~Hello fanfiction peps! Did you miss me? I hope you all enjoy this branch off of Almost Nearly Died! For those of you who have not read it….read it. Remember to spread this to every friend, brother-from-another- mother, great granny smith, dog, and frog you know! But remember: stranger danger! Oh and of course all dem vampire peps too! (except for you Cullens! Ahhaha not in this fan fiction! :D) If you guys have any question or requests feel free to leave them in your review or send me a private message. I love to hear from you! Special thanks to supporters and readers out there! I'd also like to thank the dude's who made an insanely awesome fan made video of Fiolee on youtube called Fiona's Fright! Another thanks to Pendleton Ward for not only creating Adventure Time and Bravest Warriors(one with Wankershim and Cutbug all the way!) but for just being plain awesome! Dude I would kill 99 evil souls and one witch for you!(if you get this reference I love you) Without further pointless opening commentary I introduce to you my newest fanfic! Here it is! Keep readin~

The first thing I was aware of was a sharp pain in my head and a ringing in my ears. It was like that odd feeling when you get off a spinning thing at a carnival ride and your trying to regain your balance. Wow that must've been one heck of a party last night for this kind of headache. I opened my eyes and let the blurred world become stationary. I realized it was dark. Too dark to see. I felt the grass underneath me, a cool crisp night air, and the sent of fresh air. I was outside. Worse. I was outside at night. Well that or I had finally one blind.

I stood up. Okay, I'm outside at night, I can't see, and I really have no idea where I am. I heard a rustling in what I figured were bushes. Better go straight to the source of the sound, right? Wrong. I've seen horror movies and I know how that turns out. When a brother goes to "investigate" he doesn't even sorta come back! I started to bolt the other way when I tripped over something. Being me, it was probably my own feet.

I looked up to see a pair of red demon eyes staring at me. Great job, feet! Your attached to me, why fail me now? Look what you've done. We could've gotten away! The overbearing figure was black and intimidating. A deep and heavy breathing erupted from its mouth. It was a freak, a stranger, a monster! Honestly, I had no idea what it was, but it looked like a giant bat of some sort. All I knew was whatever it was, it scared le crap outta me! It screeched and sent my ears in a panic of shrill pain and fear.

My first instinct was to get away. I lifted my fist and put all my power into it and landed it on the nose of the creature shrouded in the dark. I would've run if not for the familiar yelp that came after my hit.

"Not the face!" It yelled.

"M-Marshall?!" I asked.

The figure paused as it held it's nose and looked at me. With a very humans voice called to me. "Xero?" (A.N: For those of you who don't know it is pronounced zero like the number) He reverted back to his human form. It was the Vampire King, Marshall Lee Abadeer. "Z, what are you doing here?"

"You tell me! I just woke up out here in the dark. I have no idea where I am."

"I'm here so obviously it must be Aaa."

"You don't say? Really? I figured it was Wonderland! Or perhaps Narnia? For all I know this could be Neverland!"

"Wait…what?" He said suddenly very confused. Not like that was anything new.

"Nothing." I said still trying to make sense of the situation. Man this was like right out of a dream, not a sweet dream. It wasn't a nightmare, it was one of those weird dreams where nothing made sense and you woke up with a really bad headache. Suddenly it hit me. "I must be dreaming! That's it!" I said looking at the dream Marshall.

"Why does it have to be your dream? How do I know this isn't my dream? Wait you're here…so it must be a nightmare." Marshall said all too serious. Seriously, who did he think he was?!

"Excuse me? Why is it a nightmare if I'm here?"

"Your bad luck. You make fangirls attack me." He said.

"Riiiiighhht."

"I'm just that beautiful. You wouldn't understand."

You watch anime, right? Well one of those hundred pound cinderblocks with the world UGLY written on it magically dropped on my head and a red anger mark appeared. Because well, that is just how things work in my world. But it didn't matter what was reality and what was my delusional dream. I was mad. And you honestly can't tell me this burning passion in my chest wasn't real.

