Whiskey Wedding Challenge By Whitetigerwolf

Accepted by LordFira

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its associated characters, all copyright belongs to JK Rowling; I do own any OC spells explained at the end of a chapter.

Requirements:

- Harry must be involved in a marriage contract (Accepted)

- James and whomever he made the contract with must be drunk when the contact is drawn up (Accepted)

- James and whomever he made the contact with cannot remember, and hence tell anyone, about the contract (Accepted)

- Harry's bride must be someone he doesn't know well, if at all (Accepted)

- Harry and his bride must be married by his 15th birthday (Accepted)

- Harry and his bride must receive between one years and one month notice of the deadline to marry (Accepted)

- If harry and his bride do not marry, their lives and magic will be forfeited (Accepted)

Recommended:

- Harry/Amelia Bone (Accepted)

- Harry/Andromeda Tonks

- Harry/Gwenog Jones

- Pregnancy (Accepted)

Addition:

-Harry/Narcissa Malfoy

Plot: Why is it when you're drunk you always come up with the greatest ideas?! Well they aren't really great, especially when your father and his best friend, forget they did this and it comes back to bite you squarely in the ass. Thank you James, thank you Sirius. Marriage is a beautiful thing, when you are aware of it.

Warnings:

Mature Content

Some character Bashing.

Independent!Harry

Romance and Connections:

Harry/Narcissa/Amelia other pairings to be decided

"Normal Speech"

'Thought'

Prologue:

Chapter 1. Over indulgence + Alcohol = ?

It generally equates to what people would call a 'black out' kind of night. Considering the difference in a magical being physiology, the amount of alcohol they consume would kill lesser men. Good thing they weren't lesser man. Some wondered at how even with the aid of magic, their livers withstood such an onslaught of this venerable poison.

They had been kicked out of the Three Broom Sticks, their popularity didn't give them a chance to enjoy themselves at the leaky cauldron, so with the aid of their wealth and abilities, tey took to the streets of England, claiming to be uni students on holiday.

Twats

Crafty, lying twats.

The night started out the same it had for the last month. Considering the stress of his job and the addition to his family, James had taken to staying at his best friends flat in London, to allow his wife to enjoy a moment of leisure and company with her parents. His best friend being Lord Sirius Orion Black. How awkward a name, right? None the less who in their right mind would complain about staying with their best friend? The arrangement was simple, being of wealth, the home was taken care, leisure was an absolute, they had all they wanted, and both carrying titles of Lord simplified their misadventures, kind of a get out of jail free card for the most part.

Despite their wealth these two had taken to baser satisfactions. Enter the shakes: involuntary movement generally associated with alcohol dependency when someone is going through withdrawal. Generally people would quit, stop, finish, no more. But for a certain black haired grey eyed individual, the hair of the dog was the end all cure. His hands, unaccustomed to fine usage fumbled on the table top next to him, knocking over god knows what, but found what he was looking for as his hand gingerly wrapped around the neck of a finely crafted bottle. He kept his head hidden from the light, but slid the beverage underneath the expanse of silk and satin blankets, placing the opening on his lip, before tilting it back, sputtering for a second, before repeating.

He faintly registered a groan from the foot of his bed, and made to shift the blankets just enough for one half lidded eye to peek through the safety of the cover. He spied with his little eye a messy haired individual, struggling to release himself from the web of sheets that had mystically ensnared him. With a lazy kick, he pushed said individual off the edge of the bed with a faint laugh as he heard James hit the ground with a faint thud and"oomph".

"Wa' the eff pad" he slurred, turning over, rubbing his side as he shielded his eyes from he light.

It was vicious.

His head swam in a cloud of yuck. He swayed as he stood before resigning himself to fall on Sirius bed. Naturally, as was custom for the 18 year old individuals, Sirius handed him the bottle which James took, eyeing it like an enemy before, with the courage of a lion, he tilted the liquid into his mouth and swallowed quickly. Grimacing at the burn, though grateful a moment later as his head cleared up.

Such a brutal cycle.

The pair sat in silence for a while, passing the bottle back and forth before James spoke.

"What happened last night?"

"I dunno."

"I remember bits and pieces."

"I browned out…"

"Browned out? What's that mean?"

"It's not quite a black out, you kind of remember but then you aren't sure if the events actually happened, everything is kind of hazy, almost a black out but not quite, so a brown out."

James shrugged. "Oh"

They went quiet again before hearing a crash in the kitchen, both startled as they heard three squeaky voices yelling at fourth, much more masculine voice replying to the accosting. Their curiosity peeked, Sirius drug himself from bed, wrapping his blanket around him, while James followed, taking quick drags of the liquid. What beheld them was nothing short of amusing.

Lord Bones was sitting on the floor, shirtless being berated by three house elves who were yelling at him for trying to make his own food and in the process accidentally emptying the fridge of everything.

"I was hungry…and I'm still drunk…" he repeated quietly.

James and Sirius laughed at their friend.

Oh what a night it had been.

(15 hours before.)

"Oi, Jamey Boy, where ya headed?" Ryan asked

"Out mate, got some celebrating to do! Son being born and all, it's been a month already!" James responded, hanging his Auror robe.

