A/N: Rewrite rampage! He's a madman; nothing can sate his bloodlust! No one is safe until he is done! Hide ya kids, hide ya wife, hide ya ass, there's nothing you can do!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

"Human speech"

'Human thought'

"Jutsu/Demon/God speech"

'Demon/God thought'

Let's begin

They had him cornered. They wanted blood. He was eight years old, there was fuck all he could do to stop them, so they were getting it.

Jashin told him this day was coming; she was always right. For once, Uzumaki Naruto really wished she wasn't.

Three years ago, Naruto snuck into the library to escape the heavy rain, and he looked around for something to read to pass the time; the matron at the orphanage was obligated to teach him to read and write, though she obviously wasn't happy about it. Not much called to him, until he found a black book with a simple red symbol of an inverted triangle within a circle. Looking inside, he found it was a book on Jashinism, a cult to the titular deity Jashin, god of slaughter and destruction, who took whatever form he/she/it pleased, but that specific book was an edition that portrayed them as female. Fascinated by it, Naruto read and read, becoming engrossed in the crimson ways of the religion, its various epithets and tenets carving themselves upon his psyche and sense of self, a blank slate without the knowledge of right and wrong.

Shinobi were murderers and thieves and liars, so you could damn well call this the religion of shinobi.

Then the book changed. It began to speak. Blank pages that weren't there before formed words in front of his eyes; the words of Jashin herself. She spoke to Naruto, said that she had been watching him. Eventually, she manipulated the book so images appeared that showed her various forms; a young-looking man, an admittedly cool-looking wolf, an odd three-legged raven, and a beautiful woman. When Naruto said he liked that form, she was amused and said it was her most preferred form, the form she felt most comfortable in, so she would stay in it when speaking to him.

Being who he was, Naruto treasured his talks with Jashin, carrying the book with him everywhere, turning into a real hellion when the mere idea of someone taking it from him reached his ears.

Jashin told him everything. His parents, the Kyuubi, the villagers, all of it. Rightfully, Naruto was filled with rage, mostly directed at Konoha; it would be rather stupid to hate dead people. Besides, his father's fumbles let him meet Jashin, so it was probably for the best, as he could never imagine a life without her now. Naruto didn't know what to feel about the Kyuubi, so he didn't try to reach out to it.

But Jashin told him of a day, a time where he could meet her, speak with her, receive her gift.

The day he died.

Obviously, he couldn't take his own life or actively seek out villagers to do the deed to meet her sooner, it needed to happen naturally; Jashin was fickle like that. But this was it; they were already coming down on him, weapons, fists, and angry words at the ready.

It happened faster than he expected, but to his body it felt like an eternity; there wasn't a shinobi among them, this time, so they had to make do with pocketknives and broken bottles, as well as the rare kitchen knife. Through it all, Naruto smiled; he would be meeting his lady, so he was content. Obviously, this infuriated his attackers, and they increased their attacks, thereby speeding along his end and ironically increasing his smile, creating a cycle that brought his death soon enough.

Naruto could feel his life slipping; it wasn't an altogether pleasant sensation, but necessary. His body was growing cold, his mind dark, his senses dulled.

The ground was getting rather comfortable, and he was feeling rather sleepy. Maybe... just a short nap.

(Limbo)

Naruto shot up into a sitting position when he felt himself shift, immediately looking around. He found himself on a slab of what appeared to be granite in the middle of a white desert, a dead tree before him, a familiar figure leaning against it.

It was Jashin in her most lovely form. She was over 6' tall and had an air of nobility, and yet also mischief, about her. Her hair was a smooth obsidian river, hanging to just under her shoulders, with a set of spikes flaring out on top. Her skin was grey and she bore a crown floating over her head, a red construct of spiked stone, a beauty mark appearing under her right eye, both of which were pure black with slits pupils that glowed like fire, her lips black with dark lipstick. She wore a cloak that functioned just short of an open robe, meeting just below her waist, trimmed with fur, the back of it reaching down to her calves. She wore a red beaded necklace that circled her neck and had a length going down between her large breasts that were nearly half-exposed from her cloak and ducking below the cloak, a fact she pointed out when Naruto dared to ask, something that reddened his face something fierce. Lastly, she went barefoot, and all her nails were black.

"Greetings, Naruto-kun; it is nice to finally meet you and speak, instead of talking through a book." Jashin greeted him, her voice lustrous and soothing, a beautiful sound to Naruto's ears.

"Hello, Jashin-sama, I feel the same." Naruto responded, a genuine smile on his face as he met her.

"I'm sure you know where we are, and why you're here." Jashin said, gesturing around them with an amused, if coy, smirk.

Nodding, Naruto looked around again. All that could be seen for miles was white sand and some dead trees. "This is the end of everything. The land where silence fell. Your playground, correct, Jashin-sama?" He asked knowingly.

