Leaving Sunshine

Summary: Death can mean a shift in worlds. Some are better than the last, some are worst. The ones that involve magical ninjas are terrible for everyone involved. OC Self-insert set in Silver Queen's Dreaming of Sunshine Universe.

Author's Notes: I noticed that upon re-reading DoS, Ami isn't an orphan. Bluh. I'm okay with it though since Ami has been in about 3 panels in the manga total, and basically a blank slate otherwise. I'll try not to goof in the future though. Also, thanks for all your kind words in the reviews! They really help fuel my passion for this fic.

Ka – Yeah, the second exam of the Chuunin exams is going to be a pretty terrible time for Rin. Good job picking up on that.

Chapter 2

Thank god being stealthy didn't seem to be as vitally crucial criteria for ninjas, as it was for ninjas in my world that didn't have magic powers. I honestly might as well have been shouting "I'M INTERESTED IN YOU".

I had decided to investigate this Shikako chick in class. That had entailed trying to examine her during class, which might've not been as bad if I weren't at the middle of the class and she was in the back row with a slumbering Shikamaru. There was no reason for me to be staring back there.

And I was anyway.

Was she… always there? Was she introduced in some sort of spin-off movie or game? Had she been introduced in a filler episode or something? I mean, I didn't even know what Shikamaru's parents looked like; it'd be safe to say I didn't know his family at all. I suppose she could've just been a minor character that hadn't been relevant.

Hell, this could've just been the Naruto-universe with minor variations on it like a few new characters; I had no facts to suggest otherwise. I also still had no idea how or why I was reincarnated here. I mean, I was grateful, but that doesn't mean I wasn't curious. At some point in the future I'd have to investigate.

For now I'd just keep an eye on her. I would basically spend half my time paying attention to Iruka's lecture, half taking glances at her like she was a clock during a really droll class. Even in a class full of kids on their first day of ninja school some noticed.

The lunch bell rang and I found myself a corner to read my novel by my lonesome. Gee, didn't I say at one point that I was going to be bold this life? It was easy to say you'd change, but cheap promises did nothing for social anxiety.

I had time though. I could spend time socializing with the main cast when they were older. During the Chuunin exams, all the kids acted like they barely knew each other. Even though they weren't too familiar with each other, they were still good friends. That's probably when having any conversation was relevant. I bemusedly thought that even at low social links, they'd all die for each other.

I wasn't too surprised when Fuki found me. She was the only of the trio to make it into class. Sensing her presence, I looked up to find her awkwardly standing in front of me with her bento behind her back. We weren't the greatest of friends, and she did partake in riffing on me. However, when in a room full of people, you naturally gravitated towards the people you knew. Fuki wasn't particularly charismatic, or outgoing, or even truly judgmental; I'd say she joined the Bratty Bitch Trio for acceptance just as I had.

I patted the ground next to me, gesturing for her to take a seat, which she silently took. I actually didn't mind. Whenever any of the Bratty Bitch Trio would approach me individually, they really wouldn't be that bad. Not even Ami. Their intolerability seemed directly proportional to their proximity to each other or any other preppy kids. I guess they didn't feel they needed to keep up appearances to a quiet dork like me.

Fuki was surprisingly 'mature' for her age. As in she'd taken upon the teenage cynic viewpoint of everything in the world being stupid, except the person she was ranting to of course. It might've had something to do with how she became an orphan, which I'd never asked. She'd tell me if she felt like it.

"Why do you like books with so much blood and fighting?" Fuki questioned with a bit of disgust, looking at the cover of my novel.

Ninjato Five-O: The Bloodgeoning featured the eponymous Ninjato, a ninja cop who, whilst missing all his limbs, was using a special combination of water, medical, and summoning ninjutsu to use the blood from his arm stumps as weapons and the blood from his leg stumps as dragons. His motivation was to get revenge on the rival ninja clan that had taken his limbs and his gold fish's fins. On the cover Ninjato was using the blood spurts as jets Gamera-style, spinning towards the book's main antagonist: Death Face. The caption of the book was "THEY TOOK EVERYTHING FROM HIM, EXCEPT HIS BLOOD!" Why would you not want to read it?

