Jack had landed himself in many a strange situation. It was something of a specialty; an art really. It came with the territory of having a vortex manipulator that had been fixed by a very distracted half human half TARDIS who had been a bit more concerned with a rather large snake that had been slithering toward them and dripping acid from its fangs. Oh, to relive the simple days.

But this time, Jack rather disliked his odds. Or, really, he disliked the thought of having to swim for the next few weeks, because of course he'd gone and landed himself on a pirate ship out in the middle of the Caribbean. And judging by the ring of cutlasses he'd found himself in the middle of, he'd be swimming while full of holes. Was it shark season? Did sharks have a season? He wondered what it would be like to come back to life after being ripped apart by sharks. Now that was an experience he wasn't looking forward to.

"Hiya fellas," he called with his most charming grin, attempting to push one of the blades away and nearly severing his finger in the process. "Captain Jack Harkness, at your service." He made eye contact with a particularly tattooed and angry looking pirate. "And I would certainly love to be at your service," he added with a wink. The pirate didn't so much as blink. So much for that.

"There's a time and a place, dear." Jack spun on the spot (and ripped his clothes on several cutlasses that were far too close) at the sound of the very last voice he expected in that moment."R-" he started, but was abruptly cut off.

"Yes, it is I, Calypso. So good to see you, Posiden." Rose glared at him as she spoke over him.

Jack blinked. "Now you've really lost me."

Rose ignored him and motioned for the pirates to lower their weapons. Which they did with surprising deference. "Posiden and I will be in my chambers. Hold the course, notify me of any changes at once." There was a chorus of "Yes Capt'n"'s as the pirates -who suddenly seemed much less like fierce warriors and much more like obedient school children-scurried about the ship. "With me," Rose ordered, turning on her heel and leading the way to a cabin on the aft deck. Bemused, Jack followed along, and took the moment to admire the way Rose's tight breaches accentuated her bum.

"Pirate Captain's a good look for you, Rosie," He murmured as he slipped past her into the Captain's cabin. Rose snorted and shut the door before promptly launching herself at him in a hug. Jack grinned broadly as he lifted her and swung her around the room.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Rose asked when Jack finally set her down, hitting him on the chest for emphasis.

"Well, I was aiming for something a bit closer to Queen Elizabeth, but someone never properly calibrated the navigation systems in my Vortex Manipulator. I think the real question here, though, is what are you doing here, why are you captain of a pirate ship, why do said pirates think you're a Greek Goddess, and why did you decide to call me Posiden?" Jack paused for a minute. "Will there ever be a time when you don't raise so many questions?"

"Gods, I hope not. Things would get boring then, don't you think?" Rose grinned before turning and flopping into an armchair that had been bolted to the ground. "Let's see...I set my own manipulator to random and appeared pretty much the same way you did. Gave those pirates a right good scare, too. They were used to it by the time you showed up. They were all for stabbing me and tossing me over board, bad luck to have a woman on a ship, apparently." She wrinkled her nose. "I just sort of went with the first thing I could think of, which just so happened to be Calypso. I did the glowing eyes trick, and next thing you know, they've made me captain! How's that for undermining the patriarchy?" She grinned.

Jack snorted and perched on the edge of her bed. "Leave it to you to proclaim yourself a goddess. This is what, the fifth time?"

"In my defense, three of those times other people decided I was a goddess. I just went with it so that they wouldn't kill us."

"You are so full of shit."

"Probably. But it's more fun this way."

Jack shook his head with a smile. "That's debatable. So? Why am I Posiden?"

Rose shrugged, and started pulling on a stray thread in her chair. "I didn't really expect you to just show up, so I just went with the first thing I thought of. These pirates really only have a passing knowledge of Greek mythology; all they really know is that Calypso and Posiden are ocean related. I figured we could play it off like we were siblings."

"What, not lovers?" Jack asked, wiggling his eyebrows and launching Rose into a fit of giggles.

"Not on your life, Captain Cheesecake!"

Jack sobered at Rickey's nickname for him. "When are you?"

Rose's smile faded. "Last time I saw you was at the Crucible."

Jack nodded slowly. "We wondered where you disappeared to. You wouldn't ever talk about it, of course. You've always liked your secrets."

Rose shifted. "You've met a future me then? When are you, exactly?"

"After Manhattan."

Rose flinched. "You know everything, then."

Jack snorted, breaking the somber mood. "With you involved, I don't think anyone can claim to know everything."

"But you've been beyond the circle, Jack!" Rose stood and started pacing.