"I'm going to kill you, Marshall!" I screamed throwing a punch. Suddenly a slap sound caused silence in the night air. The only thing my fist hit was Marshall's fist now balled over my own. He'd caught my punch. He never…he never has done that…

"That doesn't work in my dreams, sweetie.. Here I'm the ruler. I'm the Vampire King! And you are just a little girl!" He hissed.

I have to admit, for a second there I was scared. No kidding, I was, I really was. Those deep crimson eyes were full of confidence and power and they were driving a stake right into my soul, right where I thought I felt safe. Suddenly I remembered. If it is my dream, I should be able to control what happens. I can never wake myself up so might as well try and be powerful while I can until my alarm goes off. Wait? Is it a school night?

"You don't scare me!" I heard myself yell as I was trying to regain my hand. I finally yanked it back. And tried to escape but we grabbed my wrist and pulled me closer. To me it all seemed like one really lame fanfiction. Maybe not totally lame, because, let's be honest, sometimes we get in the mood for trashy romance stories, ram I right?

It was like one of those fanfics were, if I were Fionna, I'd be dogging on Marshall while blushing intensely. He'd be total OOC and aggressively pulling me in. Forcing physical contact and being as sexy as possible. With his grip on my arm he'd say something smooth, I'd try to get away, he'd whisper something, I'd blush, which he'd comment about right after rejecting him which, of course, would only make me blush harder, and pause and then he'd pull me in and force a long and over detailed kiss.

I wasn't Fionna; I wasn't sure what he'd do to me. Instead of fighting him I weren't for a more simple approach. So I just relaxed. "Please let go of my hand." I said. He let go.

…..He let go. No questions asked. No lame pick up line, no leaning in, no fake romance, no meaningless words. He let me go. Just like that.

"Since you asked nicely." He told me seeming a bit triumphant.

My wrist still felt a sting from where he gripped me very hard, but I refused to rub it. It would show it hurt and that I was weak. "I'm not a little girl, ya know. I'm an adult."

"Your not eighteen…or a thousand years old." Marshall mocked. "So you are a little girl. In fact, your about the same age as Fionna, right? "

"Older. She's only like thirteen, right?"

"Fourteen!" Marshall defended.

"Cradle robber."
"Excuse me?"

"You're a thousand years old putting down moves on a fourteen year old!" I accused. "Besides you called me a little girl and then thought of her, you compared our ages and since I'm even older….you get what I'm saying?"

Marshall cocked his head and made a tch sound. "Whatever, little girl." He muttered.

"Pedo. Putting moves on a fourteen year old." I muttered back.

"Exxuseee me?!" He said in a sing-song voice. "That was your story and like other fangirls doin' that! She is my bro! I'm her bro! BRO not BAEU! Okay, bro? She's my bro, and you're my bro, so I'd be like putting down moves on my bro if I did any of that! Besides I'm technically a thousand. But also I'm like eighteen. It isn't that big of a deal, alright?"

"It isn't so much the age difference. You're a bad influence on her. You know?"

Marshall crept closer. Great he thinks he can seduce me now. Me? Of all people? Pft! Yeah right. He gazed at me with those crimson eyes. I like crimson only because I like the Alabama football team. Roll Tide! Also it is the color of blood(and no im not "goffic" thanks for asking. Pinky promise I wont have half my chapters explaining what outfit I'm wearing and which blade I'm using to cut myself). And hey, all vampire fans love that color, right? Still, I'm not a girl to easily be seduced, in fact, I'm the complete opposite. I don't really do love. I'm not into having relationships like that.

Honestly I'm a lot like Marshall. I know, cliché to say that. But it's kinda true. I can make jokes and like Fionna told him I can flirt and be funny but I'm never serious. It causes a lot of mixed feelings in the people I'm close to. I cant stop it. I'm manipulative. And I can't stop hating myself for it.

"I thought you liked me? Your bad little boy?" He said smoothly.

"Are you high or something? I figured you knew me better than that." I snorted.

"What like when it comes to jokes and pretend flirts and misguided mixed signals you're the queen? That you just parade on by life but when it comes to something serious you can't handle it, right?"

