Hello! I'm back (again?)! As usual, there is no excuse for my lateness but... I can't apologise enough for my slow retarded rate. I'm getting there, I swear! I'll cut my intro short and let you guys get to the fun part. It's slightly shorter than the usual, but the message gets across :D Post notes after!

Enjoy! This entire chapter is in Eren's POV. Apologies for any typo or weird english! And any OOC-ness should let be known so I can take note and be aware of.

Chapter 10: Out the pan

In the back of my mind, I've accepted the pitch black darkness as part of my consciousness. Silence was my only company. I could neither move nor feel, and time seemed to have halted. I could never count the seconds, for I would lose the number even before I even tried. I could only think and ask myself questions I could never answer.

Where was my father? Why was I a titan, and how did it happen? What was the true reason to raising my blade against the titans, now that our enemies weren't them alone?

Who am I?

The more I asked, the more the darkness seeped through, like water through the cracks in stone. When I tried to think of other things, the same few questions grew louder, allowing no room for replacement.

...en...

Time and again, I'd try to convince myself to sink into this environment. There wouldn't be need to worry about anyone or anything. No titans. No military. No concerns. No pain.

Sometimes, I felt that letting myself fall into the darkness was shelter. It was calmer in here. Peaceful, quiet, and on my own. Worry was a distant thought.

Was this what they called 'escaping reality'? It seemed to be.

It reminded me so much of the time when I had sunk deep into my own sub-consciousness and locked Armin out. My determination that time was greater. Upon remembering our promise, I broke free of this comforting shell. Now, if the same thing were to happen, I couldn't be so sure that I could be successful.

Armin... Mikasa...

That's right. I had people I wanted to protect. It was my new-found reason to fight. That was why I'd shy away from this secure haven. Armin and my promise, and my promise with...

...ren...

Ah, that voice. One I knew so well... too well.

It was beneath the subconsciousness that I could feel the tingling sensations of the past wounds inflicted. The side of my head, the corner of my jaw, and the biting of restraints against my wrists. It was the very pain I had experienced back in the court house.

Was I angry? I didn't think I was compared to being shocked, because this man who ground my head to the floor wasn't the least bit afraid of who I was, and what I am.

Lance Corporal Levi. Another individual who had entered my life. I promised to protect him too, didn't I?

I wanted to be like him. Strong, brave and unyielding. He held the power to destroy the beings I couldn't. Corporal Levi never hesitated, and that was why he still stands - still alive.

But at the same time, I've witnessed him being the 'Lance Corporal' many couldn't see. He bleeds, suffers injuries, and had the scars to prove it. The man wasn't immortal, and death lingered on his shoulders. He was the strongest as people said, but he wasn't without weakness. The corporal was still only human.

We were what we couldn't be, and that made us the same. We lacked what each other had, and therefore will never rise to be a perfection that could change everything. We were the sides of a coin, standing back-to-back, and could never obtain what the other had. We were merely thrown into every situation together, unable to take our own paths now that our fates were intertwined.

...Eren...

I think it was time that I woke up from my thoughts and dream, and face the reality of this cruel world. Just like everyone else, I wasn't alone in this living nightmare.

-Eros Magna-

When I opened my eyes, I was greeted by an unfamiliar ceiling. It wasn't alike my home where a hanging lantern was made to house candles. The shared lodging of the cadets was a wooden, triangular roof hut that had spiderwebs once in a while. Pilna Kruze's room atmosphere was different; a little less stuffy and the room tend to be bright from the sunlight beaming in.

This place is...

"Are you finally awake, brat?" I heard Corporal Levi's voice question. Still in a daze from waking, I turned my head slightly to the side, and was greeted with a mild scowl. "If you are, then get off my leg."

I need not be told twice. The corporal having to repeat himself would incur extra chores as punishment, and no one in his right mind would want that.

Fully awake by then, I scrambled to my feet, picking up the sheets that were my covers for the night. Apparently, I had been using the corporal's thigh as a pillow. As usual, I sat on the floor to sleep, but somehow his leg must've gotten too close to the edge of the bed and I managed to plant the back of my head on it. How long that had gone for, I wasn't sure, but thankfully the corporal didn't seem too annoyed by it.

