Trial and Error

The first time she finds out she's pregnant, Jade freaks out. She's only seventeen, barely out of high school. She initially planned on just getting it 'taken care of' (she hated that term, they should call it what it was- baby killing).

By some coincidence, Beck tells her a story that night about the baby his parents aborted before he was born. He wonders if he would have turned out different (better) if he had had an older brother or sister.

Jade calls and cancels her appointment. Besides, there's always adoption, right?

The first look into that baby's eyes and Jade knows that she will never give her up. Beck had wanted a girl, she had wanted a boy, but the universe didn't work in her favor (when does it ever?).

Cat visits them in the hospital and brings the baby name book Jade had requested. They hadn't planned any names. Jade always avoided the topic when it came up, thinking that it would be so simple to just give it- her- away.

Cat tells them that there are little sticky notes on the names she and the gang like- green for Robbie, red for Andre, orange for Tori, and, of course, pink for Cat. Jade immediately rips out all of the green and orange ones.

It comes down to Lola (Cat's choice) and Savannah (suggested by both Andre and Cat). Jade finally tells them that it's Savannah Lucy and no one is going to criticize her choice.

(She doesn't say it out loud, but Beck knows that she thinks it's the perfect name and can't stand to hear that she's wrong)

The first night with Savannah is the roughest. Jade's up once every hour (Beck swears the baby only cried twice, though Jade insists it was more).

When Beck leaves in the morning for his crappy mechanic job (he's gotta support his family somehow, right?), Jade and Savannah say goodbye. He can't help but notice it's the happiest he's seen his girlfriend in a while, even if she didn't sleep.

(He's almost able to forget the attempted suicide after graduation)

Savannah is six months old. He cheats, she cheats. They break up.

(Were they ever really meant to be together anyway?)

Savannah's second birthday rolls around. Now, they've got the two nine month olds. Sarah Grace is every bit her father's daughter, while Samantha Lily is just like her mother. Jade is still furious about the stupid S -first name pattern Beck had insisted on.

No one mentioned that they thought (hoped) Beck&Jade were now Beck and Jade.

They all laugh at Beck and Jade's playful fighting (it's strange to see them not fighting now).

(They pretend not to notice the scars on Jade's wrists when Beck pulls her up to dance)

When Beck gets a phone call about a movie, Jade is ecstatic. She gets the girls to make their daddy cards, and she even tries to make pancakes (which she burns and Beck has to fix, just like always).

They all cry when he doesn't get the role. It doesn't help when Jade announces that they're having another baby.

(But with them, when did babies ever help anything?)

Jade swears that if this one isn't a boy, she's going to make sure Beck has no more children. He knows she knows it's a girl, but doesn't say anything.

As he expected, Jade gives birth to their fourth daughter. She automatically says the name Scarlett Caterina (it proves the theory that Jade did know they were having a girl all along).

Though Beck would never say anything to her about it, he knows that Jade favors Scarlett. Something in their little girl's dark curls and dimples draws her mother in the way her three older sisters had failed to do.

Savannah's four now and extremely jealous of her baby sister. Sarah and Samantha (Beck insists on calling her Sami, partly because Samantha is too long and partly because Jade tells him not to) are only two and completely oblivious to it all.

Beck wishes there was some way he could open Jade's eyes and make her see what everyone else did.

(Even Savannah's unanswered cries for her mommy didn't fix the problem)

This time, Jade actually wants to have another baby. It's like Scarlett completely opened up her eyes to what a child could do for you.

(She may be only twenty one, but hey, if acting doesn't work out, why not be a mother?)

They plan to start trying when Scarlett is six months old, wanting their kids to be pretty close in age. (A sibling is the best friend you can have, Jade tells Beck one night. He knows she's remembering the little sister that her father killed when driving drunk)

They finally, finally, get their little boy. Jade cries at the ultrasound. (She swears its hormones, but Beck's seen her pregnant three times now and knows that it isn't).

Jade complains of cramps. (She had already decorated the nursery)

He calls Cat to sit with the kids. (Jade wanted the name Noah; Beck wanted to call him Scooter to fit the pattern. Jade threatened him bodily harm if he ever called their son a nickname)

Baby's there. (Jade swears that there's no God if she loses this baby, their only planned baby)

Baby's gone. (Beck cries when no one is watching)

They agree that, from now on, they'll just stop using birth control and get pregnant when they're meant to be (obviously planning a baby is too conventional for a couple like them).

Savannah starts the first grade. Sarah and Sami have a fourth birthday party. Mommy's Princess (as Savannah calls her) is two and still at the top of the world as far as Jade's concerned.

