A/N: Apologies for taking so long to update. I started out so good with the updating. Hope you guys still remember the story and thanks for all the reviews from past chapters. Much appreciated.

Chapter 17

Peeta's POV

I felt bad when I saw Haymitch's face. I don't know why he let me beat him up in the first place. It's something I regret immensely but I just lost it when he told me I had been left behind. As if I was useless. It's my wife for God's sakes. To leave me behind was cruel and I blame him and stupid Gale. If Katniss doesn't come back I will blame them, although I know they would have tried their best.

Whenever I think about their decision I start to get hot and bothered, but then I see Haymitch's busted lip, black eye and broken nose and it somehow subdues me.

The first time he saw me after the incident, I got a kick in my groin. Before I could get a word out. I just remember feeling shooting, stabbing pains, letting out some sort of undignified grunt and falling to the ground. That shit hurt like hell but I felt like I deserved that and more. So, I took it in stride until I saw him again. I jumped a little when I saw him at my door. He surprised me and my hand reflexively shot to cover my member. Haymitch just smiled and stood at the door to my quarters, his arms crossed over his chest.

He told me the rescue team should be back by tonight if everything went well. The words put a huge knot in my throat; I try to swallow but my throat just feels dry. Katniss should be back tonight. In a couple hours I could have my wife back. I start to feel hope building in my chest. Tonight I could be kissing her, touching her, hearing her voice again.

The swelling sensation in my chest feels like it's going to explode. Haymitch must have read the joy on my face because his next words make me deflate.

"That's if everything goes according to plan. They could arrive later." Haymitch tells me.

I nod and look at my feet, trying not to be too optimistic. I hear his feet shuffling away and realize that's all he came to say and he is leaving.

"Haymitch wait." I call to him and I see him stop and turn to face me. "I'm sorry…for what I did, how I reacted. It was uncalled for…"

"Just don't let it happen again. Cause next time you won't get off so easy," he says as he points his finger at me.

"Never happen again. I promise." I say quickly, meaning every word.

To be honest, it's a hard promise to keep but I will try my best. I don't even realize I have lost it until it is too late. It's like I have no control when I feel the rage building up. That's another reason I need Katniss. She helps me through my episodes and calms me. Without her I feel lost. It's been so long already since I last saw her, and I feel an ache in my chest at the thought, an intense sadness.

One of the reasons I wanted to go on the rescue mission was to let out some of my anger at the ones who took Katniss. Now I won't be able to do that. Unfortunately Haymitch got the brunt of that anger. I wanted to beat Phoenix's face to a pulp, not my ex-mentor. I wanted to make everyone who made her bleed suffer for what they did to her. It's funny. The Peeta Mellark of years ago would never have thought this way. But things change, the war, the Hunger Games, and getting tracker-jacked, they all changed me.

Haymitch leaves me to my thoughts with a mumbled goodbye, and a grumbling in my stomach makes me decide my next move. It's almost time for lunch, so I head to the dining hall. I may as well eat. I just hope I can keep it down, I'm so nervous about seeing Katniss.

HGHGHGHGHGGHGHGHGHGHGHGHG

"Where the hell are they?" I say softly to myself as I stand where all the hovercrafts are docked. "They should have been back by now."

I keep scanning the entrance to see if they will emerge at any moment. I have been sitting and standing waiting for them to arrive for hours now. When it turned dark I just told myself that was normal, missions get delayed, and they can't be perfect right down to the minute. When two hours had passed however, I began to pace and expletives flowed freely from my mouth, despite the looks I received. When three hours passed, I decided I had to go find someone. This was not good, obviously something went wrong. I felt a wrenching in my chest and forced myself to take deep breaths.

I took off in a sprint to Command, hopefully to find some answers.

HGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHG

"What do you mean you have no contact with them!" I yell at General Dakota.

"You better back the hell off boy! Especially if you want me to answer your questions."

"Peeta…" Haymitch says warningly as he puts a hand on my arm. I shrug it off but I sit down, trying to calm myself.

"So what you're telling me is you have no idea if they are alive or dead?" I say as evenly as I can. I clench and unclench my fists.

"We lost contact not too long after they landed. The Capitol or Phoenix must have some device to disable our communications. So, until they board the hovercraft and are in the air, they probably won't be able to contact us."

In the…in the air?!" I stutter in disbelief. "So they are still in there!? Send me in. Send me in with another team."

"NO." General Dakota says without missing a beat. It seems like he knew I was going to ask that. I suppose it would be obvious. We are talking about the life of the woman I love. Everyone knows I am willing to do whatever it takes.

"General…" I try to plead with him but he cuts me off.

"The answer is no Mr. Mellark. They will return or they will not. I did what you previously asked, and you still have something to do for me. Until then….you are dismissed."

"No…that can't be it."

"I SAID YOU ARE DISMISSED!" The General turns to the soldiers in the room with us. "Get him out of my sight."

The soldiers grab me under my arms and I struggle to get out of their grasp. They drag me out the door and into the hallway where they let me go. I give them the most annoyed, evil look I can and then I stalk away. I need to hit something, release this anger, before I explode. How could they just do nothing!

I enter the training area that Thirteen has set up and start climbing, punching and kicking bags until my arms are so sore, they feel like jelly. I collapse to the floor in exhaustion and press my palms to my eyes and release a scream from deep within my core that I had been holding in. It echoes off the walls, coming back at me, and it feels like I am not alone. Like someone else is feeling my pain and frustration.

HGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHG

I'm lying awake staring at the ceiling in my quarters. I can't sleep; my brain won't stop thinking about how Katniss could be dead, which is the worst case scenario. I don't really think she is. But I think something went wrong, and Katniss is in danger. I rub my tired eyes and close them, listening to the silence around me. Then I hear the thud of footsteps on the ground, running and it makes me sit upright in bed. My door slams open and Haymitch says what I have been waiting to hear since I can't remember how long. Too long.

"They're back," he says with a small smile. "and they got her."