Harry, in fact, did not get expelled. He became a seeker on Gryffindor's quidditch team, much to Hermione's relief.

Harry seemed rather pleased at this. It turned out that the reason it was so rare for first years to join the quidditch teams was because they had so little experience flying. Harry's training as a pilot, even if it was in the muggle world, had worked to his advantage (to an apparently extreme point, it seemed like knowing how flight worked made the brooms charms work better, and Harry knew a LOT about flight). His skill on a broom was almost ridiculous.

The evening of Harry's (only) flying class, Malfoy tried to challenge Harry to a duel. Harry just yawned in his face and replied "No thanks, I don't feel like killing you or anyone else." Malfoy could have been knocked over with a feather. (His face kept Hermione giggling for weeks.)

ELSEWHERE:

"Vernon! Oh, honey! They found him! They found him!" Vernon Dursley, a man with the physique of an only slightly gone to seed rugby player, dropped his briefcase and hugged his wife, who was sobbing in relief.

"Did they?"

"They found him with the letter, it went out right when it should, and came back the same day, with a request for a representative."

"Is he?"

"Healthy, apparently happy, and absolutely average for his age. His hair has been permanently lightened, though- it's brown now, and he wears it long as a memorial, apparently."

Vernon rubbed the back of his rather giraffe-ish wife.

"Well, at least there's a bit of an upside to this, pet. We may have never had that girl you wanted, but at least you'll get to play with long hair."

"Vernon!" Petunia slapped his chest, and he laughed. Everything was going to be ok.

Exactly one week after the flying class was Hermione's birthday. Harry taught her his favorite hair care spells as her present. Hermione had to admit, they kept her hair out of her way better than a mass of clips and hair ties normally did.

Life went on for a while. Harry kept busy with classes, Quidditch training, and Sunday services for those who wanted them. Harry managed to stay neck-and-neck with Hermione for grades, to everyone's confusion. None ever saw him read a book more than once, and several people were convinced he was cheating in some way or another. Rumors started to spread. It didn't help that Harry kept exploding his potions- they just said that Snape was preventing his cheating. ("Oh, come on! It is NOT my fault that he keeps assigning potions that have stages with highly explosive compounds in them!" Harry complained to Hermione.)

On Halloween, however, Ron was the one to cause an explosion of sorts. Hermione tried to help him during Charms class, and his rude words upset her to the point where she spent the rest of the day in one of the girl's bathrooms. She even missed the feast. In the middle of the feast, Professor Quirrel came screaming in about a troll in the dungeons. Harry glared at the man, but then his eyes widened.

"Ron, Hermione doesn't know about the troll! We have to go warn her!" They split off from the Gryffindors, joined the Hufflepuffs until they reached the right intersection and peeled off heading to the bathroom Hermione was in. Turning the corner to the right hallway they stopped for a moment. The troll was there. Trying to get into a room.

"Sweet! We can lock it in there!"

"No, Ron, that's where Hermione is! Come on, we need to get its attention!" Harry shot forward, one hand at the back of his pants. "Hey, bastard! Over here!"

The troll had almost figured out how to open the door by the time they had gotten its attention. It roared and swung its club, incidentally hitting the door, causing Hermione to scream. The troll turned back to the door.

Fortunately, Harry's reaction time was faster than the troll's. There were ten very loud bangs, a strange click, then silence. Harry flicked the release catch for the magazine of the gun, pulling out and slamming in a new one in the same motion he used to catch the falling clip.

"Bloody hell, Harry, where'd you get that thing?"

The troll slowly fell over. Harry crept forward, keeping the gun aimed at the troll until he was finally sure it was dead.

"Hmm…" Harry slipped the gun back into his spine holster. "Ohio.-" There was a loud clattering as the teachers finally arrived. They stopped and stared.

"-If I'm remembering correctly. Hi, he-" Harry pointed at Ron, "was an idiot, Hermione is in there-" he now pointed at the door to the bathroom, "and has been since just after our charms class, because of him," pointing again at Ron, "Thus she didn't know about the troll, so we came to get her because someone" Harry actually glared at the headmaster " sent everybody into danger instead of keeping them in the actually very heavily fortified main hall, which prevented us from informing someone about her whereabouts.

