Aahhh, the once-oneshot-turned-series. Welcome to 'Coming Down' everyone, and might I say it welcomes you all! A warning beforehand: a lot of triggers including the subject of suicide and cutting, things along those lines. I trust that you will review with respect and enjoy my story!

-Chapter Inspired by 'Coming Down' by Five Finger Death Punch-

"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." -Phil Donahue

He ghosted his fingers over the shiny silver case he had resting before him. He had bought it just to ensure he had a way out, a last-ditch effort to keep them away. He plucked the latches opened, and lifted the lip, revealing his brand new hand gun, and it's ammo sitting patiently to be loaded into the gun. He let his apprehensively held breath loose, watching the air around him ripple. He gently ghosted his fingers over the gun, watching it mirror his face. It was all scrunched up, making him look like a pig. He hated it, the look it was giving him, like the others did. He growled at the reflection, and slammed the case shut, snapping the latches closed again. He curled up around the case, rocking back and forth gently.

Why was it so hard to accept that this was right?

He stopped his rocking, and stared out of his bay windows across from him. They showed his small street, leading right up to the high school. He hated that sickening hell hole. He wanted it to burn with all its lies and bullies, its disappointments and long gone causes. The place was the bane of his pitiful, lacking existence. He barely went to school now and any and every time he did, it was reopening and reliving the horrors he was put through. Each punch, each slam, each disgusted word and shout scarred him. He absently ran a hand down his arm, feeling the small scars from releasing the pain from the assaults. They were never his problem, though his brother always thought otherwise.

"What the hell, fratello!" his brother, Lovino, shouted as he tugged hard at his bleeding arm, his other hand holding his razor. He had walked in on him cutting, slicing away his sorrow and scarring himself for life.

"It's none of your business!" he choked out, face set in a manner that seemed both angry and euphoric; the pain of the razor still lingered even as the blood was smeared and caught by the hand now gripping it.

"You're going to kill yourself, what is going on?!" his brother shouted again. Both boys stood their ground. He refused to answer the enraged family member, as he had no business in what he did to himself. He tugged hard, trying to pull away from the hand, to continue his work. The grip only increased, causing small tears to build in his eyes from the sharpness of the unfamiliar feel of real pain.

"Answer me Feliciano, or so help me I will tell Nonno!" Lovino threatened. He wouldn't stop staring at his face, so determined to shake him out of it. Feliciano instead just shook his head, ignoring his brother's pushes. His brother, flabbergasted, let go of the arm and razor, hearing it fall to the ground with a sharp sound. He knew it was pointless now. He set his face a blank as possible, tears breaking through the shield. Lovino pushed the door of the room open, and said the last nice thing he would ever say to him again before leaving.

"Fine. I won't stop you anymore…"

He opened his closed eyes, not a single tear falling down. He never felt anything for that moment now. He knew his family hated him, hated him for coming out of his pit of regret. They were heavily catholic, strictly to the bible, verse by verse. Of course they would hate him for being gay, for being a homo…

And more recently, from almost everyone, a fag.

Fag, homo, sinner, and different; the words they seemed to think described him best. Being different was always the answer for the punishment they dished out onto him. Being different got him shoved into walls and beaten until blue and purple, getting poked and probed by people who claimed they could help but hurt him instead, always hurt and chipped away at until nothing was left. He knew he deserved it, because it would never stop. He would never stop his personal sexuality, so the beatings, the name-calling, hatred and hazing from every corner of his life and community would continue, and it was right. He knew of one way, however, that would get him out of the never-ending cycle of shame and hatred.

The gun was the key to it. To the paradise waiting to take him away from the horrors. It would take him to his true home.

He steadied his sporadic breath and the tears that had begun to fall. He opened the case once more quickly and sealed it shut again, depositing the case back into its hiding spot, behind a panel he cut out of his wall next to his bed. He hid it behind his long abandoned art supplies, and whispered his usual nightly prayers for God to grant him safe passage through the next events.

