100. Returning to Sanity

2014

Harry wakes from his slumber to hear his husband keening. He knows that sound, though he hasn't heard it for a long while and had hoped never to hear it again.

He leaps into action; almost before thinking, a Silencing Charm surrounds them, a Calming spell is weaved around his beloved and his Patronus springs to life. The stag needs no instruction; it leaps away to fetch their mothers.

Harry turns to Draco. The blond has not woken yet, and Harry cradles him in his arms. The nightmares started ten years ago, as Harry's finally tapered off. Sometimes, Draco dreams that he loses his family; but he can cope with that, just. But this dream is different, Harry knows. In this dream, Draco is imagining that he refused his wand when Harry offered it. In this dream, they never became friends, or lovers, or parents.

There is nothing he can do to help Draco come out of the dream, he knows; Draco will come out of it on his own. His job is to keep the family safe. So he holds his husband close to his heart, and rocks him, speaking gentle words of love and compassion. Before long, he hears the Floo in the drawing room below, and Narcissa's voice, greeting her grandson.

She comes up, after a few minutes, to check on them. Harry tells her to come in as soon as she reaches the landing; her head pops round the door and her gaze sweeps over them. It is full of kindness and concern, and Harry knows by now that she is worried for both of her sons.

"It's the dream again," he says, apologetically; "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she replies, her voice filled with love. "You stay there, spend the day together and don't worry about a thing." She leaves to go and look after the two younger children, as the Floo springs to life again in the room below. This time Molly's voice greets her adopted grandchildren; Narcissa goes down to greet her.

Harry is glad to have heard that Lily is now awake. Teddy, Scorpius, James and Albus, home from Hogwarts for Christmas, are staying with Andromeda this week, and Lily and Remus are going to be spoilt rotten today by their grandmothers, so he does not worry about his children. He turns his full attention back to his husband, who is starting to come back to consciousness.

"H- H- Harry…" Draco mouths.

"Shh, love," Harry insists, quietly, and kisses the blond slowly, oh so slowly and gently.

"Mmmm…" Draco says appreciatively, and Harry watches the grey eyes open and stare at him. He can see that there had been fear there; but it is going now, replaced by … love? No, Harry looks again. It isn't just love. There is something else.

Relief?

No.

Devotion.

"I love you, Harry," Draco says, gripping his husband tight, nuzzling his chest. "So much …"

"I know, love, I know" Harry replies, kissing him, stroking him, feeling all the tension ease away from him as he relaxes into the arms now surrounding him. "Just rest now."

Harry waits until his husband is fully calm before he speaks again.

"I love you," he says, simply, kissing the forehead.

"Thank you, Harry," Draco says. Then suddenly, a mother's instinct comes up, and he asks, "what about the children?"

Harry stifles the chuckle that rises. He knows Draco doesn't appreciate even the suggestion of a joke about the children's safety. "Andy has the older four, and Molly and Narcissa are here," he says. There is no quibble about the number 'four'; they've both thought of Teddy Lupin-Black as their son for years now. "Lily and Remus will be fine."

"And what about the Ministry?"

"Oh, the Minister will understand if I'm not there, and no-one else will mind, I'm sure. You just rest, we'll stay here together today, all right?"

Draco's eyes sparkle. "I would love that, Harry," he says.

They hadn't quite expected Albus Severus Malfoy-Potter to come along. The healers had thought it very unlikely that Draco could ever be pregnant again. But Draco felt him the moment he was conceived, and they had both loved him from then. Now the quiet, gentle boy, who had Harry's eyes and (poor child) untameable hair, was thirteen. His older brothers had been ecstatic to learn about him, and had always looked out for him. Harry was glad, in a way, that he was brighter than either of them, and as good as wizard already as half the graduates of Hogwarts; he had been worried that Albus would always be in his brothers' shadows, but now he is tutoring them in charms, and finally growing in confidence.

