Your Complex

Fandom: Invader Zim

Rating: M

By: Shadako

Part 4: What you want isn't what you need.

Do you know this weird feeling deep in your stomach that tells you something is horribly wrong? That fight or flight instinct kicks in and your hands start to feel oddly cold. Muscles tense and all your senses are focused on the thing that spells out danger. It's strange, your body is trying it's hardest to make you aware of the fact that you should get yourself out of a situation. And your brain? It kinda shuts down, not really willing to listen to that feeling in your stomach. At least that's what my brain decided to do. Everything inside of me screams at me that this is getting out of hand, that I'm far beyond my comfort zone. Yet I don't move a muscle, I don't get up and I don't leave. I should tell him no and end this ridiculous conversation once and for all. I really, really should do that. He hasn't moved either, fake violet eyes still watching me intently.

There is no uncertainty in his gaze. He's damn sure of what he wants and clearly not ashamed of straight out asking for it. Or rather, demanding. It wasn't a question, not even a suggestion. He simply decided that I will be his test subject, whether I want to or not. I can get up and leave, tell him he's crazy and I'm not stupid enough to go along with this. If I do, he'll get somebody else. A replacement. I know he will. That's the reason why I can't just walk away right now. And somehow I get the feeling he knows it, too. That's why he's putting me in this situation in the first place, isn't it? Because he knows I wont refuse. Can't, really. I swore to protect the rest of humanity from this crazy alien, after all.

"..." I still can't come up with a reply. My mind is working in overdrive and still my mouth wont form a single sentence. What do I even want to answer? I can't let Zim take advantage of some random unsuspecting person. At the same time I really don't want to go along with his crap, either. I don't want him anywhere near me, let alone this close. I don't want to allow him to treat me like some sort of guinea pig. He can't just play around with me however he damn well pleases. I refuse to be manipulated by him like this. And yet I am still silent. Why can't I just tell him to fuck off? Why is such a seemingly simple decision so hard for me? Well, because I can't just let somebody else walk into their doom like this. But sacrificing my own dignity, just to keep Zim away from others? This is insane.

The ring of the bell interrupts the tense silence. Other students pile out of the cafeteria, back to their classrooms. Zim chooses this moment to break eye contact with me and gets up as well. Without another word he waves at me, smirking, and leaves. Even after he is gone from my sight, I still can't force myself to move. My thoughts are a mess, my hands still clenched into fists on the table. Even when the next period starts I still just sit there and stare at the abandoned carton of strawberry milk. It's not like the teachers would miss me, anyway.

The last pointless lesson of the day is about to finish, only a few more minutes and I can get out of here. Not that I really look forward to going home today. I wont be able to relax at all, nor will I be getting much sleep tonight. Knowing myself, I'll just lie awake and overthink everything. Even if I have somewhat recovered from lunch break, my fingers are a little shaky around the pen in my grasp. I still haven't given Zim any answer. Haven't talked to him at all, to be honest. And the worst part, he seems completely fine with it. Not even sparing me a fleeting glance since he left me alone at that table. Instead he toys with his phone like device, typing away on the display. Probably replying to texts again. Messaging a person that isn't me. Something that I shouldn't give a damn about. Yet I do.

There is this strange, twisted sense of betrayal inside of me. And no matter how much I rationalize the situation, this stupid feeling wont vanish. Just because the crazy alien is chatting away with some other person I get riled up. I really can't explain why. It's not like he usually texts me instead. Today was the first time he ever did. Hell, I didn't even know he communicated that way at all. I also didn't know that he has any contact to humans beyond what's necessary for his idiotic plans. It hadn't even crossed my mind that he could be interested in keeping someone around. Well, someone else than me. Other humans never held his attention for long, it was always just him and me. Fighting and bickering and hating each other. His presence in my life nothing but a constant annoyance. If anything, I should be happy that he finally found someone else to bug with his stupidity. The big question here, why am I not? Why am I feeling the way I do instead? Am I really worried about Zim replacing me? If so, I need professional help. Well, that's what Gaz keeps telling me since grade school, but still. It must be bad by now.

The alien walks out after the final bell for the day rings, leaving me behind without even acknowledging my existence. The nerve of that little green monster! First he wont leave me alone half the day, constantly hanging around like he always fucking does. Then he goes and tells me to 'take their place' in his ridiculous experiments or whatever. And now he completely ignores me? I haven't even given him a damn answer. It's not like I already said no, damn it!

