Lullaby Help Me Sleep Tonight (Sleeping At Last)- AliceFray

Ok you know I gotta add stuff to my very small TW songfic collection. This is a oneshot inspired by Goodbye by Avril Lavigne, Sleeping At Last's Turning Page, and My Heart is Broken By Evanescence. Enjoy.

The anguish was too much; it was like a bomb had gone off in his chest, bursting his heart into a million pieces where they pierced each critical organ and left him bleeding on the inside. His only relief, the numbness, became his greatest hindrance. It sunk into his bones, weighing him down so he couldn't fight back against the waves of pain.

But the agony was nothing compared to the nightmares.

In his dreams he was walking through the halls of the hospital late at night, alone and it looked the same but also different. For one thing, it was empty and quiet which was strange, especially for a hospital. But onward he trudged, letting his curiosity get the best of him.

And every time he'd hear his voice and his legs would pick up speed on their own accord. Soon he'd be running because it seemed like the halls went on forever and he just wasn't fast enough. He'd see the figure standing just out of reach, seeming to be waiting for them to touch at last. His muscles burned and his breath laboured but he ran still. Despite his legs' protest he'd make it into Derek's arms where the shadows and emptiness couldn't reach him and he'd feel safe.

But something would be different; Derek's normally warm loving hold would feel stiff and cold. Then he'd move until Scott was just grasping air. When Scott looked up Derek would be leaving, never looking back as the pain began to seize Scott and drag him into the darkness where he'd be swallowed up forever in a void where love and time and life would be obsolete.

He'd wake up gasping for air with the crushing pain in his chest becoming unbearable. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep the rest of the night.

It was one of these nights that had him rushing to the phone with the only person in the world in mind who he could call who could understand him but never judge.

It took only thirty minutes before Stiles was knocking on his bedroom window, startling Scott out of his thoughts.

"I would've used my key but I figured it would wake your mom up." Stiles said as Scott let him in. He was wearing his signature grin until it fell as his eyes grazed Scott's face. He apparently had been crying and the dejected way his shoulders sunk was more than enough proof that he had had the nightmare again.

Stiles led Scott to the bed and watched as Scott allowed himself to fall apart in his arms. He cried trembling violently the whole time. Stiles knew he couldn't measure Scott's pain with anything in the world. Derek's leaving had permanently scarred him, and he hated watching as Scott fought helplessly with the pain. It gave him a new reason to hate Derek more than he already did.

This was supposed to be easy. The breaking of a bond with an Alpha was supposed to be like ripping off a band aid, not like a silver bullet in the heart. Watching Scott crumple before him was probably the worst thing in the world; it was even worse than watching him walk around school like a zombie which he was now more prone to doing or when he'd collapse in the locker room because he tried and failed to get drunk from the alcohol in his mom's liquor cabinet.

No, this was much much worse. It was almost like Scott was broken, irreparable, unable to return to the smiling, happy-go-lucky person he always was. As if Derek wanted to scar him permanently this time.

He had originally thought when that bastard decided to leave that it would be the best thing that ever happened to Scott. Now it seemed that this would be his demise.

But as a good friend he understood why Scott was so hurt even if he didn't want to. Scott loved the bastard and Stiles could see it. Hell, a blind man could see it. The way he always seemed to perk up when Derek was in the room or the way he'd do anything for Derek even if it meant getting himself killed. And now Derek was gone…

But Stiles was here, so they could go back to normal. It would be like that dog never existed or at least never walked into their lives.

Scott's heaving sobs were starting to weaken like he was trying to gain his bearings but as far as Stiles was concerned he could take his time; Scott was warm and smelled of good memories. His hair felt soft as it brushed against Stiles' chin and the way he clung to him as if Stiles was the only thing he had left in his world felt pretty good.

They never really touched during their friendship, hugging was about it and Stiles figured he'd have to live with that even if they were quick, five second guy hugs. And even then he never imagined it could be this good.

Scott's voice was a scratchy murmur against his shirt. "I-I'm sorry Stiles, I-I just feel so sick. You don't know what it's like; loving someone you can never be with…" his voice broke off as he was attacked by another barrage of tears.

Stiles frowned because he knew all too well how that felt. Rather than show it he just held Scott tighter.

