Rumors and Myths of Amestris
9foxgrl
Inspired by Do a Barrel Roll's 444 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do in Amestris
1-The Fullmetal Alchemist has never had to acquire information on a mission by dressing up as a girl.
Roy nearly had an aneurism when he realized who the pretty petite blonde wearing the curve hugging red dress was. He was so shocked that he couldn't look Ed in the eye for months.
2-Nor has he had to go undercover as an elementary student
Hughes had done a double take when he saw the alchemist wearing a school uniform and coming out of Central's most elite private school. It was then he noticed the newly 'donated statute' at the entrance.
3-Nor has he starred in Survivor: Amestris due to a being denied a vacation
If it weren't for Al's insistence on watching the show; Mustang's team would have never known about the competition going on in the West or how Ed was knocked out in a milk chugging contest in the final four.
4-Fort Brigg's development team is not secretly working on creating a Gundam
When Roy's team captured the Drachman spy all he could babble on about was the North and a giant robot hidden in the fort. General Armstrong has denied all accusations.
5-Edward Elric has not discovered a way for fire alchemy to operate around water.
The simplicity of the theory and its potential destructive power was so great that Ed destroyed all of his research on the spot.
6-While in Xing; Al did not discover the wonders of ramen that would be passed down his family for generations
Centuries later Al's last living descendant finally managed to trace his lineage to the blonde fighter who spent years traveling the old country of Xing just to sample every kind of ramen imaginable.
7- Ed and Al have never snuck into a magic school to get ahold of a philosopher's stone
After disappearing for weeks to the far west Ed and Al returned disgruntled, with an owl, a giant poisonous snake fang, and an assortment of sweets that could make someone violently ill.
8-Ed is not a substitute soul reaper
No one was the wiser when Ed would sleep for hours at a day so he could leave his body and go slay Hollows.
9-Black Hayate was not the first ninja dog
Riza didn't know what to say when she witnessed her dog chase after a crook on the rooftops.
10- A live action Sailor Moon movie was never made in Amestris
Jaws dropped when the director had the guts to ask Riza Hawkeye, Olivier Mira Armstrong, Winry Rockbell, Sheska, Maria Ross and Izumi Curtis as the sailor scouts. Heart attack when they agreed. But all refused to play Sailor Moon so the role fell to Envy.
11- And if there was Roy was not Tuxedo Mask
Let's just say that the romantic scenes left a lot to be desired.
12- Fort Briggs does not have a karaoke night
On those rare nights the soldiers of Drachma would sneak up as close to the fort as they could so they can hear the angel singing her tragic song.
13- The reason for Ed's hatred of milk does not come from an old legend
It wasn't until Roy heard the Legend of the Were-cow and experience it first-hand did he stop harassing his subordinate about his height.
14- Ed did not use an old Xerxian artifact to wish his brother's soul into the armor
Ed decided to keep the fact that he was temporarily playing host to the spirit of a young Xerxian king a secret. After all they had a stone to find.
15- The seven sins are Homunculi, not shadow monsters
Instead of joining the military Ed and Al teamed up with a spiky haired kid and his friends to collect the seven millennium items and banish them using a card came.
16- Ed disappeared into WWII Germany; not Ancient Egypt.
With his intellectual mind and their common hatred of being called short made Ed and Pharaoh Atem best friends and his new ingenious traps made Bakura's live even more miserable than before. The two particularly enjoyed the catapult outside the palace door.
17- Nor did he disappear into the Pokémon world
When Ed finally returned he brought back with him several strange creatures with extraordinary powers.
18- Ed & Al are not Sherlock Homes and Dr. Watson
"It's elementary Colonel." Ed said as he stuck his pipe his mouth while Lust was trapped in the steel cage above. "Havoc cannot get a girlfriend to save his life. So it was obvious that it was a homunculus in disguise."
"I CAN SO GET A GIRLFREIND!"
19- There is no such thing as Amestrian Clue
"So it was the Colonel in the library with the torch?"
"Drat! And here I thought it was Hawkeye in the parlor with the shotgun."
"…What the Hell are you two talking about?"
20- Kain Furey is not really Harry Potter
Everyday before leaving for work Kain would slip his trusted Holly wand into the holster in his sleeve and let Hedwig back in.
21 – Major Armstrong didn't get his sparkles after killing a vampire
He wasn't sure why the sparkles stuck to him, but at least he could make them look manly.
A/N: Just some randomness that was bouncing around my head. If you would like more feel free to make suggestions.