Anger rising, I shove my stuff into my bag and sling it over my shoulder. Heavy boots stomp through the rain soaked schoolyard, eyes not looking at anybody while I leave. The wind picks up on my way back home, rain starting up yet again when I'm half way there. With soaked clothes and a sour mood I reach the front door and drag myself inside. Gaz is already there, back towards me while she hammers away on her console controller. I don't bother with saying anything.

Once back in my room I'm greeted by the mess I left there the day before Zim had decided to abduct me to his lab. My cheeks heat up the moment that thought crosses my mind. Hadn't I decided to forget it ever happened? Well, plan's not working too well. Hanging the wet trench coat over the back of my chair I close my eyes briefly, palms massaging my temples. I can already feel a nasty headache coming. My life just keeps getting worse and worse by the day. As if to prove me right, a buzzing noise echos in the otherwise silent room. With a renewed feeling of dread I reach for my backpack, dragging my phone out. The screen displays a new message, from a now familiar number. 'Made up your mind yet, wormbaby?'

I scowl at the stupid nickname, for a moment thinking about just ignoring the bastard. God knows I have a million reasons to do so. Common sense also tells me not to answer somebody who sexually assaulted me not two days prior. But I just can't bring myself to block the number. It would be easy, it would be the smart thing to do and completely reasonable after all the shit he pulled. My finger hovers over the display for a moment longer before I place the phone back on my desk and leave my bedroom. A warm shower sounds pretty good right now. Especially since I didn't have the time this morning. Waking up naked in a freaking cold bedroom 20 minutes before you have to be at school doesn't exactly leave much room for it. Another spike of rage flares up while recalling the circumstances of my return home. He could at least have his damn computer put my clothes back on before dropping me off on my bed. But no, it must be so much more fun to drag me back home naked. Probably let his crazy robot do it. Fucking messed up alien bastard...

I lie on my back, staring up at the ceiling. I don't feel that awful anymore after a shower, something to eat and clean, dry clothes. Gaz hasn't bothered to stop her gaming to pay any attention to me, so I got to eat some leftovers in peace. Thinking about Zim and his general awful self also wasn't so bad while being distracted. But now, well, that's a different thing. With nothing to do but willing my body to fall asleep, there isn't anything to keep my mind from going to places it should not. Like imagining who he might try to lure into trusting him enough to experiment on right now. Or who he might have already dragged to his base. Would he be that quick to pick another human? Probably. He already messaged someone today, repeatedly. So he had another person in mind from the very start? Or is it just in case I don't go along with his plans?

Was it even ever his plan to use only me? Was I even the first person? Well, who else would he chose but me. Isn't your nemesis the first logical choice for forcefully strapping them to a table and humiliating them? Why am I even thinking about that. What do I care if he already has somebody else. Should I even bother with trying to help them if they walk willingly into his trap? Probably not.

Again, common sense tells me to close my eyes and sleep. This isn't my problem. I can't stop him anyways. Like he said, I need to sleep every now and then. I can't constantly watch him and keep him away from everybody. My eyes fall on my phone, still atop my desk on the other side of my room. Zim did say that he has to look for somebody else just because I wasn't cooperating, didn't he. Which means I don't have to constantly watch him, because he wont bother with anybody else if he has me.

I squeeze my eyes shut, draping one arm over my face. He could also be lying, maybe he said that only to rile me up. He's a manipulative little shit after all. After only a few minutes my eyes open again, head turning to the side. But this is Zim we're talking about, he's never bothered with unnecessary work. Especially if it means dealing with people. So getting me to play along would be so much easier than involving others, since he doesn't really have to hide the fact that he's an alien from me. No one would believe me either, if I told them about the crap he pulls. My bare feet touch the ground and I get up to retrieve my phone.

'You are so full of shit, Zim.' While I wait for his answer I save his number as a contact. The exact opposite of what would be the smart thing to do. A soft buzz breaks the quiet in my bedroom. 'I take that as an yes. Tomorrow evening, you don't have plans, do you?' Why is he even asking me that. He wouldn't care if I had plans. But being myself, naturally, I don't have anything to do on a friday night. It's not like I have any friends to spent the weekend with. Well, unless you count Zim. Which I really don't do.

'No.' Letting myself fall back into bed with my black phone in hand I press the send button, already regretting it. What's wrong with me. Just why am I doing this?

'I figured as much. Meet me at ten. Unless that's past your bedtime, hyooman.' Just Fuck him. Even over a stupid chat window he manages to piss me off. And I can even imagine the smug grin on his face right now. Bastard. Little, annoying green bastard. He knew I would play along in the end, didn't he. Damn it.