He crawled into bed and dreamt of long lost memories of childhood. Tears fell without notice as he sank into the arms of his sickly-sweet dreams.

Monday came along once more. The past nights's remembrance of history came full stop as he awoke, scratching at his cutting scars. He slowly prepped himself for his last day at school.

He picked up the long-abandoned backpack from the back of his closet. He would dare walk into the hellhole across the street one last time; to say his goodbyes and to give what he planned to give away before it would be all entrusted to his family. He stuffed his thin binder into the sack, and the few items he would leave in his last surviving and thoughtful friends he could trust in. His small sketchbook full of drawings of people and everyday life, the only set of sheet music he ever owned and composed himself when he was in Music class, a small novelty music box and its key.

The Iron Cross he treasured for his entire life.

He rubbed it once more by instinct before shoving it into his pocket instead. He dressed in his school required uniform quickly, lifted his small blue jacket from its rack, shoved on his brown school shoes and left for the downstairs living room.

To say his small family was surprised to see him downstairs on a school day was the biggest understatement of all time.

His brothers, Lovino and Sebastian, stared at him like he was a ghost come to haunt them, not sure if it was real or not. They simply stammered out bits and pieces of words, trying to comprehend his appearance to the room he now never entered unless he was desperate or it was late and no one was awake. Lovino slowly realized it wasn't a dream, or a figment of his imagination, and sobered up, growling slightly at him before digging back into his usual toast for breakfast. Sebastian too sobered up, smiling sadly at him before returning to his cereal. He was probably the only person to do so in every close circle he used to be in. Their nonno, who had walked in with another plate of toast and bacon, scolded Sebastian for such actions, and simply ignored Feliciano's existence like any other day. Feliciano didn't feel anything for the old fart, anyway anymore. The man had disowned him the day he announced his feelings. He walked around the small family huddle now forming and simply grabbed for a small bottle of water on the fridge door.

"G-good morning Feli" Sebastian said timidly. Feliciano did not look up at the awaiting faces of his family as he withdrew from the fridge, closing the door hard. He opened the bottle, chugged a few mouthfuls, and shoved it into the only intact side pocket of his backpack. He passed the trio once more, and stopped right before the door to the outside.

His hand hovered over the knob, afraid of the consequences of what he was going to do. He closed his eyes, and whispered to himself, 'Never look back'. It kept him going when he doubted his actions. His scars flared up, sending him the signal to go. He could also hear the footfalls of his siblings as they gathered their school supplies to leave for school. He threw the door open, and slowly threw his hood up over his head, covering his curl and his darkened face. He walked slowly down their path, hearing the ruckus of students across the street shout and cackle; the usual banter of a school day morning. The door creaked behind him, signaling his sibling's arrival to the outside. Feli walked calmly to the edge of the road, looked haphazardly both ways, and walked calmly across. Nothing nor no one yelled at him to run, seeing as no one cared for his presence. As he reached the other side, he sneaked a peak to his brothers, who sprinted across as well, but steered clear of him, running up in front of him, chatting like usual.

He accepted the invisibility. It was a welcome silence from the annoying shouting of the others.

Sebastian sneaked a peak as his brother before he ran up to the front steps of the school, joining his friend Peter, and their gaggle of friends. Feli didn't need to watch Lovino as he raced up to meet his group of friends near the gazebo in the school courtyard, and every single one of them both boy and girl hated him. A girl sneered at him as Feli lowered his head, ducking into the courtyard quickly, before anyone else noticed him.

He was clear so far, mounting the steps into the main hall. He let out an unconscious breath as he pushed open the door, only to have it slammed into his face, knocking him to the ground. His hood flung off, revealing his face to the students stepping out.

"Well hi there Feliciano!" cried out one student, a smirk crossing his face. "Long time no see buddy!"

