AN: hey guys this chapter might be a bit sad. but hey

disclamer: i don't or never will own Kickin It

Dear diary... 21.9.13

Last night me and my boyfriend got in yet another fight. This time it was about something stupid like what song was better I think. I know it's not much. But he turns into a big deal like he will blame me. Today he said that I never let him have an opinion and I'm over ruling his life. That didn't get me too bad but then he said... he said that I was a horrible girlfriend, the worst girlfriend he's ever had. We broke up last night. It's nothing new. We always get into fights. I mean the last two months we've broken up about 7 times, then he calls me and says that he loves me and that he's sorry. I'm always too weak to say no I don't want to get together or forgive him. But if he loved me we wouldn't fight. He thinks I don't know any better.

He wasn't always this way we used to be really close and we both loved each other so much, he took me out on romantic dates and gave me sweet gifts and cards. He even gave me a necklace I've never taken off it's in the shape of a heart with is name engraved on the back to show everyone that I was his. After about 3 months we started to fight.

I just don't know how much more of this heart ache my heart can take before it breaks in to a thousand little pieces.

All my friends have noticed that we grew apart. That I'm almost scared to go near him at school. We don't share kisses like we used to. Or even hugs. Instead he hurts me. In the last two weeks he's started to hit me. He slapped me across the face during one of our arguments. And he's one of the few people that know about my past, my mom and dad left me when I was 7 I now live with my aunt, and she's always out on business so I basically live by myself. Him arguing with me makes me feel like no-one loves me that I will always be just another unloved face in the crowd.

I want our relationship to end so I can find someone who really loves me.

Only one of my friends know what's happening they're the person I'm closer to then anything in the world and they promised not to do anything.

I have a few cuts on my wrists where I've tried to wash away the pain that he's caused me but it didn't work it realised some pain and emotion seeing the red blood on my wrist but it didn't last long so I stop after about a month when my friends started to notice and helped me to stop. But he didn't care he just looked at me then looked away not a hint of worry in his eyes.

He makes me feel awful and worthless he always brings up about how my parents left me and how my aunt only came to look after me because she felt sorry for me that's why she's always away so she can get away from me. When I try to break up with me he just laughs and says I'm pathetic and that he's all I've got. He's not wrong.

He doesn't call me beautiful anymore. Does that mean I'm no longer beautiful? That I'm ugly.

I know he doesn't love me. He's told me enough times

I'm going to end it

Love your writer (I don't want to say my name in case he sees and beets me)

The next day

Dear diary...22.9.13 / 9.22.13

Today I let him go I don't hsve to face the constant pain I can give my heart a break

My ex boyfriend Jack Brewer is no longer a part of my life

Love Kimmy C xx

AN: OMG guys did you here about jennette mccurdys mom, she died of cancer after fighting for 17 years yesterday (20.9.13/9.20.13) RIP.

Please R&R thanx love u guys

~ Live Life full of Love (used to be babbity changed my name)

PLEASE