Beck goes to the cemetery on the anniversary of Noah's death.

Jade locks herself in the bathroom and cries.

When Sarah and Sami aren't looking, Savannah tells Scarlett how much she hates her and that she wishes she had never been born.

Scarlett doesn't understand. (Someday she will)

Another baby. Another S-name. (Jade had wanted Reagan this time; Beck fills out the birth certificate while she's sleeping)

Beck and Jade bring home their fifth daughter, Sophia Rylan. Jade won't let anyone around the baby.

For the first time, Scarlett doesn't sleep in between her parents at night. Though they never tell anyone, when she asks Savannah if she can sleep with her, the seven year old pushes her to the ground. (When Jade asks where the bruise came from two days later, they both play dumb)

Scarlett doesn't understand why her older sister won't love her back.

Savannah doesn't understand why she wants her to. (She never will)

Beck knows Jade is at her breaking point. Seven years, six kids.

He has to go away for a movie. Something tells him to stay, but he doesn't. (He wishes he had, now that he thinks of it)

Jade tries to kill herself that night.

Sami finds her, Sarah calls the police, just like she had been taught to.

Savannah sees Scarlett crying. She tells her it's all her fault. (Scarlett believes her)

Beck comes home and when Savannah runs to him, he brushes her off. That's when she starts to hate her mother (almost) as much as Scarlett.

(Her hatred only burns brighter when the nurses comment on how beautiful the dimpled little girl is)

When Jade recovers, Beck is by her side nearly every second of the day. He becomes Mr. Mom.

(He misses the spotlight, though he would never say it out loud)

He learns a lot about his daughters, especially Baby Sophia. He wonders if he loves her the way Jade loves Scarlett. (Savannah can see that he does)

Beck starts a new routine. Wake up, make sure Jade is okay. Get the girls up and dressed, check on Jade. Get everyone in the car, take Savannah, Sami, and Sarah to school. Come home, check on Jade. Play with Scarlett and Sophia. Nap time, make sure Jade is okay. Get the little girls, pick up the older kids from school. Make dinner, talk Jade into coming downstairs. Eat, get the girls ready for bed. Make Jade go to bed, go to sleep.

(He never thought that even sleep could be so exhausting)

Abortion is his first thought when Jade tells him she's pregnant again.

She's gotten better since her attempt at suicide a couple of months ago (though he still sees that faraway look in her eyes sometimes).

Savannah's eight now and growing bitterer every day. At Sophia's first birthday, she smashes her baby sister's face in the cake. Everyone laughs (except Scarlett).

Jade asks if Beck thinks therapy would be a good idea. He agrees (he doesn't want to talk to Jade about their problems, let alone a stranger).

They end up fighting right before they go and cancel their appointment (they never reschedule it).

Jade's got postpartum depression. Beck knows it, Andre knows it, even Cat knows it. She refuses to go near the newest baby, Stella Reagan.

(Though he'd never say it out loud, Beck doesn't want to leave the kids alone with her)

Three o'clock in the morning. The bedroom door opens, light pours in from the hallway. Combat boots hit the floor.

Scarlett is pulled out of her bed, a blanket wrapped around her. She doesn't wake up.

A little voice calls out and Jade turns, seeing Sarah rubbing her eyes from the stairs. (She doesn't know what to say when she asks her where she's going)

A cry sounds through the house. Jade puts Scarlett on the couch and runs upstairs, picking up the baby from the nursery. (It's the first time she's held her since they've been home from the hospital, even though she's already four months old)

The stairs creak as she goes back down. She knows she can't leave them, but she can't stay.

Jade grabs the empty baby carrier and straps Stella inside. She holds that in her left hand and puts Scarlett on her right hip. Sarah still wants to know where she's going. (She doesn't even know herself)

Jade talks the six year old into putting on her shoes. She pushes her gently out the front door and towards the car.

(She hopes that they can get away without Beck waking up)

Beck knows something is wrong when he wakes up to an empty bed and realizes the baby never cried. After checking her room, he realizes she's not there. He checks Scarlett's, too, knowing that Jade would possibly go there.

It's empty.

After inspecting a little further, he realizes that Savannah, Sami, and Sophia are asleep in their beds, while Jade, Stella, Scarlett, and Sarah are missing.

(He doesn't want to admit it, but he knows they're gone)

He calls the police, begging them to hurry up so they can find his wife and children.

One year old Sophia is asleep in his arms.

Six year old Sami has her face buried in his leg.

