Lestrade had finally returned to the office, dreading the paperwork he knew he had to fill out. He'd had a fun time at Sherlock's wedding reception; the food had been tasty and plentiful; John was a delight; and Sherlock was agreeable. He knew his team would have questions about his disappearance, he knew what their reaction would be when he told them of Sherlock's "emergency"; for now he just wanted to bask in the afterglow of the happy event.

He'd barely made a start on his pile of paperwork when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in."

Sally poked her head round the door, eyeing Lestrade suspiciously before moving into the office, Anderson close behind her.

"Sir, nice to see you back at work."

Lestrade rolled his eyes, returning to his paperwork. "You want to know where we went."

"Obviously."

"You wouldn't believe me."

"Try us," Anderson grinned. Lestrade sighed.

"A wedding... Sherlock's wedding."

Sally snorted. "The freak? Married? I don't think so!"

"Told you you wouldn't believe me."

"Who would be insane enough to marry him?!"

Lestrade frowned. "John's a good bloke!"

Anderson laughed, folding his arms over his chest. "I always knew the freak was a queer."

"Anderson!"

"What?!"

"One more homophobic thought and I'm suspending you!"

Anderson scowled, looking down at his feet. Sally was still trying to comprehend the news.

"He can't be!"

"I have the pictures to prove it," Lestrade shrugged, pulling his phone from his jacket pocket. Sally rushed around the desk, leaning over the DI's shoulder as he shuffled through the pictures. Lestrade had snapped pictures of Sherlock and John exchanging vows; the couple sharing a kiss; Sherlock grinning at John as he was hugged by his best man; Sherlock scowling at Mycroft as he made a speech, John laughing by his side; and the couple sharing their first dance - which only occured after John threatened to throw out all of his experiments.

Sally let out a quiet sound of awe. "He looks human."

"He is human."

"This John fellow in the army?"

"Used to be, he's retired now."

"You're sure this is real? It's not a tax scam or something?"

"Sherlock's brother is the British government, I doubt he needs to fake a marriage to fiddle his numbers. And look at their faces! Does that look like a couple who aren't in love?"

Sally sighed. "How?! How does this happen?!"

Lestrade shrugged, slipping his phone back into his pocket. "From what I understand, John was home for a month between deployments and went to Barts to see an old friend; he met Sherlock and thought he was brilliant, which was a nice change from being called a freak all the time."

Sally had the decency to look ashamed when Lestrade looked at her.

"John asked him to dinner, Sherlock accepted. They solved a case together, John shot a man for him, they've been smitten ever since.

"John was redeployed, they kept in contact, he returned for a week two months ago - which explains why Sherlock refused to consult on the Pritchard case - Sherlock proposed, John said yes. Mycroft planned the wedding, John ended his service yesterday, and now they're happily wed."

Sally nodded. "How long have they been together?"

"A little over a year."

"That's a bit... fast, isn't it?"

"When you know, you know."

"I can't believe he found someone! I always thought he'd die alone!"

"I think everyone did."

"That's depressed me, I was always comfortable being single because I knew that at least I wasn't as unloveable as him... And now he's married! To a bloke who shot a guy for him?!"

Lestrade frowned. "Can't you just be happy for him?!"

Sally shrugged, marching out of the office, Anderson hot on her tail.

The rest of the Yarders finally got a chance to meet John. Fresh off their honeymoon, Sherlock and John appeared at a murder scene. Sherlock barrelled straight past everyone, marching over to the body. John was stopped by an officer. Sally heard the argument between John and the officer and went to intervene.

"What is it, Bishop?"

"This bloke said he's with the freak!" The officer moved aside, Sally recognised John.

"Oh, it's you."

John narrowed his eyes. "Excuse me?"

"John, right? You actually married the freak?"

"I'm assuming the freak is Sherlock?"

"I tried to convince myself it didn't happen, there's no way anyone would marry the freak. But here you are. You do know you've married a psycho, right?"

John glared, Sally began to feel uneasy. "Wow. When he mentioned you I thought he was just being Sherlock. But you really are exceptionally stupid. He didn't mention what a nasty piece of work you are, though. Many people don't like Sherlock, he rubs a lot of people the wrong way, but you... you repel me.

"I'm warning you only once, Sergeant, do not insult my husband in front of me. You won't like what I'll do."

Sally had received a lot of threats in her life, but she'd never felt as fearful for her life as she did in that moment. Sherlock suddenly appeared at John's side

"Why are you wasting time with these idiots, John? There's a body to examine!"

John suddenly went from wrathful glares to puppy-dog smiles as Sherlock's fingers circled his wrist. "Just... introducing myself. Lead the way, love."

Sherlock grinned and dashed off, tugging John behind him. Taking a deep breath, Sally made her way over to Lestrade.

"I've just met the significant other."

Lestrade smiled. "Yeah? Nice guy!"

"He threatened to kill me if I insulted Sherlock in front of him."

"Oh," Lestrade shrugged. "You'd better not insult him then."

Sally gaped. "That's it?! You're not going to confront him? Arrest him for threatening an officer?"

"Of course not," a voice from behind said. Sally let out a yelp and spun around to see who the voice belonged to. "John didn't threaten an officer, he threatened a bully who happens to be an officer. Rest assured, Sergeant Donovan, if I catch word of you or that imbecile Anderson making life difficult for Sherlock or John, it's not John you'll have to worry about."

Sally felt her skin prickle, her hairs standing on end. The man in front of her had an even icier glare than John; she didn't doubt he'd wipe her entire existence from the face of the planet. The glare was suddenly replaced with warm fondness as he trained his eyes on Lestrade.

"Gregory."

Lestrade smirked. "Mycroft. Are you just here to instill the fear of God in my staff or is there something I can help you with?"

"I'm just here to see how the happy couple are settling into their new routine. Sherlock does blossom under John's attention, I daresay you'll have your culprit by the end of the night."

"Brilliant. How was the honeymoon? Denmark, right?"

"Yes. There was a number of conferences in Copenhagen that Sherlock wished to attend. Flesh eating parasites, and such."

Lestrade chuckled. "John had no chance of a normal honeymoon, did he?"

"If Sherlock's happy, John's happy."

"A happy Sherlock is a frisky Sherlock?"

Mycroft grimaced. "I don't wish to know... You'll have to ask them, thought I'd suggest you don't, I doubt Sherlock understands the social concept of prudence."

Lestrade laughed. "Gotcha."

"Have a pleasant evening, Inspector."

"You too, Mycroft."