NOTE: Since some of y'all want Emily and Sage together, and I need to get out some sexual frustration, this chapter is more MA than M. Hope y'all enjoy...

9. To Feel

Emily's flashback took the breath out of her. She gasped, clutching her chest, as remnants of the pain pulsed through her body. But despite the agony, there was something missing. Like a black hole deep inside of her sucking out all the emotions connected to the pain and washing them away with the bathwater. She had to get it out of her. But how, when she wasn't allowed to hurt herself. Trying to catch her breath, she pondered the situation.

Suddenly, Emily's reverie was broken by a kind voice. "Emily, are ya all right in there?" Sage asked through the almost fully-closed door.

A small smile grew on the brunette's face as she realized what she needed to take the edge off. What she needed to feel alive. "Be out in a minute," she replied, her voice deeper than usual.

Emily shut off the water and wrapped herself in a white hotel towel. Not bothering to brush or dry her hair, she walked into the main room, her hips swaying seductively. The brunette licked her lips as she saw the redhead sitting on the bed. "Sage," she drew out the name, her deepened voice startling her friend.

Sage looked up, and her jaw dropped as she saw Emily in nothing but a small towel, which covered either too much or not enough – she couldn't decide. Water still dripped down the brunette's limbs, and Sage swallowed hard, wanting nothing more than to run her tongue slowly along those rivulets, tasting the softness of the skin underneath. "Em, wha?" She was so overwhelmed that she couldn't form complete words.

Emily dropped the towel, making Sage's eyes bulge. The redhead had loved the brunette, wanted her, for such a long time. But to see her now, in all her glory, Sage thought she looked like nothing less than a goddess.

"I need you to touch me, Sage," Emily said, slowly approaching the bed where Sage still sat, stunned.

"What are ya doin', Emily?" Sage panted, confused and yet so aroused.

"I need you to touch me," the brunette repeated, placing her hands on Sage's shoulders as she straddled the redhead's lap. "Touch me," she ordered, her dark eyes boring into green ones.

Sage's hands remained beside her on the bed as she swallowed dryly and spoke the hardest words she had ever spoken before. "We shouldn't be doin' this, Emily."

Emily slowly ran her hands down Sage's arms towards her hands. "I know you want me, Sage," she said softly. "Do you think I haven't noticed you watching me when you think no one else is looking?" She picked up Sage's hands with her own and brought them up to cover her breasts. Squeezing lightly, Emily's mouth opened as she threw her head back and moaned, grinding her hips down onto the seam of Sage's jeans.

Sage felt her center contract at the sound of Emily's moan, the feeling of her body, and those perfectly shaped breasts in her hands. Her pulse raced, yet she remained motionless, wondering if this was all some cruel joke or simply a dream.

"I need this, Sage," Emily whispered, her eyes finding the redhead's again. "Please, Sage, touch me." The brunette drew Sage's right hand down her abdomen to cover her core. "Please," she repeated as she guided two fingers to her entrance.

Beyond the point of no return, Sage began to circle her fingertips around the brunette's entrance, eliciting a deep moan and a gush of moisture. "You're so wet, Emily," the redhead marveled.

"Please, Sage," Emily begged. "Fuck me." Sage was powerless to resist and immediately drove two fingers into the brunette, causing Emily to moan loudly, "Yes!"

Sage matched the rhythm of her thrusts to that of Emily's hips as they rose and fell. Curling and rotating her fingers slightly, Sage panted audibly as the pitch of the brunette's moans rose higher and higher.

Emily dug her fingertips into Sage's shoulders, balancing and grounding herself as her climax drew closer. "More," she ordered. "Now!"

Sage was overwhelmed and unbelievably aroused. Surrounded by the softness of Emily's skin and the heady scent of sex, the redhead inserted a third finger into the brunette's warm core.

"Yes! Just like that!" Emily moaned, her hips speeding up and her fingertips digging into Sage's shoulders.

Sage moved her thumb up to circle the brunette's clit, eliciting a high-pitched whine. Then, suddenly, the redhead stopped moving her thumb and simply pressed down on the hardened nub while pinching a peaked nipple between the fingers of her other hand. Emily's muscles stiffened as her center exploded, the hard contractions driving waves of pleasure throughout her entire body. Slowly, she relaxed, and Sage withdrew her hand, a light flutter and whimper chasing her fingers out. Emily's bones felt fluid, and she wrapped her arms around her friend as she collapsed, breathing heavily, her head on Sage's shoulder and a small smirk on her face.