Contrary to popular belief, the land humans knew as 'Limbo' was not a world between life and death, or a place of judgement or what have you. No, Limbo was once a bustling reality, much like the human world or Makai. But then, a great tear opened in the sky, and much like Naruto said, a harrowing silence fell on this world, a blackness that snuffed out all life and even leeched it from the very earth. This was all that remained. Centuries after that, when Jashin... appeared? Happened upon? Even she didn't know how it happened; how did gods form, anyway? Were they mortally born and rose to godhood; did they simply exist when some great design deemed it so? A question for greater men than him, and more patient men than her. Anyway, Jashin took dominion over this plane and ferried the souls of humans who piqued her interest in life, and she did all manner of things to them, but all eventually ended in wholesale slaughter as she grew bored of them, sometimes more than once, bringing them back just to kill them again.

"I'm dying, then? What can be done?" Naruto asked, not really worried. If he lived again, then perhaps he could gain strength to rise against those that hated him because they were consumed by sorrow. If he died, then perhaps he could simply stay here with Jashin-sama. Either way, he would be content.

"Don't worry, Naruto-kun; even as we speak, your body is being altered to suit your gifts. As I told you, I will make you my second avatar in the human realm; you will be my will made manifest on the earth, a specter of slaughter and bloodshed. Unless... you do not want that?" Jashin always gave her disciples a choice. While the one before Naruto didn't receive the full boon, what they received was enough to please Jashin, especially with the daily sacrifices.

Yes, Hisana was a mighty fine follower. Perhaps she and Naruto could work together? Food for thought.

Eyes wide in indignation at the mere thought of refusing anything of Jashin-sama, Naruto shook his head vehemently. "No, Jashin-sama, I will be glad to receive any and everything you deem me worthy of!" He responded.

Laughing haughtily, Jashin shrugged. "I know, Naruto-kun, it's just how I usually work. Unlike my previous avatar, you will be receiving my entire boon, which starts with this." Jashin reached out and black smoke formed from the air and flowed into her hand, stretching out in both direction before it dispersed, giving way for what lay within. A crimson spine formed the snaith of a deadly scythe in Jashin's hand, with a ribcage above the center of it, a black orb in the center of the bones, extra 'ribs' made more like claws grasping at the orb; Naruto thought he saw some of them twitch, like insect legs. As for the skull up top, red thorns were stabbed through the bone, creating a rather painful copy of Jashin's crowns from before, black smoke pouring from its mouth and forming the blade of the scythe, two progressively smaller blades under the main one also made from the smoke. "I give to you my weapon of choice; may you use it to its true intent." Jashin said, holding it out to him.

Arms outstretched, Naruto caught and held the weapon reverently, looking upon it like the divine object it was. "Th-thank you, Jashin-sama! I will use it in your name!" He declared with a deep bow.

"I know you will, Naruto-kun. You will receive three last gifts, the next of which you could think as three on its own. You will receive what you humans call Kekkei Genkai, three of them: Ketton, Kuuton, and Shikotsumyaku." Jashin informed him.

Silent, Naruto thought over these 'gifts.' In the book they met in, there were various entries of notable Jashinists that were gifted with, and rarely already bore, one of these abilities; the highly successful Ketton users that could utilizing their Jujutsu while moving, the goliath-like Kuuton bearers, and many Kaguya, and even non-Kaguya thanks to her, who slew many foes with their weaponized bones. "If you will it so, I will graciously accept these gifts, Jashin-sama." He accepted submissively, his many talks with Jashin engraining such things into him.

"Of course. And the next gift, you won't actually be able to get yet; that will require many of my other followers. Once you can meet up with them, they'll begin the immortality jutsu experiment; you will be the only other of my followers to be given such an offer. We'll work on that in the coming future. The last gift, you may enjoy most of all: my presence." Jashin took some kind of joy at Naruto's alighted expression. "I'll be giving you a fraction of my being to be with you always; you'll need someone to teach you about your abilities. I can't just have you go around knowing the basics and settling for that; you will be my strongest avatar, and that requires my guiding hand." She explained.

"J-Jashin-sama, thank you! I am honored you would do this for me!" Naruto responded, bowing multiple times, like a good servant.

Another reason Jashin liked Hisana, and now Naruto.

"I knew you would. Now, your body is just about finished being repaired and changed, so our time here is down. Be seeing you on the other side, Naruto-kun." Jashin bade him farewell, sauntering towards him and lifting his chin up to give him a chaste kiss, finalizing the process of imbuing her essence within him.

(Alleyway)

In the dark alley where Naruto supposedly died, his body was picked up in a flurry of his own blood, much of which was spilled from the attack, his bones sprouting and separating from themselves, all of it molded by divine black chakra into a new set of clothes for Naruto, clothes worthy of the avatar of Jashin herself.

Now several inches taller, about as tall as an above-average 8 year old, like Naruto should be, were it not for the village stunting his growth, the blonde was clad in a red, hooded cloak that reached mid-shin with white trim on the bottom and short sleeves, his white shirt underneath repaired and untouched. His arms from the elbows down were clad in black fingerless gloves with red bands down them, and his pants were completely replaced, now red with a white sash at the waist, and black shin-high sandals with more red bands on them. Anything red was Naruto's blood, and anything white was his bone, turned into fabrics with Jashin's extremely fine chakra manipulation, and the gloves and sandals were entirely formed from her chakra. The bones from his sternum and collarbone formed a Jashinist necklace for him, which dangled around his neck now, and a collection of black smoke formed above him and turned into Jashin's scythe, which fell onto him, waking him up.

