Chapter 09: I'm the one confused

"Kiryuu-sama, Kremer-san is here to see you."
"Let her in. We are to be undisturbed" the silver haired said without so much as a glance at the guard.
"Of course" the hunter replied and left with a bow.
Zero kept working on the interview protocols, trying to find a lead on the missing hunter group. Taking his current predicament with his girlfriend into account, Zero again did not bother to look up as he heard the girl come in, close the door and sit next to him. Neither did he bother to greet her but decided to wait for her to tell him the reason for her coming. He was almost surprised that it took her about full five minutes before she couldn't take it anymore and started talking.
"You are angry."
"You said I have no reason to be" he answered nonchalantly.
"Yet you are. You don't believe me, do you? How can you let that blood sucker get between us?!" she asked, slightly raising her voice. Her choice of words, rather than her anger made the male look up after all, an implacable smirk playing on his lips.
"Aren't I the same? A blood sucker?" he asked, watching Emily's eyes widening in shock.
"Of course not! You are a hunter. It's not your fault that bitch turned you!"
"It doesn't change the fact that I am not fully human nor hunter anymore. So please refrain calling Kaname anything that would insult me as well."
"Kaname?! Since when are you on first name basis? Since your magical night together?" Emily hissed as she stood up, her palms hitting the table hard.
"He is my mate. Why would I call him anything but? Or would you prefer I call him hubby or honey?" Zero knew he was pushing her, but after everything that had occurred lately he felt like dishing out some punches as well.

Just as he had assumed, Emily's cheeks reddened in anger.
"What would that make me? Your whore?"
"That is a little harsh, is it not? I'd say something less offensive. Maybe side chick?" Zero mused aloud. Seeing his supposedly girlfriend tremble in rage or mortification – or maybe both, Zero decided to turn serious.
"Honestly Emily. What did you come for? I'm busy. Either you are here for the truth or you can go back to school. I'm done being the joke of everyone's game. Also to answer your question: No, I do not trust him. I don't have to. I have regained my memory. It's different from being told something. I'm pissed off and I need some time to think about all of this mess."
Emily frowned.
"Are you breaking up with me?"
"No. Not yet anyway. As I've just said…. I need time."
"But you might break up."
"I might."
"Because you're married? Because you love him?"
"Surely my marriage will play into my decision but mostly I want to think about us. About how your actions did not only corrupt me but also our relationship." Zero knew he was harsh, maybe too harsh. His words did not only hurt his girlfriend but also himself. He still did feel like these words were what he felt like and their relationship has always been based on trust and truth, no matter how painful. Or so he thought at least. Apparently this base has not (always) been the same for Emily. Said girl stared at Zero for a few seconds. The silver haired hunter could see her thinking through all available options and coming to the conclusion that there really only was one: to retreat.
"Just answer me one question, Zero" Emily said, waiting for Zero to nod eventually.
"Did you cheat on me with him last night?"
Zero looked at her steadily, sighing.
"No, I did not. I am not planning to either."
"Not planning on cheating on me or fucking him?"
Cringing at the idea of him and the older pureblood doing such things together he cringed.
"Neither. Definitely neither." Despite himself, Zero took Emily's hands.
"I love you and that won't change. No matter what you've done, you're already too important to me to be tossed aside. I just need to figure out which kind of love. I need to figure out what to make of your actions and of this marriage and….." Zero sighed deeply.
"And just set your head straight?"
"Yeah." Seeing the slight shift from anger and fear to a hint of amusement in his girl's eyes, he glared at her.
"If you are gonna comment about straight heads and possibly gay hearts I'll break up right here and now" he hissed, leading to Emily giggling hard.
"I'll try my best. Can I help you with this?" Emily asked nodding to the table.
"Not in the interviews but if you would be available for a new search party….."
"Of course" Emily answered and let Zero lead her into the room where the new groups were forming right at this moment.

