The foot were closing in on Raph, Mikey had to save his brother, no matter how much Raph would hate it. Mikey held the chain end of his kusarigama and sent it flying, but it went high. He watch helplessly as the blade cut into the Foot Ninja's throat.

Mikey starting gasping for air. Raph turned to look at his brother. Mikey's knees buckled and his eyes rolled into the back of his head, he collapsed to the ground.

Raph ran to his brother. He shook his, but Mikey did not stir. "Mikey?" Raph was starting to panic. He did not see his brother get hurt. Raph scooped up Mikey into his arms. "We need to-" he stopped. Raph saw the blade of Mikey's kusarigama in the neck of a Foot. Mikey killed someone. "Leo! Donnie!" his brothers turned around to see Mikey in Raph's arms and the Foot ninja dead at his feet.

"Is he dead?" Leo ask numbly.

Raph knew what Leo meant, he nodded his head. "Mikey is the first one of us to kill."

They knew it was going to happen one day. whether it be accident or necessary, they knew one day someone would die by their hands. What they never guessed was Mikey would be the first one to take a life.

"Is-is Mikey hurt?" Leo asked looking over the orange clad turtle in Raph's arms.

"I-I don't think so...he just collapsed," Raph said shakily.

"Sounds like he collapsed from shock," Donnie said placing a hand on his brother's head, then moved it over his brother's heart, "his heart is racing." Donnie's own heart dropped.

It was a silent walk home. They finally entered the lair, Splinter looked up the couch to see Michelangelo in the arms of Raphael. "Michelangelo!" Splinter called out, "what happened?"

Raph laid Mikey on the couch, Leo placed a pillow under his head. "He-he...killed someone."

Splinter's mouth dropped, he did not want to show his emotion, but this was shocking. "Is he physically okay?" Splinter asked checking over his son.

"I think he is just in shock," Donnie said.

Splinter bent down and picked Mikey up in his arms, "it will be okay my son." He carried Mikey to his room and laid him in his bed and covered him up. It was going to happen, all his sons would have their first kill, but Splinter never would have thought Michelangelo would be the first to kill. Splinter did not want to leave his son's side. Michelangelo was so caring and compassionate, for him to take a life would take a great toll on him.

Leo, Raph, and Donnie were sitting in on the couch. No one has spoken since they came back, none of the brothers could place themselves in their brother's shell. Donnie wanted to in and comfort Mikey. Mikey always came to him when he had a nightmare, and this was like a giant nightmare, and the worst part was it was reality.

Splinter found he had fallen asleep in the chair by his son's bed. He was jerked awake by Mikey screaming. "Michelangelo, it will be all right," Splinter said.

"I-I k-killed someone!" Mikey sobbed, "it's n-not alright!" Mikey turned his head away from his father, "I-I want to be alone," Mikey whispered.

"Very well my son, but if you need to talk you can come to me at anytime," Splinter tried to place a hand on his son's shoulder, but he pulled back, "would you like something to eat?" Mikey could only nod.

Leo saw Splinter leave Mikey's room, "how is he?" he asked.

Splinter shook his head, "he will need our support, but for right now he wishes to be alone. I would like you three to respect his wishes."

"Hai sensei," they said at the same time.

Mikey was shaking. He killed someone, sure they were a member of the foot clean. They were a human, they had a family, maybe some kids. Mikey held his hands over his eyes, he tried to shake the visual. He heard a knock at his door, he jumped and fell off his bed. He crawled under his bed. There was another knock, "go away!"

"Michelangelo, it is me. I have food for you," Splinter said, he opened the door and walked in holding the tray with a bowl of noodle soup. Splinter watch as Mikey slowly crawled out from under his bed. "I will just leave you the soup, I do not have to stay," he said placing the tray on Mikey's bed.

"Thank you," Mikey said. He turned away, "I would like to be alone, sorry sensei."

"As you wish my son," Splinter said turning to leave, he lingered for a moment to watch Mikey take a spoonful of the soup.

Splinter found it hard to sleep, he knew if Michelangelo needed him he might not come if he was sleeping. Splinter closed his eyes, he remembered his first kill. He was a few years older than Michelangelo is. He felt the same way Michelangelo did, he was scared and nervous. It was Saki who helped him get through it.

It was early the next morning when Splinter went to check on Michelangelo. He knocked on the door, but no response came. He knew his son could just be sleeping, he knocked again this time turning the door nob; it was locked. Splinter's heart dropped. He forced the door open by ramming it with his shoulder. He looked around the room looking for Michelangelo. Splinter found him in the corner holding a kunai to this neck. "Michelangelo!" Splinter cried.

"No! Don't come closer!" Mikey cried pressing the kunai closer into his skin. Splinter saw blood drip down his son's neck a tear fell from his eye.

"Michelangelo, please drop the kunai," Splinter said.

"But I am a murderer!" Mikey began to shake from crying so hard.

Splinter knelt down and took the weapon from his son's shaking hand. "Michelangelo you are not a murderer. To be a murderer you have to intentionally kill. You killed accidentally, that does not make you a murderer."