Sage embraced the brunette and closed her eyes, inhaling the sweet scent of Emily's skin and running her hands up and down Emily's back as she recovered. The redhead had never before been so aroused yet so satisfied at once. And ever so confused.

Emily's breathing began to slow, and she placed a soft, open-mouthed kiss on her friend's neck. Despite the warmth she felt within, Emily knew she had completely fucked up. Of course she had noticed how gorgeous Sage was, but she had always promised herself never to do to the redhead what JJ had done to her – never to lead her on, let her think there was more to their relationship than friendship and mutual admiration. But she had done it anyway; she had used Sage for her own selfish desires, and now she was probably going to lose the best friend she had ever had. Emily closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, finding the scent of lilacs and earth delectable. Kissing the redhead's neck again and feeling the speed of her pulse, Emily decided that she would just this once give in to her demons and make this experience as good for both of them as she could. Grinding her center down onto the seam of Sage's jeans again, Emily nipped the redhead's neck playfully.

Sage inhaled sharply; Emily's teeth had somehow found just the right spot on her neck to drive her pulse southward. "Emily, we should talk about – "

"Shhhhh," Emily interrupted her friend, placing one finger against the redhead's lips. "Talk later, strip now." The brunette grasped the hem of Sage's t-shirt with one hand, the other grasping her jaw to bring their lips together forcefully.

Sage felt Emily's teeth graze her bottom lip as she pushed the brunette back to look into her deep brown eyes. As confused as she was about what this would mean, what their relationship would be like tomorrow, Sage knew that she wanted Emily, and she saw that desire, for tonight at least, reflected in the brunette's eyes. Forgetting everything else, Sage quickly pulled off her shirt, wanting to feel as much skin contact as she could.

Emily licked her lips in anticipation as the redhead's creamy skin was revealed. Sage was not one to wear low-cut shirts, and Emily was very pleasantly surprised at just how perfect her friend's breasts looked through their black lace covering. Sage's nipples tightened, feeling the brunette's scrutiny, and she pulled Emily back towards her for another heated kiss. Tongues entwining, the two women moaned in unison. Emily unclasped Sage's bra as the redhead's hands wandered down her back to her ass, squeezing the flesh lightly.

The brunette pulled back from the kiss and threw her friend's bra over her shoulder, not caring where it landed. With one hand on Sage's shoulder and the other gently grasping her breast, Emily pushed the redhead down onto her back and rubbed one thigh across her core. As Sage's back arched, Emily pinched her nipple, eliciting a sharp gasp. A smirk crossed her face as the brunette moved quickly to unbutton the redhead's jeans and pull them, along with her matching black underwear, off. Enticed by the shimmering red curls, Emily placed her knee between Sage's thighs and stradled one of her legs.

Ever so slowly, Emily lowered herself onto her friend's body, groaning as her skin slid against Sage's. The redhead moaned loudly as Emily's thigh met her now-uncovered center, and she felt the brunette's fluids drip onto her own thigh. Sage's hips bucked upwards, seeking more pressure, as Emily ground hers downwards and bit down on Sage's hardened right nipple. The redhead moaned again as she gripped Emily's buttocks tightly, trying to pull the brunette down against her, and the two women began to grind against each other faster, panting in unison.

Emily felt Sage's engorged clit tremble against her thigh and knew she was already so close to orgasming. Trying to slow down and draw out the redhead's pleasure – and remembering how flexible her friend was – Emily moved backwards, pulled one of Sage's legs up towards her shoulder by the ankle, and ground her center against Sage's dripping core, eliciting a wordless yell from the redhead. But Emily hadn't realized how amazing it would feel to have the moist warmth sliding against her clit, and the brunette's back arched as she cried out, "Fuck, Sage!"

It only took two more wet strokes for Sage to climax loudly, the strength and intensity of the orgasm surprising her as she dragged the fingernails of one hand up Emily's lower back, the other hand gripping the comforter at her side tensely. With one last stroke, Emily felt a gush of hot, sticky, wetness against her clit and came again, pressing her core down onto Sage's as hard as she could. Each woman could feel the other's center contracting against her own, and the intense sensation drew out both women's orgasms for several minutes until finally Emily collapsed on top of Sage's body.

As the two recovered, Emily breathed, "Woah."

Gasping for air, Sage replied, "Emily. . . fuck. . . that was . . . "

"Intense," the brunette finished her sentence.

"Yah." The redhead sighed. "I don't think I'll be able t' move 'til t'morrow."

