They jumped into Gordon's car (Batman's being AWOL) and semi-sped off down the street. Gotham main street was pretty impossible to have a car chase down unless someone was hanging out of a truck with a bazooka, someone had a Batmobile or someone had the city on lockdown. So, Batman sat with his head on his fist resting on his knee, sighing, as Gordon attempted to weave in and out of cars that Bane's stupid little car managed to fit through easily.

After the third heavy braking, Batman sighed, and Gordon glared at him.

"Look, it's not my fault I'm in a police car and he's in a hairdryer is it?"
"Alright, calm down."
"No! I will not! If you were going to be so petty you should have driven!"
"I'm not being-"
"You sighed! You're always sighing!"
"Gordon, just drive the car."

Gordon managed to barge his way through the traffic just in time to see Bane take a corner. And, due to his weight and the small size of his car, tip it sideways and skid along the deck for a second.

Batman and Gordon looked at each other once Gordon had braked.

"Well, that was easy."

And then the car tipped back up and Bane's hand disappeared back in the window. And a slightly battered smart car sped back off like a go-cart in the most ridiculous car chase you could ever imagine.

Gordon put the car into gear again.

"Well, I didn't expect that."

After at least seven blocks and Bane tipping the car another three times, Batman and Gordon were really losing interest.

"Is he just going to drive around all day?" Gordon asked, sirens blazing but stopping nonetheless to let a woman with a baby across the road.
"If you don't hurry up and catch him."
"You are seriously cranky this afternoon, Batman!"
"Do you blame me?"

Bane had picked up speed now they had reached the less habited, dingy part of Gotham city. The car was swaying dangerously as he sped around corners, and Gordon and Batman were just waiting for another tip.

And another tip came. And it was pretty spectacular.

The car landed on its side and skidded off into a wall, sparks flying off the metal where it connected with the pavement and screeched. Bane pushed the passenger side door open and tried to heave himself up and out, but had a bit of a problem due to his size compared to the car.

Gordon pulled up beside him, taking the keys out of the engine and hopping out.

"How the hell did he fit in there in the first place?"
"No idea."

They approached a struggling Bane, who stopped suddenly and stared at them.

"Ah Batman, Commissioner, how very nice to-"

A door slamming and an irate voice cut him off.

"What the fuck is this ciuty coming to, huh? When a guy can't even get some sleep because fricken idiots keep skidding cars into my wall. I mean, what the hell? Can you drive? Who gave you your license coz I'm gonna be having words with them!"

The man sniffed, and by this point everyone was staring at him.

"I mean, come on! I'm ill, and I'm trying to get better because this scummy bit of the city is boring and Bruce Wayne has a party in a few days and let's face it, I can't turn up looking like this!"

He coughed, loudly, and Bane looked at Batman.

"Why, Bruce Wayne won't mind. He's right there."

Batman narrowed his eyes, and the Joker threw his arms out.

"Well, ya, genius. I know that, I mean, of course I'm gonna know who my Batsy is. But point is, I need my beauty sleep! Not, ya know, some douchebag muscle-man with roid rage slamming into my walls all of the time!"

Gordon turned to Batman.

"Does everyone know who you are in this town?"
"Apparently."

Gordon shrugged.

"Alright, you're both coming with us."

Bane looked at the Joker, and started struggling again. The Joker blew him a kiss and started to run away into the shadows in his boxer shorts and flip-flops, wheezily giggling.

"Gods sake," Batman muttered, and took off after him.

He caught him in the next alley, coughing his guts up, and walked up behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder and spinning him around to face him. which, obviously was a big mistake, because the Joker took that opportunity to sneeze directly in his face, covering his face with spit and snot.

Batman went to wipe it off, and maybe punch the Joker, but the Joker kicked him in the balls, waving his arms around, giggling and shrieking,

"Forgot your codpiece!"

When Bruce picked himself up of the floor, the Joker was gone and he was very annoyed.

Although not as annoyed as he was three days later when he was stuck in bed with the world's worst cold, missing his own party and his midnight vigils in the process. And, as he was texting John to tell him the whole saga, he allowed himself, just to once to say, FML.