So, here we are.

Thank you so much for all the reviews, the follows, and the favorites for this story ... I am humbled indeed that so many of you actually liked this story enough to respond. If I didn't answer your review, I do apologize and hope you know that it was greatly appreciated.

We are here at the end of this little chapter of the continuing saga that is Tony and Ziva. I had waited until the season finale before I finished writing this last part because I wanted to see if anything major happened. I wanted this story to sort of fit in with the show and maybe it still will ... maybe it won't. You guys will have to decide.

Again, I wrote this from my heart and mind, how I saw Tony reacting; if it doesn't fit the way you saw it ... then feel free to blame it all on me.

Thanks again for everything, you guys are the greatest.

And now, the conclusion of 'Alone'.

Always

For a moment, Ziva stood in front of the open elevator door, her voice frozen in her throat and her feet cemented in place. Her eyes focused on Tony's and she saw that, yes, he had been crying and maybe talking to Abby about what had happened between them, and not just about Gibbs. Again, she felt the tug in her heart that maybe he was in better spirits now and that maybe, just maybe, all was not lost.

Tony's eyes betrayed nothing of the storm that was ragging inside of his heart and mind. He remained unmoving, his green eyes locked with Ziva's brown ones, but his heart was thumping madly in his chest. He knew she had been crying, she'd been crying when he left her in the elevator earlier, but these tears were fresh. She was coming from the morgue and Tony knew that Ducky was still there. They must have talked he thought to himself. Not sure as to what state of mind she was in, he remained silent, a lump the size of Nebraska stuck in his throat.

As the two stood there, motionless, the elevator suddenly chimed and the door began to close. Neither moved an inch. Just as the door was about to cut off one from the other, two hands simultaneously sprang into the gap, one male, one female, causing the doors to open once again. The door opened, but neither moved, nor spoke. Silence, it seemed, was going to be their defence against what could be said at that moment.

Ziva let her eyes fall back to the floor as she took the initiative and stepped in to the lift. She took a position not close to Tony, but not too far away either, just inside an arm's reach. The chime sounded and the door closed again, this time it finished its course and the two were now again together in the one room where they could share just between themselves ... or not.

"Which floor?" Tony asked, his voice cold, devoid of any emotion.

Ziva had to swallow her anxiety before she spoke. "Parking level."

Tony pressed the lighted button for the parking deck, and they felt the floor move under their feet. Ziva noted that he hadn't asked if she was leaving or where she was going, something he had always pestered her about when she left unexpectedly. Tony wanted to ask but his mind and his mouth had suddenly become distant strangers, afraid to communicate.

They both felt the floor move beneath their feet as the elevator rose to the designated floor. Only four words had been shared in the last few seconds, but the two found themselves totally bewildered by the other. Ziva wanted to grab Tony and apologize, say she was sorry for everything; Tony was wrestling with the hurt and anger that still coursed through his heart. The tension in the small metal box began to grow to smothering levels as the man and woman struggled to put words to their feelings.

When Tony hadn't moved or said anything, Ziva began to feel what little hope she had, begin to fade away. She glanced up at the numbers over the door and knew that in just a matter of seconds, the elevator would stop, the door would open, and she would be at her destination. Would she just step out into the parking garage and walk away? Would he try to stop her? Could they fix this? Did they even want to?

Tony felt the elevator begin to slow its ascent as it neared the level where Ziva would get off and leave. His head was swimming with what to say to her or would he even be able to speak at all. His palms were sweaty and his knees felt as if they might give way at any moment.

The elevator stopped moving ... he had to do something ... now!

As the lift stopped, Ziva took a step forward anticipating the opening of the doors, but out of the corner of her eye, she saw Tony's hand shoot out and flip the 'Run' switch to 'Stop'. Her breath caught in her chest and she froze for a moment. What was he going to say? Or do? She felt her chest constrict and it was suddenly very hot in the small area they were in.

