"Bailey I'm home!" My mom called.

I didn't respond, I just lay on my bed. She had gone to the local chemist to get me a pregnancy test. She had left me a sobbing wreck in a kitchen chair. I gave myself a headache from the crying so went to bed

She walked in my room. "come on lets get this done love" she said softly as she passed me the small paper bag.

I nodded then hauled my body out of bed. I took the bag then opened it up, taking the long flat box out.

I went in to the bathroom and locked the door, my mother waited nervously on the other side.

I undid the cellophane wrapper then took the pregnancy stick out of the box.

"I'm scared mom" I said through the door.

"I know love, I know" she said in reply.

I peed on the stick then popped the cap back on, resting it on the window sill while I washed my hands.

I picked it back up then walked in to my room, my mother was now sat on the bed.

"what does it say?" She asked.

"nothing yet, I have to wait a few minutes" I replied.

"why didn't you tell me Bailey... I thought we were close that you could confide in me about boyfriends and sex." She said sadly.

"we are close, I can confide in you, I just... Its so messed up mom." I answered.

my mom took the test from my hands. I watched her as she looked at it, I saw the disappointment in her eyes.

"your pregnant" she whispered.

Emotion filled every inch of my body.

"nows the time to talk Bailey-Grace!" she said.

I looked up at my mom "his name is Carlos, we were together a few months... Mom... That's Carlos!" I said pointing to the poster of Los.

My mom looked up at my poster. "please tell me you are joking!" She said.

I shook my head. "we got talking online and met up, I lost my virginity to him mom. We loved each other" I explained.

"loved? Bailey what do you know about love? Your 17. All that boy has done is take advantage of you, now look at you. Your life is ruined!" She snapped.

I cried at her words. "he didn't take advantage of me. If anything, I took advantage of him. He broke up with me because I lied about my age, he thought I was 19"

"what is your father going to say when he finds out Bailey?" My mom said.

"mom... Carlos is 23" I blurted out.

"what?!" She said.

"he is 6 years older than me, he is 24 next month" I sobbed.

"Bailey... Dad is going to go berserk!" She said seriously.

"what will happen to Carlos, mom?" I asked confused. I knew that he faced big trouble now.

"I'm not sure honey, Depends if the police get involved" she explained.

"what? The police? No mom... Please, he is a lovely guy mom... I love him, don't go to the police!" I begged.

"Bailey its not me you have to worry about. Your dad is going to want some justice" she said. "what are you going to do?"

"what do you mean... Keep it? Mom! Give me a minute okay! God, my head is so messed up" I replied wiping more tears away.

My mom took a deep breath.

"what will dad do if he knows about Carlos?" I asked.

"he will report him Bailey" she replied.

"are you sure?" I said now sobbing uncontrollably.

"Bailey I'm sure! He used to think you and Dale were... too close. Its taking me all my efforts to not do it... Your my child Bailey Grace, that man has... Corrupted you!" She responded.

"corrupted? He hasn't corrupted me mom, we fell in love" I said placing my hand on my necklace.

"did he give you that?" She asked.

I nodded as tears fell from my face.

"why did you lie about your age to him?" She said taking my hand.

"I wanted to get to know him, I didn't want him to think I was some dumb ass kid... It was Carlos that I went to the recording studio with Dale in LA. He organised it all for me. He was with me when I found out about Gabrielle, he even snuck me up mount Lee and told me he loved me mom... I love him!" I replied and buried my head in my hands.

"how famous is he exactly?" She then asked.

I shrugged "fairly" I replied.

"Bailey, this is hard for me to say but as your mother I think its best if you don't go through with this" she said now wiping her own tears away.

My mom was in catch 22 with this situation, I knew she didn't totally agree with abortion as she couldn't have her own children, and she knows how well adoption can work, but she knew I would never agree to adoption.

"I'm left with two options then huh" I replied.

"what do you feel they are Bailey" my mom asked.

"keep it and risk Carlos going to prison and totally ruining his life, his career, his everything... Or get rid of it and live with my regrets" I said in a whisper.

"abortion is the best thing love... In this situation at least. Dad doesn't have to know then" she replied.

"you won't tell him?" I asked shocked.

"I think its best if we didn't... I can organise everything for you Bailey. You need to forget this Carlos boy" she said.

"organise everything? Mom I'm not sure I know what I want yet... Can't you talk to dad, surely if he knew how much I loved Carlos he wouldn't want to report him." I replied.

"Bailey Carlos is a 23 year old man that has had sex with a 17 year old girl and got her pregnant... where is he now Bailey? Back wherever he lives moving on to the next innocent young girl! Dad is not going to see your romantic visions of falling in love and making a little family." She snapped. "you can do this and start over, a new beginning... We can all have a new beginning!" She added.

"how do you mean?" I asked.

