Hello all. I really should be revising for my exams but here I am, on FanFiction, writing fanfiction. Oh well, I guess I can consider this English revision ;)

Filled with Tony angst. You have been warned. Oh! And also:

Warning: Contains swearing.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers.

It's times like these when he realizes that he isn't invincible, no matter how much he wants to be. He wants to believe that he can soar the sky with no limits, without the obligations and the responsibilities that he so lives by.

He isn't invincible, and he was okay with that. He didn't need to be reminded of it.

He knows he's a stubborn asshole, and he's aware that sometimes he breaks the rules. And he has been warned time and time and time again that breaking rules comes with repercussions.

So why is it, that the one time he didn't break any rules, was the time that he almost lost it all?

All Tony knows is that all he can remember is the deafening sound of an explosion and his teammates screaming.

"Stark, round off to Fifth Avenue, we gotta get these suckers out of the sky."

"Roger that, Rogers," Tony smirked.

He flew through the sky, slicing the air like a blade, leaving behind a trail of dust in his wake.

It was mere hours ago that the Avengers were called to assemble, due to an unidentified threat terrorizing the lower Manhattan area. And even when they got there, the Avengers had no idea what they were facing.

Blank faces, clean of any features except a mouth with sharp teeth and with claws of steel that can be used as wings.

Tony rounded off the side of a building, and caught the sight of the faceless creatures.

"Sighted, Cap, what are your orders?"

The good Captain replied with a loss of breath, his heavy breathing evident even through the earpiece. "As usual, Stark, blast 'em."

"With pleasure."

Tony lifted his repulsors, and blasted the faceless creatures out of the sky, incinerating them in the process.

"Stark, come back, we're going to need your help back down here."

Tony nodded, and blasted off once again.

He skidded onto the ground when he sighted the Black Widow, the Hulk, Hawkeye and Captain America (Thor was still in Asgard, sorting out the Loki incident) seemingly struggling with the leader of the perpetrators, an 8ft creature with wings of made of steel and sharp enough to cut bone.

"I finished them off up there, as far as I can see, there's none left."

Then they were fighting, Natasha shooting her guns, Hawkeye firing his arrows, the Hulk doing what he does best and Captain America flinging his shield. But the monster was not backing down.

"Fire at him, Tony! Fire at him!" Clint screamed.

The monster approached slowly, ripping through the streets, his wings cutting through the concrete buildings.

So Tony flew towards the monster as his teammates retreated back to get away from the blast. He lifted his repulsors, and fired.

What happened next, he didn't expect.

Faceless grew into an orange ember colour, glowing brightly and shining. Then came the screams, the fire and the explosions.

And the next thing Tony knows is pure darkness.

The next thing Tony remembered was the feeling of utter helplessness in his stiff bones, and his body strapped to a hospital bed.

He sensed Pepper's comforting presence, her hands slowly pushing his hair away from his face and her soft murmurs in his ear.

Smiling, he whispered, "Hey, Pep."

He heard a choking noise of happiness, and he felt Pepper's grip on his hand tighten considerably. "Oh Tony," she whispered back.

Then he heard Steve's voice, followed by Natasha's, then Clint's and finally, Bruce's.

He didn't like feeling watched.

But there was something off. His bones were stiff, but he was able to move them. But…he can't open his eyes.

"Pep…Pep why can't I open my eyes?" Tony pulled at his restraints, why do I have restraints?

"Pep…Pep what's going on?!"

He thrashed, pulling and jerking his body to break free of the restraints. He began to feel a burning feeling in his wrists.

Then he feels Clint and Steve pushing him down, trying in all their might to calm him down but they don't understand…Tony just wants to know why he can't open his eyes.

"Tony, stop! Please!" Steve urges desperately. "Please calm down!"

"Cap? Cap why am I tied up?"

"Tony," he hears Pepper whisper, "Tony your eyes are open."

His body fell limp as he tried to process what Pepper had just said.

"My eyes can't be open…I can't see anything," he whispered softly, fingers scratching at the sweat stained bedsheets.