"That isn't true!" I defended.

"That's right, you can't handle relationships that take that serious turn. When guys ever ask you out your pretty cold hearted. Bluntly turning them down. You can be pretty cruel, Z, ya know?"

"How could you possibly-"

"I'm a vampire. I can see into your soul."

"One of your annoying pester skills?"

"One of my fabulous powers."

"If only mommy knew you used them to read "little girls minds" and tried seducing little fourteen year old human girls. All you want is mother's approval but instead you always seem to get rejection. That seems to be the case with all those you love. Then you go hope and mope about it. Then in order to cheer yourself up and make yourself less bored you cause other pain, you make them feel unsafe, you make them scared of you on purpose to get a laugh. Inside it hurts, doesn't it? You're chasing everyone away because you don't think they understand you and why bother, right? You dis Gumball, scare people, and go stalk Fionna, worse you flirt with her, and try to make her heart fill with confusion and torment. Making her have such mixed feelings for you. If you ask me that's very cruel. How long do plan to drag her heart around?"
Marshall got silent. "Guess we're both pretty cruel, eh?"

I sighed. "I guess you're right. Neither of us can fall in love. Our heart's just weren't made for it."

Marshall looked up at the moon. The look in his eyes was one I'd never forget, even if it was just a dream. It was so real. I know dreams are just replays of things we've already seen, things out subconscious knows. People we've seen passing by, our deepest fears, our inner most desires. Everything we already know. Everything we've already seen. But I could swear I've never seen a look like that before. A look like that…I'd remember.

I looked down. I suddenly gasped. "My laptop! So that's what I tripped on!" I immediately sat down and opened it. But there was only a blank screen. Pure white. But the little black line that blinks was going off. It was the ready to type scenario.

"What is that?"

"My laptop." I told him.

"What's that?"
"Uhhhh this thing."

"What's it do?"

"I write stories on here for one. I can surf the internet, listen to music, watch stuff."

"Cool beans!" He said. "Lemme see it!"

"NOOOOO! THIS IS MY SOUL!" I screamed, keeping my precious laptop from his evil clutches.

"Oh, come on, Z. Please?"

"No! Besides. I think it may be broken. I'll have to take it to the store and see if they can fix it."

"Oh….." He looked down at his feet then back at my laptop. Very intrigued. "So you write the stories with me on there?"

"Yeah." I said still trying to fix my laptop. Boy if I made a horcroux this would definitely be one! So it better not be broken! Even if it was a dream it was all too real. The pain, the weirdness, it felt a little like this was soon going to be headed in an Alice and Wonderland direction.

"I see. That how we've communicated. It's a wormhole in reality." He said.

"A what?"

"Xero, this is very dangerous. I think….we need to get you home right away."

"Great idea, Sherlock. How do you purpose we do that? I'm not even sure how I got here in the first place!"

"Who is Sherlock? Nevermind. Look it's hard to explain but in the end we just need to get you back to your home before something really bad happens."

"Bad how?"

"End of reality bad."

"That's pretty bad."

"We need to see Blowpop. He's a nerd, maybe he'll know what to do. In the meantime we'll just have to stay low, okay? I'm not sure how the people will react to you. After all your basically an..."

"Alien? Outsider? Human?"

"You're human?"

"Duh. What did you think I was?"

Marshall blushed for a second. "Nothing."

"Tell me!" I demanded.

"You're not the boss of me!" He stuck his finger out in my face so I did what came natural. I pissed him off. Yep, I bit him. He jerked his finger back and yelped. "Ow!" He said, obviously because it hurt. Ever been bitten before? I have, so trust me, it hurts!

"I am now!" I exclaimed proudly. "You are now my drudge(Vladimir Todd…different vampire…IM READING THE SERIES AGAIN, OKAY? IM PROUD OF IT! :D)"

"Drudge?"

"If I wasn't human, what was I to you? How'd you not know?"

"Well it kinda makes sense. You looked human. It's just…complicated. We'll I'm glad your human. I get to bully you!"