"Should I not?" I wasn't a particular fan of gore, but the plot and fight scenes in Ninjato were quite creative, to say the least.

"Girls aren't supposed to like that kind of stuff."

"They're fun. Why does it matter?"

"People will think you're weird. Don't you care?" The way Fuki had phrased it made it sound like the very notion was a death sentence.

"Not my problem." I shrugged. "I like it, and I don't really care what they think. It's not a big deal." I was basically a young adult when I had died, but I was well out of the age where I'd let the fear of not being validated scare me out of doing things I liked.

"…that's pretty weird and doesn't make much sense. But I kinda like it." Fuki gave me a small smirk, a remarkable thing coming from her.

"Do you have a crush on that Nara boy?" Fuki asked during a lull in our conversation, as we settled on watching the other children play an intense game of Ninja.

Of course five year old boys were at the top of my list. Nothing got me going like kids who didn't even know what puberty was. I was about to laugh in her face, before I realized the truth about who I was eyeing didn't do me any favors.

"Sure." I responded, though I was unsure if my amusement was obvious in my tone, especially to a five year old.

After lunch there was taijutsu class a.k.a. PE with the goal of making badass ninjas by age twelve. I had a better idea of how hardcore the life of a ninja was when 20 laps was something you expected of five year-olds. For the entirety of my time in the public education system, with a much more mature yet still youthful body, running a mile had left me a miserable panting mess.

My sense of wonder and hope of being a powerful ninja were being trampled on by the many children that effortlessly passed me. My frustration flared whenever I'd see kids having casual conversation whilst I desperately struggled to fill my lungs with air. The only consolation was that with my training I still kept at every night made it so at full sprint I was… average. Was everyone training for this day?

During the 10th lap I was suspecting foul play. I knew for a fact that some kids hadn't trained as much as I had, Fuki was doing fine, not having to cough up her lungs to get where she was. Shikamaru probably only did training that involved sitting around doing nothing, and he was doing a lot better than I could with the same amount of effort, lightly jogging only when Iruka was glaring at him.

There had to be some sort of trick. Maybe since I didn't hear about this trick before I began running, it might just be something that was assumed you knew about. No kids this age in my world could move like these kids could, what was the difference?

Chakra. You huge idiot, if you are ever confused about how something works in this world, the answer is probably chakra.

I may not have had chakra, but I had something else. It was my motivation for training every night. The burning desire to not be worthless. To be someone I could be proud of!

Looking back on my past life, I was an utter failure. I grit my teeth. I could've potentially been great, someone who was talented and meaningful to a lot of people. But I wasn't. I left nothing in the world I left. I was nothing to my family; I was nothing to my friends.

When I was a kid, I was clever. I did well in school. I realized that I was young, and that young minds and bodies were able to quickly adapt, grow, and learn. I knew that if I wanted to, applied myself, I could be spectacular. I was content on doing nothing but indulging myself however, thinking the gifts of my youth would never go away. Then I got older.

I dropped out my first year of college, procrastinating and eventually giving up entirely when things got difficult. I was in a major I didn't care for to please my parents, because by the time I was old enough to choose, I realized I was too talentless to pursue my dreams. I wasted away all my potential, in a grand delusion that ignoring my problems or shortcomings would be fine.

I ignored the fact that time would move on regardless, content on being a big fish in a small pool. I was a self-centered and short-sighted child. The world kept turning, and all I was left with were the responsibilities of life that I couldn't own up to. I couldn't take it, and then I…

I wiped away at my eyes with the back of my arm. I wouldn't let the mistake that was my last life happen again. For some reason, I was given a second chance as Rin Kazama. And she was going to be a name to remember.

I noticed in my reminiscing, I'd fallen quite behind. Well, if I couldn't make chakra, I'd make what I could.

I flooded my body with the Not Chakra. Running was like hitting the ground with your feet, and if the Not Chakra was good at anything, it was hitting things.

As I took my first step, the ground cracked beneath my foot. Soon the world became a blur, as I rocketed past the other children. I'd vaguely noticed their surprised expressions, and I'd vaguely notice the large amount of dust I was leaving in my wake. Huh. How rude and cliché of me. I'd find myself placing my hand on the ground during turns, using it as an anchor to adjust myself. That barely slowed me down.