Returning to school, Zero quickly realized he had chosen a bad time to come back. Currently the Night Class was on their break. Deciding to be useful, he wrote Yuuki a quick message, telling her which part he'd watch. The hunter didn't like the aura that was currently washing over the school. He didn't know what but something was up. The atmosphere was almost as bad as his mood. After making half a round he found a familiar group. Kuran's group. Ignoring them he was about to pass them when suddenly Aidou and Kain blocked his way.

"Is it true, Kiryuu?" the shorter blond asked, ice forming beneath his feet, pulling Zero into awareness quite fast.
"For a genius you ask quite stupid questions, Aidou-senpai. Try to specify."
"How dare you?!" Aidou hissed and was about to attack the Day Class student but was stopped by his cousin.
"Don't Hanabusa. Do you want to kiss him again?"
That shut up both younger males for a moment. Neither particularly needed a reminder of what happened. Looking from his cousin to Zero, Kain asked.
"He's asking about the rumor. Are you really mated to Kaname-sama?"
Zero froze. When for heaven's sake did that get out?!
"Why not ask your beloved leader?"
"He's not answering us!" Aidou yelled angry making Zero glare.
"Your rejected fan girl feelings are none of my business, luckily. Go cry to someone else. Also, you might want to remember that I am –"
"You're what?" Aidou asked, raising an eyebrow. Zero inwardly scolded himself for that mistake. He was done with the past. There was no reason to bring up a part of him that he had buried the night Shizuka had turned him. Desperate to find a plausible thing to say, Zero stayed quiet for a moment.
"Yes, it's true Hanabusa. Zero is Kaname's mate."
All three males turned to the source of the voice, watching Takuma stride over confidently.
"Then why not say so?" Aidou asked before looking like he just realized something.
"You're embarrassed? How dare you filthy low life –"
"Aidou. Watch your words. Kaname will get angry" Takuma chided the other blond.
"Only if you play watch dog again."
"I am Zero's friend as much as Kaname's."
Kain sighed.
"Wanna elaborate?"
Takuma looked at Zero before looking back to his classmate.
"You know enough Akatsuki. If you two would calm down and bother to remember."
Aidou frowned.
"What am I supposed to remember?"

Without knowing why, Zero smirked at him triumphantly.
"Remember the ball right after Kaname's parents had passed away? You confessed and got horribly rejected. The reason was me. We were married at that point. Oh, and that's not all. I was friends with your friends, wasn't I, Katsu?" he asked, smiling gently at the taller vampire.
"A long time ago. When you managed to smile like this and mean it." Kain confirmed.
"A time when Kiryuu used to be cute? Impossible."
Having had enough of this conversation, Zero started walking away, passed the cousins and ignored their calls.
"Why are you following me?" he asked after a few meters.
"To make sure you're alright" Takuma answered.
"Why did you tell them?"
"Kaname wants you two back together. Aidou will need to cope."
"It wasn't your place to spill my secret."
Noticing the steps had stopped with that remark, Zero turned to find Takuma trembling, his head cast downward.
"I'm sorry."
Zero got closer, slowly.
"Are you crying?" he asked and upon seeing the tears fall, felt horrible. The young hunter quickly fished out a tissue and handed it to the usually cheery vampire.
"Thank you."
"Why are you crying?" Hearing the command like question, both boys turned to find the owner.
Kaname was approaching them with a fast stride. Zero sighed.
"Looks like you're in good hands now. I'm leaving first."
"What did you do, Zero?"
"Told him he's an ass for saying things he had no right to."
Looking at Takuma for confirmation and receiving a faint nod, Kaname looked at Zero again.
"I was looking for you."
"I don't care."
"It's about work. Do you have time?" Kaname asked, apparently unfazed by Zero's brisk words.
Zero looked at him confused.
"Business is Cross' field, not mine" he said, making the older male smile just a little.
"Not this time, dear."
"Quit the names."
"Will you come with me if I do?"
"Fine, but make it quick" Zero hissed.

