A/N: Hey everyone, I present you a a series of oneshots I write when I get bored writing my other story, The Line between Life and Death (check that out too, if you may). Whew, this was really fun to write actually, especially the next chapters with all the delusional shit. :)

Prologue: She Wakes Up

My whole body was shaking when I woke up. I was sweaty all over, my shirt felt like it's soaked. I was breathing heavily, panting. I took off my damp shirt and threw it on the floor. I hugged my knees.

It's that damn dream again. No...it's was nightmare.

It's been a while since I've been getting these nightmares. Every time I doze off, in the couch, in the car, things just keep crawling into my brain. Memories buried deep in my head. Both good and bad memories twisted into darker and more horrible ones.

It began shortly after I killed Killbane... or should I say, let Shaundi die.

What is this feeling? Guilt? Self-pity? I did what I thought was right at that time but... Shit. I'm an idiot. They all died because I'm a jaded lunatic with a big ego.

"Boss?" a Saint called out from outside, knocking the door as he spoke. "You okay in there?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I ran my fingers through my hair wet from sweat.

"You need anything? We heard your screaming from downstairs."

"Uh, yeah. Just having a bad dream, that's all."

I sat up on the bed and reached for the nightstand. I opened the drawer and took out a bottle of pills my shrink gave me. Says it will help with my nightmares and hallucinations or whatever they are. I took a handful of white tablets and swallowed it dry. I looked down the drawer and say an old picture under all the bottle of pills I take.

I held the rotting photograph in my hand. It was my only photo together with all the Saints, back when I was second-in-command. It was taken in front of the church, long ago, when Troy was just another Saints lieutenant; When Johnny was just a carefree trigger-happy; when Dex wasn't flying with Ultor; when Lin was still alive; when Julius still cared for the Saints; and when I was just a simple girl with big dreams for the Row. Everything has changed. I can't even recognize myself anymore.

I have two cities at the palm of my hands and the most faithful and dangerous gang behind me. I have money, I have power, I have influence. Everything I ever wished for when I joined the Saints and even when I was but an ambitious girl. But you know what? I still feel empty. Void.

I'm not like how I used to be when I first joined the Saints. I used to be so carefree, so happy... and now I'm just... There's something wrong with me. I feel... incomplete. Like a part of my heart had been chipped through the years. The part which makes me laugh or cry or fear or feel anything was gone.

Now, I'm just numb to everything.

A/N: Well, there goes... I will be writing an indefinite number of chapters after this. Each will be a dream of the Boss about... I don't know, past events and stuffs that I will twist and turn until it becomes a nightmare. *Evil laugh*

Ah, read and review.