I could feel the wild grin on my face as I finished my 20th lap. As I let go of the Not Chakra, I felt my limbs resume screaming in agony like they were before I had used it. I plopped myself in the sidelines in a heap, feeling pretty drained. I dully looked over the field.

I'd left my foot marks and debris all over the track. I'm assuming that wasn't the norm, with the shocked expressions on my class mates and Iruka. Was it because I ripped up the track? I guess that was vandalizing, destruction of property. Sure it'd probably be easily fixed with some sort of earth creating jutsu, but breaking people's stuff was still breaking people's stuff. Plus, what if all that flying debris had hit other students? My idiocy was so apparent in hindsight. I probably could've run in a way that wasn't so excessive and even run faster if I had.

I sighed, and forced myself to get up. I shuffled over to Iruka to apologize.

"Sorry 'bout that Sensei. I messed up the track."

"T-that's true." He stuttered a bit there. Stupid track destruction must be a first. I hung my head low.

I felt a hand get placed on my shoulder. "Don't be too worried about that for now. Next time though, don't go all out like that. That was pretty impressive, but this isn't a race. It's training to build up your stamina. You'd be in bad situation if on a mission you exhausted yourself simply arriving at your objective."

"I… I did well?"

"In terms of speed? Definitely. You were going pretty fast, to finish first from so far behind."

My head shot up. Iruka was giving me a kind smile. I gave it my all in something I desperately wanted to be good at, and I had done well. When I felt the tears trickle down my face, I was about to chastise myself for being such a crybaby before I realized it was because I was happy. There was nothing wrong with that.

After the laps came stretching, sit ups, and press ups. Which is weird, they usually were the warm ups in my old PE classes. Ah whatever, probably some weird ninja reasoning behind it. There was an obstacle course, poles, games of catch. I noticed I was completely drained from the incident at the track, as I was basically falling over myself at each activity. There had been a mild reverence from the other kids before we started the other activities, but that quickly faded when they realized how useless I was afterwards.

It was good timing that that was the last class of the day. I was ready to take a nice long nap. As I was leaving to go to my dorm, I was surprised to find Shikamaru coming to speak with me.

"I don't really know you well, but sorry. Going out with girls is troublesome."

My confusion slightly overpowered my amusement at the sight of Shikamaru letting me down easy. What in the world was he talking about? Why did Shikamaru think I liked him? I didn't even talk about Shikamaru today. Maybe I did to Fuki- oh god damn it.

Fuki's resting face seemed to be a perpetual sour scowl; you'd really think of her as more the serious type. I really shouldn't have underestimated her gossip spreading skills.

Remembering I had said that to lie about who I was really taking ganders at, I noticed Shikamaru had the person in question hiding behind him. Aw, that was pretty cute. I raised my hand to give her a little wave, before I quickly shot it back down. I was still in the middle of talking with Shikamaru. That was pretty rude and awkward of me.

"That's a shame. I didn't expect you to become an old flame so quickly. Oh, how you've crushed my maiden heart…" I added as much ham to that delivery as I could, with the back of my hand on my forehead and other hand over my heart for emphasis.

Shikako seemed to get somewhat of a kick out of it. I noticed Chouji was there as well, and he was awkwardly kicking at the floor as if I was genuine and it was uncomfortable to be around.

"You're taking this better than I thought you would. Seems like you crushing on me was just a rumor." He seemed relieved. Less troubles for him I suppose.

"Yup. Dreadful things, rumors. Make for pretty amusing sights when people try to confirm them. Like this terrible first impression, for example. I'm Rin Kazama. Nice to meet you all."

"I'm Shikamaru Nara. This is my sister Shikako, and that's Chouji." He introduced, lazily gesturing to both of them. They both gave shy greetings. I tried to smile in a non-weird way (never really practiced smiling before) and waved.

Shikako then spoke to me. "You were fast in taijutsu class today."

Haha, what? That? I mean, yeah I did well but.. ehehe. I awkwardly began to scratch the back of my head.

"I was fast during the laps, yeah. Pretty useless though. Didn't you see how worn out I was afterwards? I've basically earned the title of 'Quickest to turn to pudding'."