"The circle?"

Rose gestured impatiently. "Circular paradox. My whole life has been one big circle. A cycle. You've seen what comes after the loop is closed." She paused. "Or, wait. Is it actually a circular paradox? Does future me being found in the basement by the past Doctor lead to the future Doctor being there when past me is born?" She shook her head. "Haven't reached the end yet, who knows?" She muttered and resumed pacing. She stopped. Started. Stared out a porthole before rounding on Jack. "You know!" Jack raised an eyebrow. "You've see how this whole thing plays out!" She knelt in front of Jack and grabbed his hand in both of hers, squeezing it desperately. "How does it end, Jack? Am I happy? Is he happy? Do I go back to him after...after..."

Donna. She couldn't say it. She'd killed Donna. Or, the woman Donna had become, anyway. The brilliant, self-assured savior of all the universes. Rose had taken the woman who was able to do all that, and reverted her back to the loud mouthed but self-conscious woman from Chiswick who didn't dream of more.

"Stop that." Jack ordered, pulling his hand free only to cup Rose's face so that she was forced to look at him. "I can see what you're doing. Mourning Donna's loss. But she's still alive, Rose." She tried to shake her head, but Jack held her still. "Yes, she lost her memories. And in that loss she lost the person she'd become. But she can be that person again, Rose. What do you think it was that made Donna who she was?"

"The Doctor," Rose answered immediately. Traveling with the Doctor was what had allowed Donna to discover her potential, to bloom into the woman Rose had so admired for the brief time she knew her.

Jack shook his head impatiently. "That's the problem with you people that travel with the Doctor for too long; you all think he'some sort of God." Jack let go of Rose's face to pull her up onto the bed next to him. "The Doctor served as a catalyst, I'll give him that. But Donna was always capable of becoming that woman. She still is. It might take her a little longer, but I haven't met a person yet who could stand in that woman's way. Jack grinned. "She'll be just fine, Rose. She'll get tired of Chiswick and venture out on her own. And she'll get addicted to it. She'll travel and meet people and maybe even fall in love. It's a normal life, sure, but not any less worth living just because it's not the one she could have had."

Rose wiped her suddenly moist eyes, but refused to cry. "The Daleks, then. I committed genocide. He'd never forgive me for that."

Jack snorted, and ignored Rose's glare. "That man would forgive you even if you destroyed an entire universe."

"How would he forgive me if I destroyed the universe? We'd both be dead."

"Shut up and let me talk." Jack took her hands, much more gently than she'd taken his moments ago. "If the Doctor seemed angry, it was because he saw himself in you. You know as well as I do that he's never forgiven himself for the Time War. You also know just as well as I do that there was no way out of the crucible that didn't involve killing every last one of those Daleks. Daleks aren't exactly the kind to admit defeat and retreat. It was the Daleks or the universe, and you chose the universe.

"That's the sort of thinking that could give me permission to commit genocide every time there's a life or death situation, though," Rose whispered. She was afraid, so afraid of her own capabilities for violence. Hadn't the first few years of her life in this body been spent honing her skills, turning herself into a weapon? Hadn't she held the desire to kill in her heart every time she was faced with the Slitheen or any other creature that wanted to destroy Earth, her home? She was a monster. A monster with a conscious -and a flimsy one at that- and that was the only thing keeping her from going on a rampage every time her temper got even slightly out of hand.

"And that's the sort of thinking that keeps you in check." Jack's voice cut across her thoughts and drew her eyes back to his face. "You're very powerful Rose. There's no point in pretending otherwise. And yeah, you've had a few rough patches, but you're conscious of them. You don't repeat your mistakes, and you do everything you can to make sure as many people as possible get to live. And that's no small thing."

Rose sniffled, and launched herself into Jack's arms once more. "How do you always do that?" She muttered into his neck.

"Do what?" Jack asked, subtly feeling Rose's coat to see if it were real leather and wondering if she'd be willing to trade with him. Just for a little bit.

"Show up exactly when I need you to with some sort of speech about how I'm not a monster."

"Oh, that," he shrugged and pulled back from her. "Mostly luck. Or, possibly, the same blonde who never recalibrated my manipulator also programmed it to key in on her own timeline." Rose blinked at him. "No? Really? Wow. Then yeah. Pure luck. Huh."

Rose shook her head and stood, walking over to a cabinet. She pulled out a dark bottle and two tumblers, pouring a measure of the dark liquid into each before returning to Jack.

"Rum? On a pirate ship? Realy?"