They remained like that for awhile until Scott leaned out of his grasp to catch his breath. Stiles noticed that his big brown eyes although tear stained, showed a bit of relief or maybe gratitude that Stiles was actually there, that he actually came when he needed him most. It made his heart ache.

In return he gave Scott a feeble attempt at a smile.

"Can you stay tonight?" Scott sounded a little embarrassed at asking but as close to his old self as he ever sounded in months.

Inside Stiles' composure was breaking. Just being in Scott's room where he could touch him whenever he wanted was the sweetest thing and now it seemed as if Scott was determined to make him explode into happiness.

"O-okay." Stiles conceded.

It wasn't like he hadn't slept over before. They used to do it a lot before the world seemingly ended and Scott sunk into an endless depression.

But now Scott seemed a little better. Not healed, but better as if Stiles' presence actually made a damned difference. And to anybody else the two of them would seem so pathetic right now but Stiles really didn't care.

All that mattered was that Scott would finally get some sleep for once even if it was just for tonight.

Making an aborted attempt to move, Stiles got up in search of some sheets to make a makeshift bed on the floor. He didn't get far when Scott realized what he was doing.

"Y-you don't need to do that." Scott pointed out, blushing wildly for some reason Stiles couldn't fathom.

"Why?"

Scott's blush made him look like a cute tomato but his next words didn't make him look so innocent. "I-I want you to sleep up here w-with me." Stiles could feel his jaw drop and his blood heat from that statement and suddenly the room had gotten much hotter.

"I mean that's what Derek used to do and I kind of miss his body heat and since you're here I figured why not just give it a shot but you can tell me if you don't want to." Scott mumbled under his breath in a string of words said so fast Stiles nearly couldn't catch them all

But his words hit their mark. It was moments like these that Stiles wished he could deny Scott just to keep the little sanity he still had left. Inside his brain and his heart fought for that last thread of sanity because he knew that getting lost in the masterpiece of a human being that was Scott McCall would not end well. But he also knew that one simply didn't just deny their heart's desire. And sitting on that bed, with the moonlight bathing his tan skin and his unruly mop of hair in silver, with that clumsy smile and maroon brown eyes that always glowed in Stiles' deepest fantasies, Scott looked like everything Stiles ever wanted, how could he say no?

Giving up his last pitiful sliver of self-control he walked over to sit on the opposite side of the bed.

As heartbroken as he was Scott wasn't stupid; he was aware that it wasn't right to lead Stiles on like this because he could see by the glint in his eyes that Stiles was really feeling something deeper than friendship.

But the irony practically screamed at him that the only person he didn't want was the only person left and he could easily slip away like all the others. And what would he be without Stiles? He was already nothing without Derek but at least Stiles temporarily took away some of the pain.

He shuddered to think of what would happen if he were alone for real, and suddenly the dream replayed in his mind causing a fresh stream of tears to fall down his face.

"Hey" Stiles cooed, reaching out to wipe some of the tears away with the hem of his shirt. "You're going to be fine."

Scott knew he couldn't honestly believe that, after all it wasn't like his pain wasn't evident enough, his own mother threatened to call his school counsellor if he didn't get it together, but it made him feel better to know that Stiles cared to try anyway.

Stiles had his arm around him while Scott's head was cradled on his chest where he could smell Stiles' laundry detergent along with the faint smell of the woods.

It occurred to him then that although it was different it was still pleasant and he allowed himself to sink more into the touch.

Maybe it was the sleep deprivation that was making it easier to come to grips with the reality that he no longer was betraying anyone by letting himself enjoy the company of another man. He didn't even feel bad knowing he had no one else to betray.

He felt contented even as Stiles' fingers raked slowly through his hair and he could feel his eye lids getting heavy, he knew there was no harm in letting Stiles pretend that there was something more. In letting Stiles pretend he was the hero tonight.

Because deep down he knew that there was nothing in him worth saving and Stiles would see that soon enough. So he could let Stiles have this one if only for tonight…

A/N: I know Scott is a little wimpy in this but this is always how I seem to picture him when I think of Scerek. I like Sciles/Scerek, Sterek to me is cool I just imagine them being mortal enemies. This was inspired by Stepheie Meyer's New Moon.