I shot him a serious look and he held his arms up in surrender.

"Kidding! I am not gonna do that! ….very much. Anyway! A human? Wow! So your like the last human, right?"

"Uh, wrong. Humans are kinda a popular thing where I'm from. My reality is way different than yours."

"for serious?" He asked, intriqued.

"Yeah and were I'm from vampires are myths and they sometimes sparkle if you're a Cullen."

Marshall gasped. "What sick world do you live in?!"

"Uhhh Earth. America. Yeeeah it can be pretty messed up."

"Hmmm…..Weird."

"Maybe for you. If I'm human maybe I should go meet with Fionna! She'll be psyched to meet another human, right?"

"I dunno. We need to get you home…"

"I don't wanna wake up yet. This dream seems cool so I wanna make the most of it! Let's go to the Treehouse!"

"Slow down, sister. We need to go to the Candy Kingdom."

"You just wanna see Bubba, don't you?" I smirked.

"What?"

"Is it that kinda fanfiction? Hmmm? You just can't wait too see tall, pink, and nerdy, right?"

"What are you talking about?" Marshall said utterly confused.

My laptop screen went black. I retyped my password and it came back to life. It wasn't fixed, the screen was still blank. "So you think Bubs can fix it?"

"I'm not even sure he'll know what it is. This is stuff from your reality, not on mine."

"Uh. This dream is confusing. Is the goal to fix my laptop?"

Marshall shrugged me off. "On that note what's wrong with it?"

"It's only showing up with this blank screen."

"What's that blinking line right there?"

"It's a line that shows me where my letters end up when I type."

"Type?"

I pointed to my keyboard. "Pressing these keys to make letters appear on my computer. Basics."

"Really basic. It looks pretty primitive."

I suddenly remembered. "Oh, that's right! You guys actually have some advanced stuff in Aaa, right?"

"I guess. More advanced than this thing. What do you mean by reality anyway?"

"The Land of Aaa, The Land of Ooo, and Earth are all different realities, right?"

"What is Ooo?"

"Same as here but everyone is gender swapped."

"Meaning?"

I smirked. "In Ooo, Marshall, your name is Marceline….you're a girl."

His jaw dropped. "What sick minded horrible crud nugget would do that to me?!"

I burst out laughing. "She came first. YOU'RE THE GENDER BENDER OF HER!"

I thought Marshall was going to burst as well. He seemed to have the case of information-I-never-wanted-to-know overload. He shook his head.

"This is bad. Stop telling me stuff! Okay? I don't know how this will affect the reality of space and time continuum. If you keep telling me advanced and other-reality language it can damage the wormhole making a tear in the dimensions. Causing who knows what to run rampant throughout space, time, and realities all over!"

"English, please."

Marshall passed and started speaking real slow. "If we keep talking about our worlds me might create a wormhole or like a pocket in the world of reality and time making complete chaos reign over both our worlds and all others! We need to deal with this delicately. Okay?" He passed. "All worlds go boom boom, go bye bye. THE END!"

I sighed. "Whatever. This dream is getting lame."

Marshall snorted. "Dream. You stupid crud muffin."

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing, you stunning stud muffin." Marshall quipped.

I snorted in response. Jeez, even in my dreams Marshall was a jerk to me. I could fix that, right? Maybe even write my own version to this story! I whipped out my laptop and began writing.

Suddenly Marshall got to his knees and pleaded. "I'm sorry I am such a jerk. I'll be helpful, useful, and kind form now on. I'll be your slave! All I ask is a selfish request, be by my side?"

I snickered as bewilderment crossed his face. He yanked my laptop from my grasp when I was too busy laughing to notice. "Hey!" I screamed, trying got get it back.

"You…..you wrote that….and it…happened!"

"It is my dream after all. I do what I want!' I replied. Marshall looked a bit worried soon replaced by curiosity. I really hate his curiosity face.

He looked at me with a surprisingly serious face. "Let's go see, Bubs."

Unknown Lair….

