Partners

Rifiuto: Non Mirena

Summary: He watched her walk out of the sheriff's office, tears beginning to gather in his blue eyes. He nodded, even though she was now driving through town in her little blue subaru, and unable to see him, intent on finding the part of herself she was missing; leaving Zane, her broken heart, Eureka and... him... behind. A more indepth look at Carter and Jo's goodbye in One Giant Leap.

"I hope you come back, soon."

He watched her walk out of the sheriff's office, duffel in hand. He took a deep breath, tears beginning to gather in his blue eyes as he watched the woman he considered his daughter, his little sister, his best friend, walk out of his life.

She'd watched him with tears in her eyes, struggling to keep them from overflowing, even as her lips tugged into a sad smile. He'd only seen that sad smile one other time in all the years they'd known each other- not long after coming to this new timeline, as they sat on his sofa, watching reality TV and chatting over beer. She'd been fiddling with the ring Zane had given her- her Zane- and had suddenly turned to him, slipping her finger through the small gold band as she whispered,

"I just get glimpses, of who he used to be. And then they're gone." She'd given him that same sad smile, and blinked away the tears, putting on the tough girl image to hide the pain she was in.

Slowly, he glanced over his shoulder, the desk where she'd been sitting waited for him. After a moment, he turned and slowly made his way towards it, seeing the note she'd been trying to write.

Carter,

Her dark, expressive eyes had looked up as he'd wandered into the office, trying not to startle her. To see her sitting at his desk- a desk representing a position she'd coveted since before they even met- had startled him. Startled him, yes, but hadn't caused his heart to stall its steady beating in his chest.

"Just gonna leave without... saying goodbye?"

"I don't do... goodbyes."

He'd held his breath as she'd climbed to her feet minutes later. He'd begged her to stay, to reconsider and figure out what she wanted here in Eureka, even though he knew it was all in vain. Her mind was made up, her bags packed, her job placed on sabattical; she was going, and nothing- no psychotic town, no space launch, and no one- no bad boy scientist, no button-pushing director, no motherly Medical Head, no sheriff, was going to keep her from leaving.

As a former U.S. Marshal, he'd learned to keep his emotions in check; keep a clear head during investigation, and once it's closed, then you can lose your cool. His training had worked wonders in this crazy little town, but when it came to facing the woman he had worked alongside for years- the woman he trusted, the woman he called his best friend, his partner, the woman he loved-

No, Allison is your partner, Jack. She's your best friend, she's the one you love, not Jo- He took a deep breath, drinking in her neat scrawl. But Jo was my partner long before Ali and I got together. Jo was by my side for every insane investigation, every murder, every small dispute; even after Zane came into the picture, Jo was by my side. Even when she and Zane were getting serious, began living together, kissing in public, fighting... no matter what they were going through, she was always- always- there for me in the morning, coffee in hand, feet up on her desk. No matter what bad things she and Zane were going through, Jo always made sure to be there because she was my partner.

His world was falling apart around him; the Astreaus crew was going to be gone for six months, Zoe was back at Harvard, and now Jo...

"You're part of the reason I'm going Carter."

That simple statement had caught him off guard. He had expected Zane to be a big part of the reason why she was leaving, maybe Fargo, hell, maybe even Allison and Henry but... him? They were good, or so he thought. They'd resolved whatever issues had hung between them after the rage incident when she'd pulled her gun on him and nearly lost control. After that incident, he'd backed off, letting her have her space, joining her on investigations when she called, meeting her for coffee in the mornings before work. They'd fallen back into that familiar, contented brother-sister relationship they'd lost briefly after the timeline shift.

She'd called him smug, self-centered. Said he'd been a really crappy boss. He'd thought he'd been a good boss, but maybe it'd been different through Jo's eyes. But they had to have gotten better since he first moved here. She'd been happy being his deputy, or so he'd thought.

Slowly, he took a seat at his desk, his gaze going to the pen she'd dropped before climbing to her feet. It still held a little of the heat from her small, slender fingers. The chair still smelled of her blackberry shampoo, and it wrapped around him like a cloak on a cold winter night.

"You found your place here and you made it a home, and now you're making this family-"

Tears gathered and glistened in his eyes, as the room began to blur around him. She'd waved her hands in that familiar Italian way she had, her voice choking with tears as she'd turned back to him. Minutes had passed, and she'd struggled to finish her statement, but he'd rushed in, cutting her off.

"And I consider you a part of my family." He'd watched her eyes well with fresh tears that she desperately tried to blink away. A part of me.

The tears had started drifting onto her cheeks, and Carter had to force himself to keep from reaching out and wiping them away, knowing that Jo didn't do displays of affection. And then she'd surprised him, throwing her arms around his neck and burying her face in his shoulder. She'd sniffled, holding tight to his neck; his arms had locked around her waist and he'd held onto her. Her small, slender hips had rested against his, and a moment passed, before he gently cradled her back.

He'd been reluctant to let her go, but she'd pulled away, and he'd seen the fat, fresh tears making their way down her cheeks. Slowly, with a shaky breath, she'd reached up, running her fingers over his hair, his jaw, his cheeks, as though memorizing him for when she left. Her dark eyes scanned his face, drinking everything in, every last detail, and she stored it, to remember while she was out in the world, away from the people who loved her.