"Ah- morning and erm... sorry, corporal," I said, almost embarrassed. The apology had been directed mostly on the fact that I must've hindered his early rise. But as far as I knew, Corporal Levi would usually smack me on my forehead or shove me off when I got in his way. I guess he took the liberty of a lesser rude awakening today.

"It's fine. The floor's really uncomfortable, I know."

"Eh? No, it's fine. I'm used to sleeping on the floor," I replied honestly. When I was young, I used to get picked up from the floor like a sack of beans because of my terrible sleeping habits. I could fall asleep just about anywhere: in the fields, on a tree branch, and even the back of a horse.

"..." The corporal held his gaze in my direction for a good second, with my being clueless to what he may have been thinking about. He looked away after, heading towards the door.

"The bed's not big, but you're not either. You can use the bed."

"Then where will you sleep, corporal?"

"The bed," came the reply in an as-a-matter-of-fact tone.

I gaped. "It's fine, really!" I protested.

"Shut up," the corporal snapped as he rounded the doorway. "Don't squabble with me, or I'll knock your teeth out." With that, I heard his shoes becoming distant.

I couldn't help but gulp a little at his words. A hand of mine covered my jaw in reflex, protecting it despite the lack of a real threat.

-Eros Magna-

The day went on as usual, and night came quicker than expected.

It was near midnight, and I headed back to my sleeping quarters after a shower. To the least of my surprises, the corporal was already there, sitting on the bed and scribbling on a book that rested on his knee. He must've returned at some point when I was away, to which my absence had taken a while no thanks to squabbling with Jean.

"Corporal," I greeted, entering the room in my casual wear and a towel around my neck.

A fleeting glance from mist-gray eyes was the only acknowledgement before the corporal continued tending to his work. The usual awkward silence fell, though tension had lifted from the atmosphere since days ago. It wasn't relaxing to be around the corporal per say, but it felt as if I had already gotten used to his presence.

"I did tell you that you could use the bed," Corporal Levi's voice sounded.

I gave a puzzled 'huh?' before the belated realisation that I had seated myself on the floor, next to his knees. The routine had gotten the better of my actions, and I had done it without thinking.

"Off, before the dust clings onto you."

Might be a little too late for that, I thought to myself, but heeded regardless. I dusted the back of my pants, and very hesitantly inched closer to the bed.

The corporal hadn't wasted another second. He merely grabbed the back of my shirt and literally hauled my entire self onto the bed. His strength was surprising, considering how he threw me with a single hand. His non-dominant one, no less, since the other was holding the pen.

I became a flustered heap on the bed when I could finally process what had happened. I ended up staring at the back of the corporal's head. My back was pressed against the wall, and to be honest, the bed wasn't really big enough for two people our sizes. Yes, even with the corporal's, though I would never tell him in my right mind.

"Um... corporal, are you sure it's alright that er... we share the bed. I've always had the impression that you hated coming in contact with people or something."

"Filthy people, yes." I restrained a mild chuckle. I'm guessing the only reason why he would actually allow me on the bed was the fact that I had just returned from the shower. "We would have to share spaces like these all the time. Sleeping close to each other was the best was to preserve warmth."

"We?" I picked up quickly.

"Back when I had yet to join the Scout Legion."

Speaking of before the Scout Legion, the only rumor I've ever hard of the corporal was that he used to be from the underground cult or something. I've never actually seen or heard about them until Petra, and it sparked my curiosity.

"Back when you were living underground?" The words slipped out.

I saw the corporal evidently stiffen. The pen that had been scribbling all the while came to a complete halt, frozen above the paper. Tension settled in the tiny room, and I wished I hadn't asked about it. I was positive it wasn't something the corporal wanted to discuss so openly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry."

"Let's just put it this way. The moment you get to experience the better side of things, you don't want it to fall back into the shitty conditions."

I decided not to continue the conversation, and I believe the corporal too. He placed his writing materials aside and blew out the candles on the side-table, letting darkness blanket the room.

