A/N So I have a new story for you all. This is a bit different from my previous stories. It's definitely a Rizzles story. There will definitely be drama and intrigue (and let's face it it's me so there will be some cliffhangers too). But this is a very, very AU story. I'm going to ask all of you to forget everything you thought you know about Rizzoli and Isles from a cannon standpoint. I hope you will go with me on this- and once you see and understand the plot I think you will get it.

I have to write the ideas that get into my head. And this story is where I found myself after a very interesting debate one night with some friends. The conversation was all about whether going back and changing something in your past would really make a big difference or not. The whole "If I could change one thing" debate.

Everyone has that 'thing'. Be it a moment. A decision. An action taken or one not taken. A choice. Something that was significant enough in your life where the consequences for just one change could make a major difference. Saying yes instead of no. Going left instead of right. Picking one over the other.

Everyone has that one thing that when you let yourself reflect on your life you always pause and think 'If only' you had done something different. Said something different. Chose something different. How might your life be different today?

I have a very strong opinion on this topic. One that I will share with you all at the end of all of this. But I wanted to tackle the notion of looking at life if just one thing changed.

At the heart of this story is how I see the world of Jane Rizzoli if she made just one different decision in her life. Just one. But it's a crucial one.

What would Jane's life be like if she had waited for backup before going after Hoyt that very first time?

Clearly this is why I am calling this very AU and why I'm asking you to forget everything you thought you knew about the R&I cannon. I'm taking a lot of liberty but I'm hoping you'll appreciate the idea and my take on how life would progress for Jane, and everyone else she cares about, if one crucial moment in her life, a moment she regrets and had horrible consequences, never happened.

We all have that moment we secretly want to change. But have you ever wondered about what the consequences would be if you could actually change it?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters for this story. They are in the hands of those more capable than I. I merely take that which I adore and try to create something worth reading.

If Only

Chapter One

Detective Jane Rizzoli and Detective Vince Korsak sat across from each other in the bullpen. They were looking, checking, reading, and rereading everything they had on the case so far. They needed a break. Something to crack the mystery that was the Surgeon. Something to let them have some kind of idea of where Catherine Cordell was. They were running out of time. Catherine was running out of time. And in that moment both partners knew they had nothing.

"Damn it!" Jane sighed with frustration throwing a report back on her desk. "What aren't we seeing?" She looked up desperately hoping her partner was having better luck than she was.

"I've got nothing Jane," Korsak sighed in just as frustrated of a tone as Jane. "There's nothing in these reports that would even start to give us a clue as to where he might be keeping her."

The new Chief Medical Examiner was set to start in two days and Korsak was hoping the new ME could review the medical evidence and find something. Dr. Pike was an incompetent and Vince was sure some answer was contained in the collected evidence if a decent ME could review all the results. But Catherine Cordell didn't have two days to wait for the new ME. She only had a few hours left.

They both shared a glance at each other from across their desks. They both understood the consequences involved if they couldn't get an idea about where the Surgeon was holding Cordell. She had maybe five more hours before she would be dead. Five hours. They had no clue where to even start to look for her.

"I can't look at these reports any longer," Jane announced as she stood up. "I'm going to recheck the crime scene." She knew it was pointless. She had been over every inch of the Cordell house. Twice. So had Korsak. So had the CSRU team. But it was something to do. Some place to go. It wasn't sitting at her desk. It wasn't staring at reports that didn't contain the answers she so desperately needed.

Korsak understood. He was starting to feel the walls closing in on him too. "Alright. If something comes up I'll call you. You do the same."

Jane nodded her agreement as she made her way to the elevator. She needed to get out of the station. She hated not having the answers. A life was on the line and she was failing.

Five bodies already. The sixth was about five hours from happening if the Surgeon stuck to his pattern. He was brutal. He targeted couples. He would enter the home, tie up the husband binding arms and legs together with duct tape. He would kill the husband slitting his throat from ear to ear with surgical precision. The press adopted the name 'Surgeon'. Jane had to admit that the name from the press was fitting. Sick. But fitting.

After killing the husband, the Surgeon would take the wife. He would keep the wife alive for another two days before he would kill her as well. He spent two days raping and torturing them. They never knew where he took the women but he would remove them from their homes. Or where he chose to kill them. Jane just knew he took them somewhere until he tired of them. They would be found dumped somewhere in a public place. And the Surgeon would start the process all over again.

This was the predicament Jane and Korsak found themselves in now. They had found the body of Edgar Cordell two days ago. Throat slit. Limbs duct taped. Dead. Catherine Cordell was nowhere to be found. The clock truly was ticking and she was running out of time.