Sitting down Zero decided to cut to the chase.
"What business do you want to talk about?"
Kaname watched him for a moment before answering.
"I want to get you back on track. Politically" he said, almost enjoying the dark clouds that started to form over Zero's head once the message had sunken in.
"Politically? Why?" The hunter asked, failing at containing his displeasure, which in turn forced a small smile to brighten up the purebloods face.
"You remember our marriage and your correct heritage. Haven't you noticed that your behavior has changed a little already?"
Zero stiffened as he pondered the question. He wanted to deny it – so badly, but the truth lay there for all to see. Due to his position other hunters usually addressed him in the honorific way but he never cared or ordered people – until today.
"I'm becoming like you…." Zero said in consternation.
"I wouldn't quite say that but there are just certain trades that all of us have, wouldn't you agree?"
Zero glared at the dark haired male.
"I'm nothing like you and I don't want you to meddle with my life. I'm content as a field hunter. I would have to retract in order to be politically active."
"I don't quite think so", Kaname said, sitting straighter and crossed his legs.
"In my opinion it would serve you to be active in both ways. Inside and out. Just like Takamiya. Albeit he is only a politician for the time being. Being a hunter, politician and teacher might have been one job too many."
"Takamiya…" Zero mumbled under his breath, only now coming to the realization that indeed Kaitou was in the exact same position he was in. Nevertheless all of this sounded fishy to Zero.
"You evaded my question."
"See, so much learned in such a few amount of time. Alright. As token of my appreciation I will answer your question. I-"
Interrupted by Zero standing up suddenly, Kaname raised an eyebrow.
"Don't bother acting polite. I wanted you to answer because you want to. Not because you feel obliged to." With that Zero turned and walked to the door. He opened it but stopped in his tracks. Without turning to the Kuran heir he added.
"You claim to be my mate but you know nothing about me either, apparently. Or maybe we just have grown apart. Either way, heed my advice. Step out of line. My life is none of your business. Don't meddle with it unless I ask for your help. If you throw me back into the place that you consider right for me I will not stop short of using it against you. Of all the people it's you who should know just how dangerous that might be." Not waiting for a reply he left.

"Have you seen Kaname?" Zero asked his brother and Kaitou.
"Didn't he want to look for you?" the older male replied, making Zero frown. Kaname was searching him here without his parents, the twins or Kaitou?
"Isn't it dangerous?"
Kaitou shrugged.
"Only if he meets someone who would kill a pureblood child."
Zero paled and ran off. No matter what, he would find Kaname and protect him. Of course the young hunter knew very well that the pureblood child could defend himself, but he also knew just how sweet Kaname was. He knew that Kaname would never attack a human, even if he himself was to be attacked. Never would Kaname endanger the dream their parents were working on so hard. No, Kaname getting hurt was one thing that was absolutely out of the question. Luckily he found the familiar aura soon. However it wasn't relief washing over the silver haired boy but steal cold fear, as he saw the commotion around his beloved pureblood. Some were only insulting Kaname from the looks of it, but others were throwing sticks or stones or whatever they had available. Much to his horror, Zero saw one of them draw his weapon. They would shoot Kaname! Without thinking about the consequences he used his element to shoot himself over the crowd and landed in front of the vampire, back to Kaname, his arms spread protectively.

"Stop that!" he yelled.
"Why would we? He wanted to kill us."
"He wasn't and you know it."
One of the hunters sneered.
"How can you tell?"
This time it was Zero's turn to look annoyed.
"You'd be dead by now if he tried to kill you, you moron."
"Shut up, vampire whore."
Zero tensed, as he felt Kaname step forward, his aura darkening. He turned to his friend…husband….mate….thing.
"Calm down. I have no idea what whore means but I know it was most likely an insult, but I don't care. Let's just go, okay?"
"He can't get away with – "
"Kaname! Please…."
Kaname eyed him for a moment. Zero's heart was beating like crazy in fear he couldn't convince Kaname.
"Come on…. He's not worth it and you know it. None of them is."
Reluctantly Kaname nodded and allowed Zero to pull on his hand and retreat.
"He didn't deserve to be protected by you." Kaname muttered.
"I didn't do it for him but for you. You would have gotten into trouble, even if you were the victim originally and you know it."
"Thank you, love", Kaname said and kissed Zero's cheek.