Rose shrugged and grinned. "When in Rome." She raised her glass in toast before taking a sip.

"So how long has it been for you? Since the Crucible?" Jack asked after he'd drained his glass.

Rose leaned back against the wall, letting her legs dangle off the bed. "Two years, seven months, six days, and three hours. Want the minutes and seconds, too?"

"Three years?" Jack demanded.

Rose frowned. "Only if you round up. Which, frankly, I think it just cheating."

"Rose, you've been hiding from the Doctor for three years."

"I lived without him for almost a hundred. It's all about perspective, Jack."

"Rose."

She huffed. "Alright, yes, fine. I am a wimp and a coward. I'm sorry. Feel better?"

"Not really," Jack grumbled, stealing Rose's glass and finishing it despite her protests. "You have to go back to him, Rosie. Now."

"I can't right now," Rose grumbled as she got up to refill her glass. "Stop glaring at me," she added without turning around. "I really can't. I didn't stay with the pirates for the free booze, though," she added over her shoulder, "that certainly helps. When I showed up, they were heading for Singapore but they're supposed to be closer to Antigua. Fixed point."

Jack stared at her as she made her way back to the bed. "Africa's in the way."

"What?"

"That is a long damn trip because Africa is in the way."

"I'm aware of that. I've been here for months. How much have you had to drink?"

"You couldn't just set them on the right course, pull the Greek goddess act, and then zap out? Why the hell would you stay here for months on end? That is literally the equivalent of someone on a road trip to California stopping in New York and asking for directions and you just going 'Oh, move over, I'll drive!'"

"You know you're not actually American, right?"

"Rose!"

"Okay, okay, point taken. They're almost there, anyway," she grumbled into her drink.

They sat in silence for a moment, listening to the sounds of the ship above them and nursing their drinks before Jack broke the silence. "Sometimes I think we take the 'close as siblings' thing too far."

Rose snorted. "Probably."

When Rose told the pirates that she had to return to Mount Olympus (Which Calypso didn't even live on, but at least they recognized the name) they seemed somewhat relieved. Rose tried not to take it personally. She imagined living with a Goddess who may have once or twice threatened them with the wrath of Hades wore thin on the nerves.

Nothing like a talk with Jack to remind her that while she may not be a monster, she also probably shouldn't be given any more power than she already has.

The plan was to tell the pirates that she was leaving and then just zap out with the manipulator. It was supposed to be short, sweet, and involve as little cutlass action as possible. The plan did not, in anyway shape or form, involve what appeared to be a sea serpent suddenly appearing off the starboard side of the ship and promptly attempting to drown them all.

So, of course, a sea serpent appeared right before Rose could enter the coordinates.

It wasn't actually a sea serpent. Well. It was, it just wasn't native to Earth. Apparently it had been part of an experiment led by the Plynth people of Zlosk back in the Jurassic period. Earth hadn't come under the protection of the Shadow Proclamation yet, due to a lack of beings capable of higher thought, and so the experiment had been sanctioned. The idea was to see how Earth's different gravity and atmospherical make up would affect animals native to Zlosk. The answer for most of those animals was that it killed them. But for the sea serpent more commonly known as a Chilt Fish, it apparently greatly lengthened their life span. And their size.

But Rose didn't know that at the time. At the time her only thought was "This is exactly my luck." She grabbed a cutlass off a nearby pirate and screamed a war cry that startled Jack and launched herself towards the tail that was currently in the process of destroying the staysails.

While they may not have been her biggest fans and had mostly obeyed her out of fear, Rose's pirate horde quickly followed her into the fray, echoing their own battle cries, most of which consisted "Eat my blade, you great slimy bastard!" or some variation thereof.

Rose landed the first hit, cutting a large gash into the tail of the beast, causing it to scream and begin attacking with its head as well. All in all, not the best plan; it did make it a bit easier to kill it, though.

The pirates fell on the serpent like a disturbed ant mound, hacking and cutting at the creature that was attempting to rip their ship in two. Rose wove in and out of them, striking the serpent wherever it seemed vulnerable and coating herself in its yellow blood. She worked her way up the body, stabbing along in the hopes of finding a vital organ, but far too unfamiliar with the creature's biology to be precise. Near the head, she found Jack, working with a group of three pirates who were taking turns cutting and dodging in an attempt to hack off the beast's head.

"Not what you had in mind for your farewell, is it?" Jack called as he dove out of the way of the swinging head of the enraged beast.

