This has gone too far.
These five words echoed sourly in Shepard's head as she slowly breathed in and out in the briefing room, her nails digging into the table in the middle of the room. Pretending the issue had never piqued her curiosity would be just that, pretending. She was still curious actually, as a matter of fact. But that glaring hole in the landscape of her knowledge had never obsessed her like it did her crew.
The subject had leisurely wormed its way into everyday conversation and she now couldn't come within earshot of anyone but a precious few without it being brought up. Gone was the threat of the Collectors; only that insufferable question remained. She was pretty sure she had seen sketches relating some people's guesses, too. Sketches. Shepard had patience, that she hadn't yet punched any councilor in the face proved it. But it wasn't infinite and it had just worn thin.
"Everyone in the briefing room right now," she growled through the intercom.
EDI popped up above the table. "There isn't enough room for..."
Shepard glared.
"...yes, commander."
She nodded in satisfaction before running a hand through her hair with a sigh. She needed to be calm... if only for a few minutes. Her thoughts wandered to the few who had remained cool-headed in an attempt to compose herself.
She suspected Samara wanted to beat everyone's face in as much as she did but resisted the urge because of her code or just otherworldly fortitude. She was surprised Mordin never involved himself in the endless debates that raged through the ship but was extremely thankful he didn't. Legion just crept everyone out and nobody bothered him. As for Tali, she had somehow managed to make herself scarcer than Kasumi herself.
She couldn't blame her.
Footsteps and hushed voices soon filled the room and only when EDI had confirmed the last crewmen had arrived, standing on their toes or hopping about in the corridor beyond as they pried above the throng of people, did Shepard deign look up from troubled contemplation.
"This," she said with a tone that allowed no interruption, "has gone too far. Your curiosity has outlasted its welcome. It has hampered the entire mission. You care too much about it and not enough about what's at stake."
Shepard slammed her hands on the table and glared furiously at everyone around her. Some of them looked ready to faint, or at least cry.
"So I'm going to answer your goddamn question right now. EDI, scour the extranet from the end of the nineteenth century. Human common era."
"What for?"
Shepard smiled mirthlessly before answering with a twinkle in her twitching eye, a deranged voice and an expression belonging more to a lunatic on the edge than a military officer.
"Quarian porn."
A sound no organic should be able to make pinpointed Tali's location in the crowd.
A moment later, howls and screeches filled the shell-shocked room as a three-dimensional scene of pure carnality blinked into life high above the table for everyone to see.
"Mother of-"
"How-"
"Son of a-"
"My eyes-"
"Is that a geth-"
"Does it have two-"
"Why-"
"It can't be-"
"Is that another geth-"
"That's enough EDI," Shepard finally said, and the scene vanished. "That's what quarians look like without their suits on, so now get out and go back to work!"
It took a few seconds for the traumatized crew to leave, some needing to be dragged out because they were petrified or had fainted, until only Samara, Mordin and Legion remained in sight.
"Brought back some good memories," confessed Samara with a soft smile.
"Quarians added great things to galactic erotica and pornography," commented Mordin with a nod. "Need for suits shame for all galaxy."
"These creators have largely been forgotten by their own people, but not by the geth," added Legion.
Her irritation abated and her wrath fulfilled, Shepard allowed herself to laugh. But as they left the room and the lights went off, she couldn't help but feel she had forgotten something... something important.
She never noticed the huddled up quarian rocking back and forth on the floor by the wall, very shakily whispering "not supposed to go there... not supposed to go there!" to herself.