London, 2013. Not quite the rip-roaring adventure he was expecting. But hey, the night was young.

He made his way into the club called Vixen's, his psychic paper acting as ID to make up for his twelve year old's face. The club's interior was ever so slightly less sleazy and depressing than he was expecting. The stages and podiums were lit with coloured spotlights, making the tables surrounding them look gloomy and dim in comparison. The Doctor wasn't quite sure where to look, and he hoped that no one noticed his blushes at all the semi-naked women walking around and dancing up on the poles. Other than the dancers, there didn't seem to be any other women in the entire club.

The Doctor found a seat at the front of the main stage, in between a group of suited businessmen and a rowdy stag party, and was just wondering to himself whether they served tea here when an announcer finally ended all his searching.

"And now, gentleman, say hello to Melody!"

The lights went up and suddenly there she was, strutting on stage in sparkly high heels, her skin shimmering with body glitter. She was wearing a barely-there dark blue nightie with a clearly visible matching set of lingerie underneath, stockings and a lacy garter. Her hair was much longer than he remembered, the unruly blonde curls falling over her shoulders and looking like a halo of gold in the spotlights. Her dazzling eyes were lined with black kohl, and her full lips were glossed and so very, very kissable. This was what the Doctor had spent so long looking for – his love, his wife, his River Song.

Her dancing was impossibly and effortlessly sexy. She moved to the thumping, bassy music, grinding her hips and running her hands through her hair before jumping up and spinning around the pole. She turned herself impressively upside down, her legs spread wide, and the Doctor was definitely blushing now. Not that anyone would have noticed; every man in the room was cheering and whopping and wolf-whistling as River swung herself elegantly off the pole and began to slip off her nightie in time to the music. Her eyes seemed to linger on every face she saw, darkened with an unmistakeable come hither look that the Doctor had missed so much.

Her nightie was kicked aside, revealing a skimpy dark blue bra and thong that left very little to the imagination. Not that the Doctor needed to imagine what she looked like without them. He knew every inch of River Song in more detail than anyone in this club. She hooked her thumbs around the straps of her bra, pulling them down as she shook her hips and shimmied her shoulders. The crowd's cheers turned to roars when River finally lost the bra, licking her lips as she squeezed both her full, perky breasts with both hands. The Doctor's face was burning. He knew River had always been a bit of an exhibitionist, but this was ridiculous.

River went down into the splits – the Doctor may have actually said yowzah out loud, but he wasn't sure – shaking her messy of curls out of her face, before crawling towards the edge of the stage. Many men surged forward with their wallets ready, tucking crumpled banknotes into the elastic of her thong as she crawled like a seductive pussycat across the stage, caressing her breasts, shaking her arse and dragging her fingers through her hair.

Finally she was right in front of the Doctor, and his breath caught in his throat. She locked eyes with him properly, not like how she had looked at all the other men vying for her attention, but like he was a real person.

"Hello, sweetie," she purred over the thumping music. "Got anything for me?"

The Doctor shook himself out of the trance that staring into her eyes had put him in, and quickly pulled a wad of crisp, new £50 notes out of his jacket pocket. "Of course I do, River."

She smiled a little quizzically, offering her leg as she moved to the music so he could slip each banknote individually under her garter. "It's Melody, sweetie. Who's River?"

He looked up in surprise, his fingers fumbling with the money for a second. He could tell by the look on her face that she wasn't being coy. She honestly didn't know who River was. And there was no recognition in her eyes as she looked flirtatiously down at him. She didn't know who he was either...

The Doctor composed himself quickly and smiled. "Just a girl you remind me of."

"Ohh," she said playfully. "Should I be jealous?"

He offered her the last £50 note, which she took from him with her teeth. The Doctor couldn't help but smirk. "Not in the slightest."

