It was that time of year again. The one day out of the year that she always hated. She grimaced as she forced her eyes open, a small slither of light peeking through the curtains and covering her face. She rolled over to find the other side of the bed cold and empty. She rolled out of bed and trailed to the bathroom to go about her morning routine, struggling to find any motivation. She really wish she could miss this day out completely.

She woke with a start, sitting upright and reaching to rub away the tears welling up in her eyes. The nightmare had returned, right on time. The same night, every year. It was getting a bit boring actually, but it didn't mean it still didn't break her heart at the replay of the night that changed everything. She got out of the bed, careful not to wake up the still sleeping figure next to her, and headed for the living room. This was going to be a long day...

5 years ago...

The only thing that could be heard over the ringing in her ears was sound someone crying next to her. She blinked a few times to try and clear her mind and focus on the source of the crying. As she lifted head, she could feel a sharp pain shoot through her left side. She heard shuffling and felt someone help her up into a sitting position.

"Oh my God, Chloe! Thank God you're okay! I was so worried and you were just... You were just lying there, and you weren't moving, and... And I thought he'd got you too," she choked out through her tears.

"Wha-what do you mean, g-got me too?" she questioned as she looked up at Beca, seeing that she had now found an interest in her Converse "Beca, baby, what happened? Why are my ears ringing? Where... Where's Lucas?" Beca broke down uncontrollably at the mention of their four year old son's name. "Beca, where is he?"she asked again, growing more concerned at the fact the brunette wouldn't look at her.

"He's gone, Chloe. Our son is- He's dead. Some guy came in, and he was shooting, and you jumped to save him but he got to him first." Chloe just looked at Beca, not being able to comprehend what she was saying. "He-he shot our son, Chloe! You tried to save him, but he pushed you out of the way, and he just shot him and walked away." Chloe was now also in tears, clinging to Beca for dear life. "I think you being in such close proximity to the shooting and the way your head hit the concrete is why your ears are ringing." Chloe just nodded in agreement, numb from what she had just been told.

"Can I see him? Is he here? I want to see my son," she rambled as she tried to stand, but collapsed to the ground again at the sharp pain running down her left side. "I want to see him, Beca. Where is he? I want to see my son!" Beca helped her to her feet and carried her the short distance to where she had moved Lucas, already anticipating the redhead's reaction and not wanting her to see him right away.

As soon as they rounded the corner and Chloe made eye contact with the lifeless young body on the ground, she instantly fell to her knees, ignoring the pain it caused her in favour of scooping her dead son's body into her arms. Beca could only look on in despair at her wife and son. She knew that she had not only lost her son, but her wife as well. There was no way they would be able to recover from this.

As she crossed the short path from the living room to the kitchen, she could hear Chloe quietly chatting to someone on the phone. She could only assume it was Aubrey. She braced her shoulder against the wall, out of sight of the redhead and listened in to the conversation.

"I can't do this anymore, Bree. I can't keep dragging her along like this, it's not fair. I can't change what happened, I can't bring him back, but it's just not fair on Beca that I keep this going. What happened that day ruined us, we never recovered from it, and I don't think we ever will."

What does she mean? What is she talking about? Is she leaving me? Oh God, please no. I already lost our son, I don't need to lose her too. These were just some of the thoughts running through her head as she continued to listen to her wife on the phone to her best friend. She can't leave me...

She heard Chloe say her goodbyes, and thought was a safe time to enter the kitchen. "Hey," she said cautiously, not wanting to startle her.

"Hey," she answered, turning round to face the brunette. "look, I know you were listening in on my conversation with Aubrey." Shit. How does she do that? "I just wanted you to know, I don't wanna have to do this, Beca. It hurts too much. Seeing you every day, it just reminds me of him, and I just... I can't keep dragging you on like this, it's not fair to you. You've always been there for me, but since that day, I've not been there for you. Sure, we can keep on living like it didn't happen, but I don't wanna do that. You deserve better. I'm so sorry, Beca," she was barely whispering now, struggling to keep her emotions under control. As soon as she looked up at her wife, the dams broke, and all the pent up tears just spilled out.

"Look, I know this is difficult. He was my son too. But I can't lose you, Chloe. We made a mutual promise to always be there for each other, and I'm gonna keep up my end of the deal, as long as I get to keep you. I know you haven't been there for me, but Chloe, What you have to understand is that I don't really care about me, I care about you. I always have, and I always will. I can't lose you, it would just be too much," she quivered, joining Chloe in the tearfest. She walked over and wrapped her arms around the redhead, holding her in a steady grip as Chloe proceeded to bury her head into Beca's chest. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she felt more than heard Chloe mutter into her chest through her tears.

"We're going to be okay," she whispered into her wife's hair. "We're going to be okay."

God, how she wishes that statement were true.