Title: How Kurt Hummel Took Advantage of Detention

Author: SergeantGullible12

Rating: M

Characters/Pairings: Kurt Hummel/Blaine Anderson

Word count: 1059

Summary: Kurt managed to get him and Blaine in detention from PDA, so why not use detention to continue it. Kurt thinks that it's fair. Airhead!Kurt. Part of the Ditzy 'verse.

Warnings/Spoilers: Vague handjobs, kissing etc.

Disclaimer- I am by no means associated with Glee, Fox, Ryan Murphy or anything from the Glee world. I make no profit from writing this, it's just for my creepy leisure.

A/N- Hello! Right after publishing my other ditzy!Kurt fanfic I was struck with this idea so here it is! There will be more to come, I promise (these are really fun). They'll come in one-shots but they're all part of the same 'verse. Feel free to send me ideas through reviews, PMs or asks on tumblr.

ENJOY!

XxXxX

It's not completely Kurt's fault. How was he supposed to know that it's not socially acceptable to dry hump your new boyfriend in public. And even worse, in class. In a small class. In Glee Club.

On the piano while the lights are dimmed and Tina is singing a solo.

A few Glee club members stood in the area of the black shiny piano as Tina sang, swaying and harmonizing. People were recording the performance on their phones, since they had forgotten she could sing.

Kurt was going to harmonize but he spaced out and then Blaine was conveniently there.

Kurt didn't know that the song was nearly over, that the lights were going to go back on. All he could think about was how Blaine could pop a boner really fast and if his dad would know that the large purple bruise on his neck was a hickey.

But when the lights came back on and Marley fainted Kurt knew that this wasn't going to end well.

"BLAINE GET YOUR HAND OUT OF KURT'S PANTS, YOU'RE IN SCHOOL!" Mr Schue yelled, Kurt whining when Blaine obeyed.

"Aw but I was so close, can you all just go for, like, three minutes?" Kurt asked and Brittany turned to leave, Sam grabbing onto her jacket so she didn't.

"No Kurt. Both of you, two Principal Figgins office now. Kitty, escort them," Mr Schue ordered and Kitty groaned, yelled something about Jesus but dragged the boys out anyway.

"I hope you horny idiots had fun," she grumbled sarcastically, still dragging Kurt along because Blaine had slipped free.

"Yeah we did, thanks for asking!" Kurt replied, smiling, "Did you have fun listening to Tina sing about Blaine's ass or rabbits or something?"

"No, dumbshit, I didn't," Kitty replied harshly and Blaine hit her arm, glaring at her.

"Shut up Kitty," Blaine mumbled.

"Kitty I really like your name but why are you called it? I mean, you aren't even a cat. I know you aren't because Brittany has a cat and it's fatter than you," Kurt rambled airly, "It also can bake apple pie but Brittany says that he puts weed in it so I can't eat it."

"I didn't hear a word that you just said," Kitty said and then turned and left, since they stood outside of Principal Figgin's office.

Kurt and Blaine walked in, Kurt waving happily at the receptionist and asking her if she made her dress with seal skin. She frowned at him and sent them through to the principal.

When the two walked in they found Principal Figgins playing online Sudoku on his ancient phone. Blaine coughed loudly, announcing their arrival, causing Figgins to jump.

"Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson, why are you here?" the principal asked with a grimace.

"Well, uh, Principal Figgins, um, in Glee Club when it was really dark-" Blaine started stammering but Kurt cut in.

"I started dry humping Blaine but Mr Schuester didn't like that Blaine was touching my penis in class time so he sent us here," Kurt said calmly, grinning at Blaine who was mouthing "stop" frantically. But Kurt couldn't speak Silencese.

Before continuing Principal Figgins threw hand sanitizer at Blaine and ordered his receptionist to get Miss Pilsbury to wipe the door handles.

"Well, Mr Hummel, PDA is against school rules," Figgins stated.

"But when Rachel and Finn made out in the hallway three to four times a week last year no one complained," Kurt said.

Figgins coughed and spluttered out excuses while shoving the "Finchel Forever" poster into his desk draw.

"Even so, Mr Hummel, there has to be a punishment," he said.

Kurt started giggling and Blaine hides his face in his hands whispering "We are screwed".

"What is so funny?" the principal asked, getting annoyed at the giggling boy.

"That's what Blaine said last night!" Kurt said and Blaine groaned.

"Uh, well, you both have two weeks of lunchtime detention!" Principal Figgins spluttered.

"Why?" Kurt asked.

"Because of your inappropriate behaviour during Glee Club!" the principal exclaimed.

"What inappropriate behaviour?" Kurt asked and Blaine just took his hand, leading him out of the room.

XxXxX

"Lunchtime detention is –oh yes– fun!" Kurt gasped as Blaine's hands slid into his pants, Blaine groaning when he met skin.

"Mhm," Blaine agreed, keeping his mouth on Kurt's neck with persistence.

"Who knew that –oh Blaine, fuck me– we would be able to continue our sexy time here," Kurt said, hand's grasping at Blaine's ass through his jeans.

"I did –god, Kurt," Blaine moaned as Kurt bit down on his neck, sucking at the indents.

"Oh god Blaine," Kurt whined, hands scratching up and down Blaine's shirtless back, writhing against the cold desk, "Blaine god I'm gonna c-"

Then the door flew open, revealing a surprised Tina.

There was a long pause, the silence only filled with Kurt's quiet gasps since Blaine still had his hand wrapped around his dick.

"You didn't lock the door, did you Kurt," Blaine sighed, looking down at the boy underneath him.

"I couldn't remember which way to turn it," Kurt said softly, leaning up to nibble at Blaine's ear.

"Um, I'm just going to go now," Tina said, face bright red, and shut the door after her.

Blaine sighed and dropped his head to Kurt's shoulder, Kurt still ravishing his neck.

"Kurt, remember what I told you about our sexy times," Blaine said.

"Uh, to only come when you sa-" Kurt began, eyebrows pulled together as he thought.

"No not that, the other rule," Blaine hurried, blushing.

"Don't wear too many layers?" Kurt said.

"No, it's 'Stop when someone walks in on us'," Blaine said, kissing Kurt's cheek, "Good try though."

Kurt hummed but then let out a broken sound.

"Blaine, you're still touching my dick."

XxXxX

Kitty was passing by the European History classroom when she heard sounds that you normally didn't hear in public.

"Oh god, Blaine, please!"

Oh. It was those two.

She did a cross gesture before flinging open the door, not even changing her bored facial expression.

"Gnome man, Pixie butt, can you not keep your hands off each other for two minutes?" she deadpanned, "Also, Glee is about to start and your detention finished ten minutes ago."

Blaine let out an exasperated sigh "We'll be there in five minutes, Kitty."

"Sure, sure," Kitty said and left.

A/N- Um yeah. The smut was a bit bad in my opinion but yolo am I right? *punches self in the face for saying that word*. If you liked this, feel free to go read "How Marley Rose and Justin Timberlake got Klaine Together", since it's in the same 'verse.

Have a good day! :)