Corporal Levi laid down next to me under his own covers, but I could feel the heat of his body. Thanks to my better eyesight, I could see the corporal mirroring my position, which was lying on my back. My head was slighted tilted towards him, though, to take in his features just that little bit better.

Grey eyes darted in my direction, startling me a little.

"Your eyes glow," Corporal Levi said all of a sudden.

"Huh?"

"Like a cat."

I smiled at what I hoped to be a pleasing comment, and the corporal decided sleep on his side facing the other end of the room away from me. He pillows his head under a curled arm, seemingly comfortable with his position. My eyes returned to the unfamiliar ceiling.

"Good night, corporal."

His response was a small, almost inaudible hum.

-Eros Magna-

My mind gradually pulled itself to consciousness. As the seconds passed, I became aware that I couldn't move my right arm. Something was pressing against it. Or more specifically, on it.

Annoyed by the slight disturbance to my sleep, I opened my eyes to see the lower half of my vision obstructed with something black. Peering down, I was shocked to see the corporal curled up a little, facing my neck. His even breathing indicated that he was still asleep with my upper arm pillowing his head.

I didn't dare to move. Several questions ran through my head, inclusive of how we ended up in this position. I hardly moved when I slept, and as far as I recalled, neither did the corporal. But somehow, we ended up on our sides, facing each other and being... close.

Oddly enough, being within breathing space of the corporal's wasn't uncomfortable at all. His calm breathing in turn made me settle from the morning surprise, and I didn't feel like waking him just yet. My hand was feeling a little numb, but that could be easily ignored.

Glancing down, I observed that Corporal Levi would still sleep with a frown on his face, and his facial muscles didn't seem to relax despite the state his body was in. It was pretty interesting to be able to look at the corporal's face this close. There was slight scarring on his features, too, but no one would've been able to pick it up unless it was this close a proximity.

See, he isn't as flawless as everyone thought he was.

"Levi!" I literally jumped when a loud voice which could be identified as Hanji's echoed within the walls, followed by thundering footsteps that could easily rival a titans. My second startle was from meeting piercing grey eyes that had opened all of a sudden.

The door swung open without grace, and I was near sweating when I could see Hanji staring at the two of us right before her.

"Am I interrupting something?" Came a snark-sounding tone.

"Shut up, four-eyes. You're being so noisy in the early hours of the morning," Corporal Levi growled out as he sat up. He threw his legs over the edge of the bed, and I could see that he had stifled a yawn.

I did the same, but remained on the bed cross-legged and hoped the conversation finished quickly.

Hanji wasn't the least affected by the corporal's words and skipped into the room. "Come now, it's not often that you wake late! It's nearly noon. You must've been having a good sleep to snooze this long into the day." A wink was tossed my way and I raised a brow.

Getting straight to the point, the corporal questioned: "And? Why are you here?"

"That's right!" Hanji bumped the side of her fist against an open palm. "Erwin returned an hour ago. He's in the hall-"

"Why didn't you say so earlier!" Corporal Levi interrupted with a sharp snap, sliding off the bed. He hadn't even bothered to change out of the garments he had slept in. He immediately exited the room.

I've never seen the corporal so... flustered before. The commander has parted from us for about two weeks, and we hardly received news of him. It seemed to be he had accomplished what was needed to be done.

"Don't look so worried, Eren! Levi's not going to find Erwin as if he missed him. He just has a bone to pick with Erwin, that's all," Hanji reassured.

"I'm not worried...?" I replied, but my voice sounded grouchy without my own control.

"Really? Then that must've been a jealous look," she grinned before walking past me towards the door. I watched as her silhouette paused in the corridor, a hand raised. "No matter, let Levi know I'm heading back to Trost with Krauhser."

"But this early in the morning?" I questioned.

"Work, work," was all she said before disappearing around a corner.

I rubbed the base of my neck, wondering what business she would have back at Trost. The district wasn't far, maybe about two hour's horse ride. It was still a hassle, though, and it must be a pain to spend four hours in a day just travelling horseback.

