i don't ever want to feel like i did that day

Under the bridge downtown

Is where I drew some blood

Under the bridge downtown

I could not get away

Under the bridge downtown

Forgot about my love

Under the bridge downtown

I gave my life away

There was too much Annabeth wanted to say, too many emotions she wanted to express, but there were simply not enough or efficient words in any languages of the world. She was rendered speechless. Her heart caved, her lungs seemed to collapse on themselves. Her knees gave out from under her and she had to grasp one of the plastic, cold hospital chairs. She carefully eased herself into the chair, her flooding eyes glued to the fragile man in the bed in front of her.

Her strong, beautiful, caring, loving, perfect boyfriend lay like a corpse in a bed of white. She had never seen him… never thought he could ever look so broken. He was a soldier and survivor; he was supposed to be ok. It wasn't supposed to be like this, Annabeth wanted to scream. Give him back! Please!

His tanned skin was stark white; he almost looked a little blue. His veins stood out, mocking her. The blood was still pumping in his veins, but he wasn't here. He was hidden far away in the dark corners of his mind. Tucked away into the place where his mind would keep him safe, where the voices echoed of death and temptation. She didn't want him alone with those devils in his skull, but they held him prisoner.

Clumps of his hair had fallen out, his cheeks were hollow and his lips were blue. He was a ghost. She desperately tried to get their conversation out of her head,

Promise me?

Promise.

He had broken his promise, but she had been the one to scare him away. When suddenly she was the one he was running from instead of running to her. Suicide was suddenly an escape from not only life, but from her too.

If he ever woke up, Annabeth wondered if he'd still want her around. She wondered if he'd still want to stick around. Or would waking up to see her, only make him want to die even more, make him even more desperate to get away.

She didn't think she could take it.

Annabeth had watched in slow fascination as Nico, Bianca, Thalia, Grover, Reyna, Piper, Leo, Jason, and Hazel all came to visit. Nico had stood like a statue in the corner, but Annabeth could see the wetness on his cheeks. Thalia was going through mood swings, sometimes she was angry with herself, or her friends, or Annabeth or Percy, as he lay unmoving. Or maybe she was crying, begging Percy to wake up and forgive her for leaving him. And sometimes she just stared. Bianca cried almost always, she couldn't bear to see the boy she once loved dying, again. Reyna was angry with herself for turning away from him, and angry that she hadn't let him know how she felt before all this had happened. Piper was a sobbing mess and Jason was her only comfort, seeing as Leo was a crying mess as well. Grover wasn't any better either. Hazel was the only strong one, maybe it was because she and Percy had already solved all their problems, and if he died, he could remember her in a good way.

Annabeth had met Ms. Jackson, a frail, beautiful woman, who's eyes changed color and her long curly brown hair fell in waves around her. She had cried and cried until she fell asleep and Jason and Nico had to take her out of the room. Annabeth would never forget the sound of a mother's heartbreak, begging her son to come back, begging her son to forgive her, begging him to open his eyes one last time, to come home where she could fix up his room and make him cookies and rent him movies. Where she could be the mother she had stopped being when he needed her more than ever.

The girl who loved both Percy and Luke showed. None of Annabeth's friends where there, so Annabeth hadn't known as she watched in jealousy as the beautiful caramel haired girl entered the room like a ghost and pressed a loving kiss to his lips. She ran a hand down his face and through his hair and kissed him again, tears tumbling from her eyes. Annabeth almost got up to rip her away from her Percy, but the girl had just noticed Annabeth was there.

"I'm Calypso." She had said. Annabeth only glared at the model-like girl. She had blushed and reached over to kiss her Percy again before she left and didn't come back. For that Annabeth was glad, because she was done seeing unfairly gorgeous girls kiss the boy she loved.

Annabeth was struggling to pull through school; Percy's haunting eyes were always glued to the back of her eyelids. His voice ran through her mind, the smell of him lingered everywhere. She could almost taste him in her dreams, the feeling of his lips against her own, the caressing of his hands as they touched her all over, claiming her as his own. She'd wake up in the morning, panting and sweating, almost believing that Percy had been there at the night and he had made sweet, fiery love to her. And then she'd burst into tears as the crushing reality settled back in: Percy was in the hospital. Percy was in a coma. Percy had attempted suicide.