Shikako giggled at my joke. Alright, I was 100% cool with anyone who found me funny. Maybe I'd be fine if she was unusual. She seems like she could be a good friend. I suppose I'm shallow because that's all that mattered to me.

"Chakra is bullshit!" I shouted in English as I kicked a rock into the stratosphere. Japanese was a beautiful language, but I wanted to sound as ugly as possible.

"Hand signs are bullshit, building up chakra is bullshit, chakra control is bullshit, and you…!" I pointed at a lone squirrel in the trees. He paused in the middle of letting loose on his acorn.

"I don't know you, but you're part this chakra circulatory system of bullshit, so GET OUT OF HERE!"

The squirrel ran off to eat somewhere with a lesser volume of loud jackasses. I had lost count at how many times I'd failed the transformation jutsu. Glowy hands, dog, boar, ram, nothing! The only thing that was happening was that I was gesturing faster. Great! I was great at three shadow puppets! They were pretty shitty shadow puppets too, NONE of those hand seals looked like the animals they were named!

I sighed, letting the tension and frustration flow out of me as my logic and morals slipped back into place. I mentally chastised myself for the outburst. It's not a good idea for those to slip, not even remotely, but I'd been bottling those sentiments up for a while now.

An entire day single-mindedly doing those three hand seals, even the other nine basic ones in an attempt to see if I was doing the wrongs ones, and nothing happened regardless of how perfectly, quickly, or slowly I did them. By now shouldn't I have blown myself up with some odd and catastrophic combination of seals? That would've been satisfying. Something actually happening.

I took a deep breath. After this many failed attempts, it was safe to say that repeating the same thing and expecting different results was the definition of the insane. I had to actually analyze what was going wrong. I thought back to the lectures about chakra.

All living things contained chakra in some fashion, my sensing practice proved that. The purposefully made chakra that ninjas used though was made by balancing one's physical energy, present in every cell of the body, and spiritual energy, gained from exercise and experience. If this energy I was generating wasn't chakra, then did that mean it wasn't a mix of those two energies?

I thought back to the time I'd used the Not Chakra at the track. Sure I'd felt drained afterwards, but that was because I was running that hard. It wasn't draining to summon the Not Chakra. That would eliminate Stamina from the equation.

Time to do simple algebra Rin. If Chakra = Stamina + Spirit, then Chakra – Stamina left…

Spirit? This glow, this power… was just my spirit?

I called my 'spirit' into my left hand. A familiar blue white aura encased it. I then called my spirit into my right hand, this time attempting to add my stamina. After a bout of concentration, blue flames began to burn in my palm.

Why was this happening? There had never ever been someone brought up who could do this, manifest their pure spirit like I was doing now. People could create mountains, summon giant toads, and summon lightning from their fingertips. Someone should have figured something as simple as that by now. No one even manifested stamina as energy by itself, excluding the obvious fact they used it to function. What was different about me?

I was from a different reality for one. I'd been reborn as a baby, with my consciousness intact. In my reality, I'm positive baby's brains were barely big enough to remember how to function, let alone an entire lifetime's worth of experience and memories. The only explanation would be that something not physical was used to store my memories.

My soul. My 'spirit' had inhabited this body.

Was it because of my spirit interacting with anatomy from this universe, the result of it interacting with Chakra? Was it because I had an excess of spirit? Was I simply special? Was all that theorizing just garbage and this was just some weird bloodline limit?

I don't think there was a real way for me to find out, that didn't involve heavy testing with ripping souls out. At any rate, I had to come up with a name to this strange spirit power. I couldn't just call it 'Not Chakra'.

I immediately came up with a name.

Chi.

Now, the world and I were going to behold its power.

Author's Notes: Alright before anyone frets about Chi being my way of making my OC Insert all powerful and great to make me feel super awesome about myself, while that'd be nice, I actually have a story reason for it. I'll try to clearly define its limits later on.

My end goal for this fic is to tell a story, not just try and do what Silver Queen did with her in-depth exploration of the Naruto setting and characters with Dreaming of Sunshine. I'd just be doing what she's already done but much worse, haha.