"Not at all!" Rose answered, slicing her blade through the ever widening gash on the back of the serpent's neck. "Still, somehow I'm not surprised."

"You would manage to find a Chilt in an Earth ocean!"

"Oh, is that what this is?" The creature lifted its head in a pained roar and Rose dove beneath it, raking her blade along the underside of its neck before leaping to her feet again. "What the bloody hell is it doing here?"

"I'm more concerned with why it's fifty times larger than normal, myself."

The Chilt began to slow as the blood loss caught up to it. Sensing the coming victory, the pirates renewed their attack, hacking and cutting with a vigor that started to worry Rose a bit. Finally, the Chilt let out one last cry before slumping to the deck, and then slipping off and back into the ocean.

"Remind me to pick up the body before some archaeologist finds it," Rose muttered to Jack as they watched the sinking corpse disappear into the shadowy waters. She turned to face her cheering pirate crew. "Want to slip out while they're not paying attention?"

"Please. I need a shower, and I'd prefer it to be one with hot water and a brunette."

Rose grabbed Jack's hand and pressed the button on her vortex manipulator. Seconds and centuries later, they appeared in her flat back in London. "Home, sweet home," Rose murmured. She shook her head and looked at Jack. "You know where the towels are?"

"Yeah," Jack called, already bee lining for her guest bathroom. Rose couldn't blame him. They smelled like rotten sushi.

As Rose went about the process of washing and conditioning her hair –a vital necessity, given that she'd spent the last few months on a ship with no running water—the anxiety about returning to the Doctor began to set in.

Jack seemed so sure the Doctor would welcome her back with open arms, but what if Jack were wrong? It had been known to happen. Rose wasn't sure she could handle it if she returned to the Doctor and he called her every name she'd called herself in her head. That sort of confirmation of her worst fears, and from the man she loved…

The man she loved. And who, she suspected, loved her back. He'd started to say something on that beach when she'd been trapped. She hadn't let him finish at the time, but now she would. If he still wanted to say the words. She hoped he still wanted to say them. She desperately wanted to hear them.

"Be brave," Rose whispered to the tile of her shower. "Be brave."

When she finally made her way out of the shower and into her living room, she found Jack waiting. "You never did answer my questions about the future," Rose pointed out.

Jack grinned lazily. "Spoilers. Now go."

Rose raised an eyebrow. "Have you taken over my flat?"

Jack shrugged. "Got tired of sleeping in the office."

"Which is Wales," Rose pointed out. Jack waived his manipulator clad wrist at her. "That's an abuse of power I fully intend to remedy," Rose paused. "Some other time. Don't leave rings on the coffee table." She heard the sound of Jack's laughter as she used the manipulator to lock onto the TARDIS' signal and phase out of her living room.

When she landed, she heard alarms. "What the bloody—" Rose cut herself off when she heard what sounded like the Doctor yelling. Without a thought, she took off running towards the sound, her heart racing with an anxiety entirely different than the one she'd experienced in the shower.

It was a short run; she'd only landed just down the hall from the room the Doctor was in. Inside was a mess of papers and lab equipment. The Doctor was bent in half over a metal table, his eyes squeezed shut as if in pain. Against a wall were two glass chambers that contained computer equipment and—

"Wilf?" Rose whispered in confusion, recognizing Donna's grandfather from the Dalek invasion. Wilf turned sad eyes on her, and the Doctor turned so fast he almost lost his balance. His eyes were wide and wild—never a good sign.

"Rose," he breathed, and all worries Rose had had about his reception of her vanished with that one syllable. A new host of worries rose in their place; the Doctor never said her name with that much desperation unless either he or she were about to die. And Rose was having none of that right now.

"What's happening?" She asked brusquely. There was a way to fix this. Whatever it was. She just had to find it.

The Doctor was still staring at her with a cross between reverence and disbelief. Rose shifted with embarrassment and looked at Wilf. "Radiation is going to flood this chamber in a few minutes, and the only way out is for someone to press the button in the other chamber. But that would lock them in with the radiation." Wilf turned those sad eyes back on the Doctor. "Just let me die, Doctor. I'm old, the world still needs you."

The Doctor jerked his eyes away from Rose and back to Wilf. "And I told you no." His voice was so quiet, so defeated….it broke Rose's heart. She looked at the mess in the room again. The Doctor had already raged against this, fought what he thought was his inevitable death. And now he'd accepted it. Rose didn't know which was worse; the idea of him fighting it, or the idea of him accepting it.