"Yes it does!" Mikey whined.

"If you are a murderer than so am I," Splinter said.

"W-what?" Mikey choked out.

"It is true, before I tell you let me clean that cut on your neck."

"I don't want to leave. I don't want to see my brothers."

Splinter held is paw to the cut on Mikey's neck, you don't have to. I will go and get the supplies I need. Before Splinter could stand up Mikey held onto his kimono, "don't go," he cried, "I want my daddy."

"Very well, but I would still like to clean your cut, may I ask Donatello-" he stopped when he saw the panicked looked on Michelangelo's face. Splinter took the kunai and tore the hem of his kimono and used the cloth to wrap around Mikey's neck to stop the bleeding. "There, all better," Splinter said smiling warmly, but Mikey turned his head away. "Let me tell you my story," Splinter said.

Mikey nestled himself in his father's arms, "ready," he murmured.

"When I was not much older than yourself I killed someone. I lived in a small village, all the boys trained to be ninjas under Master Kyoutsu. Most boys followed the code ninjutsu, there were some older boys who thought themselves to be above the code. There was this beautiful but shy girl who lived in my village. You see her mother died when she was very young, before her mother died she gave her the teddy bear she had when she was child. The girl treasured that bear and carried it with her where ever she went. One day the older boys took the bear from her and played a game of keep away." Splinter started to explain his story, but Mikey stopped him.

"Sensei what does this have to do with your first kill?"

Splinter rubbed his son's head, "I will get to it," Splinter held his son tighter. It had been a long time since he spent quality time with Michelangelo, he just wished the situation was better. Michelangelo was sweet, caring, and easy going, but right now he needed all the help he could offer him, "as I said she dearly loved his toy bear. I tried to get the toy her her, but the older boys pushed me away from getting it," Splinter took a deep breath he never told his sons this story, "I jumped to my feet, I used the heel of my hand to break his nose, he stumbled back and tripped. He hit is head on the corner of a fountain, he was killed instantly." Splinter closed his eyes it had been a long time since he remembered this day.

"But sensei that was an accident..." Mikey said.

"Michelangelo did you intend to kill that foot soldier?"

"Well no," Mikey said. Mikey started to shake, "but-but...he was going to hurt Raph...and-and..."

"You love your brother and would do anything for him. Just as would have done anything for Tang-Shen."

"Tang-Shen...that is the name of-"

"yes my late wife," Splinter gave his son a sad smile.

"Wait sensei...is that the bear you gave me?" Mikey asked starting to think about it.

"It is," Splinter said.

"Why did you give it to me?" Mikey asked, there are four of us, "why me?" Mikey asked not remembering when or why he got the stuffed toy.

Splinter smiled. He never told Mikey where he got the bear from. It was old and tattered his young son assumed he found it. "When you were younger you were very sick. Once night you were fussing, you would not let me leave. At the time I had no toys for you boys. I went to get the only toy, the stuffed bear. I brought it to you, you instantly took it in yours and held it close to your plastron. You slept threw the night for the first time since our mutation. Every time you were sick or scared you would not sleep without that bear."

Mikey blushed slightly, "I still sleep with it." Mikey looked to his father, "thank you for sharing with me, but I still want to be alone for a little while longer."

"I understand I was the same way as you. I would not even let my friends see me after it happened. My son if you need me please do not hesitate to come see me at any time."

"Hai sensei," Mikey said standing up with Splinter's help and walking to his bed. Splinter tucked him in

Splinter left Mikey's room to meet his three older sons.

"Sensei how is Mikey?" Donnie asked

"He still wishes to be alone, it will take time for him to except what happened." Splinter said, "if he comes to you to talk please do not push him away, allow him to talk and do not judge him."

The three turtles nodded, "sensei, what happened to your kimono?" Leo asked.

"Michelangelo had a small cut I used it to wrap it," Splinter said, "now I will meditate."

Mikey tossed and turned in his bed. He held the bear close to him. He whimpered and cried in his sleep. He no longer wanted to be alone, but he did not want to be with his brothers like he normally would.

Mikey walked to his father's room. He laid down next to his father in his futon. Mikey snuggled close to his father. Splinter took his blanket and covered his son with it. It was not long before Splinter could hear Mikey whimpering and breathing heavily. "Michelangelo wake up," Splinter said urgently. Splinter knew Mikey was having a panic attack. Splinter pulled Mikey into his arms, the turtle's body began to relax. Mikey buried his face into Splinter's shoulder, "everything will be okay," Splinter said.

"Don't leave me," Mikey whispered.

"I won't," Splinter said.

"He was going to hurt Raph. I could not let that happen," Mikey choked out. The rest of Mikey's words were lost in sobs.

Over the next few weeks Mikey slowly came to terms with what happened, but he knew he could never get over what happened. What he did know was that is father would be there, and understood what he was feeling. His bond with his father grew closer over their shared misfortune. That stuffed bear he got more than ten years ago also mean more to him.

Mikey hoped he would never have to kill again.