Emily chuckled as she raised herself up to look her friend in the eyes. "Aw, don't tell me you're exhausted already." She wetly kissed Sage's ankle, still gripped in her hand. "I'm not done with you yet."

Sage felt her back arch and her eyes close involuntarily as Emily kissed, licked, and nipped her way up the redhead's calf. When Emily reached the inside of her knee and bit down, Sage's hips bucked and she moaned, "Ohh lord, Em!"

Emily watched Sage's center drip with new arousal and licked her lips, swallowing hard. Despite wanting to get right to the point, Emily restrained herself and slowly kissed, licked, and nipped her way up Sage's inner thigh. When a particular spot so close to the redhead's core elicited a sharp gasp, Emily paused, sucking at the skin hard and making sure to leave her mark.

Sage's hands had migrated and she wove her fingers into Emily's silky hair. "Please, Em," she begged, pulling the deep brown locks slightly.

Emily simply moaned in response and slithered her tongue up Sage's slit, curling around her throbbing clit once and eliciting a loud moan before returning to focus her attention on less sensitive areas. Sage was becoming more and more vocal as Emily continued to lavish the redhead's inner lips with her tongue and teeth. Finally, Emily delved inside, tasting the redhead from her source for the first time. She tasted just like she smelled, like lilacs and earth with just a tinge of sour green apple. Emily moaned at the complexity of the flavor, and Sage cried out in pleasure wordlessly. The brunette circled her tongue just inside the redhead's center, loving the sensation of Sage's inner muscles twitching against her tongue. Then Emily thrust her tongue as deeply as she could, reaching for that special spot, and heard Sage's responsive moan as the redhead's hands twitched in Emily's hair.

Knowing that Sage was close, Emily quickly moved upwards and wrapped her lips around the redhead's exposed clit and sucked hard. Sage's hips bucked up violently at the sudden sensation, prompting Emily to flick the tip of her tongue against the tip of Sage's clit and scrape her teeth softly along the length of it.

The sensation was like nothing Sage had ever felt before, and she never wanted it to end. "Oh sweet lord of fuck, Emily!" she yelled as she felt like all of the muscles in her body were contracting at once.

Emily drove two fingers into the redhead's core, and Sage cried out as she came. The brunette slowed the movements of her lips and tongue as Sage relaxed slightly. Then she grinned, curling her fingers inside the redhead's core and pressing down, rubbing that rough, sensitive spot in small circles.

Sage's breathing sped up again at the new stimulation, and Emily added a slight thrusting motion that tore an actual scream from the redhead's throat. The redhead unintentionally pulled Emily's hair hard as her hands formed fists due to the strength of her climax. The brunette sucked hard on Sage's clit again, extending her orgasm for a few more precious seconds. Silky fluid gushed from Sage's core, and Emily's eyes flew open as she felt a squirt of liquid hit her cheek.

Sage panted hoarsely as her body slowly relaxed, and when her arms flopped to her sides with one final moan, Emily was able to move her head up to observe her friend. Sage's eyes were closed, her eyelashes trembled sporadically, and her lips were curved upwards in a small, satisfied smile. She let out a soft whimper as Emily withdrew her fingers, clearly incapable of speech at the moment.

Emily licked her fingers clean as she continued to watch the redhead recover. As her friend's eyes fluttered open, the brunette smirked and commented, "I had no idea you were capable of that."

"Wha?" Sage tried to reply.

"You ejaculated." Emily's smirk grew at the redhead's confusion.

"Em?" To the brunette's amusement, Sage was obviously still completely befuddled.

Emily laughed softly as she placed a chaste kiss on her friend's lips. "Don't worry about it. Just get some sleep."

"I think I'm passin' out," Sage rasped, her throat feeling dry and sore and her eyes drifting shut.

Emily stood up, feeling pleasantly sore, and covered the sleeping redhead with a blanket she found in the hotel room closet. She walked into the bathroom, her smile fading as she realized just how seriously she had fucked up. Yes, the sex had been amazing, but she had never wanted to hurt her best friend. Was this how JJ felt after we crossed that line?, Emily thought. Did she regret even the good times we had together because they led to such despair? What have I done to my best friend?

Leaving the door slightly ajar so that Sage wouldn't worry if she woke up, Emily turned on the water to fill the bathtub. Trying to avoid looking at herself in the mirror, the brunette puttered around, finding some bath salts and adding them to the bath. After a few moments, Emily stepped into the tub and sat down in the almost-scalding water. She wrapped her arms around her knees and let the tears flow.