Eyes snapping open, Naruto shot up into a sitting position, sending the weapon tumbling forward, which he noticed and gasped, rolling after it and catching it just before it touched the ground; such a holy item should not be sullied by the earth. Sighing in relief, Naruto got to his feet and began to walk out of the alley, thankful the sudden growth spurt didn't mess up his ability to walk too much; he only stumbled a little bit before he got everything under control, sticking the weapon to his back with the extremely rudimentary knowledge of chakra he had, Jashin having not done much for him in that regard since she planned to do it when he became her avatar.

"Don't worry, Naruto-kun, we'll fix that soon enough." Jashin's cooing, sensuous voice answered him from within.

Even though he knew she'd be there, Naruto still jumped in surprise. "J-Jashin-sama! Very well, I suppose; when exactly will that be, actually?" He asked.

"We'll begin your training from this day on, possibly once you return home. But first, you'll need to come in here and speak to the Kyuubi." Jashin said, knowing Naruto's exact reaction.

Paling to nearly pure white, Naruto's eyes went wide. While he loved Jashin, he also feared her, but it was a respectable fear; the Kyuubi, on the other hand, is an object of pure, abject terror. Not to say he feared it more than he feared Jashin, but she was obviously an ally, while the Kyuubi was more likely a universal enemy of all things human. Container or not, he feared it. 'A-are you sure, Jashin-sama? Perhaps it would be best to leave it alone.' He responded weakly.

Incredibly amused by his terror, Jashin played her part. "Are you defying me, Naruto-kun?" She responded with a deadly tone in her still-amorous voice.

Paling to pure white this time, Naruto shook his head, which looked quite hilarious considering he was alone in an alleyway. 'N-no, Jashin-sama, I would never! I-it's just... what if it tries to attack me?' He asked.

"You have nothing to fear with me here, Naruto-kun; I am a goddess. Besides, the seal your father made makes sure it can't touch you. Now go home so you can enter the seal safely." Jashin responded, easing his fears and allowing him to agree to this.

Ignoring the glares and whispers he got, as always, Naruto ran home, thankful the chakra sticking the scythe to his back kept it from jangling around. Bursting into his house and locking the door behind him, Naruto sat on the old couch in his living room and immediately passed out.

(Mindscape)

Opening his eyes, Naruto found himself in a place akin to a sewer, or perhaps the basement of some industrial warehouse. There was ankle-high water in the passageway, but Naruto didn't feel his feet become wet; it was a weird sensation that didn't line up with his brain. There was no light, but Naruto could see all the same; just when he thought that, a red light turned on down the way, and he walked towards it, thinking that was probably where the Kyuubi, and Jashin, were.

Happening upon massive iron bars that arose to the ceiling shrouded by darkness, Naruto was incredibly tense, until he sensed the soothing presence of his goddess appearing behind him. Before he could turn to greet her, Jashin apparently leaned down to wrap her arms around his shoulders her breasts pressed against his back, and her face popping over his shoulder, a coy smile on her face. "Hello again, Naruto-kun. So good of you to join us; I was just engaging Kurama-san in a lovely conversation about your training schedule." She said.

"Uh... Kurama?" Naruto questioned, not knowing who that could be.

"I believe you know him as the Kyuubi." She elaborated, turning her gaze to the darkness behind the bars, a large pair of crimson eyes with slit pupils giving her a dirty look.

"Do not throw my name around so easily, Jashin." The Kyuubi chastised, knowing there was nothing it could really do in the face of a goddess; granted, she couldn't do much to him, either, due to the seal. The Shiki Fuujin was the work of the Shinigami, and Jashin couldn't interfere with the work of another deity; however, the Hakke no Fuin Shiki was man-made, something she could manipulate with ease.

"Oh don't be like that, Kurama-kun; you should get to know your jinchuriki, starting with giving your name. He's going to be nice and strong one day, so that should look good on you." Jashin responded, working the Kyuubi's pride against it.

It didn't work. "I would also look like a bijuu that seems quite fine with having a religious loon for a container. And never call me that again." 'Kurama' bristled at the familiar way Jashin spoke, knowing it was to specifically get under his skin.

Well he's a mass of chakra, so technically he doesn't have skin, but you get it.

Jashin merely chuckled haughtily. "Needs must, you could say. Besides, there isn't much you can do about it, anyway. Naruto will become my avatar; isn't that right, Naruto-kun?" She asked the blonde.

"Yes, Jashin-sama! I will become strong to be a respectable avatar for you." Naruto proclaimed determinedly.

"There's a good boy." Jashin rewarded him with a kiss on the cheek, giggling when he did his best to become a tomato.

Kurama sighed heavily. "Fine, I suppose I'll have to deal with it; not much choice I'm given here, am I?" He was forced to agree, an unseen light coming on to reveal the Kyuubi no Kitsune in all its splendor. "Ningen, Jashin has already manipulated your fathers part of the seal, so while you have access to more of my chakra, you will still need to pit your willpower against mine for control of it. All I demand is that you not embarrass me too much with your fanaticism." The Kyuubi said.