Some nights she'd dream of him on the bridge. Staring down at the churning, black water, calling to him, begging him to give into temptation and just jump, ending his life for good. She could see his shaking, scared body on the edge, his eyes wide with fear and tears cascading down his shallow cheeks. She could see him hesitate; thinking his last thoughts, running over the words the two had spoken of promises and suicide. She could see him almost turn around, until something in his mind would make him freeze. And then the shaking, the fear, and the tears would just stop as he stared at the water differently. She watched as he straightened up and closed his eyes before tipping forward and letting his body come crashing towards the unforgiving waters below. Annabeth screamed each time, begging him to turn away from the edge, screaming and crying as his body toppled, her heart bursting as the sound of his body hit the water, the dream fading as his body slowly slipped away into the water, the last of his hoodie disappearing from sight, forever.

She passed out in her math exam from exhaustion.

One day Ms. Jackson approached her at the hospital. Annabeth smiled kindly at the older woman. "You were there for Percy in his last months right?" Annabeth winced, hating the way Ms. Jackson talked about him, as if he had already passed. The small blonde nodded anyways.

"Yes… We were dating actually." Ms. Jackson only nodded.

"Would you… would you like to come and see his room?" Ms. Jackson fiddled with her shirt. "I have some old photos and home-videos…" Annabeth smiled warmly, the first genuine smile in a long time.

"I would like that a lot, actually."

"I had thought I was doing the right thing, by marrying Gabe. Gabe was vile, but he had money and Percy deserved everything in the world in my eyes." Percy's mom explained in her kitchen. She was bustling around, making cookies while Annabeth sat on the counter and listened to Ms. Jackson and the music in the background. "So I sacrificed a lot for Percy, but in the end I only made things worse." A small tear trickled down her face.

"Gabe was horrible to me, but I had thought that he was only abusing me… It wasn't until Percy had long since left the house did Gabe drunkenly admit to hurting Percy. But by then, Percy was long gone." Sally placed the try into the oven. "I divorced him soon after. I tried to get a hold of Percy, but no one seemed to know where he was. He hardly showed up for school, his friends weren't talking to him, he dropped sports and music, and he had just vanished.

"The only times I would hear of him was when I was working at the café on the corner by the record store. Girls would come in and rave about him or sometimes they would cry over him. I felt horrible and I didn't really know why. Maybe it was because I chased Percy away and now he was breaking hearts left and right? Or maybe I just hadn't raised him well enough. There was so much and I wanted to apologize to those girls but I also wanted to ask them were he was."

"He lived in his car." Annabeth supplied. "He just drove around and if he didn't want to sleep in the car he was hooking up with girls to have a place to stay." Both women cringed. It was silent for a while, only broken by the beeping of the oven and the delicious smell of cookies. Ms. Jackson gave her a watery smile.

"He loved my cookies. I swear he could smell them from a mile away, no matter what had happened previously that day, his face would light up like the fourth of July when I baked him cookies." She gave a loud laugh that cracked at the end and rubbed her eyes. "We would blast some album of some band he was into at the moment and laugh and eat cookies and he would tell me about his day." Annabeth smiled fondly, she could just imagine Percy stuffing his face with blue cookies and laughing with his mom, his face glowing. It broke her heart.

Ms. Jackson seemed to be struggling to keep herself together and Annabeth's heart plummeted even more. Ms. Jackson didn't deserve anything that had happened to her, and Percy, her beautiful, selfless, idiotic Percy, had done what he thought was best.

"His favorite movie as a kid was the Lion King and the two of us would stay up and eat and—and—" Sally's voice cracked and stuttered to a stop as more tears leaked from her eyes. Sally didn't know how she was supposed to keep moving on with her life, first her parents, then her husband and now her precious son… Was she really that horrible of a wife, of a mother, of a person, that they had to kill themselves to get away? Why couldn't they love her enough to stay for once?

Annabeth was sure that if she pulled through, there were going to be two images forever engraved into her brain, one of Percy's empty body in the hospital, and the other of a strong, loving mother break. She moved silently from her spot and wrapped her skinny arms around Sally's broken body, her own tears joining in as the two women who loved Percy most gave in. Fragile music muffled the sound of their sobs from neighbors, the lyrics pouring salt in their wounds.