She grinned and winked at him, before crawling over to the other side of the stage to dance in front of the noisy stag party. It was heartbreaking to know that she didn't know he was, that she didn't even know who she was, but the Doctor was still unbelievably, embarrassingly turned on. As completely and utterly yowzah as his River Song was – the tough, feisty, impossible Dr. River Song he had married, the River Song he had known so well before he'd lost her through a Time Rift so long ago – he had never, ever imagined her as an exotic dancer, stripping off skimpy outfits for tips on the stage of a Soho gentlemen's club. It should have been sleazy and cheap and yucky and sad, but if he was being truly honest with himself, the Doctor was finding it all alarmingly hot.

River finally finished dancing, receiving considerably louder cheers and applause than the girl who had gone before him. She quickly snatched up her discarded bra and nightie and, just before she left the stage, she turned her head, locked eyes with the Doctor once more, and blew a kiss over her shoulder.

Later on the Doctor had moved to a slightly more secluded table, with a drink in front of him. The scantily clad but actually quite friendly waitress had given him the closest thing Vixen's had to a cup of tea, which was a glass of Long Island Ice Tea. After the first sip the Doctor realised that it was absolutely nothing like tea and had given up on it. He was wondering how best to get River on her own, when he looked up and all his wondering became pointless.

"Hello again, sweetie."

River leaned demurely against his table in her little blue nightie and sparkly high heels, a flirtatious smirk on her face that made both the Doctor's hearts race.

"Oh, erm... hello," he said awkwardly. "Melody, isn't it?"

"It is," she said huskily. "How about a private dance, sweetie? Just the two of us, in the back room."

His hearts were definitely racing now. "Sounds like fun... I'm up for that."

"I bet you are, you bad boy."

The flirting was just the same as always, and just as good. He let River lead him by the hand across the club, noticing just how many men tried to get her attention as she walked by and how confidently she managed to ignore every single one of them. She nodded briefly to an enormous bouncer, who pulled aside a velvet curtain to reveal a series of small separated alcoves where men were receiving private lap dances. River led the Doctor to a secluded alcove at the far end of the room.

"There is only one golden rule before we begin," she said, pushing him into a chair. "I can touch you, but you can't touch me. Got it?"

The Doctor nodded, his palms feeling sweaty. "So... you really don't know who I am?"

"Should I?" said River, turning around to sort out the music. "We do get the occasional celebrity here. Footballers, mostly, the odd bloke off the telly, a randy politician or two. Which category do you fall under, sweetie?"

"None of them," he said. "I'm the Doctor."

River turned with a grin, her hands on her hips. "Oh, you're a doctor? Doctor who?"

The Doctor stifled a laugh. "It's just... the Doctor."

"Just the Doctor?" she said with a smirk, leaning forward and resting her hands on his shoulders."How mysterious."

The music was much slower this time. River began to grind down on his lap, her fingers playing with his hair. Her face was close enough for their noses to graze, and he was itching to touch her already, when suddenly she was off his lap and dancing just in front of him. She shook her hips to the music, never breaking eye contact as she slipped out of her nightie. Once again she was in nothing but her teeny tiny thong, and the Doctor had to clench his fists tightly to stop himself from reaching out to cup her full breasts that he knew fit perfectly in his hands.

She turned on the spot and watched him over her shoulder as she very slowly bent over and touched her toes. The Doctor let out a quiet groan, hardly daring to blink as he stared at her and his trousers feeling tighter. River slowly stood up straight again, rolling her hips in time to the music, before she suddenly turned and went down on her hands and knees. She crawled towards him, her darkened eyes staring right up into his, and rested her hands on his knees. Her hands caressed his thighs, spreading his legs so she could settle herself between them, and the Doctor trembled as her fingers travelled ever so close to the bulge in his trousers. He thought she'd stop there but suddenly her face was right in his crotch, nuzzling the very obvious erection straining against the fabric. The Doctor was sure one of his hearts was failing.