When Tony didn't immediately speak, Ziva slowly turned so she could face him. What she saw shocked her. Unshed tears were threatening to fall from his sad eyes and he looked like he had lost something very dear to him. She wanted to reach up and touch his cheek but her hands stayed frozen at her sides. Rolling her shoulders back in an effort to appear strong, she remained stoic, her face blank.

Tony reached up and rubbed his eyes, trying to get the stinging tears to stop. He took a deep breath and then slowly exhaled, hoping it would help him find the words he needed to say. It didn't.

"Ziva, I ... um ... well I'm ..." This wasn't going well.

Ziva was patient though, she wanted to give him the time he needed to gather his thoughts; so that, hopefully, the outcome of this conversation would be better than their last. She wondered what he would say. Would he forgive her for hurting him ... again? Could their partnership survive another mis-step in this awkward dance they continued to perform?

Realizing he was wasting time, Tony decided to just open his mouth and let the words fall where they may.

"Ziva, I've had a little time to cool off and I have something to say before I can't talk anymore."

She nodded in understanding and waited for the words to come.

"I don't want you to think that I hate you, I could never do that."

Ziva felt like she could breathe again and her heart pumped madly in her chest. The hope that was dead just moments before, blossomed inside her soul. She could see the torment etched on his face as he struggled to talk to her and her heart ached at the thought that Tony would ever have difficulty talking to her. She could blame Parsons all she wanted, but really, deep down, she knew who caused this ... her. If only she could be as honest with Tony as he was being with her.

Tony took another deep, shaky breath. "Earlier, I may have said some things that I didn't really mean. I'm still angry and hurt Ziva ... I won't lie to you about that, not now."

Again, she almost reached out to touch him, to show him that she understood why he was in pain. She didn't though, even when every part of her screamed for her to comfort him, her defense mechanisms were still in place, defending her heart from any more pain.

Tony appeared to calm down a little, his breathing returning to a more relaxed level. Unfortunately, his mind and heart were still in a whirlwind of pain and hurt.

"I talked to Abby for a little while and she made me see things for what they really are. I've changed my mind about something and I need to tell you what it is."

Ziva couldn't breathe anymore. Maybe he's not going to split us up. Maybe he won't make me leave. Hope flooded her as she held to the one thing that might get her through all that had happened. The look on his face revealed nothing, so she just waited for him to go on.

Tony cleared his throat and then he spoke just loud enough for her to hear. "I'm not going to ask Vance to transfer you off the team."

The smile that formed on Ziva's face was so big, it actually hurt but she couldn't stop it. We can work this out. I can fix this now. If we stay together as partners, all is not lost! Her hands went to her chest and clasped over her heart.

"Tony, thank you! I am so sorry, we can get through this ... if you give me some more time, I know that we can ... "

He raised his hand and cut her off. "I wasn't finished."

She wouldn't have reacted differently if he had actually reached out and slapped her. His voice was cold and absent of any emotion, crushing her heart under the weight of his words.

"I said I wasn't going to ask for you to be transferred ... I'm still leaving."

Her mind went blank. Her stomach sank to her knees. Ziva didn't even know how she stayed standing. The look on her face asked 'why' without her needing to say the word.

"This is your family Ziva ... Gibbs, Ducky, Tim, Abbs, even Palmer. This is all the family you have left Ziva ... I won't take that away from you."

"What about you Tony ... why can't you stay with me?"

"Ziva ... I ... I ... I love you. I have loved you for a long time now." Again, he couldn't look at her as he spoke. "I hoped that if I waited long enough, was patient long enough, that you would eventually feel the same way. Recent events have proven to me that you never see me as anything but a friend, nothing more."

"Tony ..." She said it so softly he didn't seem to hear her. If he did, he just ignored it.

"I thought I could just be just your friend through all of this ... but I can't, I'm not that strong. I can't be this close to you and not want you all to myself. I can't hear you laugh and not love you even more. I can't work with you day in and day out and not want to take you in my arms and kiss you until you can't breathe. I can't be around you knowing that you will always choose to be with someone else instead of me."

Ziva finally reached out to touch him, but he snatched his arm away from her, as if she touched him, it would burn.

