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I don't own Rizzoli and isles.

Neither you, nor Jane have said anything to each other since the small conversation you had managed to get out of her earlier on in the evening. This wasn't because you didn't have support to offer her, or words to make the pain at least a little better, but because she had simply stood up and made her way to the guest room after speaking, leaving you alone in the living room to work through your thoughts.

Sometimes, late at night, when you are supposed to be sleeping, you think about what life would be like if you and Jane were together. You can never picture anything but a smile on her face and a laugh between your lips, because that's how it is even when you are just best friends. You have always known, really deep down, that there is no way that confessing your feelings could ruin what you and Jane have, because its something truly spectacular.

You're just scared. Because what if.

Before Jane, you would sit in the corner of the room observing people's facial expressions and you would wonder exactly what it was they would be thinking. You would eat dinner alone, while you dug deep into some medical marvel story in a huge pile of books that would forever be strewn out on the table in front of you. Before Jane, you laughed when you were supposed to, but never really because you wanted to. Because you never really understood.

But Jane changed you; from the very second you saw those eyes, even though she stood there in tacky clothes begging for a stale doughnut, you somehow felt a small light that had been broken fix itself inside of you. You started to talk to her, and she started to teach you without even realising what it was that she was doing. Because, to Jane Rizzoli, you are not just a walking encyclopaedia or 'queen of the dead' or an emotionally awkward stranger: To Jane, you have always been Maura.

It has taken you a long time to realise who exactly that is, but now you are starting to notice things about yourself you could never see before. You liked joking around with her on your lunch break, because you have a sense of humour. You like beer, because sometimes you don't have to drink wine that is better for your heart. You have realised that you have an ability to love another human being so much that it sometimes feels like you are about to collapse onto the ground and fall into oblivion. Thanks to Jane Rizzoli, it's okay to wear pyjamas on a sunday and watch silly television (that you don't enjoy, but why not pretend for her sake?) and it's okay to not always be calm and collective. It's okay to be a normal, non genius, human being.

You knock the door lightly and walk inside to find her laying on the bed with her legs up to her chest. You decide it's best not to speak and you take position next to her on the bed, feeling her instantly relax beside you makes you realise how much she needs you even when she walks away. You reach over and touch her arm.

"My mother once told me that, although it is okay to cry, it is not okay in front of strangers." You shuffle an inch closer and continue, "and she told me that this was because I was going to be a very accomplished woman one day. I would earn the respect of my fellow co-workers because I would be able to constantly hold a professional mind. Although, at the time, I felt as though this advice was incredibly useful and I was grateful for anything my mother taught me…i've come to realise that she was wrong."

You move even closer and your arm is touching Jane's. "Over the past three years of knowing you, Jane Rizzoli. I've learned something incredibly useful that I will take with me for the rest of my life. It's okay to feel things. It's okay to get emotional and cry, even if people are going to see me. I've learned that it doesn't make me any less professional to feel things. You've indirectly taught me to not be queen of the dead. Before you were in my life, I was a cold woman. Not in the sense that I wasn't nice to people, because i've always tried my very best to be polite and well mannered. However, I never felt things the way they were supposed to be felt. Isles have to push through it and be strong, thats just the way it is. I watch You hold back your feeling so much and I know that it is for entirely different reasons than myself, but you have unknowingly taught me time and time again that it's okay to be sad."

Jane takes a shuddering breath and turns to face you with tears in her eyes and a look that pleads you to continue.

"I've watched you for so long now. I've seen you at your best and your worst. I was there, watching, when you came back to work after Hoyt. We weren't as close back then, but I remember seeing you and thinking, god, what a wonderfully brave woman. There you were, standing with your badge and gun and a huge smile on your face when everyone clapped and cheered, because you wanted to be the detective you've always been. I was there with you when you recovered from the shooting. I was there, watching as you woke up and smiled to your mother because you were more concerned about showing her that you were okay, to deal with the pain you were feeling. I've been here this whole time, watching even when you don't realise that I am. I've seen you cry and held you while you dealt with things no human should ever have to deal with. I've watched you pick yourself up so many times and…"

You grab both her hands with the same gentleness she had grabbed yours during words of encouragement she had given you before after your conversation with Hoyt and she stares into your eyes.