My mom sat silent for a moment. "your dad isn't making the 11 hour plane journey back here for a few days for nothing Bailey... He got offered a permanent position in Japan which he has accepted" she said.

I sat in silence for a moment myself. "so dad is leaving us?" I said horrified.

My mom shook her head. "no honey... We were going to explain things to you when he arrived back home but, well we are moving to Tokyo Bailey-Grace" she said watching me closely for my reaction.

I shook my head. "no... Seriously this is some kind of fucking nightmare right?" I said in disbelief.

"it was a possibility that this would happen when dad took the job on... Just think Bailey you can get away from all of this and start a new life, a new university... A second chance Bailey!"

"why is all this happening?" I said now bawling my eyes out.

"you only have one choice love, living with the regret of an abortion is going to be a lot easier than destroying your own life and Carlos'... Think of it that way. Plus the distraction of a new country, new people, new sights will do you wonders" She said.

I just nodded although I agreed with nothing she was saying

"I will make an appointment for you" my mom said softly, she patted my leg then got up and walked out the room.

I picked up my Carlos build a bear and gave it a hug as I lay down on my bed and cried my eyes out.

My mom popped back up to check on me and fill me in on a few more details, then left me again to my own thoughts.

My mom was right I guessed, what other choice did I have. There was no happy ending in this mess I had created only an easy way out.

I picked my mobile up and phoned Dale, I told him everything, he was so sad that I was soon to be leaving. He even cried!

"Bailey-Grace what am I going to do with out you?" He said sadly.

"I don't want to go Dale. Should I tell Carlos about the baby?" I asked.

"I don't know if it would do any good to be honest. And Gaby hasn't replied to the email you sent?" He replied.

"I've not heard anything from her... Maybe my mom is right, maybe moving away is the right thing to do" I said staring at a picture of Carlos that hung on the wall. "I love him Dale" I said randomly blurting it out.

"I know you do Bailey, your my best friend if I could fix this for you then I would" he said in his kind voice.

"I don't want to have an abortion Dale" I then said.

"did your mom book it?" He asked.

"yeah its in a weeks time... 2 days before we leave for Japan!" I said

"your leaving in a week? What? Bailey you can't, why are you going so quickly?" He asked.

"my dad has a house there already, my mom just needs to pack a few essentials then the rest will get shipped out."

"this can't be happening Bailey-Grace" Dale replied.

"nothing is gonna save me Dale," I said with a fresh batch of tears falling from me as I still looked at Carlos in his poster on my wall.

Days passed quickly, far too quickly for my liking, Carlos had sent me the odd text asking how I am and stuff, I didn't reply but the day he tried to phone me I decided it best to block his number before I tell him everything and create a fiasco. I blocked him on twitter too, I'm sure after a few months in Japan after not seeing, speaking or hearing from him then things will get easier.

the days leading up to my doctors appointment came round even quicker, I was lectured on underage sex, safe sex and made to feel like I was a complete whore, the doctor handed me a pill.

I sat in a chair in the doctors room and looked at the pill I had been given in a small plastic tub, the pill looked fairly large and white.

"you will have to take a second one 48 hours later" the doctor said.

"we are flying to Japan but I will make sure she takes it" my mom said to the doctor as he handed her the small packet which contained the last death warrant pill for my baby.

I handed the empty plastic tub back to the doctor, in return he handed me a glass of water.

"you will experience cramping pains like you would find with your period, if you have any of the side effects listed on this then come back and see us" the doctor said handing me a leaflet.

I nodded.

"lets get you home then love" my mom said wrapping her arm around me.

the day of my departure came, I glanced at my phone for some sign of a miracle. There was only one notification which was my email one, I clicked on it only to get rid of the icon, I was expecting some random debt helpline email, or how I could lose 10lbs in a week, that was the usual shit I received, But what I had been sent was something very different. It was labelled 'sorry' in the subject title and was from Gabrielle Edwards.

"I can only begin with sorry, if you only understood then maybe this would make sense. Your my sister and I love you, of course I do Bailey-Grace. Things aren't what they seem. I'm not a safe person to be around. I honestly feel that we are better off staying apart. I'm sending this just to say its nothing you have done. You are truly lovely Bailey-Grace. Maybe one day things will be different. Gaby x x x" it said.

I read it again. It couldn't make less sense if she tried, what was she? some member of the mafia? She lived on a farm for Christs sake and was home schooled, how dangerous could she be for me? The email pissed me off as it sounded like a crappy excuse.

I turned my phone off and allowed the notion of moving away to Japan make me feel better.

My mom seemed excited as we made our way to the departure gate. "how are you feeling love?" She asked.

I shrugged.

"dad said the house is nice" she continued trying to sway my thoughts to fun ones.

My dad didn't come back in the end as my mom had already told me about the move, so it was just me and her flying out. Dad would be there to greet us on the other side.