River raised herself up until they were face to face, before turning around and sitting on his lap so her back was pressed against his chest. The smell of her hair was intoxicating, like fresh flowers and sharp spice and the indescribable smell of time that lingered on all Time Lords. As she began to grind down into his lap, rubbing against his arousal, her hand went behind her head to tangle in his hair, and he had to use all the strength he could muster not to touch her.

"This girl I remind you of," River whispered. "Whatever her name is..."

"River," the Doctor said breathlessly, nuzzling her neck. "Her name is River Song."

"A little bit fairy tale, but if you say so," she said, grinding down harder into his lap. "So are the two of you just friends, or...?"

"Oh no... much more than just friends... we go way back."

"Surely she wouldn't be happy to see you like this... with a half naked woman on your lap."

The Doctor chuckled into her neck. "Quite the opposite, actually. She'd want to watch... or join in."

"Oooh, sounds like my kind of woman."

"Oh, Melody... you have no idea."

River giggled, before turning so they were face to face and straddling him. He could feel her bare breasts pressed against his chest, and her face was so close he easily could have kissed her. She was still grinding down against his clothed erection. There was no way she couldn't feel it. She was doing this on purpose, practically riding him, shagging him senseless with his clothes still on. Her fingers dragged through his hair as her lips brushed lightly against his neck, and his hips bucked upwards against her without him even realising it. He heard River moan right in his ear and it only turned him on even more. He was going to come in his pants like a hormonal human teenager, he just knew it.

"Doctor," she moaned into his ear, sounding just as desperate as he felt. "I want you so badly... I'd have you right here on this chair if I could... you make me so wet."

He felt the tip of her tongue trace the shell of his ear before she sucked very gently on his earlobe, while her hand slipped slowly down his chest, fingers dancing teasingly around his belt buckle before her hand cupped his crotch. It only took that touch for the Doctor to finally fall apart, his hands grabbing tightly onto her thighs of their own accord as his orgasm crashed over him and he let out a long deep moan into her neck.

The Doctor's mind felt completely clouded over, so it was a while before he realised that he was breaking the one and only rule by touching his lap dancer, even if she was technically his wife. He snatched his hands away from River thighs, quickly feeling embarrassed by what had just happened.

"Sorry about that."

River giggled, her arms around draped around his shoulders and her lips still right against his ear.

"Don't you dare apologise, sweetie," she said in a husky whisper. "This isn't over yet."

The Doctor gave her a sideways look. "What do you mean?"

"Vixen's closes at 3am," River said with a smirk. "Come in through the staff entrance round the back. I'll be waiting for you in the dressing room, no one will be around. You and I can finish what we've started here."

The Doctor could only nod. River kissed him on the cheek before getting up off his lap. She offered him her leg again, and it took a second for the Doctor to snap out of his trance and reach into his pocket for yet another large wad of £50 notes, which he slipped into her garter. He wasn't sure exactly how much he was paying her, but it didn't matter; she was worth every penny and more.

The Doctor had never been very good when it came to patience. Closing time for Vixen's wasn't for another two hours and the Doctor honestly didn't think he could bear to wait that long. Time always moved so slowly, especially when it was going in the right order. So, after watching River disappear with a final blown kiss over her shoulder into the crowd of the club, the Doctor rushed outside and back into his TARDIS, partly to change his pants but mostly to fast forward.

He was rather impressed with himself that he managed to land at exactly 3am, in the exact same spot next to the exact same overflowing skip. After some important final checks – fixing his hair and straightening his bowtie in the reflection of the console monitor – the Doctor left the TARDIS and stepped back into the night. He made his way up the few steps to the staff entrance of Vixen's, and rushed down the thankfully deserted corridor. He eventually found the dressing room, which was a large communal space full of mirrors and clothing rails and dressing tables packed with makeup and hair spray.

And there, standing right at the end table, was River. She was wearing a tight black miniskirt and an equally tight red top that showed off her ample cleavage quite spectacularly, and she was checking her makeup in the mirror with her back to him. The Doctor strutted up to her, fiddling his bowtie again as he did, and she caught his eye in the refection with a smirk.