"I love what you do. I love who you are. Your determination. Your resilience. Your patience. You are a champion."

"Maur…I-"

"shh," you run your hands through her hair and you smile. You wipe a tear away from her cheek with your thumb "Those scars that Hoyt left behind, those aren't a reminder of what he did. Those are a reminder of what you survived. against all the odds."

"But he hurt you."

There it is again. You sigh because you know that she is blaming herself and, even though it hurt and it terrified you, you also know that it isn't something she should be hurting herself over.

"He did. But that wasn't your fault. I am okay, see? I am safe and that is because of you."

"Every night I dream about it." she closes her eyes and takes another shuddering breath and when she looks back at you, her lips are trembling, she is finally opening up. "I dream that he comes back, that he watches me sleep, that he watches me through my window and he watches me go to work like he is waiting. Every single night, I wake up and I have to lock my doors again. It's irrational, because he is dead and he can't come back. It started out as small scary dreams and they got worse and worse an-"

"Jane…"

"No, don't…just let me finish, it's okay." she grips your hands to seek safety. "but then he started hurting you. Every night I watch him…I watch him kill you and, when I wake up, I have to remind myself that you're alive. You're okay. If he killed me, the world wouldn't lose anything particularly special, Maura. But, if he killed you, it would be like draining the water from the ocean and taking the oxygen from the air. The world would tremble and shake beneath our feet. The sky would turn dark as each star lost it's light. If he killed you…they would all feel it. I…I would…be gone."

You stare at her for a moment and the words are completely lost in your brain. All those years in fancy boarding school did nothing to prepare you for this moment right now.

"You know what you are, Jane? To me?"

"no."

"You are the stars and the universes and the light in the dark. You are the water I drink and the air I breathe and the ground I walk on. Just like you think that I might be to other people. Only, you are so much more than that. You are the parts of me that got lost when I was given away by my biological parents. You are the parts of my heart that pump the blood when it has no other reasons to pump. You are the moon and the sun and the first sign of pink blossoms in the spring. You are the reason I walk and talk and breathe….I hate that it has taken me so long to put it into words, and this isn't putting it into words because it isn't even half as much as what you are to me…God, Jane, I love you."

"I know you do, you're my best friend."

"no." she looks at you and her eyes are welling up even more. Tears spill down her cheeks so fast that you cant stop them with your thumb. You move so close that you feel her breath warm on your cheek. "I mean I love you. I love you like I've never loved anyone or anything in my entire life. I want to be with you every second of every hour of every day. I want to hug you and hold your hand and I want to be beside you from now until the day that I die. I love you, Jane Rizzoli."

She doesn't tell you that she loves you back, because she doesn't need to. You can see it in her eyes, the way your words have built her up. The way your words are settling into her brain and heart and all the places that Hoyt left broken when he left. You can see her agreeing and loving you back without even a single word. She just looks at you and she nods once.

That is all that she manages before her face crumbles and she is leaning into you. Her sobs fill the air and her arms are reaching around you as though you are the only thing that can ever protect her from anything. You know that, even though she is falling apart, you can finally help put her back together.

You know that she will finally let you.

Jane Rizzoli likes to watch you sleep and she thinks you don't know.

Jane Rizzoli likes to kiss you the second you open your eyes in the morning.

Jane Rizzoli proposes on the second of may.

Jane Rizzoli agrees to eat your cake of choice as long as you agree on serving beer instead of champagne for the toast.

Jane Rizzoli is wearing her red sox jersey and you are wearing a white dress and she still looks like the most beautiful person on the planet.

Jane Rizzoli loves you.

Jane Rizzoli said I do.

You love Jane Rizzoli.