"Tony…" Pepper's voice fills the silence, etched with forlorn and sorrow. He feels her touch his shoulder gently, before feeling her slip in beside him on the bed and embrace him in her arms.

"Why can't I see?" he whispers into her neck.

"Tony…" he hears Clint pipe up, his usual playful voice now dark with regret and guilt. "When you blew up the monster, it…it exploded…violently. We got away with some minor burns, but you got the brunt of it. Tony the flames were hot enough to melt your suit."

He shivered, curling in on himself. His hands were just itching to go claw at his face, his eyes, just to make sure that this nightmare isn't real.

Because that's all this is, a nightmare. He couldn't…he couldn't be. Not after Afghanistan and Monaco and New York, he couldn't be.

He didn't do anything wrong.

"You're body suit was heat proof, but the only thing protecting your face was your faceplate. It…it melted into your eyes…the heat shot your nerves, they're burnt. God I am so sorry, Tony," Clint drawled out, and Tony thought that he could hear his voice shake a little.

"No," he murmured into Pepper's neck, "NO. I can't be…I am not. After everything that has happened to me, I can't be!" Tony cried out. "I don't…I followed orders!"

The heart monitor started beeping wildly, and Tony could feel his throat closing in as he struggled to breathe.

"Tony, please! For the love of God calm down!" Clint shouted out.

But Tony kept pulling and thrashing, his throat burning from screaming bloody murder, because for fuck's sake he can't see.

"Oh god I can't see," he cries, sobs racking his body until he is nothing more than a quivering lump of limbs on a hospital bed.

And it hurts, because the Avengers can't do anything about it, because it's too late and he's too far gone and they wish they could save him. But that's life, and it's cruel, and sometimes there are things and people who can't be saved. That's the price of being a hero.

"Can you just…can you guys just leave me alone?" Tony asks, his voice soft and broken and nothing like any of the Avengers has ever heard before. It's the voice of defeat.

Tony Stark has given up.

It takes a while for Tony to let them back into his room, the only ones allowed in were Pepper and Rhodey, who was lucky enough to get 2 days leave until he had to depart to Malibu again.

When the four of them come back, Tony is on the bed, talking in hushed whispers to Pepper about something incomprehensible. But they don't pry because they'd rather not upset Tony more than he already is.

His eyes are bandaged in a white gauze, and Bruce can't help but think that he misses those soulful and intelligent brown eyes, the same ones that were the first to look at him without fear in years.

For the first time in a long time, Natasha feels uncomfortable, because yeah, Stark can be a pompous ass but most of the time, no, all the time he means well. And she feels bad because he is the last person that deserves this, because he brought them into his house in the middle of the night, when they resembled shivering cold orphans with no home and no place to go, so they went to visit the generous king at the palace instead. He gave them a home, and Natasha surely can't repay him for that.

"You don't have to come here because you feel sorry for me," Tony says wearily.

"No, we're here because we want to be," Clint replies as he crosses his arms.

"Because you want to tell me that I'm no longer on the team? Go on, just say it, I know you guys want to."

Steve bristles, "No, Tony, don't you dare think that. We want you on the team, you're an asset and believe it or not, we need you."

"No," Tony says hard, "you don't need me, you need the suit. Because what am I without my suit, right Cap?"

"Tony…" Pepper says softly.

"No, Pep, I've been waiting for this, I need to hear it," he faces them again, "just tell me now, don't mess around, don't try to circumvent it because we all know what's coming. Just fucking tell me that I'm off the team. It's best for all of us if you just fucking tell me."

"Do you really think that low of us, that we'd just kick you off because of some…some…" Steve defensively begins, his aura of leadership rising up to protect his team.

Tony growls out, his fists slamming down on his bed, "Just say it! Because I'm blind. Just say it Cap!"

"Because you're blind!" Steve grinds out, fists clenched at his side with his breath coming out in harsh gasps. Bruce shrivels into the corner of the room, watching, observing, trying to remain quiet and control his anger in deep breathing. In. Out. In. Out.

"Okay fine maybe you're blind and maybe it's a problem but you know what? Iron Man isn't a part of this team," Tony looks away, but Steve continues, "Tony Stark is. And if you really think that you could be replaced that easily is frankly, insulting.