"he said most the kids can speak English at your new school so that's good huh" she said.

I was just about to reply when I thought I heard someone call my name. I turned and scanned the large airport terminal, I couldn't see anything.

"I guess I should buy a Japanese phrase book though?" I replied to my mom, as I heard my name called again.

"BAILEY! BAILEY-GRACE!" I heard shout from the north of the terminal.

Both my mother and I turned to see a very out of breath Dale.

Dale rested his hands on his knees as he caught up to us, he tried desperately to suck in the air he needed to talk with.

It was then I saw a familiar face behind him, beautiful brown eyes, gorgeous dark skin. He jogged up gracefully towards us, not even out of breath.

"Los!" I said, I felt my mothers eyes on me as she realised who it was.

"why are you here?" I said to him.

Carlos beamed his gorgeous smile at me "because of this!" He replied and handed me a piece of paper.

I unfolded it and read what it was. "oh my god!" I said then passed it to mom.

My mom read the letter then screamed in excitement and hugged me.

I had been offered to go and chat with Sony as they would like to sign me to their label... My demo's had finally come up trumps.

"I tried phoning you, but I couldn't get through, then I went to your house but there was a for sale sign up... Only person I could think of to reach you was Dale" Carlos said. His eyes telling me how much he missed me.

"I'm going to Japan though" I said looking at Carlos, I turned to my mom who beamed with pride still reading the letter again.

"Bailey you can't go to Japan!" Dale said. "you can't pass up this opportunity... Not Sony, Bailey! You would be insane to not do it" he added.

"mom?" I said looking to her for some indication if what I should do.

"Dale is right, you can't not do this Bailey... Erm... I will phone grammi, you could stay with them?" She said.

"in Louisiana?" I said horrified. "I might as well go to Japan" I added.

"well she could stay at my parents house" Dale said out of the blue.

My parents knew Dales family fairly well from all the concerts we had performed in together, my mom was friends with his mom, but my mother looked sceptical at this moment in time.

"call and ask" Dale then said thrusting a ringing phone in her face.

My mother took the phone, once she began talking she turned her back and wondered off.

"I'll give you guys some space" Dale said looking at Carlos and I then walked off with my mother as she chatted on the phone.

"how have you been?" He asked.

"lousy... I've missed you so much Los" I said now with the familiar sting of tears in my eyes.

he gave me a small smile. "I spoke to James about you, he thinks I was stupid if I give up on us for the sake of 4 months until your birthday"

"and what do you think?" I asked softly.

Carlos gave a little shrug with a smile. "I think I agree with him" he said.

emotional tears then left my eyes. "really?" I replied, my hands shook as adrenalin ran through them.

"I love you Bailey" Carlos whispered.

I walked in to him and put my arms around him. He wrapped me in his. "I'm sorry I lied" I said in his ear.

"don't be... your my destiny Bailey-Grace" he said then pulled out of our hug as my mother returned. She had an arse face on her as she saw the contact between Carlos and I.

"you will stay with Dales parents, you will have a curfew of 9pm each evening, you will go to uni and come straight back, do you understand Bailey?" She said giving her orders.

I nodded like a happy dog, she could of said bed at 7pm each night and I still would of smiled.

I was staying in the USA! And staying in California. I had Carlos back, I was deliriously happy.

I was an emotional wreck as I then said goodbye to my mother, she said she would be back soon to see me and check on the sale of our house.

I cried my heart out as I said goodbye to her.

"oh Bailey! You will need this" she said reaching in to her purse and pulling out the box with the pill, I stuffed it in my own bag.

"take care love... See you soon" she said giving me one last hug then left through the departure gate.

Dale drove Carlos and I back to his house.

"Dale is it okay if we stop off somewhere... I need to speak with Los." I said to him.

"sure that's fine, my mom is expecting us soon though" he said.

Dale ended up taking me back to my home, it was a good choice, I still had my key so let Carlos and I in. A lot of our stuff sat in boxes ready to be shipped, I guessed I would have to sort mine out now I was staying in America.

Carlos took my hands "I'm sorry I hurt you" he said.

"I'm sorry I lied" I replied.

"Bailey I don't ever want to be without you, I want to share my life with you! the past week has been a nightmare, I love you Bailey-Grace"

"I love you too... Carlos I need to tell you something" I said softly.

"what's wrong?" He asked looking at the worry that I now wore on my face.

I pulled the small box out from my hand bag and gave it to Carlos.

"what is it?" He asked reading the long medical name on the packet. "are you sick?" He asked concerned.

"its an abortion pill" I replied.

Carlos just stared at me.

"That's the final pill I have to take" I added.

"oh Bailey..." Carlos said rubbing his thumb on my hand.

"Los I didn't take the first one... I'm pregnant Carlos" I replied and looked in to the brown eyes of the man I loved.

to be continued...