A/N: So I saw the 4x23 stills and I just had to write this, to deal with my feels somehow.

I hope you enjoy it :)

''Kiss Me Hard Before You Go"

Think I'll miss you forever
Like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky
Later's is better than never
Even if you're gone I'm gonna drive

I see him right before me. His eyes shining just like the stars above, his smile lightening his face in such a wonderful way, those cute dimples on his cheeks I adore so much. How can a devil have dimples? I laugh, hit by how absurd it is. He sends me a questioning look.

"What's so amusing?" He asks and I tremble at how his voice sounds. It always sends chills down my spine. I don't think I've ever heard a voice so beautiful. And it isn't just about its sound and the accent, it's something else. It's about the way he says my name, it's about the way his words smile to me. As if I was his sunshine, his stars and his moon. His voice hugs me, it freezes me and burns at the same time, it runs right through me.

I catch myself staring at him and I blush, reminding myself of his question.

"It's nothing," I say, my eyes leaving his face and now looking at the ground underneath my feet. I can hear him sigh.

"I have to leave, you know." He whispers finally. I look back at him immediately. Of course I knew he wouldn't stay here with me. Of course I knew he would leave one day. This isn't a place for him after all. And as he told me once, it's not a place for me either. And I only snorted at this back then, how dared he even say something like this to me. But now all I feel is disappointment, this gentle sadness crawling under my skin, this choking feeling in my throat, stuck in there like a ghost. I don't even know what to say. Perhaps goodbye would be the best. See you in a year or even in a century. I manage to smile at this one, imagining how would he look like if I told him something like this. Would he laugh? Probably. Would I laugh too? I don't think so. All my happiness seems to be gone by now. It melted somewhere in my heart as he told me he had to leave. And then I think, I have to do something. I have to say something. I have to make him stay.

I have all this speech in my mind, a the words I could definitely say to a thousand year old hybrid who somehow seems to be madly in love with me. Something he wouldn't laugh at, something that would make him grab me and kiss me so hard, until I don't remember what does it even mean to breathe anymore. I have it, I really do. But instead I say,

"Are you all packed up already?"

I blush the second I hear my own words. How stupid could I possibly be? How did I even graduate for God's sake? How could I possibly say something like this? I want to disappear, I want to burn right there in front of him, go hide in some dark hole. Well done, Caroline. Really well done.

"I mean, it must be a lot of stuff, all the things you carry with you." I add, trying to make it a joke but I'm afraid I only make myself even more silly. He doesn't laugh though and I'm not even sure if that's a good sign—that he doesn't think I'm an idiot—or a bad sign—I'm too embarrassing to even laugh at. Just when I'm about to say something more and make myself even more laughable, he finally speaks.

"Yes. But I would leave all those things here if I could take this certain one with me instead."

I can't help myself from blushing again. Luckily the moonlight paints my face pale and he can't see it.

"Yes? And what is it?" I ask, raising my chin up. My voice trembles a little, almost breaks at the last word. I tremble too. I feel my heart beating faster as I wait for his answer. It beats like crazy. I swear, it's just like it wanted to get out of my chest, straight into his hands. I want him to grab it and take it with him.

He looks away, takes a step back. I follow without even thinking about it. It comes so natural – he walks, I follow. I must have learnt it during our dances. As soon as I think that, another desire starts burning inside of me. To dance with him. Right here. But we don't dance, we are just standing here. Both on fire, I assume. Both too scared to tell each other what we truly wish for even though we are fearless.

"Caroline, I—" He starts just when I question him once again,

"What is it?"

He comes closer, resting his hand on my forearm. Our noses almost touch, his eyes never leaving mine. I hold my breath.

"You." He says, still looking right through me. My heart stops. I swear, if I wasn't immortal, I would die right here, fall asleep in his arms and never wake up again. I don't die somehow. I'm still waiting. I guess that's what keeps me alive.

He looks at me, his face closer and closer to mine. I close my eyes. He is going to kiss me. I can almost feel the touch of his lips on mine, his breath in my lungs. I imagine how soft his lips must be, how deliciously sweet. What must they taste like. I remind myself all the flavors I enjoy. I can hear a melody in my head, playing in my thoughts. His voice when he calls my name, like a prayer, like a song. A song of happiness—isn't that even its meaning? Hummingbirds' wings in the wind, his steps as he comes closer to me, the sound he makes when he licks his lips. His sighs, the rustle his clothes make as he moves. All of this sings a song in my mind. And before my eyelids I can see his smile, lightening the darkness—his own darkness. And there is also me. Not the girl I see in the mirror, the girl he sees. The girl smiling at me from his drawings. The one that is beautiful. Strong. Full of light. The one who is ageless and fearless. The one that would follow him, wherever he goes. Rome. Paris. Tokyo. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how different this girl is from me. Because right now, I am her. And he holds me so tight. And our lips will touch any minute. How bittersweet it is, how terribly sad. Just when you learn to love the darkness, it starts to fade. Sadness has such a gentle face though. It's cold like rain, the one falling down in the summer night. It's this certain kind of sadness that doesn't make you feel miserably. It makes you feel happier actually. And if this is the sadness I would taste while being with him, then so be it. I take it. I want it. It's all I ever wished for.

I wonder if he sees it too. I wonder if his eyes are closed. I wonder why does it take him so long—to kiss me. Isn't that what he wanted all along? Isn't that what I wanted too? To kiss this devil, to save his soul? The tears are filling my eyes now. If he kisses me right now, I won't make myself stop crying. He will have to taste everything about me. My happiness, my sadness, my everything. He will finally get to know me, the girl I truly am. The scared one. The one that's trembling right before him.

And then his lips touch mine. I open my mouth immediately, but he doesn't kiss me. He just breathes into my mouth, his words running down my throat, becoming my words.

"You are gonna have to find me first." He whispers.

And right now it's just like drowning. Like falling down into darkness, trying to hold on to something. Touching all the shadows around you in paranoia, trying to catch something. It's the opposite of what I thought I would feel like – it's like being cursed to crawl after an eternity of flying. I start choking. I reopen my eyes.

I reopen my eyes and he is not here.

His touch still lingers on my skin. I still breathe his air. I still see him everywhere I look. But it's just me, surrounded by darkness. A silver moon looking at me from heavens, stars smiling at me as if it never happened.

He is no longer here. He is gone, along with my kiss. The kiss goodbye, the one I almost died waiting for.

He is no longer here so I must go there. Wherever he is. Follow him, like his brightest shadow.

He is no longer here but the touch of his lips still remains on mine. And I'm going to find out what they taste like.

I just have to find him first.