You are calm and reposed
Let your beauty unfold
Pale white, like the skin stretched over your bones
Spring keeps you ever close
You are second-hand smoke
You are so fragile and thin, standing trial for your sins
Holding on to yourself the best you can
You are the smell before rain
You are the blood in my veins

Annabeth awoke in Percy's stale room, the scent of cigarettes and ocean clung to the bed and Annabeth buried her nose into the sheets, allowing her mind to believe she was here with Percy, his bare body pressed against her protectively. His muscled arms would be around her slim frame tightly, his milky skin on hers, callused pads of his fingers would dance over her ribs, and his warm breath would caress the shell of her ear. He would nuzzle his nose into her neck and he would humble love into her flesh, tattooing her, scarring her.

She mewled distastefully as a lone tear slipped down her face. She needed him to come back, she needed to hold him and love him and keep him safe. Annabeth drew the blankets up to shield her face.

"Percy… come home… please…"

Thalia and Hazel came to visit Ms. Jackson and Annabeth, seeing as the blonde had become a permanent resident of the Jackson apartment. The Lion King seemed to always be on the TV and the music didn't stop. Ms. Jackson put all her pain into making cookies and pastries and so there seemed to be a nonstop stream of Percy's old friends took same home. Anything else that was left over was divided into two piles, the ones Ms. Jackson and Annabeth had to eat and the ones they save for Percy when he wakes up. That pile was getting steadily larger.

Annabeth was lounging on the Jackson's couch in one of Percy's flannel shirts that reached just above her knees and panties and socks. Thalia and Hazel shared a look before sitting down next to her, cookies in hand. The three didn't say anything but continued to stare at the screen as Simba lost his father. They didn't say anything to each other the entire night, just watched and rewatched and rewatched the movie until they all fell asleep, empty plates on the floors and tears straining their cheeks.

Four weeks had passed and Annabeth's schedule hadn't changed: get up, shower away the tears, dress herself, eat with Sally, go to school, avoid the new kid who couldn't take no for an answer, go to track practice, then to hospital and do her homework until dinner and then the cycle repeated.

However today was different, today was the day they talked about pulling the plug on Percy's life-support. Annabeth hadn't gone to school, instead went straight to the hospital with Ms. Jackson and talked with the doctors about what they should do. Annabeth didn't really talk, so much as yell at both the doctors and Sally. They couldn't pull the plug, Percy was going to wake up, and even if he hated Annabeth, he was going to live to see another day, she would make sure of it. The doctors treated her like a child, but Annabeth's anger was mostly directed at Percy's mom and her caretaker of the last month or so.

Annabeth had once wondered why Percy and his mom had had problems in the past, especially after all she and Sally had gone through together, but now Annabeth could understand Percy's frustration with her. Years and years of heartbreak had worn her away and taken away her will. She didn't want to continue to be hurt by the hope of Percy awakening and the disappointment when he spent another day comatose. She didn't have to will or the strength to push forward, even if it meant Percy might wake up.

It riled Annabeth up in ways she didn't think anything could. Annabeth was not going to lose the love of her life to a woman who selfishly wanted to dull the pain. Percy wasn't going to lose his one shot at a second chance to his mother. Annabeth wouldn't allow that to happen.

But the real question was… was Sally being selfish? Or was she…?

"Two weeks." The doctor conceded softly. "We'll give him two weeks to pull through, if he does not, we will be forced to stop the life support." He gave Annabeth a stern look. "No amount of tears and fighting will grant you anymore time." Annabeth only rolled her eyes, unable to hide her joy. The doctor placed a comforting hand on Ms. Jackson's shoulder and gave her a sympathetic look.

"He might wake up, Ms. Jackson." The doctor left soon after. Annabeth was beaming, but Sally was numb. She didn't know what to think. Two weeks was a long time and it was two weeks of pain and disappointment.

The two women got home, the tension around them thick and threatened to strangle them. Annabeth was grateful for the two weeks, but she didn't know how to approach Sally about it. It seemed almost as if the older woman wasn't happy about the fact that her son might wake up. Ms. Jackson sat down at a stool at the kitchen table and stared blankly at the wall. Annabeth was about to go back upstairs when Ms. Jackson's voice stopped her.

"I'd appreciate it if you moved out, Annabeth."

Her bed didn't feel right. It didn't smell of Percy, the walls weren't covered in posters and there wasn't a guitar in the corner nor was there clothes flung on the floor. Fortunately, Ms. Jackson hadn't noticed when Annabeth snuck away two of her favorite Percy shirt and a sweatshirt or even the album that Percy treasured most. Annabeth knew she should've felt bad about taking the stuff, but she couldn't bring herself to, not after Ms. Jackson kicked her out and then proceeded to yell at her.