Yawning to myself, I grabbed my towel and left the room with the intention to wash up and get ready for another possibly boring day.

I was passing the dining hall when my attention was immediately stolen by a loud slamming noise, presumably a hand against a table. I entered, greeted by the commander and those present. However, the only person speaking was sizing up to the commander, with an attitude to boot.

"So when were you going to tell me that your ass just returned?" Corporal Levi grunted. The hand which had caused the ruckus two seconds ago retreated to being crossed arms over his chest.

"My bad. The moment I had returned, everyone started to flock me with question. But since you're here, Hanji must have finally informed you of my return," the Commander dismissed the daggers being glared up at him. His eyes cast in my direction, and he smiled a little. "Eren. You're up early."

"Sir!" I gave a salute. "I was er... woken by Hanji-san as well."

"At ease." I dropped by stance, walking over to the group. "My apologies. I was pretty sure I instructed Hanji to only wake Levi."

"I'm sharing the room with him," Corporal Levi explained even before I could reply. "It's not hard to hear that titan walking through the hallway."

"Is that so? If that's the case, you're welcome to share my sleeping quarters."

I did not miss a certain gaze the commander had discretely thrown at me. My brows furrowed a little without hesitation. Was there supposed to be an underlying meaning to that?

"I refuse. The both of us could hardly fit on the small bed, needless to say with you."

I didn't miss the soft 'oh' or 'ah' that came from the people around us. I found myself warming up a little, embarrassed. However, the corporal didn't even bat an eyelid to whatever he had just said, merely scowling at the commander.

At the same time though, there was only one world that could describe what I was feeling then. Satisfied. The corporal rejecting Commander Erwin's... invitation, so to say.

I was already used to having Corpral Levi in the same room as me. He was almost a comfort to my nights, because with him around, I felt... controlled. I cannot lose myself easily, les I wish to get hit. He was also a restraining factor to my consciousness, pulling me out of the darkness I was always tempted to live in.

Commander Erwin merely raised a thick brow of his.

"I see. That's a shame. I was going to discuss with you something... secretly." I didn't miss the second fleeting gaze the commander had thrown me. I resisted returning a scowl out of respect.

"As if you've ever told me anything," Corporal Levi snorted. "If anything, you've always kept me in the dark. What could be secretive?"

The two leaders started to have a one-sided bicker, mostly Corporal Levi pointing out the faults of the other. I listened to their conversation half-heartedly, feeling a little... left out, for the lack of better description. Everyone else had dispersed and went on with their own stuff.

"Eren!"

Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw a certain blonde waving by the doorway. I returned him a wide smile, and I walked over to where Armin and Mikasa were.

I looked over my shoulder to see if the corporal was still continuing his conversation, and I met his gaze by chance. He held it for a moment, and as if knowing what my intentions were, gave a small jerk of his head as approval. I nodded back, and joined Armin and Mikasa for the rest of the day.

-Eros Magna-

Without Hanji, it was like a holiday. On a normal basis, I would be stuck with her for hours on end adhering to her (occasionally ridiculous) requests. Most of the time it involved transforming a certain body part whatnot. Since we were outside the district, it was relatively safe to do so, and this castle we were lodging at was rather hidden.

I ended up chatting with Armin and Mikasa for the entire day. Well, mostly with the former, because Mikasa preferred listening than allowing her thoughts be known. The conversations were mundane, until the topic deviated to the commander and the corporal. I couldn't even remember how our chat had brought them up, but Armin was really curious about it.

We were in the stables at that point in time, keeping our steeds happy with food and grooming.

"They're just really close, I guess," I replied in a dry tone.

Armin glanced about, careful and making sure no one was in ear-shot before speaking: "I'm not sure how true this rumor is, but the corporal was said to be a thug from the undergrounds before he joined the Scout Legion. He wasn't highly looked upon then, because of his origin."

"That part I know. What else did you hear about him?"

The blond in the next stable shrugged. "Many things. Like how he was a thief and a murderer."

I frowned, peering at Armin over the waist high wooden pole that separated the horses from each other. "Do you seriously think that the corporal is a murderer?"

