Hello, again! All I can say is that the season finale of The Following was crazy! I got inspired to write an AU Ryan and Mike comfort fic. I hope you enjoy.

I stand in front of the lighthouse, staring straight ahead. Joe Carroll may be dead, but who knows how many of his followers are still alive. None one is safe just yet.

Joe's cult isn't the only thing on my mind. The thought of Debra Parker's death is much worse. Her last words to me were, "Mike, you're a good man. Don't lose that."

Tears came to my eyes. I don't feel like a good man. I know I didn't do anything wrong, but part of me feels that I could have done something to protect Debra at the community center in Havenport. She shouldn't have been alone.

"You ok?" I hear a voice asking me.

I turn my head and see Ryan Hardy standing next to me.

"No," I reply, quickly turning my head so he can't see the tears in my eyes.

"Hey," he gently says. "I know this isn't easy, but…"

The tears roll down my cheeks before Ryan can finish his sentence. I try to choke back the sobs, but I can't control myself. I feel Ryan's hand on my shoulder.

"We're going to get through this," he says.

I open my mouth, but I'm too shaken to speak. I just nod my head at Ryan.

"Come here," Ryan says.

He pulls me into an embrace. I sob into his shoulder.

"I'm here for you, Mike," he says. "I want you to calm down. You'll hurt yourself sobbing like this."

Ryan is right. Each sob is painful. My side is killing me. Despite the pain, I press myself against Ryan, gripping him hard.

He holds me. I feel his chest rise and fall. For some reason, that is comforting. I breathe with him. After a few moments, Ryan steps back and holds me by the shoulders.

"Are you feeling better?" Ryan asks.

"Yes," I reply.

"I'm going to head out. You have my number if you need me."

"Alright. Thanks, Ryan."

I watch Ryan walk away. I don't know how he manages to hold himself together. He has more reasons to break down than I do, yet somehow he remains strong.

I stand in front of the lighthouse for a little while longer. I watch as my fellow agents try to collect as much evidence as possible. I want to help, but I feel that my judgment would be impaired due to my current state.

"You should go home," one of the agents tells me. "You've been through enough today."

I offer my assistance anyway since the agent looks overwhelmed.

"Are you sure you don't need me?"

"No, we have it under control," he replies. "Go get some rest."

"Thanks," I tell the agent. "I'll see you tomorrow.

I walk to my car, get in, and drive home. I ride in complete silence. I don't even turn on the radio. When I get home, I take off my jacket and drop it on the floor.

I walk into my bedroom without checking my telephone for messages. I don't even bother to take my clothes off before slumping onto my bed. As soon as my head hits the pillow, tears pour from my eyes again. Parker hasn't even been dead for twenty-four hours and I already miss her. I admired her so much. She was like a mother to me. Now I will never see her smile or hear her voice again. I cry until everything goes black.

I wake up crying at 3:00 am. The sweat is pouring off of me. I dreamed about Parker. I could see her face, hear her voice, and then she was being thrown into a coffin. I stood there watching her be buried alive. When I went to help, a shot was fired at me. That's when I woke up.

I take a deep breath after I realize it was only a dream. Even when I sleep I see the vision of Parker suffering an awful death. Her last words to me resound in my head. I bury my face in my hands and cry.

After a few minutes of crying, I reach for my cell phone on my nightstand. I dial Ryan's number. I hate to call him this early in the morning, but I need to talk to someone.

"Hello?" he answers.

"I'm sorry to call at this hour, but I need someone to talk to."

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"I keep thinking of Parker's last words to me."

I take a deep breath.

"I'm not a good man," I tell Ryan, trying to choke back a sob.

"That's not true, Mike," he says.

There is a pause on Ryan's end. I open my mouth to speak, but Ryan breaks the silence.

"I'm coming over. Just hang tight until I get there, ok?"

"Ok," I manage to say.

I hang up the phone and get out of bed. I figure that I better freshen up before Ryan arrives. I have at least a half hour before he gets here.

I step in to the shower. I look down and see the water mix with the dirt on my feet. The brown water runs down the drain. Even in the shower I am thinking about Parker.

After I finish my shower, I step out and put on a black t-shirt and jeans. I sit on my couch until I hear a car pull into my driveway. Ryan knocks on my door a few minutes later. I get up and answer it.

"Thanks for coming over," I say, letting Ryan in.

"You sounded like a wreck on the phone, so I figured I would come over," he replies. "I also need some company."

Ryan and I sit down on my couch.

"Parker was right in what she said about you," Ryan says.

"Let's face it, Ryan. I'm not a good man."

My eyes start to burn again. I thought I was done crying, but I guess not.

"What makes you think that?"

"I've lied, beat the crap out of people, and I've even killed."

"You did all of those things for a reason. You're a federal agent. It's part of the job."

"Ever since the stabbing, I've never been the same. I'm on edge all of the time."

"Trauma like that puts people over the edge. Look at me, I get edgy, too."

"I just feel like such a let-down. Parker needed me, and I failed her."

I break down after saying those words. I feel Ryan's arms around me again.

"You didn't fail her," he says. "I'm deeply saddened by her death, too, but things like this happen with this type of job."

Ryan rests his chin on the top of my head. I continue to sob in his arms. I feel Ryan shaking a little. I can tell that he is about to cry.

"It's ok to cry," I choke out.

Ryan must have understood what I said because he is now shaking even harder. I squeeze him hard. Both of us sit together, crying. We have each other. We will work together. We will make Parker proud.

As always, thanks for reading!