Her parents were happy to have her home, but she didn't really care. She wondered if Sally would be happy if Percy did come home, or would she blame him for everything? A downside to coming home was her parent's insisting on hooking her up with a more suitable boy, not some 'trashy, filthy, tattooed, suicidal man-whore'. Annabeth had locked herself in her room after that fight, no coaxing or bribes from her parents would get her to come out. It seemed as if the world didn't want Percy to wake up.

Annabeth was sitting in the library, alone like usual when suddenly Luke Castellan walked in. She hadn't seen him since the fight and the day Percy attempted. Annabeth hoped he didn't see her, but it was futile seeing as he was heading straight over to her.

Annabeth made an attempt to flee, but Luke grabbed her arm and glared at her. He towered over her, his face twisted into a nasty snarl.

"Your boy is a dead man." He threatened. "Whether they kill him or if he wakes up, I'll take care of him." Luke pushed his face into hers, capturing her lips in a heated, violent kiss. Annabeth squirmed and tried to shove him away. Luke bit her lip and she whimpered.

He smirked and roughly grabbed her chin. "I'll end him and get to taste you." He winked at her. "And that's a promise I'll die to keep."

The day before Percy's two weeks were up was one of weirdest, most fast-paced and shocking days in Annabeth's life. Percy woke up, however Ms. Jackson didn't tell her and she only found out when Thalia called her late that night asking her where the fuck she was.

"Thalia, what is going on?" Annabeth yelled into the phone.

"Percy woke up!" Annabeth's world stopped. She was thankful she was sitting because her legs would've given out. Her heart hammered in her chest and the blood roared in her ears. "Sally said she told you—"

Annabeth narrowed her eyes. "Ms. Jackson didn't tell me anything." She snarled, suddenly finding the strength to stand. She rushed to her closet to get her jacket and keys. There was a shocked pause on Thalia's end before her best friend spoke up quietly.

"What?" Thalia's breath sounded rough. "You're fucking kidding me." Annabeth rolled her eyes and flew down the stairs and passed the kitchen where her family was having dinner with another possible suitor.

"Annabeth! Come and sit—Where are you going?" Annabeth didn't even spare the two families a look as she ran to where her shoes were discarded. "Annabeth! Get back here now!"

"I'm going to the hospital!" She shouted back venomously. "Percy woke up!"

There were a lot of people on Annabeth's hit list at the moment. Her parents, the annoying kid from school, Luke, Ms. Jackson, and the dumbass who caused the accident that backed up traffic.

Annabeth honked her horn twice before screaming and hitting her wheel. At this rate Percy was going to go back into a coma before she got to see him.

Almost an hour and three phone calls from Thalia later, Annabeth was at the hospital doors and running in and passed the front desk and the nurses. Thalia had already texted her the room number.

She shot forward and raced down the halls, glancing at each door until she finally reached a crowd of her friends. Thalia spotted her first and cried out,

"Annabeth!" The others turned to look at her.

"Where is he? Is he awake? Can I see him?" She rushed out, bending over to catch her breath. Thalia gave the door to Percy's room a dark look.

"Sally is in there right now. She's been in there for an hour, I swear I'm going to go insane." Annabeth scowled. Thalia stared talking again, "Did you hear about the accident?" The blonde blinked in surprise. Why was Thalia bringing up the accident on 5th street? Thalia answered anyways. "It was Luke." She muttered. "He was speeding on his way over to the hospital and crashed, head on, into a incoming semi." Annabeth stared at her best friend in horror and… relief.

Sally finally came back out, looking distressed and hurt and maybe even a little relieved. But when her eyes landed on Annabeth they widened and then narrowed in anger. "You're not supposed to be here."

Annabeth held her ground. "I have every right to be here." She challenged. "I'm his girlfriend."

"And as his mother." Sally snarled. "I have say on whether or not you get to see him." Annabeth bit back any sharp comment about how much of a mother Sally really was and instead changed tactics.

"I think that should be up to Percy, on whether or not I get to see him." Sally scowled and looked like she was going to decline but a nurse came out and called out,

"Is there an Annabeth Chase? Mr. Jackson is asking for an Annabeth Chase?" Annabeth gave Sally a smug look and pushed passed her into the room.

He still didn't look good, his hair was matted and dull, his skin was pasty and he was awfully skinny. However his smile lit up the room and his eyes sparkled in disbelief.

