A/N: Fill for kinkmeme prompt: Garrus displays rather adorbs avian behaviour when agitated, which Femshep can't help but lol at. Cracky fluff pls?

Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect nor do I make any money from the writing of this fic.

"What the hell were you thinking!?"

His deep, dual-toned voice that usually sent shivers of pleasure down Shepard's spine was fierce and unkind. She didn't have to turn around and look at him. She knew he was pissed. Scowling, she rolled her eyes at his reaction. She quickly exited the shuttle and made her way through the cargo bay, her team in tow. Stopping at the armory bench, she began methodically unloading the weapons from her gear; her assault rifle and pistol settling down with a clang. Without a word, she headed straight towards the elevator. She grabbed a water canteen that had been laid out on a table and listened as his thunderous steps followed her, right on her heels. She could practically feel his breath on her neck.

"Garrus. I knew Zaeed would take out those mercs on the right flank. So I ran in. We didn't have much of a choice. That warehouse door was about to close. Who knows how long it would've taken us to hack the lock? We didn't have the time." She tried to keep her voice even and steady.

She stepped into the elevator, eyes straight ahead as she pressed the button for the mess hall. She watched Zaeed linger in the cargo bay, slowly unloading each weapon with care as he always did; handling them gently as if they were infants. The elevator doors closed and Garrus finally let loose.

"WE DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE?! We could've, oh I don't know, cleared the area before running into enemy territory." He let out a growl. "You are becoming too reckless."

That was it. She had enough of him berating her on her field decisions.

"Vakarian. STAND DOWN." She knew that addressing him casually would annoy him. But telling him to stand down? That would infuriate him. A deep flanging sound came from his chest, followed by a strange clicking noise Shepard had never heard before. She took a swig of water from the canteen and turned to look at him, expecting hell in his eyes.

Pfffffffffffffttttttttttttttt.

Garrus, eyes wide, stared at the water Shepard sprayed all over the elevator door. Confused, he watched as she choked, unable to hold back her laughter and bent over, coughing uncontrollably. Wiping her mouth, she took a quick peek again at Garrus. His fringe had flared up and his mandibles were locked together tightly against his face. His head was swiftly bobbing around in a small circle, conveying his anger.

"I –I…..oh my god. I can't even….wha…when did you start doing that?" Shepard managed in between gasping breaths.

Garrus was speechless. Here he was, concerned about her well-being and she had gone and pulled rank on him, now laughing in his face about it. "Commander." His cool tone prompted Shepard to gently place a hand on his armored chest.

"No, no, it's just…your head," she tried explaining to him, "It's…it's bobbing around like a parrot." She held her stomach as her laughter subsided. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to laugh at you. I was just not expecting that. It's adorable, really."

Garrus immediately ceased the movement of his head and cued up a search for 'earth parrot head bobbing' on his targeting visor. He was still so angry; his talons curling into his clenched fist. "Adorable, Shepard?" he hissed. "I didn't do it on purpose. It's natural for a Turian to respond that way when severely insulted." He selected the most promising search result and watched the first ten seconds of the vid.

Shepard hit the 'stop' button on the elevator and Garrus raised the plate above his eye at her.

"OK, we need to talk about this right now. How have I never seen this before? Does every Turian do it? How is your head even able to do that anyway?" She began poking and prodding at his neck in search of the answer.

"Shepard," Garrus warned, his voice was firm; irritated.

"Hmm? Oh, wait, maybe this weird spot thingy is the extra muscle that can…"

"Shepard." His voice began to waver.

She pushed down on the newly discovered raised circle underneath his fringe and he let out a deep moan.

Eyes wide, Shepard pulled back and stared at him. "That's….that's not the parrot muscle." She watched his mandibles flare in embarrassment and he brought one of his crossed arms to the top of his head, rubbing at it, absentmindedly.

"Uh, yea. That's a pretty sensitive spot."

She smirked at him. "I didn't know." She gently swept her arm up his chest armor, stopping at his cowl. "Listen, I know you were worried about me out there. But you have to trust me, okay? I wouldn't have made the break for that door if I didn't absolutely know for sure that you and Zaeed had my back." Her fingertips glided up across his cowl and over to his face. A soft purr was released from his chest and the vibrations that traveled through her body made her heart race. "It means a lot that you care, by the way," she said, looking into his bold, blue eyes.

Garrus reached down for Shepard to pull her into his chest, his talons gently grasping at the strands of hair that had been freed from her signature bun. He hummed and Shepard gasped at the sensation. He pulled back to look down at her. "You know. We talked about maybe releasing some tension the other day. I could really go for that right about now."

She pulled back and gazed up at him; there was a predatory look in his eyes that gave her goose bumps. She nodded her head and stood up on her tiptoes and wordlessly brushed her lips against his mandible. His grip on her tightened and she watched as he reached over to the elevator console and pushed the button for her cabin.

Shepard hadn't even realized the elevator door had opened until Garrus began slowly pulling her to her cabin door. "EDI?"

"Yes, Shepard."

"You might want to get someone to give the elevator door a good wipe-down. I uh…spilled some water on it." She bit her lip to suppress a moan as Garrus pinned her up against the door, dragging his long, thin tongue up her neck.

"Yes, of course, Shepard."

Eyes closed, she gave in to the sensation of his warm rough tongue on her skin, feeling the waves of pleasure roll over her. Her cabin door opened and she felt Garrus walk her backwards towards the bed.

"So, a parrot, huh?" His voice was deep and seductive.

"Mmhmm." Her eyes popped open as she gasped. "Maybe I can get an eye patch the next time we dock at the Citadel," her voice grew excited as she ran towards the back of the room and jumped on top of the bed, putting her hands on her hips. "Ahoy, matey! My parrot you will be!"

Garrus blinked at her.

"I can be like a pirate! Earth history – look it up."

Garrus sighed as he pulled up the search on his visor for the second time, watching Shepard dash across the cabin brandishing an imaginary weapon in her hand. His mandibles shifted in the human equivalent of a grin. He loved everything about her.