"Aw, but that's not fun, then. I'm actually quite amused by my more fanatic followers." Jashin moped, complete with pout. Suddenly she had a face that said she realized something. "That reminds me; Naruto-kun, one of my other followers gifted with immortality will be joining you in the future." She added.

"Oh? What for, Jashin-sama?" Naruto asked inquisitively.

"Why, destruction of course! It's in the title." She answered gleefully, getting a sweatdrop and a chuckle from the blonde. "She'll also be bringing a contingent of my people for the experiment to make you immortal, as well." She added.

"Very well, Jashin-sama. Can you tell me anything about them?" Naruto asked.

"Hmm... Hisana is from Yugakure no Sato, a land that was once a shinobi village, but they decided to forgo violence and became peaceful; the village that has forgotten wars. Hisana was a real firecracker of a rare breed, and after she was inducted into our ways and made a successful experiment of our secret techniques, she slaughtered her neighbors and left. Her most amusing quality is her extreme propensity for swearing; it's gotten a chuckle out of me many a time." Jashin supplied, giggling at memories.

Chuckling, Naruto pat one of her arms still around him. "She sounds very interesting; I'd be glad to meet her. So, you mentioned we would begin training?" He asked, as eager as his tempered personality cultivated by Jashin allowed.

Finally releasing him, Jashin stood to her full height, hand on her hip as she smirked at Naruto's eagerness, blatant to her. "Yes, we shall be training you in everything; considering your current age, your Hokage will probably come to you to enroll you in the Academy. That shall give us four years, to graduation, to train in your body, your chakra control, your ability to combat Kurama-san's willpower in controlling his chakra, and your Kekkei Genkai." Jashin listed off.

Sighing, seeing there was nothing he could do in the face of such monumental tasks in so short a time, Naruto shrugged and nodded. "Very well, Jashin-sama. Shall we begin?" He asked somewhat rhetorically.

The grin that formed on the goddess' face wasn't entirely good for his thoughts on the coming training.

(One year after the incident)

As was expected, Jashin was the slave driver of slave drivers, and it wasn't entirely helped by Naruto's near-fanatic desire to obey everything she said, even the more ludicrous exercises, both physical and chakra-related. The latter wasn't helped when Kurama graciously told Naruto of the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, something he remembered from his previous two containers, Naruto's mother and the Shodaime's wife; utilizing that, Jashin had Naruto up his chakra control exercises to insane levels, resulting in massive headaches when he dispelled multiple clones doing too-different things. But it was worth it, since Naruto's chakra control rocketed up to 'not entirely shit,' according to Kurama's comments.

The physical exercises, on the other hand, resulted in many broken bones, bruised... everything, and even a few severed limbs; thankfully, what little of Kurama's chakra he could control before they got to the main part of that section of his training allowed him to 'heal them back on' even better than his body passively healed when put where they belonged, so he just needed to put the hacked-off chunks back in place and they'd heal just fine. Anyway, Naruto picked himself right back up and threw himself back into the training, steering clear of whatever liberated him of an integral part of his body.

The results were absolutely grand, stripping him of any baby fat and building muscle that compressed into his body instead of growing outwards, creating the picture-perfect build to make training in speed a worthwhile investment. The only real negative of that was his new fanclub, formed both from his physique and his repeated trouncing of the previously-alone class dreamboat - ooooohhh, he felt dirty now... - Uchiha Sasuke. A contingent of his fangirls broke off and went for Naruto, something wholly unwanted by all parties of cohesive thought, though Jashin found it hilarious. It was also sort of creepy considering they were all 9...

Anyway, when his body was in the appropriate condition, Jashin started him on the so-called bukijutsu training, which confused Naruto greatly. When asked, Jashin explained that the scythe she gave him wasn't just a scythe; it could transform into any weapon imaginable, often following the same macabre theme. As such, Naruto would need to end up training in every weapon style imaginable, which was an obviously daunting task, but something Naruto was intent to do, as long as Jashin wished it. Obviously, he started with ogamajutsu, finding that, despite its size, the scythe was relatively lightweight, and thus it didn't slow him down too much; actually learning ogamajutsu was a chore, of course, but easy enough considering the nearly-suicidal ferocity he attacked everything in terms of learning. It would go a long way in making a base for when he started on bojutsu, that was for sure; sure as hell was fun to kill someone with it, though...

Not exactly finished with that part of his training, Jashin recognized the difficulty of remaining on it when there was more for him to learn and decided to intersperse bukijutsu training with everything else, and thus they eventually started on his Ketton training.

Of course, when they did, there was a funny little conversation that came out of nowhere due to Naruto's slight idiocy that somehow survived Jashin's teachings.

(Flashback, Mindscape)

"Jashin-sama, I have a question." Naruto said as he approached his goddess.

"Yes, Naruto-kun?" She asked, sitting on her throne atop a pile of human skulls. While she herself couldn't even touch the Shiki Fuujin, she could give Naruto specific directions to modify it himself, including opening this or that to allow him to freely manipulate the architecture of his mind, thus Kurama's iron bars were now a seal hanging from his neck, the sewer design was a massive field and forest, and Jashin's specific area was similar to her home in Limbo, including her throne she conjured every now and then.

