"Maybe not here…"
She hadn't meant to drop the pitch pipe, but coordination wasn't her thing and the irony that it rolled into what had been Aubrey's lunch was all somehow rather fitting.
Beca desperately tried not to look at Chloe but she knew she would fail soon, just not now.
She couldn't look at Chloe right now, this day had been stressful above and beyond what she could normally handle in a month and it wasn't over yet.
She honestly hadn't believed Aubrey would let her back in, and she couldn't have dreamed of her literally handing it over to Beca to make decisions.
She knew Chloe had some part in it, probably a big part in it, and that was one of the reasons why she couldn't look at her.
The image of Chloe staring at her with eyes that burned through her skin, her walls, her bones and demanded answers to questions she could hear even though the redhead hadn't spoken, still made her sick and unsteady.
Backstage at Regionals, it all happened at once. Aubrey tore her down, Jesse stumbled in and helped and Chloe… Chloe liked her.
"Is this true Beca? Have you hooked up with Jesse? Do you like him? Why haven't you said something?
I thought we were friends… I like you Beca. I thought…We could be more than friends. I wish you had told me."
All these questions were apparent in just one look from the senior. Beca didn't know if Chloe had meant to show all those emotions, and at first she hadn't believed it
but that night she had gone through every single moment shared with the redhead and she knew it had to be true.
And then she realized something else.
It didn't affect her. She didn't feel weird about it. She didn't wish for those moments with Chloe to be different.
She didn't wish for Chloe to not feel that way about her, but she didn't understand why.
The coming week was quiet. Her phone was quiet. Her dorm door was quiet, much to Kimmy Jin's joy.
Chloe didn't text her. Chloe didn't call her and say "Hey Mitchell, I hear even DJ's need food, which is why I'm coming by and yes there is extra cheese on your pasta.".
Chloe didn't show up with her red locks that Beca just wanted to run her fingers through, and that contagious smile on her beautiful lips which made Beca happy in corners of herself she didn't know she had inside.
She didn't show up and sit on Beca's bed and peek over at her equipment, secretly hoping the younger girl would let her listen to what she's working on while Beca wondered why it felt so okay to sit in silence with Chloe.
Beca couldn't handle silence even on her own, much less with someone else around. Except with Chloe.
But Chloe was silent now. It was too silent, and no matter how much she turned up the volume she couldn't drown out the deafening noise inside.
She missed Chloe. In a way she had never missed anyone before. Because she had never before felt the same way as she did about the redhead.
She had never liked anyone before. But she liked Chloe. Liked her. The realization hit her like a wrecking ball.
And then she realized she had wrecked things and that's when she felt herself shatter inside worse than she ever had before, and it was spring break and Kimmy Jin wasn't there to hear her cry into her pillow.