"I need you."

He folded his hands and rested his elbows on the desk, sniffling. He'd never needed anyone; like Zane, he'd relied only on himself. Especially after Angela had been killed. With her death weighing on his shoulders, he'd buried himself in work, never getting close to people, because all they did was leave you. Like Abby, like Stark, like Grant.

Like Jo.

For him to admit that he needed her, wanted her to stay, was a revelation he'd been denying for years. The tough U.S. Marshal that needed no one, actually needed someone. Someone he loved, he cherished, he found completed a piece of his heart that he had no idea he'd been missing. Jo was the fifth female to wrap herself around him, make him fall in love with her- first Angela, then Abby, Zoe, Allison. She was the baby sister he razzed and annoyed, the daughter he protected and cherished, the best friend he could bitch to about the town, and the partner he never knew he needed. Allison has your heart, but Jo... Jo has your soul...

He took a deep breath.

"You can't... figure that out... from here?"

"I don't think so. Not yet."

He glanced down, seeing how she'd tried to fill out the 'r' at the end of his name, how her neat scrawl leaned just slightly to the right, how the tears she'd been trying to hide had dripped onto the page.

"These last few months have made me realize that everything I do is to prove myself to someone else." He shook his head, sending her words scattering from his brain, even though he knew it was true. She tried so hard to prove that she belonged in Eureka, to prove that she deserved the position she was given, that she was worthy of friendship, of family, of love... "My father, my brothers, my boyfriends and..."

He closed his eyes, resting his forehead on his hands. "You."

She'd given up trying to prove herself, casting the pain and heartache she'd experienced aside like a snake shedding its skin. She was ready to find herself.

"I need to figure out what I want."

Her voice had cracked, and she'd choked on a sob. He'd listened, telling himself to tell her that it was okay, that she was going to find the answers she was looking for and come home.

Come home to Eureka.

To Zane.

To him.

He'd buried his face in her silky black hair, breathing in her scent, and willing himself not to cry. But when she'd run her fingers through his hair, he'd choked on a sob, struggling to keep in control, though her gentle touch tore him apart. He'd held tight to her, a part of him refusing to release her. He couldn't let her go, wouldn't allow her to leave, even if he had to throw her in his cell. But she'd pulled away, taking his face in her slender fingers. With a look he'd only ever seen directed at Zane, she'd stared at him, lower lip trembling and eyes filling to the brims with tears. She'd looked at him with love in her eyes; love, and respect and trust- the three things that came hardest to Jo, and yet, there she'd stood, directing them at Carter.

And then, with the same tenderness she'd used long ago in the Army to pull the trigger on her weapon, she'd brushed her thumbs over his cheeks and leaned close. His eyes had closed on instinct as her lips brushed against his skin. They were soft, silky even. The kiss was firm, yet gentle- everything Jo was. She'd pressed her lips against his cheek for, what to Carter, seemed like hours, but was only a few minutes, seconds at most. His eyes had snapped open when she pulled away, and as she moved back, he'd grabbed her hand, linking their fingers.

Maybe, just maybe, if he held tight to her, if he held her and didn't let go, she wouldn't leave. She wouldn't leave Eureka, wouldn't leave him. Maybe, if he grabbed on and held tight- so tight it hurt- then she'd change her mind and decide to stay, give up this ridiculous idea of a walkabout and finding herself and stay here, with him, with Allison and the kids. Stay, so that when Zane got back, they could start building the life they were supposed to live- have the wedding they should have been planning in their timeline, create the babies Jo had long dreamed of having. Maybe, if he refused to let her go-

But she'd slowly pulled her hand from his tight grip, giving him a small smile as she turned and grabbed her duffel.

He took a shaky breath, raising his head from his hands and looking about the room. It was silent; Jo was gone. Yet her parting words echoed throughout the room, driving into his heart like a knife. Twisting, cutting off all major arteries, until it stopped and broke for the heartbreak.

Those words, he'd heard them before, and they always ended badly for the people who said them.

"I'll be seeing ya, Carter."

Stark had said something similar before he died; Grant had tossed them to him as he left Eureka, Tess had choked on them as she'd vanished from Eureka for Australia. And they'd flown softly from Jo's lips as she left for the unknown. The people that said them never returned.

"Go, discover the secrets of the universe."

He'd told Zane that in their timeline, and he'd whispered it to Jo as he'd held her, rubbing her back, breathing her in, silently begging her to stay, even as he was telling her to go. She'd left, silently whispering that she loved him, and with a sad, heartbreaking smile, had walked out of the office, and out of Carter's life for the foreseeable future.

With that sad smile, Jo had taken a part of Carter's soul with her.

Her parting words once again echoed in his head, and he watched the door, as fresh tears slid down his cheeks. She didn't come back; probably never would, despite her promises. And if that happened, he needed to be prepared to accept it. With a small, jerky nod, he sniffled, and as tears raced down his cheeks, whispered, "Okay."