Chapter 4: Ahoy, Matey!

"This is secret and you can't tell anyone, but Haruhi is actually a girl."

All eyes in the room locked on Edward, waiting to see his reaction to the Host Club's biggest secret.

For several seconds, Ed didn't react. He just stood there, staring at Tamaki, then at Haruhi. Finally, he crossed his arms and gave Tamaki a disbelieving look. "Is this some kind of joke? It's a really lame one, if it is."

"What? I'm being serious!" Tamaki exclaimed.

"Yes, he is. I'm a girl." Haruhi added.

Ed again stared at Haruhi, and the longer he looked, the wider his eyes grew as he began to picture her as a girl. If he imagined her with longer hair and in a dress, it looked believable!

"You're seriously a…." He trailed off, gaping at her. Haruhi offered a simple nod.

"Then why do you look like a guy!?" Ed exclaimed.

Haruhi explained, "When I met the Host Club on my first day at Ouran Academy, I accidently broke an expensive vase. I don't have the money to pay for it, so I joined as a host, pretending to be a boy, so I could pay off my debt."

Ed ran his fingers through his bangs, pushing them up against his head before letting them drop back down over his face while letting out a big breath. "Wow…" he said, still shocked. "I would have never guessed."

"That's a good thing." Kyoya said, "If someone did guess and the word got out, Haruhi would have to think of some other way to pay off her debt."

"I hope someone guesses!" Tamaki cried. "Just look how cute she is, dressed like a girl!" All of the sudden, the Host Club leader pulled out a picture of Haruhi dressed in a girl's school uniform with long hair and enthusiastically shoved it in Ed's face.

"Um, yeah, I guess," Ed said awkwardly, surprised by the photo being suddenly inches from his nose.

Haruhi snatched the photo quickly. "How many time have I told you, stop carrying around old pictures of me!"

"But you looked so cute…" Tamaki said, looking like a kicked puppy.

Haruhi gave him a death glare and Tamaki wisely shut his mouth, hiding behind Ed with a little whimper.

His pathetic expression quickly vanished from his face as he suddenly remembered something and changed the topic completely.

"Edward, I almost forgot something again! Tomorrow is Theme Day!" Tamaki shouted, running around in front of Ed and grabbing him excitedly by the shoulders.

Oh no, this didn't sound good. "What's that?" Ed asked, dreading the answer.

"The first Friday of every month we have a Theme Day and we all dress up and decorate the room to a certain theme and it's so much fun!" Tamaki gushed happily.

"We're gonna be pirates!" Hunny cheered.

"Pirates?" Edward said.

"Yes!" Tamaki shouted. "I've even picked out a costume for you and everything!" He dashed to the other side of the room, grabbed something from a box and was back in seconds. He held up a pirate costume, complete with an eye patch and bandana.

"Oh, you're just going to look so cute!" he continued, holding up the costume to Ed.

"We should take his robot leg off and give him a peg leg instead!" Hunny gleefully suggested.

"No way! Absolutely not!" Ed yelled, shoving the costume away. "There's no way I'll ever wear something so ridiculous! And I'm definitely not having a peg leg!"

"Oh come on, Ed! You'll look great and the girls will love it!" Tamaki said.

"No! I won't do it!" Ed shouted.

"It won't be so bad!" said Hunny.

"I said no! I'll look stupid!"

"You won't look stupid, you'll be a cute little pirate!" Tamaki said.

"I'm not cute, and I'm not a microscopic little bean!"

Kyoya shook his head as Edward continued to scream and Hunny and Tamaki tried to convince him to wear the outfit. "He's so immature…"

"Well, what do you expect? He is the youngest after all." Hikaru stated.

Kaoru nodded in agreement, "The baby of the Host Club,"

This caught Edward's attention and, for the time being, stopped his shouting. "The baby? What do you mean? Hunny's the youngest, not me!"

"No, actually," Haruhi informed, "he's the oldest. Hunny is eighteen."

For the second time that day, Ed learned something surprising about the hosts and was stunned into silence. His head then snapped to Hunny and he marched over to him and stood right in front of him.

"You're eighteen?" he asked after a moment. Hunny nodded.

A huge smile lit up Ed's entire face. "Really?" He asked eagerly, and received another nod from Hunny.

"Yes! I'm taller than someone's who's older than me!" Ed cheered, throwing his hands up and grinning ear-to-ear.

"So... does this mean you're admitting that you're short?" Kaoru asked with a mischievous grin.

"No," Ed said, dropping his arms to his sides and glaring at the identical boys. "everyone else is just usually tall. I'm average-sized,"

"Sure, just go ahead and think that." Hikaru said.

Before Ed had a chance to blow up and attack the twins, Tamaki popped up in front of him, pirate costume in his hands. "So, about that costume?"

"No!"

It took nearly an hour, but Edward finally gave in to the pirate costume. Tired and angry and wanting to go home, he grudgingly agreed to wear it.

Edward stepped into his house, and immediately made his way into the kitchen, seeking out something to snack on. He met Roy in the kitchen, who was sitting at the table, drinking a mug of coffee and reading a book.

"Ahoy, Matey." the colonel greeted casually. He grinned slyly at the teenager over the rim of his book and Ed instantly knew he'd been listening in through the earpiece earlier.

"Shut up, Princess Toes." He shot back with a glower. Roy glared back at the reminder that his toes were still painted light blue.

"You're going to tell me how to get it off."

"No, I'm not." Ed replied, taking a box of cookies from the pantry. "I'm also not wearing the earpiece tomorrow."

"Oh, yes you are. I'm ordering you to wear the earpiece." Roy said in a commanding voice.

"I won't wear it unless you promise not to listen in." Edward said.

Roy shook his head. "I'm not promising that. It's important that I listen to obtain information."

"I can 'obtain information' just fine myself." Ed insisted, digging a hand into the cookie box.

"Alright then," Roy said, "We'll make a deal. You help me get this nail polish off, and I'll stop listening in while you're at school. You must tell me everything that happens, though, even if you think it's not important."

"Well, Hawkeye and I will miss your pretty blue toes… but okay, deal." Ed removed his hand from the box, wiped the crumbs off on his pants, then held out his hand to shake on it. "Go to the store and look for this special nail polish remover stuff."

"They have that?"

"Hawkeye said so," Ed told him with a nod.

"Good, I can trust her." Roy replied, standing from the table and heading for the front door.

"Aww, that hurts my feelings, Mustang." Edward whined in mock hurt.

Roy looked over his shoulder from the front door, car keys in hand. "Good."

Author's Note:

Most of you probably want to kill me now. I'm sooo sorry this took forever! I haven't updated since September. Around that time I was super busy with the start of school, the passing of a great grandparent, and musical theatre auditions. But all the practice for theatre auditions paid off, I got the lead, even though I auditioned with a cold! Proud of meself :D Down side of that though is that I have a lot less time now, I practice and go to rehearsals a lot.

Anyways, due to a mix of writing block, no free time, and a One Direction obsession, I haven't gotten around to writing for a long time. Honestly, I'm not sure if I'll continue this, or if I do, I may never finish it. :( I'm sorry! I'm just not that interested in it anymore, and tbh, I just think it's crappy, like it's embarrassing for me to look at.

So yeah, I wrote this like four months ago. And it's super short, like a third of the length of the previous chapters (if that). But if I ever start this up again this is probably what you'll get, shorter chapters like this.

Well anyway, for those of you who have recently found this story and old fans who were still waiting for an update, I hope you enjoyed this little chapter! Even though I don't like it haha XD