"Because the Hulk, Black Widow, the God of Thunder, Hawkeye and even Captain America isn't part of the Avengers. It's Bruce Banner, Natasha Romanoff, Thor, Clint Barton and Steve Rogers who are the Avengers. We aren't complete without Tony Stark. To hell with Iron Man, to hell with the suit, we aren't whole without you.

"Yeah, okay, I admit it, Fury called a meeting and told us that he was kicking you off the team, but we said no, we didn't want you off the team, and we fought for hours but we got what we wanted.

"So no, Tony, you're not off the team, because we came to a compromise, and for you to think that lowly of us is offensive."

"Finished with your monologue there, Cap?" Tony says after a couple minutes of silence.

Steve settles, his shoulders relaxing back when he breathes out. "Yeah, about done."

Tony turns to Pepper, and she nods, placing a swift kiss on his cheek before leaving the room, but not without glaring daggers at the Avengers which clearly said – don't make him upset.

No one wants to feel the wrath of Pepper Potts.

"The thing is that I don't think you guys get it," Tony says softly, head bowed down and fingers playing with the hem of his hospital gown.

"We don't get what?" Bruce asks politely, before sinking down onto the sofa at the end of the room, joining Natasha and Clint.

Tony's lip trembles, and his voice is croaky and shaking when he forces out, "I don't want to feel useless," he murmurs, "I don't want to feel like a charity case."

"But –" Steve starts.

"No, please, just let me finish."

Steve stands down, and leans against the wall with his arms crossed.

"I want to go back to that morning, I want to see all of your faces at the breakfast table, laughing and smiling. I want to see your faces when you laugh and when you smile, and not just imagine them. I want to see your eyes when you're happy, and I want to see them when you're sad. I want to see emotions. I want to see life in all of your eyes. I want to see, and not just imagine. I want to see the birds flying in the sky, and not just imagine myself flying alongside them. I want to see my robots, my tools, I want to see you. But that's the problem…I can't," Tony breathes out. His head is bowed down, with his fists clenched together on his lap. Natasha thinks that if he were able to…he'd be crying.

"How can I be useful if I can't see? How can I build things if I can't see? I'm here, sitting in this realm of pure darkness, and all I can think about is how I've taken things for granted. I've been trying," Tony throws his head back against the headboard, and shakes it with a grim laugh, "I've been trying to fix my wrongs, but it's an endless list that I'll never finish."

Bruce swallows hard, he can feel Clint shift beside him, and when he turns around he can see the marksman with his head firmly placed in his hands, and Natasha with her arms around him, rubbing his back up and down in comfort.

He sees Steve in the corner of the room, staring at the bed in sadness, and he can almost feel the gears in his head whirring like a machine, waiting, planning for another stragedy to make this all better.

But he can't. None of them can. Because Tony's broken and he's always been, but Bruce has always known better.

Tony may be broken, but he has a heart that is bigger than all of theirs combined. He loves so strongly and he feels so much that god forbid he isn't going to do all he can to help him.

Love, in the end, is his greatest strength, and his greatest weakness.

"We're always going to be here," Bruce starts, and Tony turns his head to his voice, hands roaming the bed to look for his hand. Bruce clasps Tony's hand in his and he grasps it tightly.

"Times are going to get tough and life is going to change but we're still going to be here, because friends never leave those who need them. Pepper's not going to leave soon, because she loves you so much and god, I wish you could see the love in her eyes. Rhodes hasn't left yet, and he sure as hell isn't going to leave now. Maybe we weren't here in the beginning, but we're here until the end.

"You want to see us, Tony?" He nods, lips etched into a frown. "Then you can see us by using this," Bruce squeezes Tony's hand tighter before bringing it up to his face.

And then Tony laughs, he laughs brightly and happily for the first time in a long time, because he can see Bruce, he can see him. He can feel and see the subtle dimples in his cheeks, the curve of his jaw, the laugh and stress lines around his eyes and his disheveled hair. He can see his wire-rimmed glasses and the shape of his nose and the size of his eyes.