Zero woke up. Of course he had to have a weird dream again, right after his fight with the pureblood. It was as if his subconsciousness was trying to mock him. To remember him, that he himself willingly became the others husband. Still, Zero did not think it was fair to confront him with all the fuzzy, warm feelings he once harbored for the vampire. It wasn't his fault that the husband from his memory was a completely different person than the one that minded everyone's business in the present. Zero frowned. Maybe that wasn't fair either. He had changed too, hadn't he? So could he put all the blame on Kaname? He really needed to have that talk he had requested the other night. Maybe that would help to calm the storm raging in his heart. Upon hearing a knock on the door, he looked up. Who would come to his room at this time?
"Zero?" he heard a familiar, soothing voice.
"Come in, Yuuki."
Zero sat up more and watched his step sister enter and sit on the now free space on Zero's bed.
"What brings you here in the middle of the night?"
He waited for a reply, but the usually cheerful girl just stared at her hands that were currently folded in her lap.
"Yuuki?"
Startled the younger girl looked up at him, a smile on her face that made Zero's heart clench painfully. Scooting close enough to hug her he said.
"Never force yourself to smile in front of me. Never. If something is bothering you, tell me please. You know you can always be honest."
After another pause Yuuki nodded slowly.
"I need to ask you something…."
Rather than replying Zero waited for her to continue.
"Are the rumors true?"
Zero flinched. Hadn't he heard that today already? He realized his mistake one second too late, as Yuuki tensed.

"So it's true. You and Kaname-senpai…."
"Yes. We are married", he said but upon feeling Yuuki slump down he quickly added.
"We are married, but it doesn't mean a thing."
Yuuki turned a bit in his embrace to look at him. He wasn't sure if that look was one of disbelief or slight anger.
"How can a marriage be meaningless? And what about Emily? Did you lie to me?"
"A marriage is meaningless if it was done over a decade ago and if you don't even remember it because you lost your memory. Because your husband didn't try to approach you to remind you. Because you have a new life with a new love. Because that marriage was ended by Kaname even before I lost my memory. Therefore no, I didn't lie to you. I am with Emily…..more or less."
Yuuki looked confused.
"Why did Kaname-senpai break up with you and what do you mean 'more or less'?"
"I'm not sure. He broke up right after his parents died. He said he never loved me to begin with."
"He said it exactly like this?!"
Zero thought about it for a moment.
"No. He said that marrying me was a mistake and that he doesn't need people that die so easily. I was still human back then and the death of two powerful vampire purebloods apparently had shaken him… As for Emily and me. It was Emily that removed or rather altered my memory. I just can't look at her and ignore it so I asked for a break to think things through."
Yuuki nodded understandingly.
"So…."
"So you can still try to make Kaname see you."
"You wouldn't mind?"
Zero smiled a little, ignoring his heart once again clenching up, calling him a liar.
"Yes, of course. Even if I were in love with him, he is not. Even if I were in love….I'd give everything for your happiness – even if it meant giving up my own."
Yuuki blushed but kissed his cheek.
"You can be surprisingly sweet. Where did you hide that side of yours?" she asked, standing up.
"I had to hide it behind the scruff me because you already explored me the way. If you knew about me being a softie it would have been worse" Zero said, chuckling.
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Right. Go to bed dumbass."
"Shut up, blood sucker."
"I could go for a midnight snack…."
Yuuki laughed, knowing he wouldn't randomly bite anyone.
"Goodnight Zero."
"Goodnight dear."

Zero watched Yuuki leave before lying back. He wondered idly why Yuuki always seemed to calm him down, even at the darkest of times. His peace didn't hold on for long however. Feeling a tug on his blood bond he frowned. He had enough interaction with his so called mate for one day. Still he was a little intrigued as to why Kaname wanted to speak to him, so he gave a tug in return. Shortly after that tug he heard his cell vibrate. Having guessed the pureblood would reach out, he grabbed it and picked up.