"I waited for you to come back from Israel because I missed everything about you. I felt like part of me was absent ... but when you came back, you were different, distant. I thought it was because of your father's death, so I gave you space, let you work it out in your own way. You didn't call or answer my text messages, but I still waited for you to come around. You came back to work and, still, you were really there."

Tony ran his hands through his hair in an effort to regain control. He failed miserably. He clenched his teeth as he remembered what had triggered this entire painful episode.

"Then that damned Parsons asked you about Adam ... I saw the look on your face. You didn't answer his question, not with words anyway. Right then I knew why you were acting so strange."

Tony spun back around so fast that Ziva took a step back in shock.

"Why didn't you call me?! Why didn't you ask me to go with you!?" He face was turning red now. His finger jabbed at her, stopping just inches from her. She could literally feel the heat of his anger emanating from his skin. She wanted to say it was all a mistake, a HUGE mistake, but she knew that it wouldn't take away the pain she had caused.

Tony gasped as his rage threatened to overwhelm him and he closed his eyes and counted ten to himself, desperate to regain control. Stepping back, he gave both of them some room to breath. He looked up at a spot behind her, unable to meet her gaze.

The next words caused Ziva's heart to break all over again. "I was packed you know? The night I came to see you off at the airport and I said to you ... well, I said ... those words to you, I had my bags in the trunk. I would have gone with you ... all you had to do was ask."

Ziva's tears were now falling freely down her face, her fingernails digging into her palms. No, no, no ... please ... no!

"But you didn't need ... or want me to go, and I was okay with that. I figured you'd call if you needed anything ... anything Ziva! I thought you needed to say goodbye to your father in your own way ... without me to worry about." Tony had to reach up and wipe away some of his own tears before he could continue.

"If I had know that you would need someone to be there with you ... I would have ... I ... " He couldn't finish. Both of them knew what needed to be said that couldn't be said. "Damn it Ziva! I stayed packed the entire week you were gone. I stayed off my phone, just in case. Why didn't you call me? I could have been there in just a few hours ... I thought that if you needed someone, that I would have been the first one you called." A long moment of silence fell and Ziva hoped he was done.

He wasn't.

"But I was wrong ... again. I've been wrong so many times about so many things when it comes to you that I just don't know anymore."

Ziva waited for more words but none came. When he didn't speak, she had to ask. "What don't you know, Tony?"

Without hesitating, he answered. "Why I keep doing this."

"Doing what?"

Anger rose up in his voice, even though he tried to stop it. "Letting you play with my feelings, Zee-va." He had always said her name sweetly, this time he had almost spit it out. "You take what you want from me, when you want it, and then you leave me to pick up the pieces and I can't do it anymore."

Silence filled the small room. Ziva's heart pounded so hard in her chest that she knew the entire building could hear it. Say something you idiot! Inside, she was screaming at herself. The words "Tony, I love you too" died in her throat, her mind just wouldn't let go of the fear of being hurt, abandoned again. Even though the man she loved was crumbling right before her eyes, her resolve was steadfast.

Tears fell down his cheeks as Tony finally looked up into her beautiful brown eyes. "I love you Ziva, I really do, but I can't stay here and let you use that fact to hurt me any more." He leaned toward her and she thought he was going to wrap his arms around her and hug her, but he only flipped the 'Stop' switch to 'Run' and the elevator came back to life. The doors opened to the parking garage and even thought that had been her destination, Ziva made no move to leave and the doors closed again. Tony quickly pressed the number to take him up to the office.

Ziva stood transfixed in place, unable to move or even think. Stop this ... stop him! But she didn't move, didn't react. She just did what she always did. Protected herself. The ride to the fourth floor was made in silence, only soft sniffles could be heard from time to time.

His voice was soft and low ... sad and broken. "I had always prayed that one day you would find someone who you could love as much as they loved you." Tony paused for a moment, looking down at the floor. "I had hoped that it would have been me ... I guess I was wrong."

When the lift stopped, Tony moved quickly moved to the door even before it opened. The chime sounded and before Ziva even had time to act, he was moving through the door and he hadn't even looked back at her.

