To The Contrary

By Emma

Chapter One: Remember My Sex!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of this. But at the moment I own Hermione's makeover. :)

Summary: What would be contrary? Polar opposites! And what more opposite can you get than egotistical and modest? Smart and snarky? Worried and worrisome? Purely D/Hr, people. I do many different pairings, but if you don't like this one then go away. Or be a doll and read some of my other stories in different pairings. Muah.

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Hermione Granger awoke to the annoying sound of-

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

She turned over, slammed her hand against the clock, silencing it, and groaned.

Now, what was she waking up for? Oh yes! To go to King's Cross to go back to Hogwarts for her fifth year. So that she could meet up with her friends with whom she hadn't seen all summer. So that they could poke fun at her.

Why would they do this? Well. That was a long story, but to make it short, she'd gone on another trip to France this summer. While she was there, her mother, her aunt and her great abundance of female cousins convinced her that she needed to get a true French manicure. Well, the french manicure turned to pedicure, pedicure to mudpack, mudpack to facial, facial to haircut, haircut to hairstyle, hairstyle to highlights, and highlights to an all day shoe, clothing and makeup shopping spree. Before Hermione had a chance to say a word edgewise, that day in Paris she had become a real, honest to goodness girl.

Well, Hermione thought wryly as she stepped out of the shower, At least I don't own anything pink!

And then she winced.

Yet.

~*~

"Bye Mum. Bye Dad." Hermione kissed her parents goodbye and caught them in a somewhat terrified hug. She'd never before been so afraid of school.

She loaded her trunk on a trolley and not even a minute after, she felt a bump at her jean donning hip.

She looked up to see the pale, pointed face. The sharp grey eyes. The short, white-blonde hair.

"Watch where you're going." she snapped and stared at him with a frown. He looked slightly surprised, but it looked -amazingly- as if his embarrassment was outweighing his shock. She could hear him muttering "Smooth. Very smooth." to himself as he headed away with his trolley. However, Hermione soon forgot about her little encounter with Malfoy as she felt another bump at her hip-Ron.

"Hey." she greeted Harry and Ron.

They were looking at eachother in confusion.

"Hey," said Ron in a hopeless, squeaky voice that Hermione had last heard when he had last spoken to one Fleur Delacour.

"I'm Harry." Harry stuck out his hand and adjusted his glasses nervously.

Hermione tried her best not to burst out into laughter-or tears, she couldn't tell which. She was amazed.

"Please tell me you haven't forgotten me." she said, her voice drier than the Sahara.

Then...it seemed to click. She knew because Ron's ears proceeded to get very red as he looked her up and down in a very obvious manner. Harry, on the other hand, just looked downright embarrassed.

"You two are crazy!" she exclaimed, beginning to laugh, "How long have we been best friends?"

"Five years." Harry answered as they pulled their trolleys behind her to the train in a sheepish demeanor.

"And just because of a little change in my appearance-" Hermione continued, but Ron cut her off.

"Little change! Hermione, your nails are...long! And you're wearing makeup and your hair is shorter and a totally different texture and you're half blonde for God's sake! I mean, you're dressed like a walking muggle teenage girl!"

"Minus the muggle part, that I am." Hermione replied acidly, and Ron went redder as she continued further, "And you had told me last year, you had PROMISED me Ron, that you would remember my sex."

"And for the last of last year I did! And who couldn't figure it out, with your "I'm with Vicky and I don't even care that he's rich and famous" phoney attitude!" Ron retorted, and then shrank into an empty car as Hermione swelled with anger.

"I didn't care about Viktor's social prominence! If I cared so much for popularity, why in the world would I be hanging around with YOU?"

Ron looked as though he was about to make another snarky remark when a familiar face appeared at the doorway of the train car.

"What's all this ruckus about?" said Draco Malfoy in a silky smooth voice, and Hermione turned to face him furiously, "Bugger off!" she shouted at him, and he looked her over in amazement.

"Granger?" he grinned at her, raising a blonde eyebrow, and she narrowed her eyes as he motioned to his cronies, "Lookie here, boys. We've just witnessed Granger the Great transform into a girl."

Hermione couldn't control her anger much longer, "Sod off, ferret boy!"

And with that, she stormed out of the car, shoving past a smirking Malfoy. She locked herself in a toilet and muttered bitingly to herself, "A total of two major confrontations in one morning over the same little thing!"

She exited the bathroom two minutes later, slightly calmer to be greeted by Harry and Ron.

"Sorry, Hermione." they said quietly, and the did look sincere and apologetic. She smiled.

"Don't worry yourselves about it any further. But if Malfoy runs his mouth again I'll have to reacquaint his face with the backside of my hand. Surely it won't be a pretty sight."

"To the contrary, it's true to be a wonderful sight." grinned Harry as they headed back to their train car.

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What does everybody think? Shall I continue? Review please, and I'll give you virtual cupcakes. Dedicated to the birthday of James Marsters. Yum.