Feliciano sat up shakily, trying to stand back up before they started to continue their ritual on him. His efforts ended in bloody vain as he was shoved down the stairs, and their feet fell upon his face, kicking the crap out of him until each bruise was black and blue and his face was numb. His eyesight was so blurred and displaced; he barely could make out the solid fist making its way to his face as he found a break in the attack. He tried to defend himself, to block it, but he was suddenly hauled upward. Two of the boy's friends had him held upright by his arms, and the flying fist collided hard with his stomach. He kept the rising bile from escaping his mouth, and curled up on himself, refusing to listen to the boy's taunts and comments.

"Enough!"

The boy's assault slowly died down as someone came up to the hustle, breaking up the circling students just watching him be beaten up. One boy hissed out a warning.

"Fuck off, Ludwig. You're not a teacher, so let us get on with 'business'" he said, and the boys holding Feli raised him up. He didn't lift his head to look at the student that stopped the beating, and did not hear the exchange. His savior scoffed at the pathetic bullies, pointing out the sudden ringing above them. The bell for homeroom had gone off, and students watching the transaction slowly slinked in.

"If you're stupid enough to risk being expelled because you're beating Feli up in broad daylight, go ahead. It would be fun to watch the principle and the grounds keepers haul your asses off"

The bullies scrambled to get away, dropping Feli onto his face. Everyone started to bolt inside, some murmuring about the assault while some took pictures. Only a few whispered sorrowfully about it; too little to build any sort of confidence. Feliciano just laid there for a moment, then felt a hand grab his arm. He flinched into it as he was shadowed by a bulky figure. Feliciano finally looked up at him. To say he was amazed at what was helping him, the weak homo, is a bigger understatement then the earlier one.

Soft blonde hair swept back completely from his face, and piercing cerulean blue eyes. Perfect black square glasses framed his face, and a worried frown was fixed on his face. Feli had to do a double take to realize who it was, and how he was suddenly feeling something for him.

It was Ludwig, one of the few people who didn't hurt him, but he didn't seem to completely approve either; a rare middle ground that he liked, he liked a lot. He was also one of the few he was friends with still. He also blushed as he let him rise him off the ground. He never though it would be happening now, his heart beating out of control, blush stretching to his ears as his only best friend pulled him back to unsettled feet. He felt like collapsing onto him, forgetting the horrors of his life, and living it with him.

Lies. It had to be done, he would never like, never feel for him like he did.

"Why did you come back, Feli?" Ludwig asked, watching as Feli pulled the hood back over his head. He lowered his head, trying to block his view of the blush still spread out on his face. He raised his head after a bit, some of the blush still there.

"I don't know why" he confessed. He knew why but it still hurt to think about it. The Iron Cross in his pocket seemed to weigh much more then he thought. How was he going to say goodbye? How was he going to give it all up now?

"We should get to class. Meet me by your locker after school Ludwig?" Feli said, faking a faint smile. Ludwig squinted at him for a moment, and then took hold of his forearm, squeezing it lightly.

"Sure. Just be careful today" Feli nodded feverishly at him, and bolted inside, leaving Ludwig to wonder why he raced back into his personal hell. Feliciano honestly didn't know himself why he did, but he knew he had to get away from Ludwig, before he changed his mind on his plan.

"Don't look back Feli, don't look back" he told himself as he calmly walked into the first mini-hellhole of the eight hour torture.

His first and second periods were living hells, dodging punches and spit balls as the teachers ignored the obvious bullying. His only reprieve from it was when a few females in each class stood up for him once it hit the regular fever pitch, shouting at his tormentors to keep to themselves. These boys always had soft spots for the girls, so they backed down while they protected him, but the notes and snide side comments hit their marks. He barely held tears back as he barreled out of second period, heading for one of his best-but-should-be-worst classes; P.E. He was just glad that his teacher, Mr. Dale, understood his predicament and supported those who were gay. He ran into the locker room, dodging his tormentors and disappearing into Mr. Dale's office, where he was safe. He pressed himself against the door, taking in shallow breaths. He knew he saw Ludwig undressing as he ran, shirtless and buff. Each part of his six-pack somehow gleamed with sweat, and his arms…

Stop. Stop, stop, stop, don't tempt yourself with the untouchable.