"How come I've never heard of Blood Release before? I know there's a clan from Kiri that can see blood vessels and attack them like the Hyuuga's and their Byakugan, but how come I've never heard of a Blood Release?" He inquired.

"That's because, aside from my title as the Goddess of Slaughter and Destruction, I am also the God of Blood." She answered simply.

"...So whenever I kill someone for you, I'm basically bringing more blood for the blood god? And more skulls for the skull-throne?" He asked.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Sorry." He offered, trying desperately to keep a straight face.

(Flashback end)

Jashin forgave it this once since even she found it funny.

"Your first step will be the basis of drawing blood for all Ketton jutsu; since you now have the Kekkei Genkai for it, your chakra will be predisposed towards a certain combination of elements, thus you gained four affinities because of Ketton and Kuuton: Earth, Water, Yin, and Yang." Jashin began her lecture from within his mind.

"Yin and Yang? What are those, Jashin-sama?" Naruto asked, having never heard of Yin or Yang Release.

Foreseeing this question, Jashin rolled with it. "Yin and Yang Release are lost arts in human history; they were perpetrated by your Rikudou Sennin millennia ago. They are, respectively, 'form without substance' and 'substance without form'; they're also known as the two energies that form chakra, spiritual and physical, again respectively. As I said before, since you already have the Kekkei Genkai for them, your chakra will be slightly used to splitting itself into Yin and Yang Release, making it all that much easier. Most Ketton jutsu involve channeling that chakra to whatever part of your body you wish to draw blood from, most usually the palms of your hands, but you can do it really anywhere. Thankfully Ketton is a simple one-part-of-each ratio, unlike Kuuton when we get to that; you'll need equal amounts of Water, Yin, and Yang chakra to form it, where there you'll need twice as much Yin and Yang compared to Earth, since it's not really of earth. We'll start with forming water chakra to get it out of the way; try and feel for how your chakra flows through your body, and let it flow out." Jashin lectured.

Blinking owlishly at the information, Naruto chose to concentrate on the last part, for the sake of his nine year-old brain, and attempted to do so. Closing his eyes and calming his mind as best he could, Naruto looked within, feeling for the flow of his chakra. Actually finding his chakra was easy enough considering his reserves, and he only took a moment to get a feel for how it flowed; it was... calming. Attempting to let it flow out was slightly harder, but easy enough due to what Jashin said about the Kekkei Genkai and his chakra. Bringing his hands together and slowly pulling them away, Naruto felt his chakra form thin, weak rivers between his fingers.

"Excellent, Naruto-kun! I didn't think you'd be able to do it that quick; perhaps this is a secondary affinity from your mother? She did have water, as well..." Jashin wondered.

"A secondary affinity? What's my first then, Jashin-sama?" Naruto asked.

"Wind, from your mother and father. As such, when you start on Earth, it'll be quite difficult since they're complete opposites. But we'll get to it when we get to it; now comes the hard part. To form Yin and Yang chakra, you'll need to perfectly split your chakra; you can't have even a fraction of one half in the other, otherwise it won't work." Jashin pointed out, knowing this would be the real challenge for Naruto; there was a reason Yin and Yang Release were lost arts. Mankind had lost the knowledge of forming Yin and Yang Release over the millennia since the Rikudou Sennin, and what knowledge still remained was a shell of its former self, weak and diluted, secreted away to singular clans. "The only way I can think of for you to successfully do it is with force; just grab your chakra and rip it in half. That's all I can say, Naruto-kun." She advised with a frown; while the origin of chakra was divine in nature, humans truly mastered it, creating all these natures and techniques. As such, she didn't know much beyond what mankind interpreted as the three Kekkei Genkai she gave Naruto, feeling she didn't need more than that; obviously, that had come back to bite her in the ass.

Nodding, Naruto understood that was probably all she knew, and thus tried to replicate it. Forming chakra in his hands, Naruto grabbed it with the familiar sensation of actually channeling chakra and tried to pull it apart; obviously, no dice. For the first time, Naruto theorized splitting the chakra itself instead of using his hands, but the problem came in not knowing how to distinct physical and spiritual energy, so that was a bust. Although, that line of thought sparked another that might help him; maybe he needed to look deeper into himself, to find where the chakra came from before the energies actually fused into chakra. Putting his hands back on his knees, Naruto closed his eyes again and looked deep, deeper than when he attempted forming water chakra. When he channeled chakra, he sensed where they came from for just a second; it was almost too fast for him.

Almost.

He caught an inkling of it, just a simple echo, but it was there. And he grabbed onto it and followed it to the sources; one path lead him to his mind, all his knowledge, all his thoughts, what little experience he had, mostly from killing people. The second path lead to his body as a whole, every single cell that formed who he was gave physical energy.

With this achieved, Naruto had a 'feel' for the sensation of physical and spiritual energy; now came the hard part. When they formed chakra, they intertwined so perfectly that it was impossible to differentiate one from the other, and trying to prevent them from combining in the first place was damn-near impossible, but it was the lesser of two evils so Naruto went that route.

