Ok so I know I already have three stories, but this one just appeared in my head after reading the second book and I had to write it down. I still have to get my hands on the third book though...
This story does not contain the characters from the books, just random ones I thought of. The concept of Society and stuff is the same. I tried to make it all accurate with the books, but I probably missed some things, I'm sorry for that.
Please review and let me know what you think. Even if it's just to tell me how bad it is, with explanation please.

Thank you for reading,
Love,
EvilGirlLovesWriting

Reason to live, Reason to die

Chapter 1

'So Cinian, how is your brother doing today?'

It would've been a normal question to ask, if the person who had asked it were a friend. If that person did not know what happened to my brother. If my brother had not committed that crime. Right now, it was just a reminder of who destroyed my life, and they knew it.

'Fuck off.' I muttered, not nearly loud enough for him to hear.

Everyone knew my brother had gotten himself into trouble, becoming an aberration and all. Because of that I had to watch out what I did, or said. My whole family was being watched closely, even a simple swear word could get me into trouble and that was one thing I did not want to be in. My parents had gone through enough with my brother, I couldn't disappoint them as well.

I stalked home, finished for today. It had been a horrible day, just like every day. Once you're a family member of an aberration, people tend to avoid you. They look at you with all kinds of expressions but mostly disgust and fear. It's as if someone nailed a sign against my forehead with 'Criminal' on it. Not that I was a criminal, I didn't do anything illegal, never did. It's just that when a family member of yours becomes an aberration, you, as family, aren't any better.

I knew tonight would be exactly the same as always, that was the reason I wasn't all too excited or willing to go. Not that I had a choice, no one ever has a second chance to choose.

The matching banquet. It should be the biggest deal of my life. I should be excited as hell, talk about it with everyone I see, imagine the girl I'll be matched to and have butterflies in my stomach even after I was matched. There were a few problems with that 'I should be', because I wasn't. I didn't have anyone to talk to about it because no one wanted to talk to me. The one person who would wasn't here for another three weeks.

The truth? I just knew tonight would be a disaster. My life would end right there. Not in the 'dead' sense of 'end', no I would have to wait another 63 years for that. No, I mean my life will end in the sense of having no purpose whatsoever. I could already imagine how everyone would be watching me and my match. She would probably be scared of me after hearing what my brother had done, and that would be my ending.

I wanted to hate my brother, believe me. There were hundreds of nights where I wanted to feel hatred towards him. I just couldn't. He had been my best friend since birth, only a year older than me. He took care of me, taught me the tricks of Society. He was my role model and I loved him. I still do, even after what he did. I just couldn't help it, he was family.

He had chosen not to have a match banquet. Right now I wished I'd done the same. At the time we had to choose however, everything was going fine. Our family was happy. We were the absolute opposite from that now.

The moment I got home I went straight to my room. My parents have been sad ever since my brother left. I didn't avoid them because I didn't love them, on the contrary, I avoided them so they would not see I was miserable. They did not deserve a miserable son, not after their first son became an aberration.

It took me about five minutes to change into my tux. Being a boy, the only color I could choose was my shirt's and cravat's. Right now I was wishing I had chosen the normal white, or blue, like most other guys would be wearing. I could already imagine their stares at me for wearing a green shirt. Even the man at the distribution center had looked at me weird, his device probably told him I would choose another color. That device might've been right, if my brother had still been here. You see, Society doesn't count on these things to happen, and so they also don't know how it changes the ones who come in close contact with the things that 'aren't supposed to happen.' I sighed and started looking for my cravat. It wasn't in the closet and I cursed. I couldn't have lost it, that might get me into real trouble. Right as I was about to give up, my mom entered the room, holding it in her right hand.

She smiled as she walked over to me and put it on. It was a rare sight. 'You look very handsome my boy.' She said, tears glinting in her eyes. 'I wish your brother...' She trailed off and tears started rolling down her cheeks. Did I say I couldn't hate my brother? I could definitely, seeing my mom like this. She turned around and left the room without another word, I let her. I knew it was no use trying to console her, that just couldn't be done. Her life was a disaster, all our lives were. I sighed while putting on my cravat, staring into the mirror and seeing a young man, not a boy, the chance of being an excited boy had been taken away from me.

I was handsome, even without a tux, there was no denying that. I had messy sand colored hair, the same as my brother had. That might be a reason everyone looks at me like they do, because I look like my brother, an aberration. My eyes were a steel blue. They looked cold and detached, like I was. They used to be warm and friendly, I soon learned that wasn't enough though. I was pretty tall and muscular, but not too. I had been called 'perfect' by girls from my class before. Only last year they had been dreaming about me being their match. That was before my brother however. Why did everything in my life always get back to my brother? I was getting sick of it.

I turned around and looked around my room. The only place I would ever feel welcome. My bed was in the far corner on the right, next to that was the dream monitor used to analyze my dreams every few nights. On the left was my closet, next to it the mirror I was in front now. It wasn't much, but it was the place I felt most welcome. I glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed. It was time.

I descended the stairs fairly quick, already seeing my parents waiting for me all the way down. My mom had dried her tears and tried to smile, she couldn't hide the worry in her eyes though. The same emotion evident in my dad's eyes. 'You ready son?' He asked. I nodded and he did the same. We walked to the station that would bring us to the city hall, it would be about ten minutes until we got there, we didn't say a word during the whole trip, I'm betting it was the most depressing trip to their banquet anyone has ever had before.

