It happens because Kurt is an idiot.

No, that's not true. Well it is, because Kurt had owned up to hot wiring the car. A car, that it turned out, did not belong to Brittany's mother, but actually her very well off neighbors. He should have known. There was no way anyone else in that neighborhood but the people in the expensive looking house could have owned the Jaguar.

But no, Kurt had gladly taken the offered excuse of lost keys to break in and hot-wire the beauty to go joy ride in Columbus. He should have been suspicious about it the second Santana made him stop to pick up Puck. But Kurt hadn't been, too happy to be driving a shiny red Jaguar.

Puck had brought beer, Kurt had been too responsible to drink and drive, so at least he hadn't had a DUI added to his sentence. But the others had been tipsy by the time they got to the mall. Brittany and Santana had held hands the entire time. Not their usual pinky cinch, but honest to god hand holding, and he'd never seen Santana smile so openly.

The atmosphere had felt oddly happy, almost loose, and Kurt hadn't even protested too much when Puck and Santana started shoplifting. Especially not when Santana had scored him a furiously fierce scarf. Puck had actually bought them all dinner without any kind of protest or demanding Kurt pay for himself.

It had been a good day. Even if it had felt suspiciously like a double date. Puck must have thought so too, because he and Santana started making out in the back seat. Brittany, riding shotgun and still drinking, had taken off her shirt.

That's probably why they get stopped by the cops. He says probably because Puck and Santana may have done more than making out in the backseat, but Kurt is happier not knowing. He'd been too busy belting Gaga songs with Britt to hear anything incriminating anyway.

But it doesn't matter because the cops pull them over.

Kurt panics hard enough that he has trouble letting the steering wheel out of his grip. That's when the cops start talking about stolen cars and Kurt's nice day goes to shit.

He blames winning a National Cheer leading competitions together.

Apparently this creates ties that bind. And open you up to discovering that maybe you don't particularly mind your teammates. So he doesn't dislike Santana as much as he probably should, and only someone with no heart could hate Brittany.

He also blames Mercedes, and her stupid Bible Camp. Maybe if she'd been available for company Kurt wouldn't have been so willing to hang out with a ditzy cheerleader and her possibly satanic best friend. But Tina was at her own stupid Asian Camp. Artie and him didn't actually hang out outside of Glee, and Finn was persona non Grata in his house at the moment. Besides, Brittany may not have been blessed with a high IQ, but she was very sweet. Brittany was always sweet.

So maybe it happens because he liked Brittany enough to come over and deal with 'her mom's car troubles'.

But mostly it happens because Kurt is an idiot. And because Britt's neighbors decide to press charges and the Jury that tries their case is clearly full of homophobic assholes. It had been his first offense. Aside from the wiring, the car had been immaculate. And he hadn't even been drunk, he'd taken the breathalyzer and everything.

Puck had a rap sheet, true, but the rest of them were clean. No one seemed to cotton on to the fact that the stuff they had in the car was stolen, so it makes no sense for them to get the same sentence. Three hundred hours of community service and a fine.

They'd been told to be glad it hadn't been Juvenile Hall.

His Dad had been so disappointed in him.

Lima community center is apparently already over capacity for the summer. So they get sent to the nearest one with a probation office in Westerville, it turns out they have to commute themselves. He picks Brittany up because she can't drive and Santana's house is closer for Puck anyway.

And that's how Kurt ended up putting on a hideous orange jumpsuit in the Columbus community center a whole hour away from Lima. The rest of his fellow criminal gleeks take whole becoming delinquents thing better than he does. It probably helps that they aren't nearly as mortified by the whole thing as Kurt is.

He's just glad his record becomes sealed once he turns eighteen. He can't imagine the embarrassment of disclosing he's a car thief, however misled, to someone who he hopes might become his boss.

Apparently getting arrested together had made them better buds than a day at the mall had to Puck, and he actually throws a friendly arm over his shoulder once Kurt finished getting dressed. They pass a short, curly haired guy on the way out of the locker rooms and not even the bruises on his face can detract from how attractive he is.

And Kurt kills that thought before it fully forms because no, just no. He's had enough inappropriate crushes in his lifetime, thank you very much. Some Columbus delinquent is not going to make it on to that list. Compulsory community service is probably the worst place to try and find a boyfriend, aside from maybe juvie, or real jail.

That thought firmly in mind, and a stern reminder that it's not like the guy was gay anyway, Kurt lets Puck lead him to the girls, and they wait outside of the locker rooms.

By the time their probation officer shows, there are six of them gathered. The curly haired boy and another, rough looking kid in a fitted cap aside from his fellow gleeks. They get led outside, and their probation officer starts on what's probably supposed to be an inspiring and heartening speech about contributing to the community and paying off their debts to society. Kurt's not sure, he's still too busy being traumatized by what he's wearing, and their probation officer made the mistake of wearing a striped shirt with plaid pants. Kurt cannot be held responsible for his inability to tear his eyes away from that train wreck. Or his urge to tear at least one article of clothing from his probation worker and burn it.

Eventually the speech comes to an end and they're left to paint benches.

It's silent at first, but then Britt starts humming 'Your Love is My Drug'. Kurt starts muttering along, and Santana starts singing outright, and soon their harmonizing, painting benches on the sidewalk. They can't help it, they all joined glee for a reason, after all, they love to sing. Another voice joins in and Kurt has a moment of grim acceptance that he's going to be attracted to the short guy with curly hair. He can't help it. Not when the guy can sing like that.

Kurt is very attracted to talent. He even finds Puck singing stupidly hot.

The kid in the cap is the only one not singing along, actually he's looking at most of them like they're crazy. So is their probation worker. None of the rest of them care, they barely notice when their fellow delinquent gets paint on his cap and heads off somewhere to clean it.

That's when the weather decides to throw a hissy fit.

So maybe it doesn't happen because Kurt gets a rap sheet the summer of sophomore year. It's not like anyone can control the weather.

But mostly it doesn't matter how it happens. Because Kurt gets a superpower. They all do. And then they kill their probation worker and bury two bodies. Kurt swears this wasn't his life not a full week ago. No, seriously, will someone please let him know? When did this become his life?