So, we came to inform her of the danger, and get her to the nearest house common room, when we found the troll attempting to access her location. We distracted it, I shot it, and am reasonably sure it's dead. I shall be collecting the bounty, and issuing a complaint against Qurrel. The man is supposedly good with trolls, and runs away from one inside the school?"

At that time, several moments after the sound of gunfire had faded away, Hermione causiously poked her head out of the bathroom.

"He- hello? Eeeeep!" She stared at the dead troll laying inches from the door.

"Miss Granger!"

"Told you. Now can we deal with the problems here?"

Eventually, everyone settled into chairs in the faculty meeting room. Ron had used this time to think a bit. Someone had once told him to think of things happening in his life like chess ( which was one of the few things he was really good at without work ) and decided to give it a try now.

Harry... was a queen. The strongest piece on the board, you only got one, and if you lost it, while possible, it could be really hard to get back.

Hermione was either a rook or a bishop. The could only go in one direction until they stopped. Then, they could change direction. Sorta. Move wise, she could be a queen, as the queen had both move sets, and she could decide to go in any direction… Actually make her an Elf Queen. If she could get her head on right (and thus promoted), Hermione could become a queen like Harry.

Ron thought about his own behavior, and grimaced. He was most likely a pawn. Only one direction, and only a square at a time. Yep, that was him in a nutshell. He had been such a berk to everyone not Harry, and even then he hadn't been a good friend.

Ron decided to owl Bill and Charlie for advice, for both changing his own behaviour, and how to get Hermione to stop going the direction she was and think about what was happening around her. ( She was really too Ravenclaw for Gryffindor, they only needed a couple of warnings for length of papers, and she had five. For each class. The girl really was mental! Then again... ignoring those warnings was pretty Gryffindorish...)

"YOU HAVE A GUN!" Shook Ron from his thoughts.

"Several, actually." Harry said, a hand covering the ear that had been shouted into. Hermione inhaled to shout again when Dumbledore spoke up.

"Let me interrupt you there, Miss Granger. According to the school's bylaws, students are allowed to bring to and carry weapons in school if they can prove they have suitable training and control. Mister Potter has provided that proof, albeit under the name he used in the muggle world. As he was unaware of his true identity at the time, we have chosen to accept his documentation."

Harry raised an eyebrow at this, but said nothing.

"As proven tonight, his training to use firelegs- ("Arms", Both Harry and Hermione corrected) has been exemplary. Yes, Mister Potter?"

"They're called fire arms, Headmaster, you use your hands and arms to use them, not your legs and feet."

Dumbledore mused on that for a moment. "That makes a great deal more sense. That being said, Mister Potter, Professor McGonagall and I have been a bit concerned about the security of your storage of your weapons."

Ron thought of what had happened to the troll and made a face.

"Yeah, according to Fred and George, and Percy, I checked with him to make sure, Gryffindor has an open "borrowing" policy: You can go into someone's stuff to borrow something you need, as long as you tell the person, and return or replace what you took. No one in our dorm has needed to borrow anything yet, and apparently it's rude to try to access privet areas, but…"

Harry looked slightly disturbed at this and nodded. "I suppose a better lock or some wards could be added to one of the compartments of my trunk? And charms on my holsters?"

Professor McGonagall smiled and nodded. "That should do. I'd advise making an allowance in the charms to allow Madame Pomfrey in a medical emergency, and I believe she'd like a brief lesson on care and handling in case of said emergency.

Now, as to the events of this night…."

After everything was done, the three students were released to their dorms, leaving the professors alone.

"So it is true, that boy is under a voluntary geas." Professor Flitwick piped up.

"Indeed. I must remember to thank Poppy for coming up with that story to tell Potter." Snape took a sip of his tea, saw the confused looks on his co-workers faces and continued- "As far as Mister Potter is to know, occasionally the L2 Taint Leaching potion leaves… a by-product in the body that needs to be evacuated via non-magical means, and if the body does not handle that on its own, the process needs to be triggered.