"Time to go save our boss." And he disappeared around the corner.

Tears filled her eyes once more. It surprised her, because she thought that she didn't have any left. If her heart stopped beating, she wouldn't have noticed because it no longer had anything to beat for. Her hands moved to her throat, her sobs choking her breath. The doors began to close, the only sounds were from a devastated woman who just repeatedly cried out, "Tony ... no Tony, please ...Tony ..."

Epilogue

There were two stacks of papers in front of Tony as he sat at his kitchen counter. It was Tuesday and he had to finish with the paper-work before tonight. He glanced at the clock above the sink, it was 6:35 p.m. and he had been delaying this for as long as possible. His hand ached slightly from all the forms he had been filling out for the majority of his afternoon, a cool glass of tea sitting off to his right, the condensation leaving small circles on the marble every time he took a drink.

One of the stacks was much larger than the other, containing all kinds of forms detailing personal information, a rather extensive resume, and references. The other stack really consisted of only one piece of paper. At the top was the official letterhead of the Federal Bureau of Investigation and at the bottom were blanks that were already filled out. In one box was the name and signature of Senior Field Agent Tobias C. Fornell, the one right next to it was labeled "Name of Applicant (Please Print): " and just below that, a box for the applicant's full signature.

Tony had been looking at that particular piece of paper for the better part of an hour now. His mind was still wrestling with what he had been so sure of earlier that day. Was this really what he wanted ... needed ... to do?

Leave N.C.I.S.

Join the F.B.I.

Wow.

Tony had always thought that Fornell didn't like him or even think he was a good agent, but recent events had changed that perspective. It had only been a few days after he had placed his badge on Vance's desk right beside McGee's and Ziva's, that his phone had rung and Fornell had asked for Tony to think about a change. A change that would keep him in federal law enforcement, which he loved, and give him the space from ... well, from other, more personal matters. Tobias had secretly wanted to steal Tony away from Gibbs for years but had never had a really good opportunity to make an offer, and then Parsons had shown up and a lot of things had changed.

Fornell had immediately offered Tony a place and with his recommendation, Tony would be able to bypass most of the required training and evaluations to become an agent for the F.B.I. It took Tony a few days to think it over and come to the conclusion that this would probably be the best option; he'd get to do what he loved and still be in D.C. where he could keep in touch with McGee, Abby, Ducky, Gibbs, even Palmer ... and he could still keep an eye on her.

He hasn't seen her since that day the three of them had resigned to save their boss. It had already been four weeks and he wondered what she had been doing with herself since then. Even McGee hadn't heard much from her and the few times he had the nerve to call, her phone had gone straight to voice-mail. Their last conversation at N.C.I.S. played over and over in his mind as he hoped that what he had down had been the best course of action.

He loved her.

He knew that.

She knew that.

He also knew that she didn't feel the same way, and probably never would. Friendship. That's all she wanted in their partnership and relationship. The one thing she wanted and he couldn't give it to her. He wanted to stay with her, but in the end, he knew that the more he was with her, the more he would want her. The more he would want more from her, and that wasn't going to be fair to either one. He wouldn't be able to listen to her talk about a fun date or the guy she met while on vacation. Tony wanted her all for himself and she had made it clear, with her words and actions, that that simply wasn't going to happen.

At least, not with him.

Just thinking about her made his heart ache at the idea of being with her ... all of her ... of being able to give himself totally to someone, without holding anything back. Working beside her every day would be absolute torture; her voice, her laugh, ... God, her smile. That perfume she wore would linger in his mind for hours after she had departed for the day and it seemed as if he couldn't get enough of her. Ever.

He really wanted to be happy, but he also wanted the same for Ziva. That's how he had realized he loved her in the first place. Yes, he wanted her to be with him, but if that wasn't what it would take for her to be happy, he would give that to her. That's why he had stood by and watched her get close to marrying C.I.A. Ray, why he didn't step in when she was dating that lawyer fellow, and that was why he was letting her go now.

