A/N: This is my first attempt at a multichapter story, though it is not going to be all that long. I had a specific idea in mind that I'd intended to just be another oneshot, but the more I thought about it the more I knew it'd be too long to pass off in one chapter. Anyway, I hope that you enjoy reading it. I really appreciate any and all feedback!

"Why'd you leave?"

His shaky voice was so quiet he could barely even tell if he'd just asked the question. He stared down at his hands, clenching and unclenching them so tightly he thought the skin of his knuckles might tear at any moment.

Silence. Nothing but the sound of crickets and the rattling of leaves in the thick, humid night.

He was biting his bottom lip, drawing blood, awaiting an answer that he knew wouldn't come. He'd felt the gloom filling his stomach, moving upwards to his chest and now it was pervading his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing them to keep the salty tears at bay. He knew how this would end. The same way as always.

Alone.

"Just… wha'do I do?"

His mind was racing, head spinning, all of the insults and abuses he'd been holding onto all this time trying to push their way out. He brought a trembling hand to his forehead that was beaded with sweat and grasped his hair tightly, his eyes remaining closed. The spinning worsened and he felt his legs might give way at any moment. The pressure in his chest… his heart was pounding so fast. A knot had formed in his throat and he was choking, gasping for air, teeth gritted. The fucking tears were coming.

He sank to his knees. The pulsing sorrow that ached to overtake him seemed to be dragging him down towards the earth but he still had enough strength to steady himself, palms placed firmly on the ground. Despite the lack of chill in the air, his body shivered fiercely as he attempted in vain to catch his breath. He'd never hyperventilated before but damn if his body wasn't trying.

"You… you abandoned me…"

His strength was failing him fast. He was crumbling from the inside out, the misery latching onto every fiber of his being, forcing the weak words out of him. What was the point of trying? None of his demands or assertions would change anything. They never did. He let his arms unlock and collapsed forward, his head resting on the dewy grass, chest heaving violently. The tears finally emerged, and when they did, they came in unending waves. The emotion erupting from him was so much stronger than any physical pain he'd ever felt, so demanding and consuming as it attempted to suck the air from his lungs. He allowed himself to finally just give up and fall to the ground, the wet earth dirtying his clothing. It was as if his body was trying to fold up within itself, to disappear totally as he curled up, knees straining to reach his chest, head tucked inward, face buried in his hands.

He wanted to shut his brain off, wanted to silence the screaming that emanated throughout his mind just burning to burst from his raw throat, wanted to put an end to the constant stream of degrading memories that kept resurfacing, wanted to take every nasty thing he'd ever done back, wanted to erase all of his memories, wanted everything gone. He wanted to be gone.

He didn't know how long he'd been on the ground before the tears and strangled sobbing had ceased. He lay there, unmoving, blank-faced and numb, his body attempting to sink below the earth. His mind had finally slowed to the point that he figured it was finally just going to shut itself off. Closing his eyes after what seemed like an eternity of not blinking, he took in an unsteady breath, wishing once more that it could be his last. But he knew things couldn't be that easy. They never were. He knew that the only way to end his despair was by his own hands, but he would never do it. He'd accepted that he was too weak, too pitiful, too unworthy of even going his own way. He deserved to live and die with the pain he'd always known.

Soaked to the bone by the point he'd finally resolved to stop being so pathetic, he attempted to push himself off the ground to rise but only managed to prop himself up on an elbow. His didn't want to look, but his eyes did as they pleased. His gaze traveled from his hand, clutching a patch of grass, to where the grass was ripped apart, the earth disturbed, finally resting on the dilapidated wooden cross he'd erected in the field.

Daryl gasped, his eyes shooting open as his body violently jerked him awake. He brought a hand up to rub his eyes, his vision still blurred slightly from sleep. His breath struggled to keep time with the racing of his heart as he tried to register his current location. He was freezing… he sat slouched against one of the ice-cold walls of the guard tower. That in addition to the incessant gusts of wind over the prison must have caused his body temperature to dip drastically in his sleeping state.

"You alright?"

Daryl glanced up to see Carol leaning against the railing, rifle slung over one shoulder as she curled her arms around her small frame tightly in a futile attempt to keep herself from shivering. She looked on at him, her head tilted to one side, eyebrows furrowed in worry.

"You let me fall asleep?" he asked gruffly, his voice still raspy from sleep as he placed a hand on the ground to help himself up. His legs tingled in pain, almost, having fallen asleep right along with him. He rubbed his stiff neck as he scanned the prison yard.

"Must've needed it… turned around and you were out like a light," Carol responded, shrugging a shoulder, a small smile playing on her lips.

"It's not safe! What if somethin' happened and I'm sittin' there passed out, not ready?" Daryl demanded, though his voice was low. He was extremely irritated but tried not to let it show; it wasn't Carol's fault he'd drifted to sleep like an idiot. She should've known better than to let him stay that way, though. She should've told him to get his ass up, immediately.

Carol watched the sunken-eyed man with concern as he wandered to the other end of the balcony. She'd been trying to choose her words around him carefully, lately, as he seemed to be closing himself off and retreating from the group on a daily basis. It wasn't a surprise that he had taken an immediate dislike to the close quarters he now shared with their new guests, and he seemed to be doing anything to keep himself away from them. But Carol was determined to keep him grounded – she felt like it was almost her responsibility now to make sure he didn't pull away like he'd attempted to do at the farm. The circumstances and setting may have changed, but she knew that the underlying reasoning was the same.

Loss.

There hadn't been much to say when Daryl had returned to the prison without his older brother. They all knew he wasn't going to talk openly about it; he had never been that way. Despite his hesitant willingness to begin speaking more often around his new family over the months they'd spent together on the road, this pain was not something he was going to share with them. He'd shoulder the grief in silence and seclusion rather than the fury he'd displayed back at the quarry. Carol knew the finality of his brother's disappearance had shattered something inside him. She felt a pang of sorrow resonate through her, the memory of her daughter staggering from the old barn materializing. The permanence was what destroyed you.

Though she knew he appreciated her presence greatly over the rest of them, she thought it best to leave him be for the time being to check up on the others. That was the excuse she'd given herself, anyway. She really just wanted to allow him that which he desired – time alone. Still... Maybe she'd mention to Rick that he should have a word with Daryl, try to persuade him to give himself a break to sleep. She already hounded him enough about eating; she didn't want to start nagging about all the other aspects of taking care of himself.

"It's crazy how it's gotten so cold so fast," she stated, watching him pace slowly along the balcony. "It's getting to be a little too chilly for me. I might head inside for a bit."

Her attempts to hint at the fact that she was leaving went unnoticed, or at least, didn't evoke any reaction she was seeking. Daryl didn't respond other than offering a quick quirk of his lips, continuing to stare unblinkingly at the forest's edge.

"Not going to fall asleep again, are you?" she joked quietly. Her thin smile waned almost immediately, seeing him narrow his eyes in disgust, clearly unamused. She knew it was time to go. Sighing, she turned silently and made a hasty departure down the staircase.

Daryl turned to look back over his shoulder once he'd heard her footsteps fade from the stairwell and watched her walk briskly to the courtyard. He breathed heavily, rubbing a hand over his eyes. The grasp this anguish had on his heart was becoming increasingly oppressive, slowly infecting the rest of his being.

He'd never wanted to talk to someone more in his life.