Ashley ran to her master she bowed and looked up. "Master? You requested me?"

"I need you to go to Marshall Lee. He has something I require." The deep and raspy voice said said in the dark. Sitting up on his throne, stroking his beard. Or at least, that is what Ashley visioned he was doing. All she saw was darkness and the long hallway that stretched behind her, leading to the rest of the castle her master had settled in.

"What is it?" She asked.

A magical cloud appeared before her and showed a moving picture. Much like a movie with muffled words. In this vision there was Marshall floating above the ground with Fiona. Wait was that Fiona? She other got a serious makeover or this was somebody new….not Fiona…he looked…human!

"The vampire seems to have come across a tremendous source of power."

Ashley looked back at the mysterious person walking next to him. He was a little shorter than Marshall with short, wavy raven black hair. He was pale and skinny. He resembled Marshall in a way, but with one major difference in facial feature. He and had crystal blue eyes. They were kind eyes, stunning eyes, desirable to her. Much better than those dark, heartless crimson. Something new, something fresh, something possibly really fun! He was handsome in his skinny jeans and baggy sweatshirt. His figure was very slim and his face was pretty. Almost like a girl. Ashley felt her heart race for a moment thinking of this new character then quickly pushed away those thoughts.

"The kid?"

"No, don't be a fool. The childis merely intriguing by the fact it is human, filthy creature, but that also makes it weak and quite undesirable. I want the device this thing, this human, has. That 'lap topper'. Bring it to me."

"What about the kid?"

"If it gets in your way, kill it. It is only human. Do whatever you want as long as you retrieve that idem."

Ashley couldn't help but feel a ping of disgust calling the mystery man an it. "And Marshall Lee?"

"Patience. His time will come. For now all I want is that thing. The top of the lap!"

Ashley put her fist over her heart. "I shall not fail you!" She pledged.

"Good. See to it that you don't. After all I hate disappointment." His voice seems to have an edge, almost like he was smiling through words. Not a kind smile, but a malevolent smirk. "Disappointment is so…undesirable."

Ashley gulped and hurried out on her new mission. Her hate for Marshall began rising. "I shall not fail," She readapted. "I shall not fail!"

Somewhere in Aaa…

"Honestly, we should go inside. It's almost morning and i'm sure Fiona and Cake will be cooking up breakfast here in a minute." I told Marshall.

"You're right. But we're being sneaky. I wanna scare Fiona when she wakes up!" Marshall chucked.

I rolled my eyes. We had been on our way to the Candy Kingdom until Marshall had gotten sidetracked. But it favored my interests in meeting the girls so I decided to let his devil-charm get the best of him. "Do what you want i'm going inside."

"I'd be careful if I were you." Marshal smiled.

"Why? It's just Fiona and Cake. Well, and BMO. But not like the girls are dangerous."

"Not dangerous? Um hello Fiona is the chick who made the Ice Queen cry hot tears, the holy terror of the giants, and one time she fought a bear!"

"Yeah but it isn't like i'm her enemy or anything. Besides Marshall she didn't just fight a bear, once she was eaten by one!"

"Seriously?! How do you know this?"

"I'm just a total genius with magical powers." I shrugged. "No biggie."

"Yeah whatever. You know I don't exactly know how this works. Fionna and Cake probably wont know you and breaking into their place might make them get a little on edge."

"I don't look that threatening."

"A dude breaking into three women's home?"

"IM A CHICK!" I screamed. "I HAVE BOOBIES!"

"Sure thing, A-cup!"

"I will end you!"

"Think about it, Xero. I call you Z. Kinda sounds guy-ish."

"Short for Xero. Woman's name too. Xero is unisex like Alex, Taylor, Shannon, Sam, Danny/ Dani-"

"Noted. Let's just hold off on making a smashing entrance. Let me do all the talking."

"Better make it quick, hot shot. Else you'll be barbeque."

"You're right. Let's make this quick before I catch fire."

"Like Flame Prince! No! I gotta better one!" Marshall hesitated while I finished yet another obscure reference. "Edward Cullen!"