Jane pulled up to the Cordell house and parked. The house was still surrounded with police caution tape and there was still an officer posted at the front to keep the press at bay. The scene inside had been processed two days ago but the last thing anyone had wanted was pictures from inside the home making their way to the front page of the Boston Herald or the Boston Globe.

"I didn't know you were still on light duty," Jane acknowledged the officer guarding the front of the house.

"One more week. Then I should be released by the stupid doctor," Rodriguez stated. He had broken his ankle in a foot pursuit of a drunken college student two months ago.

"Well, at least this beats sitting at a desk," Jane said with an understanding smile.

"This is true," he nodded. He took in the detective in front of him for a moment. She was very respected on the force. They all knew she was the youngest officer to earn the gold shield and she was the first female homicide detective in Boston PD history. But she was a cop. A good one. And all the guys on the force understood she earned her shield and the promotion to homicide. There were no rumors or stories of her 'sleeping her way' to the top. She had worked her ass off and was an excellent detective. The guys all liked her. "Anything at all on Cordell?"

Jane shook her head. "I'm just missing something. We have no idea where he took her," she didn't hide her frustration or her anger with herself.

Rodriguez looked at Jane again. That, right there, was why she did have the respect of the department. A psychopath and murderer kidnaps a woman and Jane thinks its her fault she hasn't figured out where he is holding her. The woman takes on the responsibility of her cases. It's personal for Jane. Rodriguez believes that's part of the reason she was as good of a detective as she was.

"You'll figure it out. Or he'll slip up. Have faith Detective. Are you going inside?" he asked.

Jane stared at the house and then finally nodded. Rodriguez pulled out the house key from his pocket and handed it to Jane. "Victor 825," she reminded him for the log. She took the key and headed up to the house.

She let herself into the house and walked into the living room. This was where they had found Edgar Cordell. She had logged several hours in this room trying to piece together not so much what happened in the room, as that was obvious, but what the room could tell them about the Surgeon or if any clues were left behind.

She couldn't shake the feeling that she was simply missing something. Somewhere there had to be a clue as to the identity of the Surgeon. They hadn't found DNA even though rape kits from the two female victims were performed. They had nothing they could run through CODIS for a match. They had not recovered any usable prints from any of the three crime scenes. They didn't have anything more than five dead bodies and number six soon to come. Unless Jane could figure out some way to find Cordell.

Jane walked around the room looking about. She was almost willing a clue or an answer to jump out at her. She couldn't help but think there was just something right under their nose that hadn't registered. She felt the answer was there. She just needed to see it.

And then, suddenly she did. Or maybe she did. She reached for her cellphone and dialed a number. "Jackson, it's Rizzoli," she stated excitedly into her phone. "Have you processed all of the prints from the Cordell living room yet?"

"All of the primary cards have been run. I'm just getting started on the secondary cards now," the evidence tech answered.

That was what Jane figured. Given the amount of time that had passed she thought that the secondary location print cards were just now getting started. "Do you have any secondary cards that are labeled 'living room, underside coffee table, left corner'?"

Print cards were labeled according to area location, surface and location on said surface. Jane was staring that the coffee table that was next to the loveseat. She needed to know if the techs took prints on the underside of that table.

"Let me look. Hang on," Jackson understood the clock was ticking for Catherine Cordell too. After about a minute he got back on the phone. "I have four cards labeled for that location," he answered.

"Jackson, I need you to run those priority for me, please!" Jane tried to contain her excitement.

"I'll run them all right now. I'll send the results straight up to you," he replied. He knew if Jane was asking it was for a reason. He would rush the prints through as best he could.

"Thanks! I owe you one!" she disconnected the phone and practically ran out of the house throwing the key at Rodriguez as she ran by.

"Detective?" he tried to ask but Jane was already in her car and headed back to the station.

Jane didn't travel lights and sirens but she ignored every major traffic regulation she could in order to get back to the station as quickly as possible. She tried Korsak's cellphone but it went straight to voicemail. She called it repeatedly as she drove back to the station. The call wasn't going through. He must be in a dead zone. After the fifth attempt she left a voicemail asking him to call her back as soon as he got the message.

She was trying not to get her hopes up too much. The print cards could easily be a dead end. If they were smudged or if they just came back to the Cordell's or the housekeeping staff they wouldn't be helpful. But there was just something that made Jane believe she may have made a significant observation.

She had been standing in front of the couch where Edgar Cordell had been tied up. Today, for the first time, she took a seat on that couch. All the evidence from the couch had now been collected and she was no longer concerned about contaminating the couch with fibers or hairs. That's when she realized it.