"I'll go," Rose found herself saying. The Doctor looked surprised, and even Rose was surprised at the offer for a moment before she realized that yes, she had meant to say that. Rose looked at the Doctor. "I'll go," she repeated.

"Rose, you can't," the Doctor said earnestly, desperately, stepping towards her. "You'll die."

Rose smiled. "Maybe not. Haven't tried it yet. Might have a bit of Jack in me, who knows?" The Doctor started to protest again, but Rose shushed him. "You're not done yet. This body isn't done yet. And you're going through them far too quickly. Let me do this. I can atone. For Donna, for the Daleks…for all of it. So much that you don't even know." Rose blinked, hard, and nodded resolutely. "I'm doing this."

She turned and marched with purpose towards the other chamber. Her hand was on the handle when she felt the Doctor's hand on her arm. "Rose," the Doctor whispered, the sound hoarse, before he pulled her around and planted his lips squarely on hers.

A goodbye kiss hadn't been what she'd had in mind, and the countdown informed them they had only seconds, but Rose decided if this might be all she would ever get, then god, she would take it. Her hand slipped from the handle to pull the Doctor's head more firmly to hers. It wasn't tender. It wasn't loving. It was desperate. It was needy.

And in the end, it worked.

Rose didn't notice as the Doctor slowly shifted her to the side. She didn't notice when he took one hand from her side and reached out with it. She didn't realize what he was doing until it was too late.

The Doctor pulled away. "I'm sorry," he whispered when his lips were still close enough to brush hers.

"What?" Rose asked, opening her eyes in just enough time to see the Doctor step into the second radiation chamber and pull it closed. Wilf's door sprung open and a thick cloud sprayed into the Doctor's. "No, dammit!" Rose yelled, dangerously close to sobbing. She banged on the door to the Doctor's chamber. "You weren't supposed to die for me! Not again!"

The Doctor smiled and rested his hand against the glass where her fist still rested. "Gladly," his muffled voice reached her through the glass. Then his face contorted in pain and he gasped, falling to the side.

"Doctor? Doctor!" Rose yelled, falling to her knees and leaning against the glass, straining to be closer to him. The Doctor groaned, but made no other answer. Rose continued to bang on the glass as if that would somehow help. Finally, finally, the radiation stopped pouring in, and the door to the chamber opened. Rose was at the Doctor's side in an instant. "Doctor?" Rose whispered, resting a tentative hand on his shoulder.

The Doctor groaned and rolled over to face her. "Hello," he said, and grinned.

Rose growled. Like an animal. She hadn't been aware she could make that noise. "You bloody idiot!" She howled, beating on his chest much like she'd been beating on the door just moments ago. "I can't believe you tricked me like that, you, you, you…!" She couldn't think of a bad enough word, so she settled for hitting him again.

The Doctor caught her hand (the last time; the first few times he flinched and cowered like the coward he was) and pulled her down so he could kiss her again. Rose managed to hang onto her anger for a moment longer before allowing herself to collapse in relief against his bony frame. He'd made it. The damn idiot had survived in spite of…Rose paused and pulled back, tasting something different on his lips than she had before. The cuts that had been on his face just moments before were healed.

"Oh," she whispered, stroking the healed skin. The Doctor frowned in confusion, then looked at his own hand. There was a slight golden sheen to it.

"Oh," he answered, his voice thick with dread and defeat.

They were quiet for a moment. "We should go, before…before." Rose whispered, more to herself than to the Doctor. She stood, and pulled him to his feet, only then remembering Wilf.

"Is he alright?" The old man asked.

"Not as such, no," Rose answered. The Doctor gripped Wilf's shoulder with a pained smile before leaving the room. "But he will be."

This update is I don't even know how late. Have I even posted an update in 2015? I don't even know. I am so sorry. This chapter is a weird conglomeration of fluff and crack and dark. And I'm betting this wasn't what a lot of you had in mind for the Doctor and Rose's first kiss. But this has been in my head since I started this story, so it's nice to finally get it on paper, er, screen.

I can't promise a more regular update schedule, so I won't even try. I'm in the process of applying for grad school which is sucking all my (non-existent) creative mojo at the moment. This was an attempt to break the writer's block.

For all of you who left reviews that I never responded to, I am so, so incredibly sorry. I'm a terrible person. But I love each and every one of you, and your comments made my day! Thanks also to everyone who followed and favorited. Every time someone does something to this story that makes this website send me an email, I remember that I really need to update sometime soon. So, I mean, if that works as a motivator for you…

Until next time!