'It's human, you know. H.U.M.A.N. you idiot.' With that last message sent I place the device on my bedside table and relax back into my pillow. Or I try to. I can only hope to reach the point of being so tired that I won't care about anything anymore pretty soon and just go to sleep.

A malicious chuckle fills the otherwise silent underground room. Soft magenta lights illuminate the many consoles and shut off monitors. A hand clad in black latex lazily holds the communication device up for the alien to see. Pleased with the humans predictable reactions, he let's the insult slide. Also ignoring the jab at his obviously lacking grammar skills.

"Tch, as if Zim cares how you spell these pathetic words anyways." With that he sets the makeshift earthling phone down and stretches. Typing away on this stupid thing sure is tiring, how the humans love doing it so much is beyond him, really. "Well, looks like we've just found ourselves a willing participant for tomorrow." Another twisted laugh echos in the big room. "See, told you the Dib would give in eventually!"

"...fine, I still think it's a stupid idea..." The annoyed sounding drawl from the base's computer system answers. Waving one clawed hand in dismissal, the alien gets up. It's nothing new that the houses AI isn't exactly a pleasant conversation partner. Not like the irken has that many other options on this stupid ball of dirt. Well, like the humans say, beggars can't be choosers, or something.

"Nonsense, Zim's plans are always flawless!" The confidence in the invaders voice is hard to miss, while the computer has really no idea where it's so called master gets it from. It's not like that many of his amazing plans have worked out all that well yet. Still, what can it do but go along with it? Not like a programmed being like it could just apply for a new job somewhere else.

"...Whatever you say." The lights dim down even more after the alien has left the room, headed for the upper levels of the base. A drooling robot is the first thing that greets Zim once he exits the elevator. A little update he made a few years back, when it became apparent that the earth was affecting his height somehow. The elevator, that is, not Gir. His demented little robot companion remained pretty much the same, every attempt to fix the thing having failed spectacularly. Gir's glowing blue eyes glued to the TV screen made him oblivious to Zim's presence.

With a pleasant smirk still in place the invader falls back onto the couch, joining the robot. Not that he's particularly interested in what these dirtworms on earth call entertainment, but every now and again it turns out to be quite amusing. Like now.

A distressed woman is rushing trough some shady looking building, arms pressed close to her bleeding stomach. Some guy with a knife hot on her heels, calling out to her. Zim chuckles evilly when the woman trips a second later, alerting Gir to his presence. The little robot turns around with a delighted expression. "Mastah! Is Mary coming to play?"

"Not right now, but soon." Gir squeals in delight, he always loved to have the human with the big head around. Mary is fun! Catching up to the fallen girl the masked man on screen grasps her by her hair, cruelly pulling her up. A loud scream erupts from the television and blood splatters onto the concrete floor of the building. The manic looking man stabs her repeatedly while she wails and trashes. Just how does the robot always end up with these horror movies? Not that Zim is complaining.

"Mary will be here tomorrow night." More violence, more blood curdling screams and the man laughs, not letting his victim go. That's it, you bitch. Scream for me! He demands and the pretty blonde woman does. You're mine now! Her tear stained face nods helplessly. And the man brings the knife down again.

"And then we'll play." The pair on screen falls silent as the girl stops moving while Gir jumps up and starts running around in sheer joy. Playtime with Mary was his favorite thing! Even better than seeing Mr. stabby-man. Maybe master would allow him to watch? He liked watching. Almost as much as tacos. Maybe Mary would bring tacos? That would be great! With a silly smile the crazy robot companion takes his place on the ground again, eyes back on the screen. By now it's just some random commercial flashing in bright colors. But that's okay, since he'll get to watch master play with Mary tomorrow. Maybe Mary would scream a little as well? He liked screaming. Almost as much as tacos...

~~~tbc.

Look, another chapter! ^/^ I'm mostly busy with university and the likes, but with the announcement for a new Zim movie I couldn't help but write! Some artists that I really adore got back into the fandom or felt inspired by the announcement as well, so with all the new amazing Zim – art, how could I resist? :D

Also, next chapter might become a little twisted yet again, but I guess you figured that out if you've read this till now, lol! There won't be extreme gore or character death in this fic tho, don't worry! I'm not a fan of these things, so I'll steer clear of those themes. I also am not too fond of noncon and stuff, but for this fic it works pretty well... Eh. Whatever, I guess? Lemme know what you think in the reviews! I love hearing from you guys! 3

Till next chapter!

Shad~