"These are just what I heard, Eren. Don't take it too seriously. Whoever the corporal was in the past... is of little matter. All I know that he's someone I respect very much, and that won't change."

"I don't like shortie either, but I do look up to his fighting skills," Mikasa, in the other stable, finally voiced something for the day.

"That's... true." I returned to brushing my horse's fur and she nicks my shirt in content.

I wouldn't think that my views on the corporal would change, either. He was a figure I wish to follow the footsteps of. Even if the rumors were true about him being... a murderer.

Frankly, I held that title ages ago. I still remembered the event as if it happened yesterday, and no doubt, Corporal Levi was aware of what I had done. The news was announced all-so loudly in the courtroom months ago, anyway.

Birds of a feather flock together, maybe?

After dinner and a good shower, I was walking towards the stairway when I heard voices only my sharp hearing could pick up. They belonged to the commander and the corporal. Most of everyone else has retreated to their rooms for sleep, and sometimes snoring could be heard.

I stopped before a door, knowing that on the other side of it were the two authoritative figures of the Scout Legion. This room had been either kept aside for the commander, or its previous occupant had shifted to another room.

"They're just being nosy, as usual," Corporal Levi said.

"They're just being concerned," came a correction, and the corporal snorted.

Who's 'they'?

"I'm sure you've told them I have no love interest, or have ever the intention of getting a lover."

The corporal with a lover?

"They simply thought that it would be good if someone were there to... share the burden."

The room fell for a good moment's silence before the corporal spoke: "...You know we don't do that."

"I believe we have established that, yes. How about trying?"

"There isn't a need to."

"Not even once?"

"You of all people know very well why. Now drop it, Erwin, before I drop you."

"I concede."

The rest of the conversation went unheard as I got myself lost in thinking. Come to think of it, I realised that the main core of the Scout Legion members lacked partners. Either that, or they hardly talked about them. About half the members of the Scout Legion still had their families, but people with partners seemed to be a minority. Maybe because of the higher risk rate?

Also, the conversation Corporal Levi has with Commander Erwin had made me conclude something: I knew very little and possibly near nothing about the corporal, minus the clean freak nature and unique tea-cup holding stance.

The door of the room creaked open slowly. I need not guess who was leaving either, judging by the pace and heaviness of the footsteps. There wasn't a point in trying to hide the fact I was there, since the long hallway would still give away my being there.

Corporal Levi noticed me, of course. "Eavesdropping again."

I gave the best shrug I could. "I just happened to pass by again."

"You're an awful full of 'coincidental'," Corporal Levi snorted. He didn't seem interested in pursuing the matter and signalled for me to follow.

We walked back to the room we shared in silence. Even when we passed the other Scout Legion members and received greetings, Corporal Levi and I would just nod in acknowledgement.

Once we were in the room, the corporal gave a firm 'sit' and I planted myself at the edge of the bed. I didn't bother hiding my guilt for eavesdropping, but as said, the corporal didn't seem bothered. I simply watched as he walked towards the wooden shelf where his scribbling material was, probably wanting to write before calling it a day.

Minutes passed, and I finally gave in to my undying question: "Why wouldn't you consider a partner?"

"I don't see a need to." The answer was short, clipped.

"That's just an excuse."

"Oh, and you know me well enough to put words in my mouth?" He said in a sarcastic manner.

It had... caused some discomfort when he mentioned that fact. Corporal Levi wasn't wrong. I truly didn't know him, and I was probably sticking my nose where it shouldn't be. But I wanted to know just to understand him a little more. What made him the way he was now, and how different he could be compared to the rest of us.

He must've noticed how mildly upset I was, with my eyes downcast to the floor. He gave a loud, defeated-sounding sigh.

"There's one thing you need to remember, Eren. When someone dies, it's not them who's going to suffer the most. It is those left alive who do."

But everyone dies, eventually. Does that mean we ought to sacrifice the happiness of being with someone forever? Shouldn't it be seen from the other perspective, where the times together be cherished and remembered as memories?

I found myself challenging the corporal's words. "Then... what if they don't die?"