"Hello, sweetie. You're right on time."

She turned to face him, leaning against the table and smirking up at him.

"As if I could stay away," he said with a smirk to match hers.

With a mischievous grin, River suddenly took the Doctor's face in her manicured hands, pulling him down for a heated kiss. The Doctor's arms failed beside him for a moment – it always happened when she caught him off guard – before he finally settled one hand on River's lover back and the other in her unruly curls. He couldn't think of any words good enough to properly describe just how wonderful it was to be kissing his River again, to have her lips hard against his, her tongue demanding entry into his mouth.

It was even better being able to touch her, and touch her he did. He let his hands travel over her hips, her back, the bare skin of her arms and shoulders. He kissed down her jaw and her neck, licking and sucking on the exact spot that he knew always drove her wild until she moaned against him.

"Ohh, Doctor," she gasped, raking her fingers through his hair. "There's something about you... something so different... and yet so familiar..."

The Doctor hummed against her skin, shivering with a thrill of hopefulness. There was something familiar about him now. Maybe she would remember who he was, who she was, who they were together. Just the possibility made him want her even more. He had missed this so much, missed having his beautiful, sexy wife all to himself, to do with what he will.

He let his hands roam down her back, grabbing her arse and squeezing before lifting her up onto the dressing table. River immediately wrapped her legs around the Doctor's slim hips, pulling him into another hard kiss as he cupped one of her breasts. She pushed his jacket off his shoulders and onto the floor, unclipped his suspenders and pulled off his bowtie. She was already working on his shirt buttons before the Doctor was fully aware that she was even undressing him, so absorbed as he was by her lips and tongue completely dominating his mouth, kissing him like she was in charge, which she obviously was.

He pushed up River's top without taking it off, pleased to see that she wasn't wearing a bra, and quickly dipped his head down to take one of her nipples in his mouth, sucking it and flicking his tongue over the hard little nub until she was crying out against him – she was still quite the screamer.

His hands soon found their way up her skirt, moving her tiny little thong aside quite easily and pushing two fingers inside her already soaking wet cunt without much warning.

"Oh, Doctor!" she moaned loudly, throwing her head back.

He fingered her quickly as River's trembling hands managed to unzip his trousers and released his achingly hard cock, taking it in her hand and stroking just as fast as he finger-fucked her. Her little whimper of disappointment when he removed his fingers turned into a loud cry of pleasure as the Doctor replaced them with his cock, pushing inside her inch by inch until he was balls-deep.

The Doctor had to take a moment to breathe deeply against River's neck, attempting to calm himself down before he came straight away. It had been such a long time since he'd last been buried deep inside his wife, his erection squeezed to perfectly in the tight, wet heat. He had missed this so much, this wonderful, incomparable feeling of closeness to the woman he loved. Even if she had no idea exactly how much this meant to him.

At the feel of River tugging impatiently on his hair, the Doctor finally started to move. There was no starting slow and gentle; he had waited far too long for that. He thrust into her hard and fast, so vigorously that the dressing table was shaking underneath them, cans of hair spray and tubes of body glitter toppling over and falling onto the floor. River cried out louder and louder, begging him not to stop as her fingernails clawed down the back of his neck. He knew she was right on the edge, clinging on just to make it last longer, and he tried his best to do the same. It was like she was the whole world, the whole universe, every universe, brighter than every star and more beautiful than every galaxy.

All too soon, neither could hold on any longer. River shook hard against him, biting down into his shoulder to muffle her scream as her climax hit her, and the Doctor was only seconds behind her, thrusting messily into her rippling, convulsing cunt until he had completely emptied inside her. And as his orgasm came, so came all the love and devotion he had every felt for her, pouring out of him in waves until they were both completely spent.

He held her close in the afterglow, softening inside her before carefully pulling out and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. He could feel her trembling against him, her arms tight around him. He thought she was shaking from the aftershocks of her orgasm, until she whispered something in his ear.