For nearly ten minutes Naruto sat there, attempting to keep the two energies from intermingling, but it was slow going. However, with each attempt he felt them hesitate more and more to combine.

"FUCKING YES!" Naruto suddenly yelled in success, a black flame in his right hand and a white in his left.

"Excellent, Naruto-kun; again, that happened faster than I expected. Perhaps I should have done this sooner; you're a wonderful student with an extreme ability to learn ninjutsu, more so than when we did taijutsu and bukijutsu." Jashin praised.

Blushing slightly, Naruto chuckled. "Th-thank you, Jashin-sama. So what do I do next?" He asked.

"To form Ketton chakra, you'll need to combine Water, Yin, and Yang chakra in equal parts." She answered.

Nodding, Naruto brought the flames of the two halves of chakra together while also channeling water chakra to his hands; the odd thing about Yin and Yang chakra was that they could be formed and maintain themselves once you had them, unlike other elements that needed to be constantly channeled, thus the ease of channeling three 'elements' together.

The fusion of chakra elements into the myth and mystery that was the Kekkei Tota produced an interesting result; coming together in a small vortex and mixing, water, yin, and yang came together to form a deep red glob of chakra with even-darker threads of red crossing its surface like a grid.

"Is this Blood Release chakra, Jashin-sama?" Naruto asked, cradling the energy in his hands like it was a small creature.

"Indeed it is, Naruto-kun; with it achieved, you can begin training in Ketton. Now that you have a feel for its chakra, you need only channel it into the palm of your hand for the drawing of blood." Jashin said.

Reabsorbing the chakra back into his system, Naruto channeled the new energy combination to his palm, watching as the skin split - surprisingly painlessly - and blood floated out, hovering above his palm.

"Excellent; the next step, and first technique, will be Ketton: Muchi (Blood Release: Whip [a play on words, considering it contains 'Chi', which means blood]), a rather rudimentary technique of simply slicing your hands and letting your blood fly as an elongated blade, like a whip. You should be able to get it on the first try; after that, we'll work on your chakra control for it and actual technique of using it, which will help you in your eventual muchijutsu." Jashin said.

Nodding and climbing to his feet, Naruto had the blood compress and spin, something Jashin didn't mention but he felt would help in doing so, and swung his hand out, letting the blood fly.

Instead of a whip coming out and carving up the earth, Naruto had compressed the blood so much and had it spin that it solidified into a bladed ring and went flying, cutting a tree right in half and stabbing into a second, before it lost its form and turned back into blood.

"Well... shit." Naruto commented; that didn't look like the Muchi.

"Shit indeed. Normally I'd be mad at you for disobeying me, Naruto-kun, but I think it can be forgiven in light of this new technique; no one with Ketton before you has created something like this, they tend to settle for techniques already made, or simply just having the symbol required for our jujutsu moving with them and do nothing else. However, I'll expect you to listen to me from now on, understand Naruto-kun?" Jashin asked with a threatening tone in her voice.

Gulping audibly and nodding, Naruto apologized for his work nonetheless and began attempting the Muchi.

(Two years after the incident)

Learning Ketton, and starting on Kuuton, was an... interesting experience for the first few months, but Naruto eventually fell into the groove of things, following Jashin's instructions. The various ways one could weaponize their own blood were pretty cool, in Naruto's eyes, and he learned all she could teach him in the art, and thus they moved on to Flesh Release.

However, once Naruto mastered his Ketton, he had an idea to get rid of the one 'pest' in the Academy, though afterwards, he found she wasn't actually annoying, just... weird.

(Flashback, Attempt 1)

Supremely annoyed by the Hyuuga girl who sat there with a timid smile, Naruto decided to fuck with her to get her to leave. Slouching forward slightly, he channeled blood chakra to his face and waited for her to ask if he was okay. He didn't wait long, but he didn't answered. He waited until she attempted to look at his face to see if he was okay herself, and sprung his trap.

Snapping his head up, his hood falling back, he showed his transformed face, inwardly smirking as he also had the attention of the entire class. In place of his blonde hair and tan skin was a demonic head with crimson skin made with Blood Release, tendrils flailing in the air in place of hair, eyes blazing with chakra, as he opened his sharp maw in a terrifying screech, small tendrils reaching out and morphing into tiny claws that snapped towards the Hyuuga heiress.

All around him, immediate reactions were apparent; various screams, cries, and defecations were heard as people were scared shitless, sometimes literally. Kiba even gripped his chest and collapsed; a mild heart attack, at best. But the only reaction he cared about was the Hyuuga girls. Her reaction was not what he expected.

She had the balls to actually reached out and put the top of her hand against his forehead like she was checking his body heat. "Hmm, you do seem a little warm. But otherwise fine." She commented, ending her observation by patting both his cheeks with her small hands and turning back to look forward, smiling to herself.

The few people that witnessed this, Naruto included, were slack-jawed and wide-eyed. What the ever-living fuck?

(Attempt 2)

About a week after the first incident - Kiba was administered to the hospital and returned two days later - Naruto tried to think of how else he could scare her off. Thinking of his first attempt, but on a larger scale, he began channeling blood chakra to various parts of his body.