When you love someone, sometimes you have to let them go.

Tony always wanted to punch someone in the face when they said that, but now, he was beginning to understand how that could be true. His only wish for Ziva, was that she could finally find happiness. It would have been wonderful if she had chosen him ... but she hadn't, and Tony would have to live by that, even though it felt like his heart would stop beating every time her name passed his lips.

So, here he was, his future set out on the counter before him. He was to deliver the completed paperwork to Tobias at 10:00 a.m. sharp tomorrow morning, and he would be on his way on a new job, new friends and co-workers.

Thinking of new friends along with his old ones, he checked the time once more. McGee and Abby would be there soon for a pizza and movie night. Abby had begged for them to get together and she was bringing a copy of "Les Miserables' that she hadn't seen yet. Tony had agreed to watch the musical, even though it wasn't his favorite type of show. She had pleaded with her sad puppy-dog eyes until he had relented, and poor McGee was coming for moral support. Abby just couldn't wait to see and hear Hugh Jackman singing, she said he made her weak in the knees.

Tony smiled to himself, thankful for the long and winding road that brought him to where he was. He remembered the good times shared with the ones he loved ... and even the bad times were so bad after all. Mental pictures of friends and loved ones, some still around, others passed on, danced in his mind as unshed tears edged his eyes. After all he had been through, all the pain, all the joys ... he realized he wouldn't be who he was if not for all of it.

He picked up the pen and quickly scrawled out his signature across the appropriate box. Dropping the pen, he picked up the lone paper and slipped it into the folder that Fornell was expecting. Tony stood and carried the file toward his front door, he knew if he left it on the counter it would have pizza stains on it by the end of the evening.

Just as he placed the papers on the table by the door, his doorbell rang and there was a firm knocking from the other side. Expecting a pizza delivery person, Tony peeked through the peephole and smiled as he saw one large eye, belonging to one Abby Scuito, looking back at him. Laughing softly to himself, he unlatched the safety chain and stepped back as he opened the door.

"Ooffff"

"Tony! Tony! Tony! Tony! Tony!"

Gasping for air under the incredibly strong hug that Abby now had him in, Tony tried to speak. "Nice to see you too Abbs. Miss me much?"

She stepped back a little, releasing him, but then she slapped him across his shoulder. "Of course I've missed you! I haven't seen you since Saturday!"

McGee stepped up behind her and nodded to Tony. "Yeah, it's been three days Abby, I don't think that's long enough to go into 'Tony-withdrawal'."

Abby didn't have to say anything for her to convey that, after the month they've had, three days was far too long for her not to see her best friends. She moved into Tony's apartment, depositing a DVD case on the table and kicking her boots off her feet and against the wall. Leaving the guys by the door, she ran and leaped into the oversized couch in the livingroom. "Dibbs on the couch!"

Tony and McGee shared a silent look at the crazy forensic scientist currently burrowing into the pillows, before they chuckled together.

"Good to see you Tony."

Tony shot his friend a trade-marked but sincere smile. "Same here McGoogle, same here."

"Pizza on the way?"

"Should be here any minute. Hope you like anchovies."

The look on Tim's face was priceless. "Come on Tony, you know I can't stand those. I don't want to see or smell the ... wait, cute Tony, real cute."

"Hey, I haven't been able to pick on you for weeks ... I was having withdrawals of my own." Tony smiled again, trying to let his buddy know just how much times like this meant to him. Then they were both laughing and Tony quickly closed the door behind them. He picked up the DVD from the table and opened it as he walked over to the entertainment system.

"Did you hear back from Ziva?" Tony was actually surprised he had said her name without choking up.

Tim looked at his friend, sadness behind his eyes. "Yeah ... well, she said she couldn't make it, something else she had to do."

Tony's head dropped for a moment and Tim tried to come up with something that might ease the absence of the fourth member of their own posse. "I think some recruiters from the C.I.A. have been talking to her and maybe she's tied up with that." It even sounded lame when he said it. "You still talking to Fornell at the Bureau?"