Then he can see Steve, who's come closer and grasped Tony's hand in his. Tony can see the bright and perfectly combed blonde hair and the strong jaw and the broad shoulders, he can see his clothes, a button up shirt with a pocket on the right breast.

Then it's Natasha, bright red curly hair which has now grown past her shoulders. She's wearing her SHIELD uniform, he can tell because of the texture. He can see her green eyes, and wow, is that a smile?

Clint's there, and Tony laughs again because he can see Clint making faces at him. And he feels okay again because he can see them.

He hears the door open, and he senses Pepper's presence. He motions for her to come close, so she does because he has a wide grin on his face and she laughs merrily alongside him. He can see her hair tied up in a high ponytail and he can see her expensive suit. He can see her soft lips and her baby blue eyes.

And he feels, maybe it's going to be okay.

Nick Fury stands outside the door, and none of the team notices (not even Natasha), because their focus is on the happy billionaire in front of them. Their teammate, their friend. The man who's done everything and who's asked for nothing in return, who despite his endless lists of faults is perfect in every way.

Fury has never seen Tony smile, or has heard his genuine laugh, and Fury thinks that maybe it'll all work out in the end.

The following weeks are hard, but Tony gets through it. He's been back in his workshop for two weeks now, and Bruce has been helping him design a new suit that can be used even with his disability.

Without the bandages, Tony's eyes are pure white, and sometimes, Bruce thinks that he can see the universe within them.

But Bruce builds, and Tony writes the instructions on a Braille sheet of paper, and it's a good thing Bruce already knows how to read it because he's helped a couple blind patients in Calcutta before.

Steve, Natasha and Clint come by once in a while to help out and observe on the particularly hard things that Bruce can't do alone. The heavy lifting it left to Steve while Clint and Natasha do all the errands that are required.

Thor comes back a week after the suit is finished, and he's not phased at all by the news of what happened to the man of iron, he simply smiles and says that the best soldiers are the ones wounded in battle. That the best ones are the ones who still come out on top and refuse to give up.

Tony is a consultant now. Well, most of the time. He designed a suit that was built to house and compensate for his disability, but he only uses it when he needs to (like when the Avengers need extra hands for battle). For now he just mans the radar and creates plans and strategies alongside Steve, and it turns out that they make quite a good pair.

With Bruce's help, he's managed to make a blind friendly workshop, as well as blind friendly appliances. In the following months, with his newly created equipment, he's been able to create effective plans of attack that have saved thousands of civilians and he's managed to plea to the Stark Industries board to support and donate millions to the blind community for better funding.

At first, the press wasn't very keen that one of the most influential men in the world was now blind, but Tony doesn't care anymore, he stopped caring on the day that he saw the world for what it was.

He's regarded as a hero in the blind community, because it's because of him that they're now getting the treatment they deserve and more money is being put into research to help the blind see again. Tony and Bruce are leading the team and Tony couldn't help but feel more useful.

He fights because that's what he's done all his life. He fights in battles when he's needed because he's always there, he sees the world in another perspective that lets him see people more clearly that he used to. He still doesn't take anyone's shit, that'll never change.

He helps plan strategies to prevent civilian loss of life, and the Avengers are slowly growing stronger with his tactics and strategies.

He's an inspiration to millions because he's more than just Iron Man now. Because he can connect with them on a personal level and show that he does have a heart, possibly one of the biggest of all. Because the arc reactor and his money doesn't define who he is and has never defined who he is and he's learned who his true friends are in this experience.

Because even though he's lost his sight and all he can see is pure darkness, he can see the world much more clearly now.

He doesn't have to be perfect to be a hero.

I'm not sure if I liked how this turned out or not but eh, it is what it is and I hope that it didn't disappoint! :)

Yeah, okay, I know about his arc reactor now (I've seen the new Iron Man film, EPIC, btw), but I've decided to disregard it here since it is fanfiction. Tbh the ending of IM3 kind of makes it hard to write accurate fanfiction but hey, things can change in the fanfiction universe, that's the beauty of it!

Anyway thank you for reading and don't hesitate to leave reviews for the angst ridden soul?