He began his plan by acting sick, slouching over his desk and groaning slightly, only loud enough for Hinata to hear. As she turned to ask him if he was okay, he felt blood collect on his shoulder blades and ribs, and he felt the flesh of his arms and head contort due to his new expedition into Flesh Release. He added on to his acting by forcing his shoulders to shake, as if he was holding in immense pain. When she vocally inquired to his health, he struck.

Rising into the air on six large clawed arms made of blood that shot out of the spots on his ribs, Naruto's sleeves tore open as his arms bulged and formed organic armor of overlapping plates covered in spikes, leading to five large claws that replaced his fingers, his head forming a helmet of organic flesh, flanked by forward-facing horns, a vertical slit forming before it tore open, revealing a wall of teeth made of solidified blood, as he roared an unearthly howl right in Hinata's cute face, blowing her dark blue hair back slightly, as everyone else reacted the same way they did the last time, Kiba having another fear-induced heart attack. After a continuous roar of five minutes, Naruto finally tired and chose to just stare at Hinata with his terrifying visage.

She stared back at him with her white eyes. Then she smiled, closing her eyes as well. "Glad to see you're alright, Naruto-kun." She commented, then turned back to pay attention to the board.

Naruto just hovered there, supported by his extra limbs, looking at her incredulously.

(Attempt 3)

Deciding on a new tactic, Naruto immediately struck when Hinata sat next to him. He pulled down his hood, grabbed her head, and put their foreheads against each other, staring at her maliciously. All she did was blush. They stayed like that for the entire day in school, Naruto attempting to intimidate her into running away with his rage-filled eyes.

When the final bell rang, Naruto threw his arms into the air, gave a defeated yell, and let his head slam onto his desk, finally giving up. For such a timid girl, she was brave in the face of... him.

(Flashback end)

After the last attempt, Naruto accepted Hinata and let her sit next to him, soon coming to enjoy her presence, as she was one of the few who didn't fear him after he was inducted into Jashinism, the only others being the Ichiraku father and daughter; Naruto hadn't seen the Sandaime since last before the incident, but he probably had an inkling of the 'new Naruto.'

Anyway, Naruto's training in Kuuton - once he was able to manifest Earth chakra, and boy was that difficult; just like Jashin said, his natural primary Wind affinity fought against his chakra trying to change to earth - was... honestly a bit gross at first considering what it did to him, but he grew used to it. The actual Flesh Release techniques were quite interesting, as they turned his body into weapons, something that went perfect alongside the bukijutsu training he was still going through. In fact now that he thought about it, all three of these Kekkei Genkai revolved around turning some part of his body into a weapon; his blood, his flesh, and his bones. Makes some sort of fucked up sense, considering it's from Jashin.

Speaking of which, Jashin mentioned Flesh Release was actually relatively similar to the as-of-yet unnamed Kekkei Genkai of a clan in Ta no Kuni; they had the ability to passively absorb natural energy, something that only Sages could do through active training, and utilize it in transformations, accomplishing similar things to what Naruto's Flesh Release could do. Of course, because they constantly absorbed natural energy, they were also fucking insane, and thus weren't a really reliable source of knowledge for creating techniques, as they only made a handful due to their mental instability. Taking what he could and working from that, Naruto moved along swiftly in Kuuton.

(Four years after the incident)

Having learned the last of Jashin's Kekkei Genkai bequeathed to him - Shikotsumyaku was a bitch to learn, but it built up his pain tolerance something fast - the rest of the bukijutsu, and even a bit of Kurama's chakra when he could be fucked to give Naruto the time of day. The Kyuubi usually spent his days either chasing creatures Naruto conjured in his mindscape, sleeping, or laughing at the blondes pain when he trained in the Shikotsumyaku, but as Naruto trained more in his corrosive chakra, he became slightly more active, and the blonde could call him the loosest approximation of a 'friend', at least one someone with his abrasive personality could have.

Anyway, it was the day of the Graduation Exam, and Naruto's ranking in class was somewhere in the middle since he was the absolute best in combat subjects, but gave the biggest middle finger he could - sometimes literally thanks to Flesh Release because he was just so clever - to any written works, scoring the worse on them, alongside Kiba and Shikamaru. Hinata, the little sweetheart, tried to help him in the beginning, but when she realized he couldn't be bothered to care for the tests, she stopped.

With his training done, the fraction of Jashin within Naruto merely stayed to give color commentary on his life, enjoying his company; at least, that was what she said.

"Uzumaki Naruto."

Well that's him. Getting up and smiling at Hinata's quiet cheers for him to pass, Naruto walked down the small stairs and stepped into the next room for the personal test with Iruka and Mizuki.

Over these years, Naruto changed just a bit, mostly in terms of his body and wardrobe. Most obviously, Naruto's body matured over the years, rippling with compacted muscle brimming with brutal power thanks to Jashin's training, and now a couple inches taller, making the blonde as tall as Shino, the tallest kid in class. Naruto's hair grew out, making him a virtual clone of his father, something that got several scowls from the villagers, which got a chuckle out of him since he killed most of them when they tried to strike him down. Apparently the Sandaime was bending over backwards to cover his ass; something about a law about not mentioning the Kyuubi resulting in death or whatever. Since they were made from his body, his clothes obviously grew with him as the years went on, especially since he could just disintegrate them at a moment's notice, but he eventually did away with the undershirt, leaving his chest bare, and had his necklace act as a sort of tether for his cloak, now halfway down. He also added a bit more bone to it, now having a sort of spine and ribcage on the back of it, curving around to the sides, and Jashin did away with the gloves and boots, Naruto replacing them with blood-cloth gloves, also fingerless, and bone sandals, both of which he could also freely manipulate if he couldn't be bothered to do it 'properly.'

