The Ever Gloom~

Act I: Reason in Madness

It's raining and I'm sitting in this dingy cabin, leaning against a hard, cold bench wondering what I'm going to do now that Roxas is gone, as usual. I'm surrounded by people of all shapes and sizes, their sour breaths stain the air with lust, copper, and drink.

It almost makes me laugh. Me, sitting in a bar, where temptation lurks at every corner. Where people submit themselves to lust, fame, fortune, chance, instinct . . . it makes me shiver with anticipation. Really, it's amazing to watch. Not because of the partying, the absence of cognition, the painless process that muddles the human soul from within.

No. I like watching everyone because I'm waiting. Waiting, observing, listening, judging . . . but also understanding. Yes, understand, understand, understand. I need to understand, I want to understand.

There's no other option, no other choice. I have to know why he did it, I must find reason in his madness. For he is mad, right? There's a string of logic in here somewhere that I'm missing, but I must find it. I have to find it.

For him, but mainly for myself. If I don't find it . . . well, then maybe I'll truly go crazy.

Journal Entry 250