The first in a series of humorous one-shot based off of stupid ideas my friends and I come up with at school. Most contain an oc but some will not.

I don't own Naruto.

Enjoy.

It was really dark in the cell where Katerina was still hanging. Then suddenly she had an unexplainable urge to start humming the Jaws theme.

Duh nuh

She was unaware of the shadow approaching the cell.

Duh nuh

They turned down the hallway to her locked door.

Dun Du Dun Du Dun Du Dun Du Dun Du Dun Du Dun Du Dun Du

The figure unlocked the door and turned the handle.

DUN!

Katerina let out a very girlish shriek when the door flew open revealing Kisame who jumped. "What the hell was that?!" He asked her.

"Sorry, I just wasn't expecting you." She said regaining composure.

"Whatever I was told to try and get information from you." He told her while approaching.

"Good luck. So what are you going to do? Needles, fire, knives…"

"I'm going to tickle you." He said.

She raised an eyebrow. "Come again?"

"You heard me." He wiggled his fingers and tickled her stomach. She squealed. "Now spill your secrets."

She laughed before blurting. "When I was five I found a playboy magazine in my brother's room!"

Kisame stopped for a moment looking at her incredulously. "Okay…not what I meant." He said continuing his attack.

"I used to torture the mean lady down the street's cats!" She cried out. "I'm the one who sent a dead rat addressed to our clan leader to the police force!"

Kisame sweat dropped. "I didn't want to hear your life story."

Katerina wasn't listening. "I lit one of the higher class kid's pants on fire! I ate the chocolate cake my mom said not to touch and let my brother take the blame! When I was younger I used to hate my teammates' sister until she was engaged to my brother! I had inappropriate fantasies about a four way with my teammates, Itachi, and myself!" She revealed and Kisame finally stopped.

"That's it I'm done." He said turning and leaving the room with that highly disturbing image in his head.

"So did you find anything out Kisame?" Pein asked him when he returned.

"Yeah, her mind is worse than the pits of hell." He said. "I'm going to be scarred for life." With that he left the room leaving a thoroughly confused Pein behind.

And that is the first. Then next will be posted tomorrow.

Leave a review they keep me happy and motivated.

See ya.