"Feliciano! Thank goodness, you're ok!" Mr. Dale cheered from behind his desk, looking at him. Feli opened his eyes and let a very small smile linger on his lips. Mr. Dale tossed him the usual pass, and opened the back door into the hall.

"Just report to fourth when the bell rings, alright?" Mr. Dale said. He knew he needed time, the entire time. Feli adjusted his backpack, thanked Mr. Dale for the help again, and stepped out, shoving the pass into his pocket. The door shut closed, and he turned down the left side of the hallway. Now was the time to give the items to their new items.

Finding Roderich's locker was easy, and opening it even more so. He slid the music sheet, and a prepared note, into it, and shut it silently. Now onto Elizabeta. Her locker wasn't far from Roderich's, and the box and key nestled onto the top shelf. The note would be inside it, he remembered. His next stop was on the other side of school.

Ludwig's locker. He would take a long time to get there, to avoid more torment unneeded in the next period. He slowly started to make his way, mind wandering as he rubbed the Iron Cross in his pocket.

It just felt weird, to fall back in love with one who would never return it, and then never return. He wanted to believe, wanted it to be real, that Ludwig would love him, but the bitter reality was it was wrong. Ludwig was straight, probably disgusted by his homosexuality, but keeping up an appearance to seem like he cared for him still. Keeping up an appearance, that's what he was good at for the past year now. He made himself look ok with all the torment and rejection and isolation, and everyone that abandoned him for being different. Very few cared for him, or just did to get closer and hurt him. Ludwig was the only true person he had left, if he was still true to his cause. He helped him back before he had basically quit school. Now, now he could just be an asshole waiting to strike when they meet up, to push him to the point of just drowning in the lake down the road, leaving no evidence anywhere. He wouldn't need the gun, he could do it. He tightened his grip on the Cross.

The gun would give him time to let his family know he was done.

He barely realized that the next period had begun and was almost done with. He almost completely missed Ludwig's locker too. He ran his hand over the cold metal, and let a few tears release themselves. Now or never, Feliciano, because you won't see him again. He entered Ludwig's combo into his lock and the locker opened easily. He stashed the sketchbook inside, tucking the card inside and letting it stick out like a bookmark. He closed it silently, and leaned onto it. The last moment of pure clarity before the bell rang for everyone's release. He squirmed on the cold metal, crying to fight the last tears starting to fall. There was no point to cry anymore. There was no other way, because everyone would betray him, would hate him, until he did die. When he did leave the so called home, he wouldn't have to worry for his safety. One one will worry for his self-being. No one will remember him anyway when he left, right?

He was a ghost that never found salvation until he killed himself for it.

"Feliciano!" he snapped out of his thoughts, and noticed the lack of students running out of classes. Ludwig stood a few feet from him, looking at him a bit oddly. Feli started to freak out, and jumped off the locker, shoving his hands into his pants pockets again.

"H-Hey Ludwig!" he said as the blonde drew closer. He eyed his locker, then Feliciano.

"Is everything ok, Feli?" he asked quietly. Feli squirmed a bit, blushing again. It was time, after so much convincing. He slowly pulled the Iron Cross out of his pocket, and laid it flat on his palms. He held it out to Ludwig, who look astonished at the string-bound object.

"It's not that I hate you, or anything, Ludwig, but…" Feli started to say, but tears came faster than he thought. He hissed out a warning to himself, and shook as he pushed the necklace closer to its original bearer.