The truth is, I occasionally supply a lesser form of the Draught of the Living Death to street gangs on L2, to deal with the evil that preys on them. And I recall a boy, matching Mister Potter's current description, among them.

The lesser form still fakes death, if only for a few days or weeks, but… muggles cut into the bodies of those who have died of mysterious causes to find out why, which does end up killing a person dosed with the draught. Those monsters in human form died before they could wake.

This world does not need to know that he was essentially a murderer at age four."

There was only silence following Snape's statement

Just a few days later was Harry's first quidditch game.

Oliver Wood (our quidditch captain) kept telling Harry how he should fly in this game, and I should have known Harry was up to something with the way he was smirking every time, but well, hind sight and all that.

Harry did not spend even three minuets flying defensively like Wood wanted. The second pass the other team attempted (the first being successful) Harry zoomed down, like a bolt of lightning, and made the receiving chaser drop the ball! After that, he didn't spend any time looking for the Snitch like he was suppose to, and he was cackling his head off every time he was close enough for me to hear. Harry spent all of his time right in the middle of the action, only occasionally dipping above or below to see a bigger picture of the game. Oh I wish there was some way I could show you the game! At one point, he managed to get a bludger that was chasing him hit the ground. He flew away, laughing as it flew rather wobbly in a different direction. He was very close to the ground, and when he turned to face the direction he was flying in, he was torn from his broom! Oh, Daddy, I was so afraid!

One of the seventh year Hufflepuffs jumped from the stands to help him, tearing some of Harry's quidditch armor off, and doing the Heimlich Maneuver! Hooch stopped play because of someone on the field, I think, and flew down, but right when she got to them, something gold came out of Harry's mouth! Harry had managed to almost choke to death on the Snitch! Thank god the Hufflepuff seeker was a muggleborn- his father is apparently a doctor, and insisted that he qualify as a first responder. Well, now he's going to be famous as the guy who saved the Boy-Who-Lived's life!

Harry's going to be ok, Madame Pomfrey managed to fix his teeth, and is keeping him for a few nights for observation. Harry has to have a silencing charm on him to make sure that his throat heals right, and it'll have to stay on for at least a week after he gets out of the Hospital Wing.

Dumbledore has officially canceled Harry's Sunday activities for the foreseeable future, on Healer's Orders. The students are still allowed to meet up, but Harry's not allowed to do anything until he's cleared by Madame Pomfrey.

Professor Snape, oddly enough, has very publicly banned Harry from class on certain days, living him a list of papers to complete instead. I think it's either because of possible fumes, or because Harry is still blowing certain potions up. I believe the latter, I think- some of the potions on the list are ones we will be covering well after the silencing charm is due to be dropped. (Harry had been muttering something about C4 before the last class we had.)

Oh, and about those books I asked for…

End notes:

. Chess hurts my head. I looked and looked, but I could not find an "equal moveset to a queen but with a limitation" piece, in any listing of fairy chess pieces I looked at. So I made one up. It might pop up again. If someone finds an official fairy chess piece that meets my needs, I'll replace it, but until then:

Elf Queen (Fairy chess, Wizarding World): Moves like a Queen, but cannot capture until promoted to Queen, with promotion being the same as a standard pawn.

I might go into this more in the story, but I'm placing this info here as I'm less likely to lose it until I need it again.

And since I'm bringing it up here: fairy chess is like normal chess, with either extra pieces or pieces that do other things. I think it's mostly used in chess problems, which are all barely disguised logic problems, which hurt my head.

I'm using a slightly different variation for the wizarding world, I think. They have real fairies, after all.

Sorry about the delay in posting, I got my head stuck in second year, and I'm the weird sort that have to write linearly, or I lose what happens before that point. It sucks so much. Hopefully the next chapter will go smoother, I've got it planned to be funny.

You know what? Let's try a little audience participation- Give me funny lines from papers titled "Why I (Harry Potter) am not allowed to be in the classroom when (inset potion here) is brewed" . Best ones make it into the story, with credit!

And I think I'm liking this end chapters with a letter from Hermione to her parents thing. What do you think? Should I stick with just Hermione, or should I mix it up?