"Yuuki knows about us." He said.
Without skipping a beat Kaname replied as calm as ever.
"I see. It was to be expected. Did you really think Aidou wouldn't tell her?"
"I should have killed him while I had the chance" he replied, growling a little – much to the purebloods amusement apparently.
"Maybe you should have. I'm grateful you didn't though. Aidou – no matter how annoying he tends to get, is a valuable asset to my group."
"Right. So, will you tell me why you called me so late? Surely not to have small talk?"
"I wanted to apologize" the pureblood said, sounding a little reluctant much to Zero's surprise.
"Apologize? Mind to elaborate?" he asked, his curiosity piqued.
"I should not have rolled my plans over you like I did. You were right to be upset."
"I was straight out pissed."
Kaname chuckled.
"I was merely trying to avoid your crude choice of words. However don't misunderstand. I am still holding onto bringing you back. I just decided to involve you more in my planning in doing so. Will you let me?"
"Why do you want that? Am I not good enough as a simple field hunter?" he asked annoyed – at least he told himself that it was annoyance rather than a slight hurt on his emotions and pride.
"You're perfect the way you are. If I wanted to be bothered by something shouldn't it be your vampire level rather than your job in the association? I knew you'd be a field hunter from the start. My objective is supposed to help you. Not me."
Now that took Zero aback. The pureblood wanted to something not exclusively for himself? No, he had to have some kind of self-righteous motif.
"Go ahead."
"No, dear. It is late already and you have class first thing in the morning. Why not come to me tomorrow so we can continue our talk?"
Zero sighed, not wanting to give up this easily but he knew the other had a point.
"Alright. I'll come over right after class."
"Or we could go out for lunch?"
"Fine. Text me the time and place. Bye."
Zero almost ended the call before hearing a soft whisper. He had pushed the disconnect button too fast to answer. He tried to ignore the soft murmur that Kaname had used to bid him goodnight but his heart decided that he very much wanted to acknowledge it. He lied back and curled up only to dream of yet another sweet memory that he had buried long ago.

Zero found himself waking up. He felt warm and protected. He smiled at the feeling. Yet, as he tried to sit up he found he couldn't move at all. Upon looking down he saw an arm wrapped around him. Rather than being scared, the arm caused Zero to smile. He had completely forgotten that the Kuran's had decided to sleep over due to the typhoon the night before. Changing his plans of getting up, he just turned to face the pureblood child. Kaname always looked so smart and aloof and….almost too old and wise for his own good and yet when he was sleeping like this, he finally looked peaceful and at rest. Maybe Zero was even a little into arrogantly thinking that it might be him in the others arm that gave him some kind of peace, too. Not being able to hold back, Zero caressed the soft cheek. Kaname was sleeping so it wasn't hurting anyone anyway, right? Just before he could pull back, the pureblood opened his eyes. Kaname's burgundy eyes burned into his own, sparkling with adoration and mischief.
"Naughty boy."
"Good morning to you, too" Zero huffed and made a run for the bathroom, to calm his racing heart.

Zero found himself waking up. He felt warm and protected. He smiled at the feeling. Yet, as he tried to sit up he found he couldn't move at all. Upon looking down he saw an arm wrapped around him. Was he dreaming again? No, the arm wrapped around him this time was nothing like the kids arm from his dream but slim and by far more muscular in a subtle way. The hand much bigger, the childish chubbiness having given way for long, elegant fingers. How had he not woken up when a pureblood marched into his room to cuddle him?! Zero sighed. He knew very well that he wouldn't get out of the purebloods hold this time either. Also, he found that he didn't want to. Zero wouldn't ever consciously acknowledge this feeling but deep down he knew he felt content at their close proximity. So he decided to indulge himself and enjoy the moment. He turned around and looked at his sleeping mate. Exactly like in his memory, Kaname appeared so much more peaceful and much younger than what he looked like. Knowing it was a mistake but unable to stop himself, he reached out again and traced the purebloods cheek. And yet again, just before Zero could withdraw, Kaname opened his eyes, smirking at him.

"Naughty boy."
"Good morning to you, too" Zero huffed, a small smile playing on his lips.

TBC...