Tissue warning

What is one supposed to do when the worst thing happens? Especially when they're not the only one affected by it. No answer? Yeah, Toby didn't have one, either. All he could tell you was that in the span of four little months, his entire life changed. Only to change back.

One:

It all started with a missed period. Toby and Spencer were immediately worried. Spencer never missed a period and it didn't take an IQ as high as Spencer's to know what that was indicative of.

Toby had rushed to the drug store and wasn't allowed to come home until he had at least three pregnancy tests. He brought back eight.

All eight were positive.

A doctor visit two days later confirmed what the couple already knew. Becoming parents at nineteen and twenty certainly wasn't part of the plan, but there wasn't much to do about that now.

Toby and Spencer didn't even consider abortion. They were both Pro Choice – When the choice wasn't theirs. Adoption was thought over and researched as carefully as a Hastings can be, but when the two stopped and actually became honest with one another, they realized neither of them could live with giving their baby away. Which only left one option.

The Hastings' weren't exactly thrilled, but they reacted much better than Spencer had expected. The day after the big announcement, Veronica bought a teddy bear and a green baby blanket.

Two:

The girls were happy if Spencer was. Hanna went a little crazy with the baby clothes. Spencer had to remind her they had seven months for that. Emily was calling dibs on Godmother and agreed that Hanna and Aria could duke it out for Baby #2.

Jason punched Toby in the gut before promptly hugging his little sister and offering his congratulations.

Spencer and Toby hadn't even considered telling his family. Why did they need to know if they weren't going to be in the baby's life?

Three:

Spencer adored the wall of pamphlets at her doctor's office. Apparently cord blood banking was important to know about these days.

Toby bought a baby name book that was already seeing it's fair share of mileage. They couldn't imagine what the binding would look like by the time Spencer actually delivered.

They still weren't sure if they wanted to know the sex. Everyone had different opinions about keeping it a surprise or not, but ultimately it was Spencer and Toby's decision.

They still had a bit of time before they would be able to tell or not, anyway. They'd figure it out.

Four:

Spencer finally began to show around her sixteenth week. Just a small bump above her waistline that you probably couldn't even see if you weren't looking for it. The Dr. Renner said it was common for pregnant women not to begin to show too much for the first few months and not too worry about not gaining too much weight. Spencer would probably blow up toward the end of her second trimester.

Spencer's blood pressure was low, the baby's heartbeat was strong and steady and everything was going as it should be.

Were it a movie and not a living nightmare Toby was experiencing, the cynic in him might have appreciated the irony. Just eight hours after Dr. Renner told them everything was going normally with a smile on her face, Spencer woke Toby up in a panic.

She was bleeding.

The drive to the ER had never seemed longer.

Neither Toby nor Spencer were surprised when the ER doctor told them the baby was gone. Spencer hadn't done anything wrong, he'd assured them, sometimes, these things just happened. Not being surprised didn't make it hurt less, unfortunately.

Spencer cried while the doctor and Toby comforted her.

Her bump wouldn't get bigger, it would be gone soon and there would be no baby to show for it. They weren't going to find out the gender and argue over names or feel kicks. Toby tried to reinforce what the doctor had told them.

It wasn't Spencer's fault. Knowing it was no one's fault didn't stop Spencer from blaming herself, anyway.

Five:

The bump was gone and the clothes packed away in a box in the attic. Spencer wasn't ready to pack up the one and only sonogram, yet, though.

Or the teddy bear her mom had bought a now non-existent grandchild. Spencer would fall asleep clutching it now.

Toby had taken it upon himself to be the one to make the phone calls. It wasn't fun telling Dr. Renner to cancel the next appointment. She'd made some good suggestions about what she told her other patients going through it, though.

Spencer didn't see Dr. Renner, anymore. Now she saw Dr. Clyde. He was a psychiatrist that Dr. Renner suggested. He specialized in all kinds of loss and everyone held out hope that eventually he would be able to get Spencer to cope since no one else was getting through to her.

Six:

Dr. Clyde was a good doctor. Spencer smiled a little more.

She didn't sleep with the teddy bear anymore, but it stayed on the bed. Toby had a feeling that wouldn't change anytime soon, but he liked it there.