Eight year old Savannah is hoping they never come home again.

(Beck feels guilty, but he kind of does too)

A week quickly turns to a month, then six months. No word from anyone. (He even called Sinjin, and that's saying a lot)

Beck knows they need to move on, but he doesn't know how. (He hopes Jade's happy about the mess she's made of their lives)

Jade's rented a cheap apartment in some little town in the middle of the United States.

Four month old Stella is finally bonding with her mother.

Four year old Scarlett is happy as can be. (She hopes she'll never have to see Savannah again)

Six year old Sarah wants to know where Daddy is.

(Jade doesn't know what to say, so she says nothing)

Oh, and Jade found out she's pregnant.

(They really are unconventional, aren't they?)

It's been a year since Jade took off. Beck met someone new, a woman named Amie. (Cat hates her)

Savannah is still bitter. (Why didn't Jade take her instead of the others?)

Sami is starting to realize Jade, and her beloved sister Sarah, aren't coming back. (She blames Beck; she heard all the fighting)

Sophia is called Amie 'Mimmy' (Beck knows she means 'Mommy')

He misses his daughters.

(When he's feeling lonely, he can admit that he misses Jade too)

Skylar Reese is exactly like Beck. Jade continued the cheesy name trend. (She figured she owed him that much)

She picked up the phone to call him, but hung up before it could ring. (Why bring up old pain?)

She met someone new, a man named Reed. (He beat her)

(Maybe dating wasn't such a good idea)

It's on his wedding anniversary that Beck realizes if Jade came back, he would take her in a heartbeat. (He never expects her to actually do it)

Sami's picked up the name 'Mimmy' too. Amie adores the girls. (Beck wonders if she loves them more than Jade)

He doesn't know what to do about Savannah. She admits she's glad they're gone, especially Scarlett.

(She's too much like Jade)

The rain drenched through their clothes. They were soaked and she was finally at her breaking point. With Skylar in her arms and the other three around her, she banged on the front door.

Cat couldn't believe the woman in front of her was her best friend. She pulled the kids inside.

Jade introduced her to two year old Skylar, and she was re-introduced to Sarah, Scarlett, and Stella. She couldn't believe they were nine, seven, and three now. (Jade still has a soft spot for Scarlett, she notices)

She quietly asks about Beck. Cat tells her about Amie. They're married now.

(They've got a one year old son too, but she figures that part would push her over the edge)

Jade pulls up to the house and sees kids running around the front yard. (She can't believe he stayed here after three years)

She recognizes Sophia immediately. She's four now, but absolutely gorgeous. She's playing with a little boy. (Jade realizes Cat didn't tell her everything)

Before she has time to drive away, Beck comes outside. He sees her and runs to the car, begging her to stay. (He pretends it doesn't break his heart when only Sarah recognizes him)

Beck helps the kids out of the car. He asks if Skylar is his. (Jade lies)

He asks how she's doing. (Jade lies)

He asks if she's been taking care of herself. (Jade lies)

He asks why she did it. (Jade says nothing)

(She knows he'll never understand, anyway)

Amie is less than thrilled about their dinner guest. (She knows all about Jade, about the girls, even about Noah. Jade hates her immediately)

Beck tells Jade that they have a son, Stone. He's a year old.

Jade can't help but notice the bitter looks Savannah sends his way. (How didn't she notice them before?)

At the end of the night, Jade has nowhere to go. Beck tells her to stay with them.

(She's disgusted at the idea of another woman sleeping in her bed with her Beck. But was he ever really hers? They were never married, after all)

Jade considers running.

(It's the smile that Scarlett gave Beck that stops her this time; even after all these years, she could never leave her beloved daughter behind)

The truth everyone already suspected comes out. Sarah's not Jade's, Samantha's not Beck's. (Was there ever really any doubt?)

Shockingly, it's Amie that announces this. (Jade knows she's grasping at anything to tear them apart)

(Luck may have never been on their side, but somehow, they always ended up together)

Jade comes back stronger, admitting that Skylar is Beck's daughter.

They go to court together so he can adopt Sami and she can adopt Sarah. (It's not like their biological parents were ever around anyway)

Amie yells at Beck. The whole neighborhood can hear.

(Beck knows it's just a matter of time)

Unlike Jade, Amie doesn't take the easy way out. But she does file for divorce, and for custody of Stone. (Jade hates that he carried on the S-name trend, especially since it was without her)

Jade realizes she's a home wrecker. She tries to run.

Beck follows.

(He always does though, doesn't he?)