Corporal Levi stared at me as if I grew something foreign on my head. "We all die. It's only a matter of time."

"But-"

There was a knocking that interrupted me, and a voice sounded from behind the door.

"Corporal, the commander is looking for you again."

"Damn Erwin," Corporal Levi gave a soft, irritated sigh. "Understood. Tell him I'll be there." He glanced over his shoulder to where I sat.

"Go to sleep, brat. We've an early day tomorrow," Corporal Levi ruffled my hair as he walked off, and I stared at the closing door.

Letting out a sigh, I flopped onto the bed on my back. I decided to leave the candle burning, and I stared at the ceiling, finding that the room felt so... empty.

For a moment, I pondered on what Commander Erwin would require of the corporal, since they had just spoken a short while ago. It must've been important if it couldn't wait til the next morning.

Feeling a little grouchy about that fact, I turned to lay on my side, pressing my back against the cool wall. I cast unwanted thoughts aside, hoping to focus on something else that would allow me rest and sleep.

Ah, I could smell the corporal's scent on the clean sheets, as clearly as it would when he slept next to me.

Btw, sometimes you just have to spam me reviews or PM to remind me that I have stories to update. They slip my mind... sometimes... ahaha... /sweatsprofusely.

Anyhow, I sense a shit storm coming :D Do you? How's the pace? (and I don't mean my update, but the story progression orz... ) Real Levi probably wouldn't do anything to Erwin, tbh :'D But I guess in this story, it's a sensitive topic for Levi. Or at least, I'm making it that way. Why not? It's fun to bug the corporal ufufuf...

And holy shit, I didn't know I had 760 people following this story. That's crazy. You guys are crazy, but I love you for it X)

Again, bear with me as I slowly unfold the story and characters. Everything may be a blur now, but I promised it will get better! Everything will get sorted as the story progresses!

Eren's opening thoughts are a little fickle, because I think that's just the way he is. He's always drifting in and out of his consciousness, because it's where he wants to flee into, but can't. Someone like him would find times where they'd want to be free of everything, and it's almost like a relapse of the time when he first turned into a titan, but here in a dream-like state. It's really what he would be thinking at this point in time, and his habits will be touched on later.

For those who are following the manga, Eros Magna's (my) Levi won't be sharing the same history (as you can already tell by now). As much as I'd love to fix everything to be realistic like the manga, I've kinda treaded off too far to turn back and amend it. But worry not, I will dig into details so as to not make it confusing. If you haven't read the manga, then I can only hope that my version doesn't disappoint. The other point is the main OC antagonist of the story, which does not correlate to the manga's except for the faction.

I thank every reader from the bottom of my heart, especially those who have been with me from the start of Eros Magna. I sincerely apologise for my slowness, and once again thank you for your patience and support! Reviewers get an extra blow kiss, because everyone is so helpful and encouraging, and it pushes me on to keep writing. By my calculations, we are actually nearing the end soon, but not that soon (not with my retardedness anyway). You're looking at Eros Magna finishing short of 20 chapters, mostly because each chapter is relatively long and detailed. Everything is all set out and planned and it's just for slow me to write everything out. 8) Exciting!

For reading all entire text wall, I'll just humor you guys about the title of this story, as one reader was curious. But I think many of you may be too haha. In all honesty, I'm not sure I've even spelt the title right. However, it's a play of word and synonym. For all you know, I could be wrong, but this was my take anyway.

It originates from latin, with 'eros' and 'magna' being related to 'love' and 'great'. Directly translated, it would've meant 'love great'. But alike some languages, the subject and whatnot gets swapped, ie now it's to be 'great love'. 'Great' in my head can be a synoym for 'titan' in terms of size, like gigantic. And that actually comes down to the title meaning 'titan('s) love'. And who's the titan? Well, that's pretty self-explanatory x) Thus, we have Eros Magna, the title of this story.

Hope the title has humored you! It did take a while to think of it, and I hope it is befitting of the story. Also, I hope you've liked it! :) My tumblr and fb page is always welcoming people to message away!

With that, I bid every good days to come!