"I…I just…." Feli stuttered out. Ludwig couldn't rip his eyes from Feli's face, watching the tears fall silently, without notice or care. He could barely reach for Feli's face to wipe them away before the boy threw the necklace down at his feet and bolt away, knocking him down in the process.

"I'M SORRY!" followed Feli's footsteps as he sprinted away.

Ludwig was in full protective mode now, because this wasn't normal at all. The cruel realization of what was happening hit him like Feli's goodbye. He bolted upright, grabbing the necklace. He nearly ripped his locker door off its hinges, and a sketchbook flopped in his arms. The note fluttered and wobbled on his arm. He grabbed it, ripped it open, and stared shocked at the words that painted the cream colored paper.

"I wish you good luck without me. I wanted you to have this because you deserved to have it before it's burned in Hell with me or thrown away by my family.

Thanks at least for staying with me to the end. I hope you remember-"

He whipped his phone out quickly, and started to call Elizabeta, hoping she had gotten something of the sort as well. She picked up quickly.

"Ludwig, that god! Did you…"

"Yes, and I'm stopping him. Tell Roderich the same thing. I'm not letting him go yet"

Feliciano was home later than anticipated, and almost slammed his brother into the floorboards as he rushed his front door open. As he stepped inside, everything calmed; his heartbeat, his mind, and the involuntary shaking from his meeting with Ludwig. Lovino had been caught behind it and was slammed to the ground hard. He quickly got up and shouted-cursed at him to stop slamming shit into him constantly and to stop running into him. Feli barely mumbled 'sorry' before quickly walking past him, and mounted the stairs, taking them two at a time, and rushed into his room, closing the door gently.

Now his heartbeat met with his feet as he pulled the gun case out of its hole, and swiped the silver top with his hand. It was time. He unlatched the case carefully, and swept his eyes over the deadly weapon. He sat Indian-style on the ground, and pulled each bullet out, one-by-one, and lined them up; enough bullets to fit the entire chamber. He held a strict face as he loaded one into the chamber.

"Feliciano!" someone was coming up! Feli barely could shove the bullets underneath his blanket which lay next to him before he was pulled upward, gun in his left hand, and pressed up against someone's chest. Their hearts both beat at a mile a minute, both being able to feel it thump against their rib cages. Feliciano didn't need to look up at who was now embracing him for dear life.

"Thank god I caught you, Feli" Ludwig whispered. He pressed him closer to him, resting his head on Feli's quaking shoulders. Feli couldn't stop the shaking. Tears immediately fell down, pouring in great rivers down his face and onto Ludwig's shoulders. Ludwig dug the hand on Feli's back tighter into the already rigid muscle.

"Why would you think of such a thing, Feli? I realize that it seems to be the only way out of it, but suicide never is!" Ludwig said, his voice breaking as rare tears built up in his eyes. He could feel Feli sob hard, and his arms wove around Ludwig, the gun clattering to the ground.

"I don't know what would've happened if you left me…" Ludwig whispered into his shoulder. Feli gasped as the words left Ludwig's mouth. Did he really? Could he, by a long shot…

Feli tightened his grip, finally feeling something besides depression and coldness. He felt warmth, and acceptance. He felt love for once. He hadn't felt these warm emotions for almost a year, and even if they did they were too short to be considered anything.

Now he had a reason to stay, and that reason was holding him.

"I think though I have a solution to get out of all of this, Feli" Both drew back, still holding the other. Germany had his glasses off, and Feli blushed brightly as he met the unobstructed eyes he came to swoon over. Feli titled his head in confusion. Ludwig leaned into his ear, and whispered.

"Come live with my family. They could care less if you're gay" another gasp escaped Feli, and he pulled Ludwig into another hug. He tapped on the blonde's back in their own form of sign language 'yes'.

Feli, right there, was glad that he was rescued. He would have missed everything if he had pulled the trigger. He looked up from the hug, and whispered a 'thank you' to the Lord above. Maybe he really did approve of such things after all.