She was angry, knees pulled to her chest, a shaking ball of rage and tears. He set his bags down and sat by her, draping his arm around her shoulder. He knew exactly what was going on, of course. He had just come back from the gravestone.

It had been two years.

He didn't know it would affect her this bad, though. It was a moment before she acknowledged him, peering up through angry tears. Her voice quivered as she choked out her words. "It's his fault, you know. Even if it's not I'm going to blame him. I know you don't want to hear it. You were his best friend. But because of Sherlock, Jim is dead." She paused to take a shuddering breathe and lean into his side.

"Sebastia, you're right. But you know what? I blame Moriarty for Sherlock's death. I don't know what happened on that damn roof, but Moriarty had something to do with it, and I had to watch my best friend jump to his death. It was horrible. I died a little that day. If anyone knows how you feel, it's me. Remember that, okay? I'll let you rant because I know it will make you feel better." He paused for a moment before muttering, "Keep going."

"He was more than just my boss," she started after a moment. "I'm not sure if it was love. Probably not. Love is for the good guys. It was just the way we fit. The way we worked. The way we killed. We were one person. He began where I ended. He was my home and what was left of my heart. Blacked and bloodied, but still. Then he got caught up with Sherlock and our jobs weren't enough." She paused and took another breath, her voice steadying a bit. "Everything was about that stupid detective. He always had to find a new trick to play. Honestly, I lost him before he died. To Sherlock. I guess that's what upsets me most. I thought he would kill Sherlock and we could go back to ruling the city from below. Instead he died."

John reached over to wipe a tear from her cheek. "I'm sorry, I really am."

There was silence for a while before Sebastia spoke again, almost too softly for John to hear. "I do feel better now."

He chuckled softly. "Good."