"Now Naruto, you didn't do that good on the written exam, but if you ace this part, you pass. You'll need to show us you can do the Henge, Kawarimi, and Bunshin no Jutsu." Iruka instructed.

Naruto always liked Iruka; he seemed to actually give a shit about him, even if it came sort of late. He was now on his not-shit list, joined by Hinata, Ichiraku Teuchi and Ayame, the Sandaime, and nearly all his classmates, just excluding all the fangirls, meaning Sakura and Ino as well, and Sasuke because fuck the duck-head. Thankfully, Jashin got him to train in the Henge and Kawarimi at the last minute, so he was okay here; time to have a little fun.

'Ketton: Henge.' Channeling blood chakra into the E rank technique, Naruto went up in a cloud of smoke as he transformed. Just when Iruka and Mizuki leaned in to see the technique when the smoke seemed to linger longer than usual, they were hit by a wall of noise, for that was the only word they could use to describe what they heard, as it couldn't ever be something man-made. Many inhuman forms suddenly began to writhe, dispersing the smoke and revealing that which lied within.

From a mass of red flesh on the floor came several limbs, necks, reaching up and swinging this way and that, capped with visages similar to the first time Naruto attempted to scare Hinata off, minus the mouth-hands, each giving off this ungodly scream as they writhed, some slipping right through others as they did. Quite appropriately, Iruka and Mizuki screamed.

So frightened was he that Iruka now matched Mizuki's skin tone, both their mouths agape in seemingly-perpetual screams, and even after Naruto had long transformed back, they continued to scream like little girls. To stop them, Naruto walked up to them, did some stretches like he was about to be in the fight of his life, cracked his knuckles, his neck, and his back, raised his right hand, and slapped the shit out of them until they stopped. It took a good five minutes of continuous slapping to stop them, and Naruto's hand was tingling with numbness by then.

Once Iruka and Mizuki snapped out of it, the former began to say Naruto did the Henge successfully, only to stop mid-sentence and suddenly cradled his face in pain.

"Iruka, what's wro-AAAAAH-HA-HA!" Mizuki asked, only to stop and grab his own face and scream/moan in pain.

Glaring at the genin-hopeful for snickering at their delayed reactions, Iruka begrudgingly said he did the Henge successfully, and asked to do Kawarimi, with 'no funny business!'

Muttering about killjoys, Naruto replaced himself with the offered empty chair, receiving a full mark and creating a trio of clones when it was asked of him.

"Excellent, Naruto, you graduate! All you need to do is pick a hitai-ate and you're a genin of Konoha!" Iruka proclaimed with a proud smile.

"Awesome; now I can kill people for money while proclaiming our greatness." Naruto commented lamely, relishing Iruka's expression, as if he ate something extremely sour, and took a headband with the blue cloth before cutting the plate free and bringing it to his bone-sash, manipulating it to grow four little claws to hold it in place.

Not even bothering to ask, just accepting anything weird about Naruto, Iruka rolled with it and gestured him out, the smile still on his face; definitely not on his shit list.

With that, Ino was called in for her test, the last one, which she graduated - a pity - and they were told to come back tomorrow for team assignments.

Hooray; more people to annoy and be annoyed by. Always fun.

End Ch. 1

As you can see, there's quite a bit changed about this story from the original version, so let's go over them.

Naruto has knowledge about Jashinism, and Jashin herself, before the major stuff happens.

Got rid of the cringe-worthy religious commentary (it still hurts to look back on)

What's two chapters is now a single one, and has more content while ending pretty much the same place.

Commentary on the land Naruto actually meets Jashin in; totally not Hueco Mundo, by the by XD

A new outfit; the original, all-white cloak was actually something from an old OC of mine that was blood-based, but I decided to get rid of it.

Obviously going into the training in the Kekkei Genkai instead of just brushing over them from the four year skip.

Kurama isn't Jashin's BDSM slave anymore XD and speaks and has a more active role now.

Kept in the jokes since everyone, including me, loved them XD Oooohhh I just realized I could totally go 'kill the heretics!' somewhere... I'm amazing.

And changing the whole 'Naruto is now immortal' thing since, in looking up on Hidan's immortality, I realized it wasn't because he was a Jashinist, but some experiment he participated in. Also tweaked mentioning training in Kurama's chakra to what is actually correct, that it's a battle of willpower between them and not just 'training to control X amount of chakra.'

As before, credit goes to Omnibender for Blood and Flesh Release. Also, can you guys tell me if FF alerts you to an already-published chapter being changed? It seemed like that when I did Walking Blizzard but I want to be sure.

As always, tell me what you think.

Ja ne!