Tony nodded. "Yeah, I finally signed the papers. I turn them in tomorrow morning."

Abby looked up from the couch, her eyes just a little sad at the changes going on around her. "I still can't believe all this is happening, I don't know how to ..."

Tony cut her off before she could get on one of her emotional rants. "Hey Abbs ... not tonight okay?"

Her expression displayed her feelings but she also knew that these things happened for a reason, and tonight was not the night to try and sort it all out.

"I'll still be in D.C.; McMystery is working on his next book; Gibbs is doing whatever Gibbs is doing ... and Ziva, well ... she's doing .. she's ... " and Tony started to lose track of his thoughts.

McGee placed his hand on his friend's shoulder. "It's okay Tony, it's okay."

Tony nodded as he was placing the disc into the player. He turned and tossed the remote to Abby who juggled it twice before it landed with a thump on the edge of the couch, batteries spilling on the floor.

"Oops."

"Smooth Abbs, real smooth." Tony actually started to grin.

Then he couldn't help but laugh at Abby as she flung herself to the floor, calling out to the batteries as the rolled further away from her grasp. McGee kneeled down and caught two just before they disappeared under the love-seat, but he bumped his head on the end table in his haste.

"Owww."

Laughter, hard and loud erupted from Tony before he even realized what he was doing. The anguish and pain of the past weeks, the past few moments, falling away from his heart at the antics of his friends. Oh, how he had needed this. He hurried over to where the quest-to-find-the-batteries was happening and the door bell rang.

Leaving Tim rubbing his forehead and Abby halfway under his couch, Tony strolled over to the door. As he leaned down to look through the peep, a small part of his heart hoped that maybe Ziva had changed her mind and was going to join them. What would he do or say if she was standing just on the other side of the door? Would he be able to do or say anything?

Relief and disappointment flooded Tony as he took in the lone pizza deliveryman standing in the hallway. Quickly opening the door and paying for the three steaming pizzas, he turned and headed toward his kitchen. He spread the boxes out and heard his companions clamoring up from the floor. They joined him just as he finished opening the last pizza box.

"Really Tony? I thought you were kidding about the anchovies!"

Abby was laughing herself to tears at the horror written on Tim's face.

"It's only half of one pizza McGrumble ... you'll live."

Suddenly the kitchen filled with a chorus of laughs, giggles, and other happy sounds as three friends shared one of those moments that defied description, but would not easily be forgotten.

Yes, the team was incomplete. Yes, there were changes ahead and things were not the same. But one thing was certain. Through it all, all the years of working so close together, bonds had been formed that nothing could sever.

Not distance, not different careers, not unrequited love.

Tony realized at that moment that even when life turns out differently than what you had wanted or planned, it was still life. It moved forward in ways that sometimes brought pain or joy, loss or happiness, but it was just life. He knew that whatever came his way, that he would get through and, in the end, he would be exactly where he was supposed to be.

He would always trust in that.

Always.

...

THE END

Whew! Made it!

I wrote this last chapter after the season finale, so the events portrayed in the first half happened before the team split up. Tony didn't get the chance to leave the team, before the team resigned, but that was his intent.

I'm sorry if this was not the happy Tiva ending that you may have wanted, it was just the way I imagined it happening. The 'friend-who-wants-to-be-more-but-it-won't-happen' gambit is always a difficult path to tread and I hope I did justice to both Ziva and Tony in this story. If this isn't what you wanted, there are plenty of excellent stories on Fanfic with happier Tony/Ziva partnership/relationship endings. In fact, I read those too.

And the words 'The End' above means only the ending of this part of the story. Who knows what will happen to these characters next? Only the writers at NCIS and the incredible writers here can answer that.

Thanks again for all the reviews, follows, and favs for "Alone". I have been touched and humbled by you all and thank you for letting me share this experience with you.

If you're a fan of NCIS: Los Angeles, check out my only other fanfic "Aunt Hetty" over there. I had to stop work on it to finish this one so that's what I'll be working on.

Until the next time.

Semper Fi

Always Faithful

JS