Annabeth nearly choked on her tears when he smiled at her like that. He looked so breathtaking and beautiful. Annabeth stumbled and landed clumsily half way in his bed and half way on the floor, her arms tight around him as she sobbed and wailed into him. He clumsily moved his arms to hold her gently and he buried his face into her hair. He peppered her with kisses and tears and comforting words and apologies.

"Don't ever do that again!" She told him, hiccupping and rubbing the snot from her nose. "I can't do that again, Percy please don't ever leave me again, I don't know—"

"You would've survived, Wise Girl." He told her softly. Annabeth looked appalled but Percy continued. "It's true," He ran a hand along her soft cheek and tucked a silky curl behind her ear. "You're so strong and so brave and intelligent. You would've found a way to move on and be happy and marry someone worthy of your love." He kissed her forward. "I love you and I need you." He gives a laugh that is just short of being bitter. "I've only known you, for what, not even half a year, and I already need you? I'm pathetic." He snorted. "You don't need me though… And that's a really painful reality."

Percy was soon going back to school and Annabeth watched him from a far. He wasn't going to graduate this year but he was still trying. She wanted to help him, to let him know how much she loved him, cared for him, craved him, wanted him, needed him. But she knew he wouldn't listen. He had seemingly done some thinking when he was in the coma. He needed to fix things—but on his own. He didn't want help. He had reached some awful reality where he decided that he needed to know how to be on his own again, but this time without screwing up.

Annabeth was proud of him, don't misunderstand, but she just wished she could show him how much she needed him.

She couldn't decide which was worse, Percy being in a coma or having him right next to her but not with her.

One day she saw him just sitting in his car in the school parking lot. He's staring off into space, his face unreadable. Taking a breath and pulling her books closer to her chest she walks forward to him. She slips open the passenger door and climbs in. It was weird to see Percy like this, just staring at nothing while static hung in the air. No music was playing.

They stayed silent for an eternity and the blonde began to wonder if he even realized she was in his car.

"Silence is louder than anything, louder than thunder, louder than the cry of a mother, and louder than a million bombs." He says finally, his voice soft and tender. "I used to hate the silence, it was heavy and overbearing. It left me alone with my thoughts. Even from a young age I used laughter, loud dumb comments, and music to cover it up so I could pretend that it wasn't there, the low hum of static, the darkness in my mind. I could hide it all away." He pulls out a cigarette and lights it up. She almost misses the action. "And in those final days, I didn't need any fronts or loud music, I had someone who made my heart soar and just the pounding of my heart of enough noise for me.

"But that night I jumped…" Annabeth winces while Percy shuts his eyes quickly before opening them and turning to stare at her, his ocean eyes the most intense she's ever seen them. There truly was an entire ocean trapped in his irises. "All around me was noise, and for once it was the noise that was crushing. The river below me was crashing, my car alarm was going off, my heart was racing, there were birds crying over head… it was too much, the noise was too loud and when I jumped the roar was the loudest and at first I thought I made a mistake, jumping." Percy shook his head. "I remember screaming, or thinking I was screaming, the noise would get loud every second I came closer to the water and I just wanted everything to stop. But when I crashed into the water, breaking the surface, everything stopped. I couldn't hear anything; all I could feel was cold. And peace. And all around me was silence and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever experienced." His eyes were so sad, Annabeth felt like she was going to be sick. "I found myself in those few fleeting seconds of my consciousness. I realized how badly I screwed up—but I also realized that I was fixing things. There was no more running, I was paying for my crimes. And that was the end."

There's only silence when he stops speaking. Annabeth suddenly understand his fight with silence as she fights to find something to say to her perfect Percy.

"But it wasn't the end." She says in a whisper. Percy leans away from her and takes another drag, his eyes closed.

"Exactly. It's not over." His eyes open lazily to watch the smoke lift. "But I don't know what that means." He admits. "It could mean that I'm destined to make others suffer as well as myself… or it could mean I paid for my sins and now I've got a chance to do it right.

"I'm looking for an answer, but neither the noise or the silence have anything to say to me." Annabeth finds the sudden courage to grasp his hand, making him look at her in surprise. Her eyes are unwavering as they clash with his own.

"Let me be an answer." His eyes soften and he shakes his head in disbelief. But he squeezes her hand back and smiles lovingly.

"I'd like that."

I didn't want to write a second part but ALL of you wanted me to and then I got inspiration and you guys got lucky that's for sure.

xo

Emma.