Title: Running
Category: Orphan Black
Genre: Angst/Romance
Ship: Sarah/Paul
Rating: PG
Warning(s): Spoilers up to 1x07
Word Count: 836
Summary: Sarah's thoughts after saving Paul.
Sarah felt Paul's breath on her neck, his deep breathing signalling that he was asleep. He was wrapped around her like a second skin, her back to his chest, his arms under her neck and around her waist. Normally, that would have made her feel suffocated and confined, but with him it was different. It was becoming something more. She found herself cuddling more firming back against him, trying to tell herself that she was just getting more comfortable, but then his jean clad knee found its way between her legs and his hand moved up under her t-shirt coming to rest on her chest, just over her heart. They were both fully clothed and had shared nothing more then that kiss before succumbing to exhausting and stealing Felix's bed, but it was one of the most intimate moments of Sarah's life. There was no more lies between them and he knew who she was. Sure they still had the past and the future to figure out, but right now, in the present, Sarah allowed herself to feel something entirely foreign to her when it came to men.
She wasn't sure how or when it had happened, but somewhere between the lies and deceit she'd fallen a little bit in love with Paul. The fear she'd felt for his safety after he'd told her to run only confirmed that. Then there was the fact that he'd warned her at all. She'd been waiting for a sign as to what side he would take and hoping - praying - that it would be hers. The plea for her to run had given Sarah her sign and it had taken all of five seconds to figure out what she was going to do. Some of the weight she's been carrying in regards to Paul's loyalties lifted, only to be replaced with worry over the tail-guy, or better yet, the formally tailed guy thanks to Helena, had called.
But, Sarah was done running.
Bugger this, she remembered thinking after Paul's called had ended. She was just starting to get her family back, as well as discovering this whole 'C' word thing and now there was Paul. She had mistakenly thought of him as another boring suit; your typical business man. Easy to fool and control. Boy, had she been wrong. He was far more then that and left her feeling jittery just by his mere presence. He had single-minded intensity that scared the crap out of her, because right now, that single-mindedness was focused on her. She just knew that once he set his mind to something, that was it, he wouldn't stop going after it. For some reason, he also made her feel safe, like he would protect her, like he felt something for her. She knew deep down that he was just as messed up over whatever was going on between them as she was. It was surprising, confusing, unconventional, inconvenient, irrational and left her feeling completely blind sided, but she wanted - needed - to save him. He had tried to do the same for her and now it was her turn. She just plain wanted - needed - him to be near her and she wasn't used to that feeling. When she's seen him tied to the chair, the urge to run to him had almost overwhelmed her. She barely managed to control herself, resigning herself to touching him as soon as he was in reach. He'd leaned toward her, his forehead on her upper arm and she'd turned her back on Olivier, afraid he'd see the storm of emotions crossing her face and use them against her.
They'd gotten out of here by the skin of their teeth. If it wasn't for Helena, Paul would be dead and she'd be God knows where, being experimented on more than likely. She shivered in spite of herself. "Sarah, you okay?" Paul rumbled sleepily, nuzzling at her neck. A small smile graced Sarah's lips at Paul's question. While he'd appeared to be sound asleep, he'd woken at the slightest hint of fear from her.
"I'm okay, Paul," she answered, truthfully. Because she was in that moment, due to the soldier at her back. She reached up under her top and placed her hand on top of his, interlocking their fingers. "It's okay, go back to sleep." He pressed his lips to her neck in acceptance of her words and a soft sigh escaped Sarah before she could control it.
Despite the way it had happened, Sarah couldn't bring herself to regret what was happening with Paul. She still felt guilty about taking Beth's life, but she felt herself becoming a better person as time went on. She was being forced to grow up and that wasn't such a bad thing. In the beginning it had been the break she's been looking for. It was a way to get Fee, Kira and herself a new start, but now it was so much more than that.
Sarah was finally done running.