If Albus was unlikely, Lily was supposed to be impossible. But she had come, nonetheless, six years later, and Remus two years after that. Everyone adores Lily; there is something about her that even has Lucius Malfoy going all gooey. Remus is a rambunctious boy and, at four, often has his grandfather playing rough-and-tumble on the lawn at Malfoy Manor. Lucius pretends to dislike the game and to do it as a special favour for the boy; but no-one watching the adoring grandfather, relaxed and laughing his head off at his grandson's antics, is fooled for a moment.

When Elphias Doge had retired eight years ago, there was really no question who should replace him as Chief Wizard. Kingsley had insisted Harry take the job; but Harry had found he couldn't be Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement as well. There was simply too much work now that the Potter Code was in place. So he had resigned the job he had loved for three years, and took on one that he hadn't been sure about. He knows now it was one of the best decisions of his life.

Kingsley's replacement three years later was much more controversial. There had been a huge cry against it; and some in the Wizengamot had insisted that surely the Potter Code meant they should have a half-blood for Minister?

But Harry had smiled.

"No," he explained patiently, "it means we should pick the best witch or wizard for the job. Can you name me a better one?"

And they could not. So, Lucius Malfoy was duly sworn in as Minister for Magic.

To begin with, the Daily Prophet posted a slew of articles attacking the decision. It doesn't post them any more. No-one would read them. No-one can deny that Lucius has done an amazing job reforming the new, much smaller Ministry, and witches and wizards find themselves living freer and happier lives than they had ever dreamt possible.

On his induction, Arthur had offered Lucius his resignation; but Lucius insisted that he stay.

"Let's show the world that the days of 'pure-blood v. blood-traitor' are well and truly dead and buried," he told his new Deputy.

So Arthur had stayed; and now the two men are close friends as well as colleagues.

Horace Slughorn is enjoying his retirement immensely this time round. He had waited until Borage declared that his replacement was ready; and now for four years Professor Draco Malfoy-Potter has held sway in the dungeons of Hogwarts.

"What do you want, love?" Harry asks.

Draco knows what he wants, and turns to his husband. "I want you, Harry, I want to feel you inside me. I want to be one with you. Take the pain away, Harry, please …"

Sometimes their love-making is wild, even brutal. But not when Draco has nightmares. This time, it's slow and tender. Harry takes his time massaging his husband, smoothing away the knots and tension, gently preparing him. It takes an hour before he decides Draco is ready. Even then, he takes great care.

Draco loves it. He loves that Harry seems to always know just what he needs, just how to take away the fear and pain. Just how to make it clear to him that he is loved and cherished.

It's possible that whatever Harry does would be wonderful, because of the Debt and the bond. But Draco doesn't think so. It's been years since he's felt at all that how he feels and what he does are in any way dictated by such things.

As he lies in his husband's arms, Draco finally feels all the darkness of the dream slipping away completely. He is so thankful. Harry loves him, and he feels that love all the time now. That's why the dream terrifies him so: he might have missed out on the thing that is worth most to him in his whole life. He knows that in real life, because of Voldemort's curse, he would have quickly died without magic, but in the dream, somehow he survives, growing old and bitter and twisted, and dies, childless, unloved, alone.

But here he is, step-father of one amazing young boy and the mother of five beautiful children, all six of whom he loves with all his heart, who love him and bring such joy into his life. Here he is, husband to the most amazing, kind man he had ever met, whom he adores with all his heart, and who loves him back in return.

They had all been taken to the brink of madness. Their world had had to deal with Death Eaters, and nasty pieces of work like Dolores Umbridge and Messalina Nott, and the sheer incompetents such as Fudge and Bagman; all being used by Voldemort to foment discord, to try to enforce his rule, his control, his evil will.

But now Voldemort is dead, the Death Eaters are no longer a power, Umbridge and Nott are in Azkaban and will die there, Fudge is heavily supervised and the Ministry reorganized to find and reward the competent and stop the incompetent from creating havoc.

Now, together, they are walking back from the edge.

Now, at last, they are returning to sanity.