In order for Edgar to have been taped and restrained there was a distinct possibility that the killer, the Surgeon, would have had to grab ahold of the coffee table next to the couch. At least once, possibly twice for balance. And if he was in the midst of using the duct tape in that moment he would not yet have on latex gloves. Jane had learned over the years that duct tape and latex gloves never mixed without an issue. If they were lucky, maybe, just maybe the Surgeon didn't wipe the prints off the underneath portion of the coffee table.

Twenty minutes after Jane returned to the station she got the call from Jackson. "Detective, I think we may have something. One of the four cards had a usable print. I matched the print, ring finger of a left hand, to a name."

Jane didn't contain the excitement. "Who?"

"Charles Hoyt," Jackson answered. "I'm sending up the information right now."

"Thanks," Jane said disconnecting the call. A few seconds later a lab tech handed over the file to Jane. She looked at the match information and immediately ran Hoyt's name in the system. Within a few minutes she was looking at some simple biographical information. Hoyt had a criminal history. Assault, B and E, and several arrests for lewd conduct. Jane looked at the details and saw he had been caught several times attempting to have sex with a corpse while attending medical school. He had been expelled from medical school because of the repeat incidents. He was also dishonorably discharged from the Army for conduct unbecoming an officer. Again there was a notation about Hoyt and an incident with a corpse.

Just reading that information made Jane believe she was on the right track. A few more reports kicked out and Jane found information on a property, a house, owned by Hoyt. This could be something. The Surgeon had held the women captive for two days which meant he needed a secure place to keep them and torture them. A house could be such a location. It was at least worth a shot. Jane looked at her watch. Catherine Cordell had less than two hours to live if the Surgeon stuck to his killing pattern. And finally, Jane might have a clue where she could be.

Jane tried Korsak again. Nothing. She had the urge to just head out to the address for the house belonging to Hoyt. Time was of the essence and she couldn't reach her partner. She had her keys in her hand. She could just go check out the house. See if there was anything to the lead. It would be quick. She could easily call for back up if she got there and confirmed there was something going on.

She took one step towards the elevator almost convinced that this was the right thing to do and then she suddenly stopped. Something told her that she needed backup with her even on a cursory visit. So she turned and knocked on the door for her Lieutenant.

"Excuse me, Sir?" she asked as she knocked.

"What is it Rizzoli?" asked Lieutenant Cavanaugh.

"I think I have a lead on Catherine Cordell and the Surgeon," she said and waited for Cavanaugh's reaction.

His head snapped up immediately. He understood that the clock was ticking too. "Go on," he said.

Jane took two minutes to fill him in and show him the print and the preliminary information on Hoyt. She then stated that she had tried Korsak but calls were still not ringing through to him.

"Sir, we need to check out this house. Cordell doesn't have much more time remaining."

Cavanaugh agreed. "Take Crowe, Baxter and Hunt. Plus I'll call in a few officers for backup. I'll track down Vince as well." This really could be something. "And Jane," he added as she made her way to his door, "be careful." Jane nodded and went to get Crowe and the others.

Twenty minutes later, Jane, Crowe, Baxter, Hunt, Korsak, who finally had reconnected with his cellphone signal, and four patrol officers cautiously approached the house of Charles Hoyt. With the match of the fingerprints from inside the Cordell residence, they had probable cause to knock on the door. As they were heading for the house Cavanaugh even managed to get a judge on the phone and they were now in possession of a signed search warrant for the premise. An officer was bringing the warrant but Cavanaugh had confirmed it existed. If no one answered the door they were going in.

Three unanswered knocks later, the group moved in. Korsak, Hunt and two patrol officers headed around back. Jane, Crowe, Baxter and two officers took the front. Crowe kicked in the front door when their group was ready. Each started to go room by room clearing the rooms and checking for Hoyt or Cordell.

Jane got to the basement door first. She didn't hesitate to head down the stairs. She knew the guys were mere seconds behind her and as soon as she opened the door she heard faint whimpers and cries. She had a feeling she had just found Cordell.

She worked her way down the flight of stairs with her gun leading her way. She was cautious but quick. She got down to the landing without incident and she turned to her right and spotted a bound and gagged Catherine Cordell. She was relieved to see the woman alive but her instincts told her the basement was not currently secure. She tried to indicate to Cordell that she would be ok and help was on the way.

She never heard him. But she felt the two by four that knocked her over. She also felt it hit her across the face a second time. That's all it took for her to lose the grip she had on the here and now. But before everything faded to black for her she heard the unmistakable sounds of Korsak shouting her name and the loud bang from his gun. She was fading away but she watched Hoyt fall in front of her as Korsak's bullet hit him in the upper shoulder.

And then...nothing.