His name. His real name, the secret he would trust with no one but his River Song. She whispered it softly into his ear, and he pulled slowly away to look at her face to face. Tears were swimming in her eyes.

"You remember me?"

She nodded, her tear-filled eyes wide with the shock of it.

"So... you remember who you are too? You remember that you're River Song, my wife?"

She nodded again, looking more uncertain this time. "I don't remember everything. There are still a lot of gaps in my memory, things I don't understand. But I know you're my Doctor... and I'm your River Song."

The Doctor let out a burst of delighted laughter, taking River's face in his hands and kissing her lips, her cheeks and her forehead. He stepped back so she could get off the table and they could quickly put their clothes back on, before the Doctor gathered River back into his arms. He was so pleased to find that she hugged him back just as tightly.

"I've missed you so much," he said. "I never stopped searching for you, River. From the second I lost you, I never gave up hope that I would find you again."

He took her face in his hands once more, wiping away her tears with his thumb, so unbelievably glad to see the recognition in her beautiful eyes.

"How did you even end up here, of all places?" he asked.

River smiled a little sadly. "I woke up in a little flat about five minutes from here. A girl called Sienna was walking home from her shift here and found me passed out in an alleyway with no money or identification on me or anything. I've been living with her ever since, and she got me my job at the club. I couldn't remember anything, nothing at all. Just the name Melody, and... and this."

She untangled herself from his arms and went over to her handbag, rooting around inside until she found a ring on a long silver chain. The ring was gold, set with a beautifully glittering stone that somehow managed to look black, green, blue, silver, purple and red all at once.

"I had this around my neck when I woke up," said River. "I'm not even sure what type of stone this is, but it's probably worth a fortune. I could have sold it – goodness knows I could have done with the money – but I didn't. Every time I hold it, it's like... like it's a part of me. It's as if that whole time when I'd forgotten who I was this ring never did. I assumed it was a gift from someone really close to me, like a family member or something..."

"It's your engagement ring," said the Doctor, smiling as he remembered the look on her face on the day he first gave it to her. "It's a Gallifreyan heart stone, one of the last in the universe. In any currency you can think of, it's priceless. It holds in all the love and sentiment and happy memories of the person who gave it and the person who received it, and the longer you keep it the more love it stores inside itself, keeping the wearer safe. You wore it around your neck because you were afraid of losing it. And you wanted to keep it close to your heart."

He took the ring from her, detaching it from the chain and slipping it onto the ring finger of her left hand. The Gallifreyan heart stone glittered and shone like a tiny solar system on River's finger, and they both smiled as the Doctor kissed the back of her hand.

"Get your coat, love," said the Doctor with a grin. "Let me take you home."

River grabbed her jacket and handbag, and let him lead her by the hand out of Vixen's. They made their way out into the alleyway, and River gasped once she laid eyes on the TARDIS. The Doctor chuckled at her reaction, before opening the door and leading River inside.

"Oh wow," she laughed, looking around the cavernous console room. "It's deceptively huge in here. I'm kind of finding it weird that I'm not finding any of this weird..."

The Doctor beamed fondly at her, before pushing buttons and pulling levers until the TARDIS took off.

"It's funny though," River said quietly, stepping up to the console. "I can feel her... she's happy to see me. She missed me."

"Oh, she did," said the Doctor. "The old girl missed you just as much I did, love."

River smiled and patted the console, and the TARDIS hummed with satisfaction. The Doctor took River in his arms once more, kissing her forehead and holding her close. He never wanted to let her go. He was going to do everything he could to remind River exactly who she was, and he promised himself he would never lose her again.

Not until he knew he had to.

Not until he had no choice but to say goodbye to his love, his wife, his River Song.

Hope you enjoyed, Humble Readers.

If you did, the only way I'll know for sure is if you review me. Just throwing it out there.

xxx