The worry in my parent's eyes wasn't for nothing. There was a reason for them to be worried. Not me, I really didn't care. I already knew my life was crap, nothing would change that, it could only be finalized. Aberration's can't get matched, they lost that privilege the day they commit the infraction. Their family however also get's punished. Not in the same way, they still are allowed to attend the match banquet and be matched, but they are still punished. The match of a person who's the brother or sister of an aberration, can refuse them. So my parent's worry was justified. They didn't want me to be refused by my match, because that would mean I would be a Single the rest of my life and they did not want that for me. I didn't worry. It wasn't a possibility I was being refused, I was just going to be and nothing would change that. My life has been planned out already. I would be a Single, avoided, depressed guy for the rest of my life. It sounded pretty pathetic in my ears, but it is what it is. That thought also added to the cheerfulness I already felt for the banquet, which wasn't much.

The city hall was flooded with blue and white lights that made it visible there was something to celebrate. It was impressive and for a moment I could only stare. My parents did as well, they hadn't attended a match banquet, besides their own, before either and it was all new. For a moment I felt a smile spread on my face at the beautiful image of the building. When I remembered why we were here though, it vanished into thin air and wouldn't come back.

Inside it was as amazing as outside. There were tables with white table cloths on it and napkins shaped like swans and flowers. There were lily centerpieces all around and the silver forks, china plates and crystal glasses made it look amazing. I saw girls gazing around them with wondrous expressions on their face and a delighted smile. They would meet their match soon and they would be happy with the guy. They would want to know everything about him and talk to him as soon as possible. I sighed as I took a seat with my parents.

We were first having dinner. All week we had been on modified diets to make sure we could eat what we wanted here. I had hated the diet but right now it all seemed worth it. Maybe coming here wasn't as bad, I thought as I eyed the roasted vegetables, meat and bread on the table. We all ate to our heart's content. Some guys and girls weren't eating, they were too nervous I guessed. Not me, I was loving the taste of the food and savoring it.

After the delicious chocolate cake we had to get ready for the matching.

I had been convinced I wouldn't be nervous. There wasn't much to be nervous about. I would get a match and that was that. Right now I wasn't feeling as steady as normal. I probably wasn't as nervous as some guys, but still a bit fidgety. For the first time since I knew I could be summoned for a match banquet I started envisioning what my match looked like. I imagined her as being blonde with blue eyes. She would be gorgeous and every guy would be jealous of me. I imagined her to be wearing the green dress that fit with my shirt and that she would smile up with me with twinkling eyes. Hey! There's no shame in dreaming.

There was one thing I was afraid of though. Not the part where I would be refused, but the matching part. I was scared of getting a giggling girl. Someone dumb and just plain annoying. What would be even worse was that she wouldn't refuse me and I was tied to her for the rest of my life. I groaned inwardly as my imagination started plotting out the worst case scenarios.

Suddenly it started. They started calling out the

All of a sudden our attention was called to the front. There was a woman who introduced herself and started telling us how important this was for us and our future lives. I ignored her, focusing on the backdrop of the stage. There was a girl and a boy on it, smiling at each other with such sincerity that it just made you hope that was what would be happening.

They started out with the girls in our district. We were closest to the capital, and in that way the most important district. The names of the girls were being called out in alphabetical order and I was getting bored. Every time again the same scene would arise. There was a girl, all nervous and shifting from one foot to another, a boy would appear, they would both smile and blush and it was over. The thought of this being important for our futures became more disturbing with every match. After all the girls from our district were matched, it was the girls from other districts' turn.

I saw girls flash on the screen. Blonde, brown, black and red hair. Blue, brown, green even violet eyes. Faces in all shapes and sizes, smiles, biting of lips, seductive looks which made me want to burst out in laughter. None of them even caught my attention for a second. They were normal, nothing special. That's when I knew that I would never be happy with my match. I mean, if none of these girls even interested me in the slightest bit, why would my match? It was ridiculous.

I started to focus on other things in the room, watching the faces of the people around me, when suddenly another girl popped up. I wasn't sure why I looked back at the screen, maybe out of plain curiosity, or just because there wasn't much interesting to watch other than the stage. But the moment I did, my heart stopped beating for what felt like a whole minute. I couldn't look away. In front of me was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.

Her eyes, a bright emerald green, enchanted me in a way I couldn't describe if my life depended on it. It was like time was frozen, like I lost myself in those eyes and not caring about whatever happened around me. Her pretty face was surrounded by dark, natural, pitch black curls. Her face showed open curiosity, but her eyes also showed caution. She wasn't fidgeting with her dress, she wasn't shifting from one foot to another, she was just standing there, being beautiful.

This girl, I thought to myself. If it isn't this girl, I won't be happy. The force with which the thought appeared startled me. I couldn't deny though, that it was exactly how I was feeling. This girl was supposed to be mine, I needed her, even after just one glance.

Then without any sort of warning, the name of her match echoed through the room.

'Larry Pentin.'

My heart plummeted, crashed and burnt. All my hope of happiness vanished and I knew that my life was officially over.