"Ryan, wasn't your daughter born just two weeks ago?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"What did you and your mates do? She is your first born and all right?"

"Haha, as far as I know, yep, she is. But we didn't do anything, I've been busy here. With all of you" He finished waving his hand around.

"Then come out with us!" Sirius ordered, James nodded in agreement.

"We just gotta stop by and see if Lupin wants to come and were gonna hit the cobbles, pub hop maybe. Get Siri shagged, maybe he can join the daddy crew!" James chided with a laugh.

"Pardon me sir…but I will have to pass on that membership, I believe at this point in time, it's a bit too exclusive for me." Sirius retorted as the trio made their way out of the door. Ryan had acquiesced to their offer, it wasn't often one was included in the legendary outings of the Hogwarts Marauders.

Moments later they were standing outside of a small cassita. Sirius being Sirius took it upon himself to make as much racket at the door as possible. After 10 minutes of nothing, James stopped his friend. "Might as well quit it, doesn't look like Moony's here, probably with Angela." He finished.

Sirius sighed looking dejected before shaking it off. "Right then, let's get going chaps!"

Now inebriation has a habit of speeding up time. You don't realize how much fun you're having, and considering their magical influence, they enjoyed themselves even more. Like random pranks to bar patrons, for example sealing everyone's zippers so when they decided to use the loo, they couldn't get their pants off. Or charming every bottle of beer to reseal itself every other swig, so that the drunker individuals frustration would get the better of them. The most fun they had was when they charmed a bottle of whiskey to move every time a man tried to grab it. Finally the guy got so pissed off that he flipped the table and stormed to the counter yelling and cursing. That made the three of them laugh so hard, that they had to escape a fight by running into an alley and despite their state, apparate away.

Three pubs later, Sirius being slapped twice, one spilled pint and who knows how many shots, they found themselves in a small wizarding village outside of Bristol finally having decided to forgo muggle London, they lounged in the back of the establishment, laughing at who knows what. Each one was trying their hardest to make an impression of each other but to no avail. 'How was this fun', you might ask? 'Blame it on the a-a-a-a -alcohol, baby.'

"You guys are the best" Ryan slurred "W-why didn't I hang out with you in school?"

"Cause you were a weirdo Ryan!" Sirius yelled, laughing with a pint of beer sloshing on himself.

"Was not!"

"Y-yeah huh!" he laughed.

"You were mate!" James joined in, grimacing as a shot of fire whiskey made it down his throat.

"Whatever!" Ryan said with a laugh, raising his drink. "Let's do this again!"

"Here Here Brother" They chortled in return.

Ryan slumped an arm of Sirius and James shoulders. "You know, you guys know, you know what would be so great?"

"What?" James responded after a rather foul burp.

"If we were bothers, you know? Then we could do this every day?" He responded.

There really was no logic in the statement, rather the musings of a drunken father caught in the rapture of his first child's birth, though late, they were adults so why would they need to be brothers to do this every day when as three lords they could literally do this every day. Even though, both the other men agreed, if they were brothers they could do this every day.

"Oi you lot, we could be brothers, well not Siri…his loins are lonely, but you and I Ryan. Our kids! If they got married we would be brothers, eh?" James proposed

Less logic, but to the drunk it was absolutely perfect.

"Merlins beard! You're right!" Ryan yelled "Lets do it then, our families would be one, but Amelia would be so mad! HAHAHAHA!" He finished with a laugh.

Had Lupin been there, things would have gone a different way, but Sirius feeling left out, invoked all his Lordly ability and pouted.

"What about me?"

"What about you padfoot?"

"I wanna be a part."

"But you don't have a child, Sirius"

"Hmm…" The gears were spinning. "I have a cousin! She's young, I bet she'll be pretty fit."

James perked a brow before Ryan responded. "RIGHT! THEN ITS SETTLED!"

In lieu of paper, a napkin was used. In lieu of instant ink remover, scratches were used. In lieu of a witness, a bar maid was used. With a quick call to their House elves, they're house seals were brought to them, stamped with their respective seals, and signed. A single house elf was then told to bring the 'three way contract' to the goblins. Upon the arrival of the 'contract' the goblins were almost going to dismiss the missive, saying it was nothing more than the ramblings of drunken young men, but the presence of their seals and signatures, made this napkin as legally and magically binding as any official form.

Curse them and their lord's titles.

Ragnok read it over, raising a brow as he finished, creating duplicates for each house. "I wonder if these are the names they meant to use?" he queried, before putting the napkin amongst each house file. He shrugged; it was way out his hands.

As the boys lamented in their awesomeness, bathed in their genius, the idea of them being family, they had forgotten to do the simplest of things. Reread. But then again, had they thought about re reading, they would have already realized they were family, although distant. Furthermore had they had the sense to see that, then logic would have prevailed and they would never have done this. But fortunately for them, none of that happened. So, if they had at least reread, they would have seen a massive flaw where Ryan had written.

Sirius had promised his Cousin.

James, his Son.

Ryan…well, being a bit drunker than he thought, went to write Susan, his daughter, but as the conversation switched to their school mates and his sister, he became sidetracked and wrote Amelia…

The effects of one night…changed quite a bit of futures.

A/N: So what does everyone think. Please read and review, let me know what you all think!